


Love Every Scar

by sophiekatie27



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Domestic Violence, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Mildly Dubious Consent, Sort of bloodplay i guess, talks about drug abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-08 11:53:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 49
Words: 122,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5496122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophiekatie27/pseuds/sophiekatie27
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Madison Maxwell gets signed to WWE her world gets turned upside down. She gets reacquainted with an old friend who turned his back on her and meets a few new ones. For a girl who has grown accustomed to loneliness and abuse, it's difficult to adjust to having people care about you. Roman Reigns/OC, mentioned Dean Ambrose/OC. Non canon storylines</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Becky and Sasha stood in the middle of the ring, the 20,000 fans in the Staples Center were pumped, hanging on to every word that the baby-face duo spoke. It was the Raw before Night of Champions, and two weeks ago, the girls had issued a challenge to Paige that they were keen on hearing the answer to.

" So, come on Paige, who's it gonna be? You've alienated every Diva in the locker room, you've attacked your friends, hell, you've put Charlotte out for two months!" The flame haired Irish woman goaded. " I can't imagine anyone would want to team with you against us at Night of Champions. So, let's get to it Paige, is it gonna be a handicap match, 'cause I would really enjoy that."

Paige's music blasted through the arena, and the Brit sashayed onto the ramp, her hands firmly in the pockets of the crop leather jacket. She stopped and brought her mic up to her mouth, the boos a deafening roar in her ears.

“ You say I've alienated the other Divas, that I've attacked my friends, but, you were never my _friend_ Becky. You and Charlotte used me to get a foot on the ladder, to raise your status, as a stepping stone to get your shots at the Divas championship. Sasha, you _had_ to go and stick your nose into my business. My problem wasn't with you, it was with Charlotte and Becky, but you had to get involved, and now my problem _is_ with you.” Paige paused to lick her lips, her eyes never leaving the pair in the ring.

There was a murmur going through the crowd, a movement that had been noticed by a few watching, but either the three Divas didn't notice it, or they ignored it.

“ You see girls, as for my partner, you just need to know what I've been telling you for weeks. I'm always one . . . step . . . ahead.” With that she dropped the microphone, returned her hands to her pockets and began walking slowly down the ramp towards the ring.

Just then a flash of silver vaulted over the barrier from the crowd; Becky and Sasha were too busy keeping an eye on Paige to notice the intrusion. The crowd erupted as the figure slid into the ring and stood, revealing who she was. 

“ Is that who I think it is?” Corey Graves asked his fellow commentator.

“ It is Corey. Madison, it's Madison!” Byron answered excitedly.

“ Madison exploded into NXT only one month ago, causing uproar amongst the Divas there, decimating everyone she has faced so far.” Corey explained to the viewers who might not watch the other brand.

The two Divas in the ring noticed too late that they had company. The brunette was already on them; Paige slid into the ring to join the brawl. Chaos ensued between the four of them as the show led to a commercial break. Sasha and Becky slid out, battered and worn, holding onto each other as they slowly made their way up the ramp. Paige and Madison stood at the ropes, shouting after them and taunting them for a minute or so, until they too made their way into the back.

* * *

Once they were all showered and dressed, Becky approached the new girl, who she had only spoken to once before tonight. She pulled the brunette into a hug.

“ That was such an awesome debut.”

“ Thanks.” Madison said, her cheeks burning slightly and tingeing with pink, feeling awkward in the near-strangers' embrace.

“ You wanna come for drinks with us to celebrate?” Paige invited.

“ No thanks, I'm gonna head back to the hotel. Thanks for the invite though.”

Madison left the locker room to a chorus of 'byes' and 'see you tomorrows'. As she neared the parking lot to pick up her rental she heard a familiar voice, one she had been hoping to hear again since she signed for NXT four weeks ago.

“ Well, well, well, if it isn't Maddy Mayhem.” She turned around and saw the smirk on his handsome face.

“ Tyler.” She said, a mix of shock, joy and apprehension on her face.

“ Hey, don't call me Tyler, they don't like that here.”

“ You started it _Seth_!” She emphasised the name, as if it was foreign on her tongue, smirking as she did so, glad to see that he was actually smiling at her.

Madison watched him for a second, it had been so long since she had seen him, six years to be exact, and she didn't know how to react now that he was here. She had had a huge crush on Tyler Black, as he had been known then, but nothing had ever happened. She had had a boyfriend and he had seen her more as a little sister anyway, then they had lost touch, when things had spiralled out of control for Madison. That was a time in her life she was trying to detach herself from, but seeing Tyler/Seth was messing with her head.

He held his arms out and relief washed over the young woman's body, she hadn't known how this reunion would go. She immediately ran down the corridor and flung herself haphazardly into Seth's waiting embrace, he enveloped her and spun her around. Madison immediately felt stupid, this wasn't how she would normally act, she shouldn't let her feelings be so out in the open like this, but seeing Seth had thrown her brain out of whack.

“ It's so good to see you again Mads.” He said into her hair.

“ Whoa, those are some fast moves Rollins, it's only her first night and you're already all over her in the hallway.” Dean Ambrose's cocky voice came from a little way down the corridor.

“ I'm guessing you guys already knew each other?” Roman Reigns and Dean approached them.

“ Hey guys. Erm, yeah, this is Madison. We know each other back from Ring of Honor.” Seth introduced.

“ Well, a friend of Seth's is a friend of ours.” Roman said in his silky smooth voice and Madison's heart leapt a little; he was even more gorgeous in the flesh than on TV.

Madison watched both men as they silently appraised her, taking in her tight navy jeans, white vest and leather jacket, drawing their eyes over the curve of her breasts before moving up to her face. She felt like a piece of meat, but with these two fine specimens of men, she found herself not minding. She mentally scolded herself, she was acting like a little whore.

She looked at them both as they made eye contact, paying special attention to Dean, she had met him once before and had been hoping he didn't remember, she saw no hint of recognition in his eyes, which was a relief. 

“ Well, I better get back to the hotel Seth, Benji's meeting me there.” She excused herself.

“ Benji?! Are you serious? You're still with that douche?”

“ Yeah, and don't call him that, he's changed.” A flame of anger flashed across her eyes and Seth knew from past experience not to push the issue further when she got that look. “ We'll catch up soon, yeah? And it was nice meeting you guys.” She turned on her heel and headed towards the parking lot.

“I won't hold my breath on that catch up.” Seth said quietly, but his friends picked up on it.

“ How come? You do something naughty and upset the boyfriend?” Dean grinned, his eyebrows waggling up and down and a glint in his eye.

“ I didn't have to. He's kinda the possessive type, to put it mildly. Not really a nice guy, I don't know what she sees in him. But he seems to have some kind of hold over her.”

“ It's called love dude.” Roman smirked.

“ Yeah, maybe. Talking of love, how are you and Kayla?”

“ I wish you wouldn't ask man, it's not great. I mean, we're trying, but it's kinda hard to try and fix our marriage when I'm away all the time. Then there's Olivia. I know she lives with her Mom, but Kayla's been there practically her whole life. We're just trying to make it work.”

Seth patted his friend on the back, in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.

“ Eugh, look what you did Rome, you bummed us all out. I think it's beer time.” Dean smirked.  
The three left the arena and headed to a nearby bar.

* * *

As Madison arrived at the hotel she saw Benji waiting in the lobby, she scolded herself for being late because she had stopped to talk to Seth. His eyes snapped over to her as she entered and his smile seemed genuine, maybe he wouldn't be mad.

“ What took you so long? The show finished an hour ago.”

“ Sorry, the girls were talking to me, they invited me for drinks, but I told them no.”

“ Good, you don't need friends like them. We've seen them on that Total Divas crap, nothing but little whores.”

“ Hey, don't call them that, they're nice girls. If you would have come to the show then you wouldn't have had to wait for me.” As soon as she said the words she wished she could swallow them back down, Benji didn't like to be challenged. He put his hand on her back of her neck, under her hair, squeezing ever so slightly, just to let her know who was in charge.

“ What was that? I told you, I had some stuff to sort.”

“ Sorry. Did you see the show?”

“ Bits.”

“ Did I look okay?”

“ You looked alright. Maybe the tops a little short, your belly was kinda pudging out a bit, and if it rides up in a match, do you really want the world to see that ugly scar?”

Madison blushed a little and subconsciously ran her fingers across her ribcage where her long scar crossed from her back to her front. She hadn't thought her top was too short, there was barely an inch between that and the top of her wrestling tights.

“ I'll ask about a longer one.”

Inside she cursed, she had already had to argue to get the gear she had worn tonight. 

In the Indies she had had full control over what she wore. In her early days it had been the standard hot pants and bra-top combo, but when Benji started to voice his dislike she had shifted to full length tights and a tight vest top. 

When she joined NXT they were happy enough to let her keep her outfit, they had just flashed it up a bit, adding sparkles and the like. However, in her meetings when she was discussing being brought onto the main roster, they had wanted her to dress sexier, 'more like a Diva'. 

In the end they had relented and let her keep the tights and given her a corset style top with straps, that showed very little stomach, they had also made it silver with gold trim.

She knew they would be pissed if she asked to change it again so soon, but maybe she could ask for an all-in-one similar to what Natalya wore.

Once they got into the room Benji lay on the bed, when Madison tried to cuddle into his side he sat up abruptly. She pouted her lip, but he took no notice. He pulled out a couple of clear bags from his jacket pocket, hundreds of small pills inside each one.

“ Benj, you can't bring that shit here, if anyone saw I could lose my job!” She protested.

He ignored her and took a couple of tablets from one bag, he held them up to her lips.

“ Want one?”

“ No, I don't do that anymore.”

“ You're no fun. I wish you would do it again, you were so hot back then, so skinny.”

“ Yeah well, too bad.” She snapped and Benji shot an angry look at her.

Madison saw Benji get a far-away look in his eyes and knew he was thinking about how she looked and acted back then; it annoyed and upset her in equal measures, but she would never tell him that. He lunged forward and gripped her thighs in his big hands.

“ I'm not in the mood.” She protested.

“ You don't say no to me Mads, you know that. Now turn over so I can fuck that pussy.”

She sat up and leaned in for a kiss, but he just pushed on her thigh hard, so that she rolled onto her belly. He pulled down her jeans and underwear before rolling a condom onto his already rock hard length. He pushed himself into her without any hint of foreplay and she winced slightly beneath him, she hadn't been anywhere near ready for him to enter her so abruptly.

As she lay there, her face pushed firmly into the mattress she thought about their relationship. Sure, to most people it may seem dysfunctional, but it was all Madison knew. She had been in a relationship with Benji since she was sixteen, there had been times when they were more off than on, but they had always ended up together.

Recently though, he had gotten less affectionate. Sure, he had never been the most attentive of lovers, she could count on her hands how many times he had given her an orgasm in the nine years they had been together, but now, he barely even held her hand.

When Madison's parents had died when she was sixteen, she had no one to turn to. She had no other family and so, had been put into foster care. 

One of the other girls there had introduced her to Benji and his friends. They had seemed dangerous to naïve little Madison, but Benji had showered the grief-stricken teenager with attention and gifts. She knew it couldn't be normal for a twenty-one year old to be showing such interest in someone her age, but it was too late, she was falling hard. 

Around the same time a male friend from school had introduced her to wrestling. She had always watched the WWE with her father, much to her mother's disapproval. She had even been to a few live events with him. But this friend had started wrestling training and thought it might be a good way for her to handle and let out the emotions surrounding her parents' deaths. After two lessons she was hooked.

When Benji had first offered her amphetamines she had declined, but he had pushed one into her mouth anyway and made her swallow it. The high she felt was unlike anything else she had ever experienced and she had become hooked on the feeling. 

The highs never felt as intense as that first time and so she kept taking more and more to get that feeling back. She remembered the look on Cary Silkin's face when she failed her third consecutive drug test at Ring of Honor and he had told her she was suspended indefinitely; she felt sick to her stomach just thinking about it. 

She was roused from her daydream by a loud grunt followed by the feeling of Benji pulling out of her. Obviously she would go another night unsatisfied. 

“ You're amazing Mads, I love you.” He said and finally kissed her, a hard, closed-mouth kiss.

That was the reason she kept coming back for more. When he said those words, the feeling of happiness and validation that filled her body was indescribable. 

“ I love you too.” She said as they both fell asleep, her head on his chest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first wrestling fanfic that I've posted. I have several chapters of this already written up, so am probably going to put a big chunk of them up before Christmas. I hope you enjoy and I look forward to any comments.
> 
> Some sort-of dub-con in here, just to warn you. Real drama will start next chapter

The next day Madison headed to the gym down the road from the hotel at eleven o'clock, as the hotel had not got one of it's own. The comments that Benji made the previous night were still playing on her mind; she didn't want to look bad if she was going to be on TV every week. When she arrived she saw Seth's friend Roman and his cousin's, the Usos, on the free weights. They waved hello to her as she passed them.

When she had warmed up she hit the treadmill first. Benji had said that he had more 'stuff to do' today, which she knew meant trying to sell the drugs he had had in the hotel room the night before. She kept cranking up the speed until she was running so fast that her brain could only spend time concentrating on not falling over, and not over-thinking every little thing. She vaguely noticed the Samoans shout goodbye as they left about half an hour later.

* * *

Once Roman had eaten lunch with his cousins and done an hour-long phone interview he headed back to the hotel to meet up with Dean and Seth. He groaned when he saw that they were both in gym gear.

“ Come on Rome, it's cross fit time.” Seth said excitedly, jumping from one foot to the other.

“ Cross fit, really?” He looked at Dean, who looked just as uninterested in partaking as he himself felt.

“ Yeah, I told you guys that you're gonna learn to love it.”

“ Whatever.” He replied, but fell into step beside them anyway. Dean and Roman didn't hate cross fit really, they just liked to wind Seth up.

When they arrived at the gym, Roman saw that Madison was still there, although she was now on the weights. The three men headed into the part of the gym where cross fit was held.

When they were done it was three pm and Roman was wiped out, especially as he had done two workouts today.

They walked into the main gym and he was surprised to see Madison was still there, now doing crunches on one of the mats. Her skin was flushed and glowing with perspiration.

“ Seth, I think you should maybe check on your friend Madison, she was here when I was earlier, at about eleven, and from the look of her, she hasn't stopped. She's gonna pass out if she goes much more. She looks exhausted.”

Seth's eyes widened in mild panic as he began to make his way over to his friend. He stood slightly over her and noticed that her whole body was trembling from over-exertion, he could tell she was almost at breaking point.

“ Hey Maddy, you think you should take a break for a moment?”

“ No, I'm good.” Her voice was strained.

“ Are you sure, 'cause you've been going at it for four hours straight.” 

“ And how do you know that?” She eyes him suspiciously.

“ Rome told me.”

She sighed loudly and shot daggers over to the Samoan who was shocked to see the menacing look on her pretty face. Finally she stuck out her hand and Seth pulled her to her feet.

“ So, what's with the suicidal workout?”

“ I have to.”

“ How come?”

“ I need to tone up, I can't have my stomach bulging out like it was last night.”

“ What? I'm guessing that's what Benji told you?” Seth spat.

Madison didn't answer, her eyes held his in a defiant stare and that was all the confirmation he needed. Roman and Dean moved a little closer as they sensed the tension rising and saw Madison's body lean forward slightly, as though she might pounce.

“ You know what he's doing, right? He's manipulating you. Please tell me you see that. You looked incredible last night.” With every word leaving Seth's mouth, Madison's breathing was getting harder, her body fizzled with anger, but he didn't stop. “ Look at you Maddy, look at yourself, you've probably got four percent body fat or something.” He moved his hand forward and pushed the tank top she was wearing up a fraction, showing a glimpse of her toned abs.

That seemed to be the last straw, Seth saw the anger flash in her eyes as she slapped his hand away. A second later and she launched forward and tackled him. Seth wasn't expecting it and hadn't braced himself, so he fell to the floor, with Madison landing on top of him. Dean and Roman weren't fast enough to stop the tackle, but Dean managed to slip his arms around the brunette's waist just as she raised her fist. He plucked her from his friend before she could land the punch, and Roman checked to make sure Seth was okay. Madison was frantically trying to get away from Dean, but he held on to her tightly as he walked to the corridor that led to the locker rooms.

“ As much as it would have been fun to see you kick the crap out of Seth, you know what would happen if the bosses got word of it.”

He felt her deflate in his arms, the fight leaving her, and so he felt safe to release her from his grasp. As soon as he did, she sagged against the wall.

“ What's the matter? Tough workout?” He smirked sarcastically.

“ Fuck you.” She replied, but a smile was on her face, she liked how Dean had this seemingly cocky nature.

“ Feel better now?”

“ No.”

“ How come?”

“ 'Cause now I have to apologise.” Dean laughed at the annoyed look on her face.

“ Why don't you get showered and we can all go for a drink?”

“ Erm, okay.” Dean noticed the long hesitation before Madison had answered and wondered what that was about.

“ You gonna be okay in the shower, or are you gonna pass out? I could always give you a hand.” He grinned.

Madison was about to tell him to fuck off, but he was already on his way back out to his friends.

* * *

Once Madison was clean and fresh, she walked towards the gym entrance, she didn't expect the guys to have waited for her, despite what Dean said, but sure enough they were indeed waiting, close to the reception desk. She made her way over to her two-toned friend.

“ I'm sorry Seth, I over-reacted.” She said and he pulled her into a quick hug.

“ I forgive you.” He smiled.

“ I don't think I'd have the strength left in me for a tackle like that if I'd gone four hours in the gym. That was impressive.” Roman chuckled.

Madison ignored his comment, she wasn't used to getting compliments, and she didn't know how to handle them. The main reason she had been so mad at Seth was because he was complimenting her, she would rather him just stop lying and say nothing, it was much easier to deal with.

They headed to a bar down the road and sat in a booth, chatting happily amongst themselves. Well, the guys were chatting happily, Madison was mostly quiet, only answering direct questions; although she was really enjoying listening to the guys' stories. 

Ten minutes after they got there, Madison was looking around the room when she saw the door open and to her dismay, Benji walked in with a couple of guys she didn't know. She began to panic, he would be so angry if he saw her in a bar with three guys, especially as one of them was Seth. She excused herself and headed to the bathroom, even though she knew it was rude, as Dean had been talking. 

She was so stupid to have come here with them, but when she saw Seth yesterday it had made her so happy that she had gotten carried away. As she left the booth she saw Seth's eyes glance towards the door, but the others hadn't seemed to notice.

Seth spotted Benji immediately, he hadn't changed much. He was almost as tall as himself, and chunkier, but no where near as well muscled, and he still wore that look of complete arrogance on his face. God, Seth hated him.

The Iowan watched as the group of three men approached a table where another two men were seated. The exchange between them was discreet, but Seth was looking out for it, so he spotted the bag of pills and the cash change hands. He scoffed to himself as it confirmed his suspicions that Madison had been lying, he hadn't changed at all.

Seth watched as they got up to leave, passing close to their booth on the way out. As they walked by, Benji spotted him, and their eyes locked together.

“ Tyler Black, it's been a long time.”

“ Not nearly long enough.” Seth replied, his jaw set.

“ Tried to steal anyone else's girlfriend lately?”

“ I was never trying to steal Maddy, I was trying to protect her, seeing as you seem so lousy at it.”

“ I protect her just fine!” Benji slammed his palm down on the table as if to emphasise his point.

“ Not from the things she really needed protecting from.”

“ Watch your mouth Tyler. And don't go sniffing around her now she's on your show, she's still mine. I bet you've already been trying, haven't you? Trying to get your dick in my girl.” He sneered.

“ I haven't even seen her actually.”

“ Good, you better keep it that way.” His tone was threatening as he held Seth's eyes for a few more seconds before turning and leaving.

Seth grabbed his phone and sent Madison a text to say they'd gone, he hoped she still had the same number. He then looked up to see both of his friends staring at him, their faces a mixture of confusion and wonderment.

“ Care to explain?” Dean grinned, obviously having enjoyed the drama.

“ What do you want me to explain?”

“ Well, we get that he's Madison's boyfriend, and we get that he's a complete jackass, but why is there so much animosity there? And how come you lied about seeing her?” Roman asked.

“ I told you, he's possessive, thinks any guy talking to Maddy is after her. And, let's just say, it's better for the both of us that I lied about seeing her.”

As he was talking, Madison arrived back at the table, looking worried.

“ Did he say anything?” She asked her friend.

“ Nope. I don't think he even saw me.” Seth watched the tension leave the brunette's shoulders as she lowered her head. He shot both of his friends a warning look to ensure they stayed quiet.

* * *

When Madison got back to the hotel after the Smackdown taping, Benji was already in the room, laying on the bed in just his boxers. His eyes flicked to the door when she opened it, but they were glazed over, he had obviously taken something. The Diva started to get changed and was about to pull on her PJ bottoms when she felt her boyfriend step up behind her.

“ Guess who I saw today?” He said, his breath ghosting over her bare shoulder.

“ I dunno, who?”

“ That prick Tyler who was at Ring of Honor with you, what's he call himself now, Seth? Yeah, Seth, that's it. I hate that guy, he thinks he is so much better than everyone. Thought he could take you away from me, didn't he? Thought he could poison you against me. But you're my little bitch, aren't you Maddy? Show me that you're my little bitch.” 

As he was talking, his hand was twisting into the hair at the back of her head. He yanked on it to bring her around to face him, and then pushed her down onto her knees, before releasing his hard cock from the confines of his underwear. Madison knew better than to deny him when he was in this mood, or any mood for that matter, and she also knew better than to look up at him from this position; he said it distracted him from feeling the pleasure when she tried to make eye contact with him. 

The young woman opened her mouth dutifully and Benji slammed his cock deep into her throat, she had to control herself to stop from gagging. He didn't give her any time to adjust, just began thrusting hard into her throat, his hands still gripping onto her hair roughly. He didn't relent even when Madison could barely breathe, tears streaming down her face from the feeling of being choked by his cock. 

He finally came, forcing the head of his cock even further down her throat, it took all she had to keep from retching.

“ That was awesome.” He said, heading back to lay down on the bed. “ Now, can you put some clothes on, I don't wanna be staring at your scar all night.”

Madison did as she was told and lay down next to her boyfriend on the bed, not daring to make any skin-on-skin contact, he didn't like it when she pushed at the best of times.

“ And don't you talk to that Seth jack ass baby, I'll find out if you do, and I'll make you regret it.” He leaned over and pressed a kiss onto the middle of her forehead, the gesture a stark contrast to his words.

Madison lay awake, listening to Benji's breathing even out to indicate that he was sleeping. She was so glad that she had spotted him earlier in the bar before he had spotted her, she dreaded to think what he would do if he knew she had been hanging out with him. She couldn't believe how stupid she had been, letting herself relax so much around Seth and his friends, she never thought how much it might upset Benji if he found out. She knew that she had to keep away from him from now on.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you guys are enjoying this so far. 
> 
> So, this chapter has Roman-centric smut! Also, this chapter starts with a masturbation scene, just so you know

It was Madison's fourth week on the main roster, and Benji had been travelling with her the whole time, but today he had caught a flight home, he said it was too boring waiting around for her and he had a life to get back to. He had made her promise to behave and stay away from pretty much everyone, especially Seth. 

Madison had enjoyed him being on the road with her, she liked having his full attention, but there were only so many nights of rough, unsatisfying sex a girl could take. Tonight she was going to get her orgasm, even if she would be giving it to herself. Over the years she had grown used to being responsible for her own climax, but with Benji in her bed every night, she hadn't been able to.

She lay in her king-size hotel bed, completely naked, her dark hair splayed haphazardly over the pillow. She brought her left middle finger up to her mouth and sucked on it, getting it nice and wet, before bringing it down to her clit. She circled the bundle of nerves a couple of times, relaxing into the pleasure; she sometimes wondered if Benji even knew what a clit was. 

Once she felt that she was wet enough she slid the middle finger of her right hand between the warm folds of her pussy and into her core. She curled the finger back and forth, teasing her g-spot, before adding another finger, her left hand still working on her clit. She moaned softly as she felt her release building in the pit of her stomach. 

As she continued to pleasure herself, she began to grow frustrated; she was almost there, but couldn't seem to get herself over the edge. She continued to try for a few more minutes before giving up. 

She was angry and frustrated now, all the tension from the last few weeks needed to be released. She knew why she hadn't been able to make herself cum; it wasn't the release that she needed, what she really needed was the validation that came with it. When Benji praised her after sex, she actually felt that maybe she wasn't so useless after all. That was the only time he told her he loved her, so she knew that if she called him up now, not only would he be pissed off that she was 'checking up on him', but she wouldn't get the validation and praise that was the real release she needed. 

Madison knew she wouldn't be able to sleep now, so she decided to head down to the hotel gym, she hoped it wasn't locked overnight, as it was now two-thirty am.

* * *

Roman lay back on the king size bed of his own hotel room, wrapped only in a towel with his freshly washed hair over one shoulder. He took out his mobile and clicked on Kayla's contact, she answered after three rings.

“ Hey baby, you okay?” He asked, already running his fingers slowly over his crotch, he knew the direction that he wanted this conversation to take.

“ Yeah, am fine, you?”

“ I'm good. Jus' wonderin' why you don't come visit me?” He made his tone deeper and sexier.

“ You know how busy I am with work.”

“ I know, I know. But baby, I need to see you, I need to feel you.”

“ Sorry, I don't think it's gonna be any time soon, anyway, aren't you home the day after tomorrow?” She answered, sounding obviously distracted by something.

“ Wednesday's too far away right now. Talk to me baby, tell me what you're gonna do to me.”

“ Roman, I don't have time for this. You don't need me to talk to you, you can get yourself off just fine. I'm super busy, I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

“ Yeah, fine, bye.” He disconnected the call and let out a frustrated growl.

Kayla was right, he could easily get himself off without her, but the fact was, he wanted to feel that connection with her. When he had been home two weeks ago, the sex had been great, but he hadn't felt that they were connected on a deeper level. He missed his wife when they were apart, but he missed how they had been when they first got married four years ago. When he went home now he just felt like he was in the way.

He was pissed off with her now, he felt like he was trying harder than she was to fix this crack in their marriage. He was definitely not in the mood to jerk himself off anymore, he wanted to hit something, to destroy something. He decided that a healthier way of dealing with it was probably to go down to the gym and work out his frustrations on the weights. He pulled on some clothes, grabbed a clean towel and his key card and headed downstairs.

* * *

As he got to the gym, he saw that the light was already on, but it had been dimmed down low. He saw a figure over on the pull-up bar and squinted to see who it was. Once he stepped through the glass door he saw that it was Madison, Seth's friend. He hadn't spoken to her much, since that day at the bar four weeks ago, it seemed that she had been actively avoiding Seth.

“ What's got you in the gym at three in the morning?” He asked quietly when she looked over at him.

“ Can't sleep, you know, frustrated. I could ask you the same question.”

“ And I'd give you the same answer.” He chuckled and he saw her smile back at him.

They fell into a comfortable silence, both concentrating on working out their frustrations. Roman smirked to himself as he thought that the Diva's frustrations were probably very different to his own; he had seen her boyfriend around up until yesterday.

He grabbed two dumbbells from the rack and began curling them to warm up his muscles. As he did so he chanced a look over at Madison, she was still on the pull up bar, her golden skin glistening in the half-light, the soft pants coming from her mouth were starting to sound erotic to his ears. He had to control his damn self! He tore his eyes away from her and tried to block out the noises.

As Madison was on the bar, she thought she could feel the Samoan's eyes on her, but when she looked over, he had his eyes firmly closed. 

She took a moment to give him a once over, her eyes taking in every inch of him. He was wearing gym shorts and a vest, his hair was damp and she watched as droplets of water ran down the strands and traced a line down his arm. And damn, those arms, they were perfection. Madison couldn't help but imagine how good those arms would probably feel wrapped around her body.

As she was blatantly staring at him, his eyes opened and met hers, they locked together and she couldn't look away. They stared into each other's eyes from across the room, their lips slightly parted, Roman's tongue inadvertently flicked over his bottom lip, wetting it, and this small movement was all it took to break Madison's gaze. She kept her eyes on the floor, her cheeks felt like they were on fire, she was so glad that she had not put the lights on fully. 

The thoughts her dirty little mind were thinking right now were unsettling her, the things she was imagining him doing to her. This wasn't right, she had Benji, she loves Benji. But all she could think was, 'I bet he wouldn't leave a girl unsatisfied'. She couldn't believe what she was thinking, Benji would surely punish her if he ever found out.

The brunette decided it was probably for the best if she left, she didn't want Roman to catch on to her filthy thoughts, if he hadn't already when he had caught her staring. She jumped off the bar and started doing her cool down stretches, the last thing she needed was to pull a muscle because she had been in too much of a hurry to leave.

Roman watched as Madison started to stretch, starting with her arms and working her way down to her legs. Her back was to him, and he admired the smooth lines of her body in the leggings and vest top she wore, her ass looked incredible. He wanted to run his hands over the curve of it, squeezing the flesh in his palms. God, what was he thinking? He had a beautiful wife at home, he was just frustrated. 

He managed to calm himself down, that was, until Madison bent down, her body doubled over, her ass fully on show. She placed her palms on the floor and began to walk forward on them, her legs planted firmly. Once she was stretched out as far as she could without falling, she started to walk backwards on her hands, bringing them back to join her feet. She had to be doing that on purpose! She must know how it looked from behind, how it would affect him. 

He tried so hard to ignore the ache in his cock and the fact that it was steadily growing hard, but it was difficult.

Madison was glad that she as almost done stretching, she really wanted to get back to her room and do something about how aroused she now was. Just two more reps and she would be done. Her eyes were focused on her own fingers, moving across the floor. 

She was on her last rep, her hands moving backwards towards her feet when her ass hit against something. Her mind was confused, until she felt hands grab her hips firmly.

She flicked her eyes up to the mirrored wall in front of her and, sure enough, the huge Samoan was stood behind her, his hands gripping her flesh, her ass held firmly against his crotch. His eyes were settled on her ass, Madison didn't speak, couldn't speak. He pulled her back, even tighter against him, and she could feel the outline of his hard length grind against her. She let out an involuntary moan.

Her brain was fried, she had no idea what was going on, only that it felt good and her body was responding to it even without the help of her brain. Her hips rolled against the man behind her, her arousal growing by the second. She heard as he let out a low growl, the sound turning her on even more, if that was possible. 

She felt the hands on her hips push her away slightly, before pulling her so she slammed back into the wall of flesh.

 

One of the hands moved to her ass, rubbing the firm mounds of flesh, before moving to her front, the fingers running slowly over her clothed heat. It was her turn to make a noise, a quiet moan which caused Roman to repeat the action. 

The brunette chanced another look in the mirror and her eyes met with his in the semi-darkness, his face a picture of pure lust. She watched as he stepped to the side a little, reaching out to an abandoned exercise ball, which he rolled over to her. 

Madison didn't know why she was letting this happen, she should stop it, she should think about Benji, but he was the last person she could think about right now. It was as though her body was working on auto pilot as she reached out for the exercise ball and pulled it under her, so the top half of her body was resting against it. She pushed her bottom up a little so it was more in line with Roman, letting him know that she wanted this too.

Roman couldn't think about what he was doing, or he might stop, and he really didn't want to. It had just been far too tempting, watching as she bent over, stretching. He hadn't been able to resist a touch, and now it seemed as though a touch was becoming much, much, more. 

He rubbed at her pussy through the thin material of her gym wear, and he took the soft moans as permission. He slowly pulled on the waistband of her leggings, pulling them down, along with her panties, he was impatient to feel her heat around his begging cock. He then unleashed his length from the confines of his shorts and he gasped a little as the tip came into contact with her dripping folds.

“ Shit.” He said as he realised he didn't have a condom.

“ I'm on birth control, and I'm clean, if you are.” She said needily, as though reading his mind.

He didn't even bother with an answer, just plunged his length inside of her, to the hilt. They both let out a satisfied moan.

Madison chided herself, why had she been so forward as to offer to let him fuck her bare? She had never had sex without a condom. She hadn't told Benji that she had started taking birth control, as she didn't want him to stop sheathing himself, she never one hundred percent trusted that he wasn't doing other people, and she didn't want a disease.

She was brought out of her thoughts as Roman's cock pounded into her forcefully, she bucked her hips back into his again. 

He set a steady pace, his fingers tracing patterns on the skin on her hips. Madison couldn't believe how good he felt inside her, how well he filled her, how well he moved. Roman relished in the feeling of her tight, hot pussy engulfing his cock, she felt so good. 

He let his hands wander under her vest top as he thrust deep inside her. His hands roamed the flesh, his right one felt something a little different, a change in the texture of her skin, a scar. He felt her pull away from his hand a little, but his left arm didn't let her get far. He brought his fingers back to the scar and traced it from just under her right breast, back across her ribs and finishing just before her spine. He loved how she shuddered under his touch.

Madison couldn't help her body's reaction to his touch, no one had ever touched her there, apart from the doctor who had stitched her up, but that wasn't sensual and erotic like Roman's touch was. Benji had always said her scar was ugly, so she had thought that, when Roman's fingers found it, he would be repulsed for sure, but he hadn't been. In fact, he had carried on running the tips of his fingers back and forth over the length of it.

She felt the fire start to grow in her belly, the sensation of the Samoan cock, so deep inside of her at this angle was all too much. Her breaths were getting quicker, and her hips bucked back to match his thrusts. He brought one hand round to her front and began rubbing her clit, and that was all it took. Her resolve broke and she was moaning loudly and cursing as she came hard, she hoped no one could hear them.

As Madison gave in to her climax and her walls started to clamp around him, Roman's steady thrusts began to get sloppy. He slammed into her three or four more times before he grunted with his release, his body half collapsing on top of her.

They stayed in that position for a few seconds before Roman pulled out, earning a tired moan from the woman beneath him. He re-situated his shorts before pulling Madison's leggings back up her legs.

“ Thank you.” She said, once he had redressed her.

“ No, thank you.” Roman smiled at her as he turned to leave the gym. Once he was gone, Madison stood, staring at the door, wondering how she had ever allowed that to happen.

* * *

When Roman got back into his room, he collapsed onto the bed and rubbed his hands over his face. What had he just done? He was always saying how he was the one trying to make his marriage work, and now he'd done this. And the worst part was that he couldn't stop thinking about how hot it was. 

God, she had felt so perfect beneath him, responded to his every touch, like she was hungry for it. 

This was bad, this was really bad. He was meant to be a husband, a good husband at that, he prided himself on it. 

Now, as he thought about how much he had let his wife down, he felt himself drifting into sleep, all of his previous frustration drained from his body.

* * *

Madison walked slowly back to her room, she used the stairs rather than the elevator, as she thought that if she stood still, she was sure to lose it. How had that happened? She was certain that Benji would sense it when she next saw him, and then she would be in trouble.

All she could think about though, was how good Roman had made her feel, he had given her the validation she needed without even using words. She hadn't needed him to tell her she was beautiful, she had felt it with every caress of his hand, especially when he had traced the line of her scar back and forth across her body. 

This was bad, this was really bad.

She found herself worrying now that she had enjoyed it too much, had it been good for Roman? By now Madison understood that sex wasn't about fulfilling her needs, especially not above those of the man. She had been selfish and greedy, even though she had been taught not to be. As much as she was worrying about Roman's needs, she still couldn't stop thinking about how intense her pleasure had been. It was absolutely nothing like sex with Benji.

Madison had had sex with other guys before, her and Benji hadn't been a couple consistently in the nine years since they met. Plus, Benji didn't mind sharing her, as long as there was something in it for him; more often than not it was when he had gotten himself into a drug debt he couldn't pay. Those men were just like Benji when it came to sex, only in it for their own gratification, the only reason her boyfriend was able to use her as a bargaining chip was because she was pretty.

She had also had sex with people she hadn't been 'gifted to', these were usually the ones she remembered. When she had been suspended from Ring of Honor for her habitual use of amphetamines, she had been angry at Benji, so angry that she had broken up with him, the only time she had shown such defiance. 

She had blamed him for getting her hooked on the pills and jeopardising her career, not that she had come off the pills at that point. 

The thing is, amphetamines give you a crazy high sex drive, and she no longer had a boyfriend (even if sex with Benji wasn't great, it was still sex at the end of the day). She had spent eighteen months working for other Indy promotions, lesser known ones where they were less likely to carry out random drugs tests. 

She had found people to fulfil her urges; some weren't great, some were okay, a couple were amazing. But it wasn't long before she went crawling back to Benji, only after she had finally kicked the habit, after one particularly eye opening experience.

Sex had never been a huge deal to her, it couldn't be when she was passed to people as a way of getting her boyfriend out of trouble. That's why she couldn't understand why she had been so turned on by Roman. 

Sure, she had needs and desires like everyone else, but they weren't attached to the physical aspect of sex like they seemed to be for most people. But seeing the Samoan working out under the soft light of the gym, had made her feel a physical yearning to be touched.

She had to stop thinking about it, she didn't know what she was going to do if she bumped into him at the Smackdown taping the next day, she would have to try her best to avoid him. 

She settled down to sleep, now exhausted from the physical and mental stress of the night.


	4. Chapter 4

Madison arrived at the arena for Smackdown and headed towards the women's locker room. She put her bags down at the far end, away from any one else.

In the four weeks since joining the main roster, she hadn't really interacted with anyone much, apart from the odd polite hello. Benji was always telling her how the women here were sluts and would lead her in the wrong direction, but as far as she had seen, they all seemed really nice. Despite how they seemed, she had kept her distance, as Benji had asked.

As she pulled on her ring gear she began to dwell on how lonely she felt now that Benji was gone. She knew she didn't need anyone but him, but now that he wouldn't be travelling with her for a couple of weeks, she didn't know what she was going to do with her time. 

The only friend she had here had been Seth, but she hadn't spoken to him for over three weeks and so he was probably pissed at her. Whilst wallowing in her self pity, the brunette hadn't noticed someone sit down beside her on the bench.

“ Hey Madison, I'm Naomi, it's good to finally meet you properly.” 

“ You too.” Madison replied politely.

“ You know, you should come a bit closer to the rest of us, we don't bite! There's no point hanging out all the way over here.” She grinned.

“ I like the quiet before a match, you know, getting myself psyched.” That wasn't the truth, but Naomi didn't know that.

“ Fair enough. But you're gonna have to come out with us some time, let us welcome you properly.”

“ That sounds good, we'll have to sort something.” She had no intention of making good on that, but she wanted to be left alone.

“ We definitely will. Have a good match tonight.” The Diva left to join her friend and Madison was left feeling sad, she would love to go and hang out with all the Divas, get to know them, but she knew Benji wouldn't approve. 

And after last night, she definitely couldn't let him down again.

* * *

Once she was dressed she headed to catering and sat on a table on her own, with her Ipod on, playing Parkway Drive. She had her elbow resting on the table propping up her head, with only one earbud in, so that she was aware of her surroundings. She let her eyes drift closed for a moment, unintentionally bringing back images of her illicit encounter of the night before. 

She felt a blush rise in her cheeks as she thought about it, before a voice broke her out of her daydream.

“ Parkway Drive, nice.” She opened her eyes to see that Seth had hold of her Ipod and had been checking what she was listening to. She half-heartedly smiled up at him as she saw his adorable smile light up his face. “ Benji gone home?”

“ Yeah. Yesterday.”

“ Does that mean you can talk to me again?” He said, only a hint of spite in his voice.

“ Don't be like that Seth.”

“ Like what? I was asking a serious question.”

“ Well yeah, I guess I can talk to you. What's up?”

“ Nothing's up, I just wanted to check on how you're doing. Getting used to the schedule and travelling?”

“ Yeah, I'm loving the travelling actually, you know I'm not really a home bird.” Madison said with a smile, but noticed Seth's eyes turn sad, he obviously knew she meant because her parents had died when she was sixteen, she didn't much care for 'home' anymore. 

“ We get to see a lot of amazing places. It can be tough though, that's why you need friends around you.” Seth was obviously trying to make a point and Madison shot him a warning look, not wanting him to push the subject.

There was a couple of moments of tense silence, before Seth spotted someone over the other side of the room.

“ Hey Dean, over here.” He hollerred.

Dean came shuffling over to their table with his plate of food and flopped down heavily onto the chair.

“ Madison, long time no see.” He grinned his lopsided smile at her and she couldn't help but smile back. “ You disappeared so suddenly that I thought you'd been abducted by aliens or something.”

“ Fuck you Ambrose.” She laughed.

She didn't know what it was about these men, but they made her feel happier. She had never been one for hanging out with friends, apart from Benji; ever since her parents had died, she had been a bit of a loner. 

But when she was around Seth and Dean she felt more alive and she enjoyed their company, Roman too, but she had messed that up last night. As she was thinking, she heard footsteps behind her.

“ You look like shit Rome, what did you do last night?” Dean chuckled and Madison's whole body tensed.

“ Didn't get much sleep.” Roman answered after a long silence.

He sat down on the seat next to her, opposite Dean and placed his soda can down. Madison couldn't look at him, she felt like she couldn't breathe. She should have known that with Seth and Dean sitting with her, Roman wouldn't be far behind; they may not be brothers on screen anymore, but off it, they were closer than ever.

“ Well, you better be alert for our match.”

“ You know I always am.”

“ Good. Now, I was just telling Madison here that we were worried she had been beamed up 'cause we haven't seen her in so long.”

“ Yeah.” Roman replied simply, his tone showing how awkward he was finding this interaction.

“ Well, now you've seen me. I better go get ready for my match.” She stood and left the table abruptly, taking her plate and drink with her. Her match wasn't for another hour, but she couldn't spend any more time sitting next to the Samoan who seemed to be invading her every waking thought.

* * *

Madison's match was with Eva Marie, and she was booked to lose, which she wasn't happy about. Eva may have improved after her training with Brian Kendrick, but she was by no means great. 

After Paige and Madison had lost to Becky and Sasha at Night of Champions, Madison had been booked on shows consistently, but her win/loss record was around about 50/50. 

It wasn't losing that she had a problem with, that was part and parcel of being a wrestler, it wasn't even that she had to lose to Eva, it was that she was supposed to lose clean, to help Eva on her push to the championship. But whatever, Madison would do whatever it took to remain a part of this business. 

Everything except almost getting her neck broken. 

Eva botched 'Sliced Red #2', sending the top of Madison's head crashing into the mat. The brunette lay dazed while the red head covered her for the pin, not even whispering to check if she was okay like most other wrestlers would if they botched a move. 

The victor climbed out of the ring after celebrating for a short time, and made her way up the ramp. 

Once Madison had been checked on by the trainer and got her bearings back she slipped out to the floor and also made her way to the back.

She caught sight of Eva standing with Summer Rae and Heath Slater. She felt that familiar burning rage in her chest, and even though she was at work, she couldn't stop herself.

“ You're supposed to let go of my head, you stupid bitch. You can't even pull off your own finisher!”

“ Excuse me!” Eva spun around, her and Summer both pulling off bitchy prom queen expressions perfectly.

“ You heard me! You planning on paralysing the other Divas so no one's in your way for the title? Is that your plan?”

Quite the crowd had gathered, most people finding it amusing and not bothering to interfere.

“ Sorry, little girl? You've been here for, what? Five minutes?”

“ That's true, but at least I learned to wrestle before I got here.”

“ That's cute. Do you know who you're talking to?”

“ Do I . . . ?” Madison laughed, her anger burning so hot inside her now that she started to lunge forward.

Before she made contact with a startled looking Eva Marie, she felt arms grab her from behind. She was pulled up against a firm body and dragged away, kicking to escape the whole time.

* * *

She was pushed into a small room, what looked like a utility room, there was a washing machine and some cleaning products.

She was thrashing against whoever was holding her, until she was pushed into the wall, her front crushed against the cold plaster as the mystery person pressed into her to stop her from moving.

“ That was a dumb move.” Roman whispered in her ear, and a thrill ran through her body.

Being this close to the Samoan again caused butterflies to erupt in her stomach. Her body froze as she took in the feeling of his arms around her once more. She felt a surge of confidence rush though her, that was an unusual feeling for her.

“ You calmed down now?”

“ Nope.” She said, and it was true, she still felt the burning in her chest, her temper had always been bad. Now, she could feel that anger morphing into more of a nervous, kinetic energy.

The confidence she was feeling was unnerving her, but her body seemingly decided to go with it. She pushed her ass back, so it rubbed against his clothed crotch. She heard him let out a shocked gasp, he had obviously not been expecting that. He didn't move, so she did it again.

“ You need me to calm you down, huh?” He growled in her ear and her legs almost turned to jelly.

“ Uh huh.” She managed, not daring to speak another word.

“ I can do that.”

Before she knew it, Roman hands were pulling at the waistband of her wrestling tights, sliding them down to her knees. He pressed himself against her ass as he brought his fingers around to rub over her clit, a small moan escaping her mouth. 

She felt his cock growing against her as he used his free hand to massage her breast. Madison's breath was coming in pants as he was bringing her so close to climax with just his fingers on her sensitive nub. 

She felt the hand leave her breast and heard a zipper being pulled down. She pushed her tights all the way off using her feet as Roman slipped a finger inside her aching core and curled it around. That was all it took to make Madison crumble, her climax hitting her full force. It shocked her, no man had ever made her cum using his fingers alone, no man had ever spent that much time on her.

Roman didn't let her rest for long, her grabbed her ass with both hands, Madison went up on her tip toes to give him better access. He slowly pushed his rock hard cock into her with a grunt, she braced herself against the wall as he started to thrust.

“ God damn, you feel so good.” 

He pounded into her over and over again, her face slightly smushing against the wall each time, but she didn't care, it felt too good. Roman had one hand on her hip now and the other had once again attached itself to her breast before moving down to trace the line of her scar, as he had done the previous night; Madison could once again feel herself reaching climax and she bit down on her lip to keep from making a sound, she was all too aware that someone from the roster could be walking past the door at any moment.

As Madison came again and Roman could feel her pulsing on his cock, he lost it. He came hard inside of the brunette and pulled out. He bent down to pull her tights up before fastening up his cargo pants. He let his fingers run down Madison's sides before she turned around to face him.

“ I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.” She said, causing Roman's face to crumple in confusion.

He didn't have a chance to reply before she had opened the door and was taking off down the corridor. He checked the coast was clear before leaving also, he had a match in about ten minutes and needed to clear his head. Madison's reaction had confused him, but he would have to think about that later, right now he needed to head out to the back of the crowd to get ready for his entrance.

* * *

Madison stood in the shower, letting the water cascade over her, not caring that it was probably a little too hot. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid as to let that happen again. 

And the way she had acted was disgusting, pushing back against him like a desperate little slut, trying to turn him on. If she ever tried that with Benji she knew she would have been in trouble. 

Thinking about Benji hurt, she had betrayed him, and what was worse, she had enjoyed it. She had not enjoyed the fact that she had betrayed him, but the action? Most definitely.

She turned the water off, wrapped her towel around her and headed into the locker room. She was glad that no other Divas were in here at the moment, she didn't think she could handle talking to anyone. She sat on the bench and let her head fall into her hands, a few tears forced their way from her eyes. She was so ashamed. 

What must Roman think of her? What would Seth think if he found out? Worst of all, what if Benji found out? As she was wallowing, her phone rang. A glance at the screen sent a panic through her, talk of the devil. She quickly wiped her face and took a couple of deep breaths.

“ Hey Benj.”

“ Hi Maddy. I was just checking in. You had your match?”

“ Yeah, I lost.”

“ And what are you doing now?” She was slightly annoyed that he hadn't offered her any words of comfort about her loss, but she shouldn't have really expected any.

“ I just showered and now I'm gonna head back to the hotel.”

“ Good, I'm glad to see you're doing as I told you. I wouldn't want you hanging around and getting any ideas off those sluts.” If only you knew she thought bitterly.

“ I'm just gonna get some sleep.”

“ Okay. I will see you in a week or so.”

“ Okay. I love you.”

“ Bye Maddy.” He said as he hung up.

Madison dressed quickly and headed out to her car, she didn't want to be here when Roman finished his match, she was too ashamed to see him right now.


	5. Chapter 5

For the next couple of days Madison stayed in the flat that she had rented in Orlando for the short time she had been at NXT. 

Madison didn't want to go home to Pittsburgh, where she shared a place with Benji, she never really felt a sense of 'home' there anyway, or anywhere else for that matter. Benji was the only reason she had to travel home and she couldn't face seeing him now, she was scared that she would crumble and confess everything to him, she didn't want to think about what he would say or do if she did.

Benji rang a couple of times a day to check up on her, she had told him she needed to stay behind for training, after all, she was in Orlando so could easily have had to stop at the performance centre. 

She spent her time thinking over the terrible things she had done, she had to think of some way of making up for it, some penance, then maybe she could begin to forgive herself and wouldn't have to confess to Benji.

She would go on a run, that's what she would do, push her body to the absolute limit to punish it for reacting so needily to Roman. 

She couldn't think about Roman right now, his thick arms wrapped around her as his fingers gently ran the length of her scar. How he could bring himself to do that she had no idea, looking at it in the mirror made her shudder, never mind anyone else.

She pulled on her compression tights and a vest top and put her earbuds in before setting off out of the apartment. Running always cleared her head and that was what she desperately needed now, to stop the guilt of betraying Benji, and the thoughts of Roman that made her scold herself over and over.

She ran for nigh on two hours, never relenting with her pace and it felt good. Her body was gasping for breath, her muscles aching, grey spots were swimming before her eyes, but it felt good. 

She stopped to steady her breathing, she didn't want to actually pass out on the pavement, when her phone rang. It wasn't a number she recognised, but she answered it anyway, albeit hesitantly.

“ Hello?”

“ Hey Mads, it's me, Seth.”

“ This isn't your number.”

“ Oh, I know. I borrowed Roman's phone 'cause my battery's dead.”

“ Oh okay. What's up?”

“ I just wanted to make sure you were okay, I didn't see you after your match yesterday and I heard you had a bit of a confrontation with Eva. You gone home?”

“ Nah, I'm in Orlando.”

“ Really? Benji with you?”

“ No, he's still back home.”

“ Do you wanna hang out maybe?” 

“ You're here? I didn't know you moved.”

“ Yeah, couple of years back. We seriously need a catch up.” There was a smile in his voice and it made her smile, she had missed him so much.

“ Maybe another time, I have stuff to do.”

“ Is this because of Benji?”

“ No Seth, just drop it please.” Madison was irritated, but she still felt bad taking it out on Seth. She couldn't spend time with him, because that would be fun, and she didn't deserve to have fun at the moment.

As she surveyed her surroundings to see which way to run next, Madison noticed that she was near enough at the performance centre. Maybe she should just pop in and train a bit, keep up the pretence of why she had stayed. 

She entered the building and was immediately spotted by Naomi and Cameron. They made their way over to her with huge smiles on their faces.

“ Hey Madison. How you doing?” Naomi pulled her into a hug.

“ Yeah, not bad, you?” Madison was surprised at the gesture, but hugged the slightly older woman back, albeit awkwardly.

“ Hey, I'm Cameron.” The other introduced herself.

“ I know.” Madison smiled brightly. “ Madison.” She was shocked when Cameron too pulled her into a hug.

“ You wanna fight?” Naomi grinned and Madison smirked before pulling herself up into the ring. Cameron decided to act as the referee.

Madison had never really had girl friends before, so she didn't know how to act, but luckily they didn't have to have idle chit chat and could just wrestle. Naomi was great in the ring and was giving Madison a run for her money. While they were to-ing and fro-ing the other girl began to speak.

“ You kinda keep yourself to yourself a lot, don't you? How come?” She knew Naomi wasn't trying to pry, she was just being friendly. 

“ I don't know really, just never had many friends I guess.”

“ Well, you can carry on by yourself if you want, but maybe you'd like some company once in a while?” Naomi rolled Madison over into a pin, but the younger Diva managed to wriggle out on two.

“ I guess.”

“ It's no fun being in a company like this and not having people to hang around with. I saw you with Seth yesterday, you guys hang out?”

“ Not really. I know him from a while back. My boyfriend doesn't really like him.”

“ I get that, Jimmy can be a little protective too. But your boyfriend can't moan about you hanging out with a couple of girls now can he?”

“ I guess not.” Madison answered, although she knew that to be a lie, Benji would definitely have a problem with it.

As Madison ran off the rope, Naomi jumped and caught her perfectly with a rear view. Madison stayed down and took the pin, she had really enjoyed that impromptu match.

“ Your ass is lethal.” Madison smiled as Naomi helped her up.

“ That's what I tell her every single night.” Jimmy Uso appeared through the door, making all three women laugh.

“ Hey Madison, you wanna grab some lunch with us?”

“ Yeah, actually, I'd love to.”

Maybe having some girl friends on the roster would be a good thing, and perhaps Benji didn't need to know. A pang of guilt reverberated in Madison's chest, but she tried to ignore it.

“ Hey, guess who I just bumped into.” Jey arrived through the door next, followed by Seth and Dean. Madison's eyes darted around in a panic, but Roman didn't join them. “ Okay if these boys crash lunch?”

“ The more the merrier.” His twin answered.

“ We're gonna shower, we'll meet you guys there.”

The three girls headed to the locker room to shower quickly before heading out to the car.

When they arrived at the diner the boys were already seated in a large booth, they shuffled around to let the girls in, and Madison ended up sitting between Dean and Seth. They ordered their food and drinks and chatted as they waited for them to arrive.

“ No Roman guys? I thought you three were joined at the hips.” Cameron teased.

“ He's with the family. Him and wifey need some alone time, then they're picking up Olivia later.” Dean smiled.

Madison felt another wave of guilt wash over her, she assumed Roman had a girlfriend, he was too hot not to, but a wife? That was worse. And a kid too, that just made her feel even more like a whore. Madison felt her phone vibrate with a text;

_Is everything okay? You ran off pretty quick yesterday_

The number that came up was the same one that Seth had called her off earlier in the day, so she knew that it was Roman who had sent it. She quickly put her phone away in her pocket and ignored the message. 

She couldn't think about Roman, especially that he was with is family but had decided to text to make sure she was alright, that was messed up.

When everyone else was in a heated discussion about what flavour sauce was best with French fries, Seth leaned over to Madison and spoke quietly in her ear.

“ I'm glad you decided to come out with everyone.” He said softly.

“ Me too, I'm having fun.” And she really was.

“ Good, you deserve it.”

“ No I don't.” She laughed morbidly.

“ Why not?”

“ Nevermind, forget it.”

“ Okay, I'm sorry about earlier, on the phone.”

“ Forget about it, it's fine.” She said and he pressed his lips against the side of her head.

“ Get a room you two!” Dean reached over Madison to slap Seth around the head.

They spent the afternoon having silly conversations and generally just having a good time. For the first time in her life Madison knew what it felt like to be surrounded by friends, and she wanted more of it. It felt good to have these happy, positive people around her.

* * *

The weekend was spent appearing at house shows and doing a couple of interviews and meet and greets. Madison managed to spend some more time with Naomi and Cameron, which she was happy about. 

She felt bad for lying to Benji, but she knew she could make it up to him when she saw him next. She had managed to avoid Roman, as he was on a different house show circuit, but that also meant she hadn't seen Dean or Seth, as they were on the same one as Roman.

When Monday night Raw came around though, she knew she would have to see him. Luckily he was too busy with promos and a Make-A-Wish meeting to try and talk to her, but she caught him a couple of times watching her, licking his lips hungrily. It made her feel desired, which was something she was not used to.

“ Hey Maddy, Jimmy and I were thinking of having a little get together at our place on Wednesday, you interested?” Naomi brought her out of her thoughts.

“ Erm, sure. How little is little?” Madison was still uncomfortable around large groups.

“ I dunno, about ten I guess. Us three, the twins, Foxy, Paige, and the Shield guys, if they wanna join.”

“ You know they'd kill you if they knew you still called them the Shield guys?” Cameron pointed out.

“ Well, then they'll never know.” She winked.

“ Cool, I'll be there.”

Madison was heading towards make-up when Seth spotted her.

“ Jimmy just said there's a party, you going?”

“ I told Nae that I would.”

“ Make sure to bring your swimsuit.” He grinned.

“ Hang on, it's a pool party?” Seth must have noticed the look of unease on his friend's face, as he placed his arm around her shoulder. “ Maybe I'll pass.”

“ Look Maddy, you should come and have some fun. Benji doesn't have to find out. You deserve some time to unwind after the shows.”

“ Fine, I'll come.”

She was really looking forward to the party, and it's not like she had to wear just a bikini, she could wear a cover-all over it. 

Madison still felt uneasy as it just added to the things that she was keeping from Benji. He was her boyfriend, her love, and it felt like she was keeping more of her life a secret from him now that she was telling him the truth.

* * *

Madison arrived back to the hotel late, she had been having a meeting with creative that had run way over. It was almost one when she pressed the button for the elevator to take her up to her room on the sixth floor.

Roman was heading back from the hotel gym in the basement. He had tried to go to sleep early tonight, but the argument he had had with Kayla kept running through his mind, maybe this was really it for them. 

It frustrated the hell out of him that she couldn't see that he was doing all this for her, for their future. All the time he spent away from home was for them in the long run, everything he did. 

Well, not everything. There was one thing that he did just for himself, and he couldn't stop thinking about it. 

He thought back to the first time he had fucked Madison, the mysterious, enchanting friend of Seth's. He had been so frustrated, both sexually and mentally, and when she had bent over in front of him he hadn't been able to help himself. 

Then the second time, he really had been just trying to stop her getting into a fight at work, but when she had pushed that perfect ass back into him, he was lost. 

He had managed to keep thoughts of her at bay while he was home on his days off, well mostly. But seeing her today just made him keep reliving those memories over and over. 

He knew he should feel more guilty than he was, and he had the first time, but those feelings were getting less and less. Plus, he was pretty much a free man now, well, not really, but it sure seemed to be heading that way, and Seth did say that her boyfriend was a douche.

As he thought about the newest Diva, a smirk played on his lips. He wanted to go back to his room so he could think about her pretty face while he got himself off. 

The elevator stopped at ground floor level and he groaned at the delay, until the doors opened that was, and the object of all his dirty thoughts stood right before him.

Madison's body tensed, seeing the Samoan in front of her here was not what she had expected. She hesitantly made her way into the elevator and made sure to stand a respectable distance from him. 

Roman could see all the muscles in her body respond to his mere presence and it unleashed something primal inside of him. 

Once the lift was moving again, he shot forward and slammed his hand down on the emergency stop button. Madison's head spun to the side to look at him, and her breath caught in her throat at the look of pure lust that she saw in his eyes.

As he stepped towards her, she turned to ensure her back was to him. He wrapped his right arm around her waist and used the left to move her hair around to her left shoulder before groping her ass. He attached his lips to her neck, licking and sucking, but making sure he didn't leave any marks, that was the last thing she needed. He heard her moan and arch into his touch.

Madison couldn't help the noise she made when his mouth landed on her neck, it was the first time his lips had made contact with her skin and it drove her wild. She felt his hand undo the button at the front of her jeans and before long she was pushing them down, trying to rid herself of them completely. 

Once again, her bold actions surprised herself. The look that Madison had seen in Roman's eyes had done something to her, connected somewhere deep inside her, to some animal part of her, and she wanted him inside of her now. 

It seemed that Roman was in the same sort of rush, his pelvis rutting against her as he shook off his shorts. He pushed one finger into her already dripping core, groaning appreciatively as the warm wetness engulfed his digit. He pulled it out and sucked it clean.

“ God, you taste so sweet, so perfect.”

Madison could only moan in response, that was the hottest thing she had ever seen or heard.

“ I saw you watching me at the show, I know you want me Madison.” His voice was deep and guttural, he didn't even know where these words were coming from.

“ Yes.” Was all she said before he lifted her up and eased his cock into her.

He thrust into her hard and fast, wanting to satisfy his animal urges and she didn't seem to be complaining. It didn't take long before they both felt close to the end. Madison grabbed on to the hand rail hard enough for her knuckles to turn white as she crashed over the edge, her climax rolling over her in waves. 

Roman moved his right hand from her hip and brought it up under her top to trace the line of her scar as he finished, he loved touching this intimate part of her.

Once they had both straightened their clothes out, they stood back in their original positions and Roman pressed the button again so that the lift kicked back in. Neither one of them said anything to the other as the lift reached the sixth floor and Madison got out, unable to even meet Roman's eyes as she did. He stayed in the lift for one more floor before he got out and headed to bed.

* * *

Madison shut the door quickly behind her and collapsed back onto it. Her breathing was fast and heavy and her heart felt like it was hammering out of her chest. An overwhelming sense of nausea came over her and she headed to the toilet, but nothing came up when she heaved. 

She didn't know what was happening to her. 

The sound of her phone ring tone cut through her panic and she looked at the screen; Benji. On seeing his name a new wave of panic washed over her and she could feel her whole body starting to sweat and shake. 

She couldn't answer, she could barely breath. 

She sat on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest and tucked her head between them, trying to slow down her breathing as she did. Finally she realised that she was having a panic attack, the realisation seemed to make her feel a little better and she finally managed to get her breathing under control and her heartbeat seemed to even itself out. 

Her phone rang again and she took a deep breath before answering it.

“ Hel . . .”

“ The fuck do you get off ignoring my calls?!” An angry Benji cut her off.

“ Benj, I'm sorry, I was in the shower. I jumped straight out but I just missed it, I wasn't ignoring you.”

“ You better not have been! I was just letting you know that I was gonna come see you this week, probably Friday. But maybe if you're gonna not pick up my calls I shouldn't.”

“ No, Benji. Please come. I miss you.” She pleaded, almost begging.

Madison was glad that Benji was coming, with him here she would actually be able to behave herself and stop acting like she had been doing while he had been gone. She needed him around to control her.

“ Okay, but you better be real good for me Maddy.”

“ I will baby, I promise.”

“ Good. Now get some sleep.”

“ Okay, I love you.”

“ You better.” He ended the call.

Madison got undressed and headed to bed, trying to push away thoughts of what had happened in the elevator and think instead about having Benji around again, so she could stop feeling out of control. 

That was absolutely the last time that she could let anything happen between her and Roman, it couldn't carry on.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, there is some pretty graphic domestic violence in this, so be warned

Wednesday came around quickly and Madison had spent the morning at the gym, she hadn't needed to be at the Smackdown taping yesterday as she didn't have a match, which meant that she hadn't had to see Roman, which she was entirely happy about. 

The weather was beautiful outside and she was content with doing chores that she needed to catch up on, such as her laundry. There wasn't much in her apartment, she had only been at NXT for four weeks, so she didn't have much cleaning or anything to do. 

As she folded away her clothes her phone rang, she saw it was Cameron.

“ Hey Boo. How you doin'?”

“ Hi Cam, I'm good, you?”

“ Yeah. I was wondering if you wanted me to come pick you up to go to Nae's? I'm staying there so it saves you having to drive.”

Madison had forgotten all about the party. She didn't really think she should go, because she needed to try and follow Benji's instructions of keeping away from the bad influence of the other Superstars and Divas. 

On the other hand, she really wanted to; the couple of times that she had hung around with Naomi, Cameron and the others, she had had more fun than she had had since her parents had died. 

She felt like she could be once again part of some kind of family, if only she let herself be. And that is what scared her most. 

Benji had been by her side through thick and thin, and she was betraying him in so many ways. Not only was she directly disobeying him by making friends with Naomi and Cameron, but he had also specifically told her to stay away from Seth, and she couldn't even begin to think about the betrayal of having sex with Roman.

“ Madison? You still there?”

“ Erm, yeah, sorry. Kinda spaced out there.”

“ Okay. Well, I'll be at your house in a half hour. Bye Boo.”

Well, that was that, she had to go now. She knew she could have put up more of a fight, said she wasn't feeling well, but deep down, she hadn't wanted to. 

She walked to her bedroom and rooted out her only bathing suit, she had never worn it, but she had bought it about a year ago when she had seen it in a shop window. She never went swimming, mainly because she didn't want people to see her scar, but she had loved the deep purple colour of the swimsuit and couldn't help but buy it. 

She undressed and slipped it on along with the black crochet cover up she had bought at the same time. She didn't have a full length mirror in her apartment, as she never liked the reflection looking back at her, so she didn't see how she looked. She went over to her bathroom mirror and applied light, waterproof make-up. 

Before she knew it Cameron was ringing the buzzer.

“ Ooh girl, you look good.” She smiled as Madison made her way out.

“ Not half as good as you.” 

They made their way to Naomi and Jimmy's house and it looked as though they were the last to arrive, judging by the cars in the driveway. Cameron led Madison through the gates at the back of the house where they could already hear a lot of laughter. 

As they entered the back yard they saw the Usos , Roman, Dean and Seth playing some form of water polo, that basically seemed to be them just messing around and trying to dunk each other under, and Naomi, Alicia Fox and Paige bringing out drinks and a bowl of salad.

“ Hi girlies.” Cameron greeted and hugged everyone.

“ Hey Cam, Madison.” Everyone also hugged Madison, she was kind of getting used to hugs now.

The guys seemed to have finished their game and the twins headed over to the outdoor grill to get it fired up. The other three made their way over to the women. They all said hello and then Seth pulled Madison into a huge bear hug.

“ I'm so glad you came Maddy.” He whispered into her ear and she couldn't help but smile.

“ Hey, put her down, you don't know where she's been.” Dean laughed and Madison half scowled at him. “ Don't I get a hug?” He pouted.

Madison laughed as Dean pulled her into his chest. She chanced a look over to Roman, who was making his way over to his cousins. She was glad, as she thought that hugging him would probably be too awkward.

Dean headed inside to get more beers and Naomi, Cameron, Paige and Fox decided they wanted to go in the pool, but Madison didn't. She sat down on one of the recliners at poolside, and Seth sat on the one next to her. Madison was quiet, she already felt uneasy about being here, like something bad was going to happen, but she tried to push these feelings away. She flinched slightly when she felt Seth take her hand in his.

“ Hey, Maddy, don't look so worried.”

“ I'm not worried.” She answered defensively.

“ I can tell.”

“ Well, maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do. You know, six years is a long time.” 

She didn't really know why she was being hostile to Seth, all she really wanted to do was go back to how close they had been for that short time at ROH, but she already felt so bad about everything else going on in her life that she couldn't let herself get what she wanted.

“ I guess I deserve that.” He sounded hurt. “ We never did get a chance to catch up, but I want to apologise for turning my back on you back then. I should have supported you, hell, I should have noticed something was wrong in the first place.”

“ Nothing was wrong, I was fine. And I don't blame you for ditching me, I'd have ditched me too if I was you.”

“ Don't say that Mads, I should have been a better friend. But now I got another chance, if you let me, and I don't plan on letting you down again.”

Madison could feel herself getting choked up, she didn't deserve for someone to be this nice to her, no one had ever said such sweet things to her before. She couldn't think of any way to respond, so she just squeezed his hand in hers, and when she felt him squeeze back, she knew he understood.

* * *

They spent the afternoon eating, talking and generally having a good time. The only time Madison had ventured into the pool was when they had been playing chicken fight and her and Seth had been victorious. Madison was in the kitchen getting her and Seth another drink, when she heard the door behind her open.

“ You look beautiful.” That voice, smooth as silk and rich as chocolate floated to her ears.

Madison froze in front of the refrigerator where she was standing, unable to move. Roman came up behind her and ran his finger up the back of her thigh and rested his palm on her ass. Her whole body shivered at his touch.

“ Any more beers?” They heard Dean's voice approach the open doors at the back of the kitchen. Roman removed his hand and reached over her to take two beers out of the fridge just as the other man entered the room.

“ Here you go dude.” Roman passed Dean one of the beers and they headed back outside

* * *

A little while later Madison was relaxing on a sun lounger, her eyes closed and the sun warming her skin deliciously. What she didn't notice was the look that passed between Seth, Dean and Roman. She felt someone stood close to her and opened her eyes. 

When she noticed Seth and Dean stood at either side of her she was slightly confused, that was until they grabbed her up from the chair and hoisted her onto the shoulders of a waiting Roman. She all too soon realised what was happening as Roman turned to face the pool. 

What she was not expecting was to feel Roman's tongue sneak out of his mouth and lap at her bikini bottoms. She had to suppress the moan that wanted to escape her mouth as she felt his hot breath through the thin material. 

She felt Seth and Dean place one hand each on her stomach and she braced herself for the fall. The fall she was expecting didn't come, as instead of letting her go when they triple power-bombed her, they actually all jumped into the pool with her, Madison held her breath as they submerged. 

Roman kept a grip around her waist to ensure she made it back to the surface okay, just in case she had been winded by the impact.

“ You complete assholes!” She shouted when they resurfaced, although the grin on her face betrayed her lack of anger.

“ It was just too tempting.” Dean grinned back at her as he helped her out of the pool.

Madison realised that she was having the best afternoon she could remember and she felt sad that when Benji returned on Friday it all had to be over. She grabbed a towel and headed inside to check her phone, Seth followed her in.

“ We didn't hurt you did we?” He placed his hand on her shoulder.

“ No, of course not.”

“ Good. I love having you around again Maddy, like old times.”

Madison was about to answer when she read the text that had just arrived on her phone.

_Just landed. Are you at your place or the performance centre? I'll come to you._

“ Fuck.” She exclaimed.

“ What's up?” Seth's voice had a worried tone.

“ Benji's at the airport. He wasn't meant to be coming until Friday.” Madison could feel the panic rising as her heart dropped in her chest.

“ Just tell him you're out with friends. Just don't mention that I'm here.”

“ It's not that simple Seth. I need to get home, now.” She was breathing erratically.

“ Okay, calm down, I'll take you.”

Seth went outside to the others and told them that Madison wasn't feeling well so he was going to take her home. When he returned to the kitchen he found Madison leant against the counter, looking pale and shaking.

“ Maddy? Is everything okay? Come on, I'll get you into the car.” He put his arm around her back and guided her out of the house and into his car.

The drive back was a short one, Madison text Benji back telling him she was at home. She saw Seth keep giving her sideways glances, a look of worry in his beautiful chocolate eyes. 

As they pulled up outside her apartment block she looked around frantically but couldn't see any extra cars around the place.

“ Madison, talk to me. What's the matter?”

“ Nothing, I'm fine.”

“ Look, I know the guys a douche, but if you're this freaked out then you need to talk to me. Why isn't it as simple as telling him you were out with friends?”

“ It just isn't Seth, please drop it.” She reached for the door handle, but Seth grabbed her wrist, his hold was gentle, not intending to hurt her.

“ Madison, does he hurt you?” The concern in her co-workers eyes, her friends eyes, tugged at her heart

“ No, God, why would you even say that?”

“ Because you're completely freaking the fuck out.”

“ He's just protective, he doesn't know any of those guys, that's all.”

“ Maddy, I'm here for you, if you need anything at all.”

“ Seth, you have to go, if Benji sees you here . . .”

“ I know. I'll see you on Monday I guess.” They were once again not on the same house shows this week.

“ Yeah, bye. And thanks for the ride.”

Seth watched her head into the building, the sense of worry not leaving him. But if Madison said she was okay, then he had to believe her. She had a fierce temper that he had been on the receiving end of once or twice and he hoped that if she did need him she would tell him.

* * *

Once Madison was inside she began freaking out again. She tore off the clothes she had been wearing, shoved them inside her gym bag and stuffed it under the bed. She then headed into the shower to get rid of the smell of chlorine from the pool and to try and gain some composure. 

As the water washed over her she did feel a little calmer, she washed her hair thoroughly and scrubbed at her body to ensure every trace of the pool was gone from her skin. As she was drying herself she heard a key turn in the lock and footsteps entering the apartment.

“ I'm in the bedroom.” She called and heard him approach.

“ Right where I wanted you.” He smiled as he looked over at her. “ Come here.”

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, Madison was thrilled. His arms wrapped around her and she melted into his embrace, it was so long since he had kissed her like this. She didn't dare open her mouth and question what had brought this on, in case it broke the spell.

“ I've been neglecting you recently, I just had a few things to sort out, but now I can be here, with my best girl. You want that right?” His voice was softer than usual.

“ More than anything.” She replied, this was the Benji that she had been missing and now he was here, she felt so stupid for wanting to be a part of some other little family unit, this was all the family she needed right here.

“ Good. Now how about you get onto that bed and I'll make it up to you.”

Madison was beyond excited, she crawled onto the bed and lay down on her back, she wanted nothing more than to watch him as he made love to her. She smiled up at him and let the towel she was wearing part at her legs, but making sure her top half was still covered so that her scar was not on show.

“ Nah, come on baby, you know how I like it.” He said and pushed on her thigh so that she rolled over onto all fours.

Madison was disappointed, but she knew she didn't deserve the chance to watch him while he was inside of her, he had never let her have that privilege. 

She swallowed her disappointment and tried to enjoy herself anyway, she needed to make it up to Benji for everything she had done while he had been gone, even if he didn't realise it. 

She made sure she was more vocal than usual, telling him how good he was. She closed her eyes as he dug his fingertips into her hips, but a flash of Roman's face entered her vision, she thought of the sensation when he had run his tongue along her bikini earlier in the day, and from then on she didn't dare close her eyes.

Once Benji was finished he decided he wanted to take her out for dinner and drinks, which excited her, it wasn't often that he wanted to show her off in public. He even held her hand as they walked into the restaurant and Madison felt so happy in that moment, maybe everything was going to change for the better. 

They enjoyed good steak and wine and then they headed to a night club. 

Once they had danced for a while they headed to the back and sat down in a booth and chatted, it was so long since they had made the time to just talk that Madison was in pure bliss. 

As they got up to leave Madison heard the notification tone go off on Benji's phone, she stopped walking so that he could check it. He slid the lock screen to the side and brought up the notification, Madison couldn't see what it was. 

She watched Benji's face as he looked at it and as she saw the muscles in his jaw tense she began to worry. The last thing she wanted was for him to be called away on business and ruin this perfect evening. He looked up at her and she saw his eyes darken with rage and her heartbeat sped up.

“ What did you say you were doing today Mads?” He demanded.

“ Erm, washing, cleaning, that sort of thing.” She stuttered, panic rising.

“ Then how the fuck do you explain THIS?!” He all but shouted.

He held the phone up to her and she saw it was on her Twitter account, Benji had her account linked to his phone so that he could see what she posted, which was only ever things that the company told her to. 

This however, was not something she had posted, but something she had been tagged in. The caption that Cameron had tweeted read _'@WWEUsos @NaomiWWE @WWERollins @MadisonWWE fun family times'_ and underneath was a picture from the chicken fight game, specifically where she and Seth had been against Jimmy and Naomi in the final, the smiles on the four of their faces were wide. 

She saw Seth's hands gripping onto her thighs and she felt sick. She looked up at Benji whose rage filled face was still staring at her, demanding an answer.

“ Well?!”

“ I . . . I . . .”

“ Spit it out Madison, I'd love to hear it.” He put the phone back in his pocket and grabbed a fistful of Madison's silky brown hair before backing her into the wall. She could feel tears burning at the corner of her eyes, but she couldn't make any words come out of her mouth, how could she even explain this.

“ Come on Madison, explain to me why there is a photo of you with those whoreish legs wrapped around the head of that arrogant asshole that I told you to keep away from.”

His hand twisted at the back of her head, making it feel as though the hair was going to rip out. His other hand came up around her throat and squeezed slightly. She looked around frantically, but no one seemed to have noticed the little scene, they were all too busy dancing and having fun. 

Madison was scared now, she could feel her air supply getting cut off and she knew that she couldn't scream if she tried.

“ Family fun time? What's that all about? This your family Madison? Cause last time I checked, any family you had got ripped to pieces in that boat crash. You don't have any family Madison, you're all alone.”

“ Benji, I'm sorry.” She managed to squeak out.

Her brain was working in over drive, she had never seen him this pissed off at her before, but then again she had never done anything so against what he wanted before. She hadn't even seen Cameron take the photo, she would have made her delete it if she had known. 

She tried to calm her breathing down so that her brain would start functioning properly and she could think of a way out of this; but it was hard to breath properly with his hand wrapped around her throat.

“ You're sorry? You're fucking sorry? That all you got?”

She managed to nod her head slightly, no words would get her out of this mess. She felt his hand move from her throat and she gasped a breath in. She then felt the sharp sting to her cheek as his hand slapped harshly against her flesh. He brought his face up to hers and whispered in her ear.

“ Let's get home so that I can deal with you properly.” He hissed.

His hand grasped her around the wrist and he half twisted it up her back as he pushed her forward towards the exit. To onlookers it might seem as though he was just holding on to her as they found their way through the crowd of bodies, but the sharp pain in Madison's wrist as it was twisted told the real story.

The drive home was silent, tears running down Madison's face as she resigned herself to the fact that this was all her fault, how did she think that she was going to get away with her behaviour? 

She knew that she deserved whatever she had coming to her, but that didn't stop her from being terrified. She hadn't been lying earlier when she had told Seth that he didn't hit her, he had pulled on her hair a few times or twisted her arm when she was misbehaving, but he had very rarely actually hit her before. 

She could feel the anger emanating from his skin and she knew that this time she had pushed him to far.

As soon as they were in the house he pushed her hard against the door, her back hitting the door handle, which sent a wave of nausea over her. He grabbed her upper arms in his hands, his fingertips digging into the soft flesh as he put his face directly in front of hers.

“ What did I do to deserve a little slut like you, huh? Am I a bad guy? Do I not give you everything you need? You needed to go crawling to that ass hole Tyler, he never cared about you, he ditched you as soon as you got suspended, didn't want you to taint his career. That's all you are Madison, a taint, a disease, a whore! Are you going to deny it?” Droplets of spit flew from his mouth and landed all over her face as he shouted.

“ No.” She whispered.

“ Good. You're nothing but a dirty slut. You know that right?”

“ Yes.” 

He smirked at her answer before throwing her against the couch, her side hitting it full force, knocking the air out of her.

“ Tell me why I should waste my time on you Madison. Nine years of my life I have wasted on you, why should I carry on?”

“ Because I love you. Because I can be better.” She pleaded.

“ You can be better, huh?” His boot collided with her stomach, the pain shot through her, but she didn't have much time to recover before he grabbed her hair again and pulled her to her feet. 

Madison knew that she could at least try and fight back, but she didn't want to, she wanted to be punished for what she had done.

“ You think it's okay to make a fool of me Madison? Your little friend has posted that photo for all the world to see, my girl with her legs around another man. You wanted to make me look like an idiot?”

“ No, I'm sorry Benji.”

“ Sorry doesn't cut it Madison. I'm a proud man, I don't share what's mine. Are you mine, or are you Tyler's?”

“ I'm yours, only yours.” She couldn't think about the irony in those words, she hadn't been only his when Roman had been buried inside of her.

“ Damn right Madison. Now show me.”

He pushed her down onto the floor once more and unzipped his jeans. 

Madison had pain everywhere; her head where it felt like her hair had been pulled out by the roots, her face where he had slapped her, her wrist where it had been twisted, her back where she had hit against the door handle, her side where it had collided against the couch, and her stomach most of all, where he had impacted with his boot. 

Despite all this, she didn't hesitate to pull down her underwear as she felt him kneel behind her.

He grabbed her hips in his hands, the nails digging in as he forced his cock inside of her, despite the lack of lubrication. Madison cried silently as he pounded into her with more force than he had ever done before, claiming her as his. 

She knew that his nails were drawing blood, but she kept quiet, she thought that that was probably the best line of action. She hated herself for being stupid enough to go to Naomi's get together today, she knew she shouldn't have. Now she was paying the price, and she deserved it.


	7. Chapter 7

Madison didn't go to any of the house shows that weekend, she told the bosses that she wasn't well. She spent the whole weekend making it up to Benji, who seemed to have forgiven her at least a little. 

The next morning she had been sore and he had apologised for hurting her, but told her that she knew why he had to do it. She had promised that from now on she would behave herself. 

Seth had sent her a couple of texts asking if she was alright, but she had managed to delete them before Benji had checked her phone.  
Monday came around and Madison knew she couldn't hide forever, she needed to get back to work. Benji allowed her to go, but he said from now on he went wherever she went. 

Before they went she removed the mirror from the bathroom wall and inspected her body, the only bruises that couldn't be hidden by her ring gear were the finger marks on her upper arms and around her neck. Luckily the marks had faded over the last four days, but they were still visible. She hid them as best she could with make-up, she knew she could get some arm bands from the costume ladies to help her better hide the ones on her arms.

When they got to the arena Madison tried to find an empty room where she could change, as Benji wouldn't be able to go into the women's locker room. As she turned a corner she saw Seth and froze. He opened his mouth to say something but as he did, Benji walked around her corner.

“ Go on Tyler, spit it out.” Benji's sarcastic voice broke the silence.

Seth gave him a hostile look.

“ I don't need your permission to speak.” He spat and Madison pleaded with him with her eyes to be quiet. “ You okay Maddy?”

“ Yes, better than ever.” She said, trying to keep a bright smile on he face.

“ You sure?” He seemed wary.

“ Of course. Benji's here now. That's all I need.”

“ You heard her Tyler, keep away. I told you once before not to go sniffing around her and you didn't listen. Now she's telling you.”

“ Is that what you want Maddy?” His brown eyes looked so hurt and confused and it almost broke Madison's heart.

“ Yes Seth. That's what I want.”

Madison and Benji carried on down the corridor as Seth just watched them. He didn't believe Madison when she said everything was fine, she had seemed so much happier than he had ever seen her yesterday and her reaction when Benji had text was strange. He wished he could get her alone to talk, but he had a feeling that Benji wouldn't let that happen anytime soon. He knew he could probably take Benji in a fight, but he also knew that Madison would be angry at him if he did, and also he had a feeling that Benji knew some dangerous people.

* * *

For the next two weeks things carried on in a similar vein, Benji accompanied Madison to all the shows and any other appearances she was obliged to make. She felt safe like this, she knew what to do because Benji told her what to do, like it had always been. It was when she was allowed to make her own decisions that things went wrong.

Seth, Dean and Roman were all worried about Madison, but she had seemed happy enough when they had seen her around with Benji, so they hadn't gotten involved. Naomi and Cameron were also worried about their friend, especially when they noticed she wasn't her usual self during matches, she seemed more stiff and slower, as if she was fighting through an injury. They hadn't been able to ask her about it though, they hadn't managed to get her on her own. When they had tried talking during matches she had always stayed quiet, only speaking when she was directing a spot.

Roman couldn't stop thinking about Madison, he actually found himself missing their little rendezvous'. He was intrigued by her and found himself thinking about her almost constantly, which he found unnerving. The only time he wasn't thinking about her was when he was at home with Kayla and Olivia, his little girl took up all of this thoughts at those times. He even found himself and Kayla getting on a little better, when Olivia was around, but when she went home to her Mother's then Kayla seemed to be distant again. Roman tried not to pry too much, as he didn't want another argument. They still had a healthy sex life, although he worried himself a little when he was making love to his wife and his hand wandered up to run a line across her right side, and he realised his fingers were reaching for Madison's scar.

* * *

Madison and Benji were in her hotel room before they headed to the arena for the Smackdown taping. Benji had just been on his phone and when he hung up he looked annoyed, Madison placed her hand on his forearm.

“ What is it baby?” She asked softly.

“ I gotta head back to Pittsburgh.”

“ What? When?”

“ Pretty much now.”

“ Why?”

“ Something's come up.”

“ I don't want you to go.” She whined.

“ I know, but I have to. Now, can I trust you while I'm gone?” His glare was hard.

“ Of course. I promise.”

“ Good, because if I hear about anything, I don't know what I could end up doing. The last thing I wanna do is hurt you Maddy, but if you betray me again, I might not be able to stop myself.”

Madison nodded, understanding fully what he meant. She really didn't want him to go, the last two weeks had been so nice and now she would be alone. She watched with sorrow as Benji packed up his bag and they walked down to the lobby hand in hand. As he jumped into a taxi he kissed her before saying goodbye and heading off to the airport.

* * *

Later that night, after her match, Madison was sitting in catering, away from everyone else on a table of her own. There were a few other people there, but no one had tried to talk to her since she had arrived at the arena, which made her both happy and sad. She had yet to see any of her 'friends', if she could even call them that anymore; but she didn't think that their reactions would be any different. She had effectively alienated herself from the whole roster over the past fortnight, but that was a good thing, yeah, a good thing. 

The only contact she had had with anyone except Benji was the road agents and the other girls during their matches, but even then she wasn't engaging with the situation. Despite the fact that she had to see this as a good thing, she couldn't help the feeling of nagging emptiness she felt now that Benji had gone.

She played with the food on her plate with her fork, not bothering to eat any. Her mind was elsewhere, it always was these days. She couldn't focus too much on what was going on around her, especially when any of her former friends were around, luckily they hadn't been in catering when she arrived. She had had to cut herself off from her feelings for them, especially Seth, Dean and Roman who she had enjoyed spending time with most.

“ Brooding in dark corners is kinda my thing.” She heard the smirk in his voice rather than saw it, as she didn't look up from the table.

“ Yeah.” She agreed, her voice dull and lacking any of her usual vitality.

“ What's up? Not gonna call me an asshole?”

Dean and Madison's relationship had become one of teasing and name calling, but she felt too awkward in this moment to even laugh. She had barely even made eye contact with him, or any of her supposed friends in two weeks, so she didn't understand how his tone could be so casual.

“ Nah.” Was all she replied.

She didn't notice Dean wave off the approaching Seth and Roman; he could tell that she wouldn't be able to handle all three of them confronting her, he didn't even think that she was really coping with just him.

“ What's that broccoli ever done to you?” He tried again.

Dean watched as Madison focused her eyes on the piece of veg that she was squishing with her fork. She finally looked up at him, the ghost of a smile on her lips as she took in his grin.

“ That's better, that's more like the Madison . . . hey, wait, what's your second name?” It dawned on him that he only knew her by her first name.

“ Maxwell.”

“ Madison Maxwell.” He tested the name on his tongue, before his face broke into an even wider smile. “ No fucking way!”

“ What?” She asked, although she suspected she already knew the answer.

“ You're Mad Max! That's hilarious! That's legit your real name?”

“ Since I was born.” She smiled softly.

“ You look better when you smile.” Dean mentally kicked himself as he saw the sad, faraway look return to her face and her gaze return to the table.

“ Seth and Roman are probably wondering where you've got to.” She said, her voice cold.

She obviously hadn't looked around, Dean thought, as the aforementioned men were sat halfway across the room sending nervous glances their way.

“ Nah, they can handle an hour without me.” 

He soon realised that light humour wasn't going to be the way to go, and although it felt unfamiliar to him, he leaned across the table and placed his hand over hers. Her eyes flicked up to his immediately and her brows knitted together in confusion.

“ What? You gonna ask me on a date Ambrose? What's with the hand holding?” A genuine smirk finally crossed her lips.

“ You're such a bitch! Here's me trying to be nice, against my better nature, and you call me out on it!” He laughed.

“ Stop trying to be nice to me.” She sighed, and Dean heard the silent I don't deserve it tagged on to the end, he'd heard it before enough times on his own voice.

“ Wanna take a walk with me?”

“ Dean, I can't.”

“ What? Your legs broke?”

“ Dean.” The way her voice was almost pleading with him made an anger burn in his chest, anger at the guy who made her feel she had to plead for him to not talk to her.

“ Look Mad Max, I'm just gonna follow you around all day if you don't.” 

She breathed out a loud sigh before getting up, her chair scraping loudly across the tiled floor. They walked out of the room and Madison felt dozens of pairs of eyes on her, her skin prickled at the thought.

“ Why do I feel like I'm some school girl on her way to the Principals office?”

“ Hey, if you wanna dress up, then I'm all for playing Head Master. I'll get my cane.” He ducked Madison's hand as it flew forward to hit him. “ Sorry, sorry, only kidding.”

They walked down a deserted corridor, the silence between them edging just on this side of awkward. Dean didn't quite know what to say, he just wanted things to go back to normal, he felt like he had to be the one to sort it, as Seth was too emotional over Madison, the little sister he thought he had lost once before, and he felt Roman hadn't spent as much time with her as he had. Madison also didn't know what to say, she wanted nothing more than to ease back into her friendship with Dean, enjoying their banter, but she knew that she had to follow Benji's rules this time.

“ So, you get the short straw?”

“ What do you mean?” He eyed her suspiciously.

“ For the 'find out what the fuck's up with Madison recon mission'?”

“ Something like that. So . . . what the fuck is up?”

“ Nothing. I just wanted to spend some quality time with my boyfriend, I hadn't seen him for over a week. What's so bad about that?” She snapped.

“ That's cool. So, he headed home now?”

“ Yeah.”

“ So, I guess that means you can come back to hanging out with us, now you've had your quality time?” He said the last two words with a hint of sarcasm.

“ Dean.” 

There was that pleading tone again, the one that said 'Dean please drop it', ' Dean please stop pushing', but he didn't want to.

“ Nah Maddy, we all care about you. If something's up, then you gotta tell me.”

“ Nothing's up Dean. I just want to keep my head down and get on with my job.”

“ You need friends Madison!” His voice raised slightly above normal speaking, but not quite a shout.

“ No Dean, I don't.”

She stalked off, leaving the former US champion staring after her.

“ Well, that went well.” He said out loud to himself as he saw her head to the parking ramp.

As he ran his hand through his unruly hair he watched his two best friends round the corner. They were chatting among themselves and had obviously seen Madison walk away from him.

“ So that didn't go as planned.”

“ What happened?” Seth asked, his voice sharp.

“ I guess I hit a nerve. She said there is no problem, she just wants to keep her head down and focus on wrestling, she doesn't need any friends apparently.”

“ Well, she's obviously just saying that.” Seth's hand pulled on his own hair slightly, a sure sign of his distress.

“ Look Seth, if she says she's okay, then she's okay. She's twenty five years old. And even if something is up, her boyfriend has gone home, you don't have to worry about him.” Dean put a reassuring hand on his friends' back.

“ Hey, if you want, I'll see if I can catch her later. I'm pretty sure her room is next to mine at the hotel.” Roman suggested, only partly because he wanted to help settle his friends' nerves, the other half just wanted to see her again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short smut-filled chapter, hope you guys enjoy!

When Roman got back to his room he took a quick shower and lay down on the bed to look through his emails and social media accounts. He hadn't heard any noise from the room next door, so assumed that she was out, or sleeping. 

As his eyes were getting heavy and drifting closed, a loud bang jolted him from his thoughts; a door being slammed with enough force to pull it from its hinges. He waited for any other noises, something being thrown across a room came next, followed by the sound of something heavy hitting the floor and several other bangs and crashes. 

He got up from where he had been comfortable on the bed and headed out of his door. Once he was in the hallway he saw that the door of the room next to his, the room he was pretty sure was Madison's, was ajar, probably popped back open when it was slammed. He pushed it open warily, the banging seemed to have stopped for now, but he was still cautious.

The room he entered was a mess; a gym bag had been thrown across the room, it's contents spilling out all over the place, the coffee table had been turned over, and several bottles of water seemed to have been launched at the wall. Madison was no where to be seen. 

He saw the door to the bathroom was slightly open also, and he could hear ragged breathing coming from the other side. He pushed the door and saw Madison, in her gym gear, hunched over the vanity, her back rising and falling heavily with her breaths. He could almost feel the sheer hot rage emanating from her, burning from every pore of her skin. 

She didn't even look up as he approached. He stood behind her and looked at her reflection in the mirror that was starting to steam up from merely the heat from her body.

“ Madison.” He whispered and placed a hand on her hip, he barely even dared speak, but felt he needed to get through to her somehow.

The noise that rose from her was half moan and half snarl and Roman began to rub his thumb in circles on her hip bone. He wasn't sure what was happening, she seemed to push back into his touch, but at the same time, her anger seemed to be telling him to go. Her head remained hunched over, her chin almost touching her breast bone as her hair fell in front of her face.

“ Madison, what's the matter?” He tried to reach her again, his thumb not stopping its calming motion.

“ Don't talk.” She answered, her voice a growl.

Madison didn't want to think, didn't want to talk, only wanted to feel. The conversation with Dean had angered her, not Dean himself, but the thought that despite how she had treated them, these people she barely knew cared about her. She wasn't sure why it enraged her so much, surely that should make her happy. But she knew that she would be denied that happiness, she deserved to be denied it, but that didn't stop her craving it. 

She had been okay when Benji was here, everyone had stayed away from her, just like she wanted, but she didn't have him as her safety guard now. She was fighting a battle inside of herself, two things she wanted, but they were impossible to have together, she had proved that already when Benji had found out about the pool party. 

Now, with Roman's hand rubbing on her hip, the sensation the only thing she could feel apart from the white hot ball of anger in her chest, she was starting another battle within herself. This was absolutely something she could not have, shouldn't even want, Benji was enough for her, he had always been enough, but now? Now she had had a taste of something so sweet, the way Roman made her feel was unlike anything else, a purely physical release. 

Sure, she liked Roman as a person, as a friend, but what had happened between them in secret, she didn't connect that in her brain to the friendship that had started to sprout between them. The feelings he elicited in her body, were incredible, when his hand would stroke over the sensitive, forbidden curve of her scarred flesh when he was just about to cum, her whole world could crumble.

His other hand brushing her hair away from the right side of her neck was the next thing to cut through her haze, and when his luscious lips caressed the skin of her throat she couldn't even suppress the moan that escaped her sinful mouth. She wanted to feel, and Roman could make her feel.

“ You need me to calm you down Madison?” The words he had spoken to her once before now crashed through the red barrier blocking her brain and she couldn't stop herself from giving in, even though she knew it was absolutely the last thing she should be doing.

“ Yes.” The word was barely formed in the breath that left her mouth, but Roman heard it and it cut through any hesitation he had.

His hands worked on pushing down her sweat pants, which she kicked off willingly from her feet, before he undid the buttons on his jeans and shoved them down his legs haphazardly. He teased her entrance with his finger, making sure she was dripping wet for him, he couldn't think about foreplay tonight, the animalistic state he had found her in had done away with all thoughts of savouring the moment, the masculine core of him needed to satisfy her need. After all, that's what they did, wasn't it? Each time they had been together one or both of them had been frustrated or angry at something; the first time he had been frustrated sexually, the second she had been angry at Eva Marie and the third he had been thinking about the argument he had had with his wife.

Madison lowered her chest onto the vanity top, her breasts pushing into the edge of the sink, but she didn't care at that moment, she pushed her ass up and gave it a slight wiggle, the growl it brought from Roman's lips was all she needed to hear. His hands once again sought out her hips as he plunged his length into her depths. 

Feeling him fill her up was everything she needed, and her tight heat clutching at his dick was what he needed.

They began moving together, Roman's cock brushing against her sweet spot every time he thrust in. His movements were hard and fast, but not rough, somehow he was still managing to be gentle with her even whilst attempting to fuck her through the sink. His hands travelled up and down her back as he moved, tracing lines under her shirt. 

She brought her hands back and dug her fingers into Roman's bare thighs, needing to feel him even closer, if it was at all possible. The feeling of her pulling on him, her need for him to be buried deep inside of her sparked something in Roman that had him chasing his release, but he wouldn't be done until he had satisfied her, he couldn't.

His hand wandered further up underneath her shirt, almost of it's own accord, and when it came to rest on that oh so secret of places, Madison felt herself start to come undone. 

When his fingers began to trace the line that only he had travelled, she came hard, her body racking with the force of her orgasm. As she arched her back into him, her body acting on its own, her eyes rose and somehow met his in the mirror, locking their gazes together. This is what sent Roman over the edge; he held Madison to him by her hips as he filled her. 

Madison's gaze immediately dropped back to the sink, how dare she look at him in this vulnerable state, if she had done that with Benji . . . but this wasn't Benji, and Roman had seemed to have liked it.

She immediately felt the guilt almost crushing her as he pulled out and pulled her sweat pants back up. She thought of how he always made sure she was covered before he worried about himself, but that made the guilt even worse. Benji had only left this afternoon, and already she had broken her promise to behave. She felt Roman's hand on her now-clothed hip and flinched away from his touch.

“ Could you please go?” She asked, no anger in her voice now, just slight sorrow, and Roman didn't know which one was worse.

He did what she asked and left her room, she couldn't even meet his eyes as he went. So much for talking to her, he thought. He had no idea what he would tell Seth in the morning.

When Roman had gone Madison dropped down to the cool tiles of the floor, the white hot flame in her chest had been extinguished and all she felt now was guilt and shame, all mixed up with an overwhelming feeling of being completely sated, which in turn made her feel more guilty. She forced her body to take her over to the bed and fell asleep almost immediately.


	9. Chapter 9

Madison awoke in the morning with a clearer head, she knew what she had to do. 

Her friends, especially Seth and Dean, thought that Benji was hurting her and she needed to set them straight, otherwise she was worried that one of them would run their mouths to the bosses, or worst of all, Benji himself. She knew it wouldn't be done with malice, or to jeopardise her career, they were just worried about her, but she needed to stop that. Benji hadn't meant to hurt her, she had just made him so angry, and she knew he wouldn't do it again.

Even though it should have been the start of their weekend, the majority of the roster were staying in South Carolina, as there was an event that night for the first look at the new WWE video game.

Madison quickly showered and dressed before heading down to breakfast. She spotted Seth and Roman sat at a table already eating. After she grabbed yogurt and fruit she headed to the coffee machine where she saw Dean pouring himself a cup.

“ Take your time jack ass, it's not like there's a queue.” She tried to sound as normal as she could, and was relieved when Dean let out a short laugh.

“ I'm gonna pour four more cups for that.” He smirked before looking around the room. “ Anyone for coffee?” He said loud enough for the couple of tables around him to hear.

“ Fuck you Ambrose.”

“ Welcome back Mad Max.” He chuckled.

“ Listen Dean, I'm sorry about yesterday.” Madison's voice became more serious.

“ Don't get all mushy on me.”

Dean picked up his own coffee and the one he had poured for Madison and headed over to Seth and Roman, he had obviously decided that she was joining them. As they were almost at the table Dean stuck his foot out in front of Madison, causing her to trip, her breakfast almost flying out of her hands before she steadied herself. She snapped her head around to look at him, she could feel the sudden tension fall over the three men, they weren't sure whether Dean had taken it a step too far. She furrowed her brow in anger.

“ I will fucking destroy you Ambrose!” She whispered menacingly and he burst into a hearty laugh.

“ I'd love to see you try.” He shot back as they slipped onto the two empty chairs.

As soon as they were seated, Seth lunged forward and wrapped his arms around the brunette, pulling her into his chest, her chair moving across the floor as he did so. He held her tight, almost crushing her.

“ I missed you Maddy.”

She wasn't sure how to answer, if it had been Dean, she would have hurled an insult at him, but this was Seth. She settled for tucking her face into his neck and just enjoying the closeness and the smell of him. When he finally released her she took a sip of her coffee.

“ So, what happened last night?”

Madison's eyes shot up to meet Dean's, an unreasonable fear that he somehow knew washed over her.

“ Huh?” Was all she managed to get out.

“ Roman managed to talk you round?”

How had he known she had been with Roman?

“ I, err, actually didn't get the chance to talk to her.” The Samoan stuttered.

And he wasn't really lying, he told himself; she had specifically told him not to talk. Madison was glad she hadn't had to answer, her mouth felt dry despite the coffee she was drinking.

“ Soooo, Jimmy and Jey have got us going to some carnival thing today, you should come.” Dean suggested.

“ I can't.” Madison replied, almost as a reflex.

“ What, you don't got permission?” Seth sounded like a bratty child.

Madison however, saw deeper into that statement, he was trying to confirm that Benji controlled her. She needed to shoot that theory down, even though she could get herself into a lot of trouble. She could handle Benji if he ever found out, she told herself; what she couldn't handle was the reaction if Seth told anyone else his theory.

“ Nah, I was gonna head to the gym, but on second thought, a day at the carnival sounds good.”

Seth's face lit up at that statement.

Once they had eaten they headed out to reception where Jimmy, Jey, Naomi and Cameron were waiting for them. Madison was worried about how the four of them would react to her being there, when she felt a light touch around her waist.

“ You're too tense, you need to relax, it'll be fine.” Roman's voice in her ear, his breath on her neck and his touch on her waist sent a shiver through her body.

She heard him let out a pleased chuckle as he felt her body respond to him, before his arm tensed around her. The group had stopped and Madison looked up to see a woman and child stood in front of them.

“ Kayla.” Roman said, his arm dropping to his side.

“ Daddy!” The little girl that was with 'Kayla' ran up and flung herself at Roman who caught her easily.

“ Olivia baby, hey, what're you doing here?”

“ I missed you Daddy.” She grinned up at him, showing the gaps in her teeth.

“ I missed you too angel.”

As Roman was holding onto his daughter, who now had her arms wrapped around his neck, he looked over to the woman who Madison could only assume was his wife. 

Madison took in the slim woman in front of them; her ebony hair flowing over her shoulders, her eyes deep brown and wide with thick black lashes, and her pouty, full lips. In a word, she was stunning. What the hell was Roman doing messing around with her when he had this gorgeous woman at home?

“ Roman, can we talk?” She said, a hint of sadness in her eyes.

A tension passed over the group, Roman squared his shoulders.

“ Hey Livvy, you wanna go to the fun fayre with me and Uncle Jimmy?” Naomi looked over at the little girl.

“ Are you going too Uncle Jey?”

“ Yeah sweetie, we're all gonna go, then Daddy and KayKay can talk.”

“ Okay.” She grinned as she wriggled out of her father's arms.

Roman mouthed 'thank you' to his cousins before he gestured for his wife to follow him to the elevator.

“ I'll see you all later. Love you pumpkin.”

“ Love you too Daddy.”

The group headed out to the cars, they would have to take two, as there was eight of them. Jimmy, Jey, Naomi and Cameron headed over to their car and Madison followed Dean and Seth to theirs, mainly because Seth had his arm over her shoulder. She wanted to shrug it off, she was getting paranoid about fans taking photos, but she knew that Seth would question it if she did.

“ I wanna go with Uncle Dean.” Olivia demanded before jumping into Dean's car.

Dean drove, with Seth in shotgun and Olivia joined Madison in the back.

“ Hi, I'm Olivia.” The child said in a formal manner that made Madison smile.

“ I'm Madison.”

“ Are you my Uncle Seth's girlfriend?”

Madison's eyes widened and she heard Dean laugh in the front.

“ No, I'm just his friend.”

“ Are you my Daddy's friend too?”

“ Yep.”

“ You can be my friend then.” She added, very matter-of-factly.

“ I'd like that.”

“ You sure you can handle all these friends Maddy? Yesterday you didn't need any.”

Madison had to bite her tongue to stop herself from cursing at him, Dean obviously noticed, as he was smirking when he caught her eye in the rear-view mirror. She settled for digging her knee into the back of his seat.

“ Hey, hey, hey, precious cargo on board.” 

“ Aww, thanks Dean.” Seth answered.

“ He meant me you dummy.”

Madison and Dean both choked out a laugh whilst Seth turned around and gave Olivia the puppy dog eyes.

“ You'll learn this about our little Olivia. She ain't afraid to speak her mind, and she always gets exactly what she wants.” Dean explained as the little girl beamed angelically up at Madison.

As soon as they got to their destination Olivia decided that she wanted candy floss and her Uncle Jey to win her a stuffed animal. Both of her requests were granted as Naomi and Cameron went to the snack truck and Jey won a huge purple unicorn on the coconut shy.

* * *

Once they had exhausted all of the game stalls, Olivia decided that she wanted to ride the Ferris wheel, and she wanted everyone else to go on it too. As they queued Madison realised that if she got into a cab with Seth then he might start talking serious with her and she would have no escape. She pulled back a bit to stand by Dean instead, who seemed to realise what she was doing and slung an arm around her shoulder whilst throwing her a wink. Olivia turned around to them and scowled.

“ No Madison, Uncle Dean has to go with me, he can't be your boyfriend, he's mine!”

Madison tried to hold back a giggle at the possessive tone the child used over Dean. Seth leaned over to whisper in Madison's ear, in an exaggerated manner that meant everyone could hear him.

“ She's kinda in love with Dean, I'd watch your back.” He informed.

Madison smiled as Dean shrugged before he got into the next cage, Olivia sat next to him and crammed in her unicorn which was almost as big as her. As the next cage arrived Madison took a deep breath before stepping in, Seth followed behind her.

“ You having fun?” He asked as they started moving.

“ Yeah, Roman's daughter's a real cutie.”

“ Yeah, she can be a nightmare though, if she doesn't get her way.”

Madison smiled, they were now a quarter of the way up and Madison looked over the view, she felt the light breeze of her face, refreshing her. Seth was sitting watching her as she took in the view, her features relaxed and in that moment, he was so glad that Madison had decided to go out with them. He really didn't want to mess up their friendship again, but he couldn't stop himself from asking.

“ Mads, is everything okay with you? You know, like, with you and Benji?”

The woman took in a deep breath through her nose; she had known this was coming. This was the first time she had been alone with Seth since the day she had joined the roster, so she shouldn't be surprised that he wanted to have a serious chat with her.

“ Yes, everything's fine, I told you that.”

“ I know you told me, but we were having such a good time at the pool party and then you freaked when you got that text from him. Then you don't want to know us for two whole weeks. How am I not meant to think that something's going on?”

Madison didn't want to answer, she could feel tears prick the corner of her eyes; she wished she could just explain her relationship to Seth, but she knew that he would never understand. Still, the care he showed for her really hit home, no one had cared for her properly since her parents had died, and she craved to have someone look after her, but she knew that she didn't deserve it, especially after she had disobeyed Benji again. Enough silence had passed since Seth asked his question that Madison thought she could get away with dodging it.

“ So, what's the deal with Roman and his wife?” She looked out in to the distance, hoping the wind would disguise the few tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes.

“ No one knows really. They kinda just aren't working. It's kinda like nothing he does is good enough for her, like, she knew what he wanted to do as a career when they got together, but now he's doing it, she can't handle him not being there. I guess I understand it from her point of view, but from Roman's; he's trying his best to provide for his family, and he feels like he's getting shot down all the time.” Seth explained, his compassion for his friend showing through; Madison loved how caring Seth was.

“ So, Roman's wife isn't Olivia's Mom?”

“ Nah, that was his childhood sweetheart. But Kayla's been there since Olivia was a baby, so Roman thinks that if anything happened with him and Kayla, Olivia wouldn't take it very well. I feel for him, you know, he just wants what's best for his daughter.”

Seth seemed to be getting a little upset with the situation and Madison didn't like that, she didn't want Seth to be upset. She wanted to comfort him, but knew she probably shouldn't. Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound. If Benji found out about her spending the day with Seth then she was already in big trouble, she may as well go the whole hog. She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his slim waist; he reciprocated by slipping his arms around her torso.

“ I missed you the last two weeks.”

“ I missed you too.” She whispered, and then realised what she had said. “ I just needed to spend time with Benj, I miss him too.” She corrected.

“ You would tell me if anything was going on, if he was hurting you?”

“ Seth, you need to stop being so worried, I'm fine, me and Benji are fine.” She placated him, without actually agreeing.

“ Okay Maddy. I just care about you, you're like my little sister, I just wanna protect you.”

“ I don't need protecting, I'm a wrestler remember! I got a lot of moves in my arsenal.” She laughed, trying to make a joke out of the situation.

“ I'm glad you came to WWE, I'm glad I get to have another chance at being your friend.”

“ You're such a cutie pie Seth. And for the record, I'm glad too.”

The two friends fell into a comfortable silence, letting the soft sway of the cage soothe them as they clung to each other. They both caught sight of Dean and Olivia spying on them through the mesh of their cage in front, giggling and whispering to each other.

“ Uncle Dean, I told you Madison was Uncle Seth's girlfriend!” The little girl exclaimed and collapsed in a giggling fit.

* * *

Once they were off that ride Olivia decided she wanted to go on the Tunnel of Love.

“ You want Dean to go with you?” Jimmy cooed at his niece and Dean rolled his eyes at him.

“ No, I want Madison to come with me.” Olivia surprised everyone, including Madison with this. Truth be told, Dean looked a little heart broken at not being the chosen one anymore.

The two girls sat in the boat that was shaped like a swan, obviously the giant unicorn was along for the ride too. It was quite dark in the tunnel and Olivia didn't seem too keen on this, she sidled up closer to Madison and pressed the side of her little body against her, Madison instinctively wrapped her arm around the little girl's shoulders. She hadn't ever really been around kids since she was one herself, but she could tell Olivia was scared and it was an automatic reaction to that fear in the small child.

“ Daddy usually rides this with me.”

“ I hope I'm a good replacement.”

“ Yeah, you're nice Madison.”

“ Thank you. You're nice too.” Madison grinned happily.

“ Are my Daddy and KayKay having a fight?” A sadness cut into the girl's tone.

“ I don't think so sweetie, I think they're just talking. You don't need to worry about them, you just need to have fun.” Madison didn't really know what to say, she had never been in a situation like this before.

“ Okay. Are you new at wrestling?”

“ Well, I'm new here, but I've been wrestling for a long time.”

“ Since before I was born?” 

“ I'm not sure, how old are you?”

“ I'm six.”

“ Then yeah, since before you were born.”

The little girl's eyes widened, as if trying to take in that information, she seemed impressed . 

“ Wow, that's cool. Does my Daddy talk about me?” She asked, a curiousness in her eyes that warmed Madison's heart.

Madison felt bad, she had never spent enough time talking to Roman to find out much about his life. The only times they had been one-on-one had ended in sex, and when they were out in a group they were usually talking about work or all ribbing one another. She suddenly felt guilty, she had been so selfish, messing around with Roman when he had a family, and she already had a boyfriend. Obviously she wasn't going to tell Olivia that Roman had never spoken about her with Madison, she was one hundred per cent sure he talked about her with Seth, Dean and his cousins.

“ Oh yeah, all the time. He told me that you're his best girl, and that he misses you so much.” Madison knew she had said the right thing when Olivia's eyes lit up.

“ I miss him too. But it's cool when I see him on the TV. Not when he gets hurt though.”

“ You're Daddy is the biggest, toughest guy I know. I don't think it hurts him too much.”

Olivia smiled sweetly and snuggled up closer to Madison's side. The ride ended and they emerged from the tunnel to see the rest of their group waiting for them. Madison lifted the child from the boat and set her down on the ground, she ran over to Dean and launched herself at him, he caught her and lifted her onto his shoulders. They decided that they had probably better get back to the hotel to start getting ready for the event that night, as it was already four o'clock; well, the girls wanted to start getting ready anyway.


	10. Chapter 10

When they got back to the hotel Naomi, Cameron, Jimmy and Jey headed off to their rooms to get ready. The others headed up to Roman's room, Madison wouldn't have gone with them, but Olivia had a firm grasp on her hand, it seemed the girl had taken a shine to the Diva. Roman opened the door to them, a strange look on his face, he smiled briefly as he spotted his daughter. They entered the room and saw that Roman was alone.

“ Hey, where's Kayla?” Dean enquired.

Roman didn't answer, just gestured his head towards the opposite side of the room, Seth realised that Roman didn't want to talk in front of his daughter and knew that one of them would fill him in on what was going on later.

“ Hey Livvy, you wanna go and see if Auntie Nae had got some glitter you can put on your unicorn?” He suggested and the little girl squealed with excitement.

Once Seth and Olivia had gone Roman looked at the others, Madison shifted uncomfortably.

“ I should probably go.”

“ Nah Maddy, it's fine.” Roman said. “ Kayla's gone to Canada.”

“ Canada? What the fuck? She left you?” Dean blurted out.

“ No man, well, I don't think so. Her Aunt's real sick and no one else can go to her, so Kayla's gotta stay there for a few weeks. Rebecca's on holiday, so she couldn't take Olivia, which is why she brought her here.”  
Madison assumed Rebecca must have been Olivia's mother.

“ So, I'm not gonna be able to go to the thing tonight.”

“ Fair enough, the bosses won't be too happy though, their number one contender not showing up to an event, but I'm sure they'll understand.”

“ I'll look after her.” Before Madison knew what she was saying, the words had come out of her mouth. Dean and Roman both looked over at her, a little confused. “ I mean, big events with a lot of people aren't really my thing. I haven't even got a dress or anything suitable to wear. You need to be there, like Dean says, you're number one contender for Cesaro's championship. No one will even notice if I'm not there, I've been pretty invisible the past two weeks anyway.” She was babbling, and she knew it. The thing was, Madison really could use an excuse not to attend the event tonight anyway, there would definitely be photographers there, and WWE would certainly put the photos up on the website, or on Twitter.

Roman seemed to be thinking over the suggestion.

“ To be fair, she's got a point . . . not with the invisible thing. And Olivia seems to have taken a liking to her already, I mean, she even rode the tunnel of love with her.” Dean laughed.

“ Really?! Well, that is a stamp of approval.” The smile now on Roman's face made Madison smile back, he really was a gorgeous man. “ Yeah okay, only if you're sure.”

“ Yeah, of course. How hard can looking after a six year old be? We'll watch some horror movies, drink some coffee . . .” Madison laughed as she saw the Samoan's eyes bug out of his head. “ I'm joking. She'll be fine.”

“ Thanks Madison, I really appreciate it.” 

Roman pulled her into a hug, and Madison felt a little strange. She had never had this much contact with him without it leading to something more, in fact, even those times she hadn't been as close to him as she was now. With Dean in the room she felt a little embarrassed as she felt a heat rising inside of her. The feeling freaked her out too, Roman and her just used each other for stress relief, that was all it was, that was all it could be, because anything else would be bad.

* * *

Seth hadn't been too happy that Madison had managed to get out of going to the event, but he also agreed that Roman needed to be there. Madison and Olivia had called on room service for their dinner and had spent a couple of hours playing tea party with her unicorn. The Diva was actually enjoying looking after the little girl, it sure as hell beat spending all night trying to avoid the cameras at the 2K event. Benji had called earlier to check up on her, and he had been pleased that she was staying at the hotel rather than attending the party. 

At around eight thirty Olivia started to yawn and Madison realised it was probably about bed time, although she had no idea when six-year-olds were supposed to go to bed, and she hadn't thought to ask Roman.

“ Hey sweetie. Are you getting sleepy?” Madison asked gently.

The little girl nodded as another big yawn escaped her mouth. Madison took out the pyjamas that Roman had left and helped Olivia change into them before helping her brush her teeth. She then lifted her into the king size bed and tucked the covers over her.

“ Can you tell me a story?”

Madison only knew one bedtime story, it was the one that her father had told her every night when she was growing up. She was pretty sure he had made it up, but she still remembered it off by heart even though she hadn't even thought about it in years; it was about a girl who dreamed about being a Princess and ran away from home to find her kingdom.

Olivia was listening to Madison intently as she started talking, her eyes locked onto the Diva's face, but as the story went on the girl's eyes started drifting closed and her breathing began to even out. Madison still told the whole story, she couldn't stop once she had started.

“ . . . and when her Mommy and Daddy wrapped their arms tight around her, she knew that she had been their Princess all along.”

As Madison finished the story, she realised that there were tears streaming down her face, she hadn't even been aware that she had started crying.

“ Night Madison.” A half-asleep Olivia croaked.

“ Night Olivia, sweet dreams.”

She stood up from where she had been sitting at the edge of the bed and wandered over to the bathroom where she splashed water over her face to wash off the tears. She leaned on the vanity, looking at her reflection in the mirror; she could see parts of both her Mother and Father looking back at her from her own face and it made her sad. 

Madison rarely let herself think about her parents, she always got angry when she did, she felt robbed when she thought about how early they had been taken from her. She hadn't been nearly ready to live without them and now look what a mess she had made of her life. Benji had been there with her, trying to help her through her grief, she owed him, and here she was, making a fool of him by spending all day with the very people he had told her not to. And what exactly did she think she was doing now? Looking after the child of the person she had been messing around with behind Benji's back, what kind of sick situation was that? Her parents would have been so ashamed of her. She got out her phone and text Benji.

_Been thinking about Mom and Dad. Can you call me, could really do with hearing your voice. Love and miss you_

As she waited for him to reply she decided to lay down on the bed next to the sleeping Olivia. Madison lay on top of the covers and looked at her phone expectantly, it was only about two minutes until the message tone beeped.

_Can't talk, doing stuff. I will come see you next week though. Make sure you keep being good for me Madison_

That wasn't what Madison needed to hear, she needed Benji right now to comfort her and make her feel better, and he was too busy 'doing stuff'. More tears escaped her green eyes as she dropped her phone to the floor.

A knocking was the next thing Madison was aware of, she realised quickly that she had fallen asleep and the knocking was on her hotel room door. She moved her legs off the side of the bed and set them on the floor before shifting the rest of her body to a standing position; a look at the illuminated bedside clock informed her that it was ten to midnight. 

As she moved across to the door she took a quick look in the mirror and fixed the make-up that had run down her face with her tears before opening it. Roman was standing there.

“ Hey Maddy, sorry, did I wake you?” He smirked as she stifled a yawn.

“ Yeah, I must have drifted off for a minute. How was the party?” She asked while moving aside for him to enter the room.

“ It was good, Dean and Seth are still there. I wanted to get back, I didn't even mean to be out this late, sorry about that.” He looked over at his sleeping daughter and the smile on his face was so loving that Madison found herself thinking about her own father again, but she couldn't let herself cry in front of Roman.

“ It's fine, she was no trouble at all.” 

Madison was gathering Olivia's things up and placing them in a bag so that Roman could take them with him. As she grabbed the unicorn to put with the rest of the stuff, she felt Roman's hand on her arm. She turned to face him a little and saw how close he was to her, his hand resting gently on her forearm.

“ Thank you for this Maddy, I really appreciate it.” He said, his voice suddenly huskier than usual, the tone of voice was familiar to Madison. Roman began to move his face towards her, and the brunette quickly realised that he was going to kiss her. She dodged out of his way and held the unicorn in between them as a barrier.

“ Honestly, it's fine. Are you gonna take her to your room, or if you don't wanna move her she can stay here.” Madison said, acting as though Roman hadn't been just about to kiss her.

“ Oh, I'll take her, she won't wake up.” He said quickly.

He moved over to the bed and plucked Olivia out easily, taking the unicorn and bag of her things in one hand as he held her to his chest. Madison opened the door so that he could get out and then quickly shut it behind him after she said a quick goodnight.

Now she was alone again she couldn't believe what had just happened. Why on earth had Roman tried to kiss her? What they had was purely stress relief, they helped each other out when they were stressed or angry, it was a weird unspoken agreement between them both. Madison had been fine with that, well, fine wasn't the most appropriate word, as she felt tremendous guilt over betraying Benji, but she had come to terms with it. 

Benji wasn't always there when she needed to relieve stress, and she couldn't have asked him to help her even if he was there, Benji always instigated sex between them. With Roman, he seemed to sense when she needed him to help her, and he was more than happy to aid her. But that was all it was. They didn't speak about it ever, and they wouldn't, and they couldn't. To speak about it would be like admitting that it was real, Madison just wanted to pretend that they were some out of body experiences that she couldn't control, they certainly felt like them. 

The way Madison acted when she was alone with Roman was not like her at all. But kissing? Madison didn't even deserve to be kissed by Benji half of the time, how could Roman want to kiss her? But then again, she also didn't understand how Roman could stand to touch her scar, but his fingers seemed to be drawn to it every single time. 

Madison was confused. Her life before joining the WWE had been simple, it had been her and Benji against the world, but now things were different. She wished she had stayed at Ring of Honor, she had been doing good there since she rejoined three years after her suspension. No one expected anything extra from her there, she could keep herself to herself and as long as she gave her all during her matches, they were fine. But she had had to be enticed by the bright lights of the WWE, the world's leading wrestling brand. 

It wasn't the money she wanted, she didn't live an extravagant lifestyle; it was the validation. It always came back to that, Madison needed to feel like she was good enough, something she probably would never fully believe. She had also been drawn to the company, as the thought of seeing Tyler, Seth, again after those six years had been more than she could resist. That was the first thing she thought of when the company had approached her, she would get the chance to see him again.

She knew that Benji didn't like Seth, and she knew that she probably wouldn't be allowed to see him, but he had been her shining light during her last two turbulent months of her first stint with ROH. She had found out Benji had been cheating on her, not that it was the first time, but that, along with her botching a few of her matches due to the drugs had made Madison feel out of control. 

Her temper wasn't great at the best of times, but she would explode on anyone and everyone for the smallest of things, if she hadn't of been caught out with the drugs, she would have probably been suspended anyway because of her behaviour. But Seth had been there, calmed her down at every opportunity, and not in the same way that Roman calmed her down. He had talked to her, hugged her, let her know that she was wanted. 

Then it came out about her drug habit and he didn't call, he didn't text, she didn't see him again and she could understand why, he was an amazing wrestler, on his way to the top, being friends with a drug addict would only have hindered him. Maybe she should have stayed away from WWE, and stayed away from Seth, then none of these confusing situations would have happened.


	11. Chapter 11

Madison headed off quickly the next morning, before dawn, she didn't want to see anyone, especially Roman and Seth. She drove the six hours back to her apartment and holed herself up there for the next few days. She worked out and spoke to Benji when he bothered to call, which wasn't as much as usual, and that's all she did. She responded to texts when her friends got in touch, not wanting them to think something was up with her again, but other than that she had no contact with the outside world. 

On Saturday she had to do a house show, but she wasn't scheduled for Friday or Sunday; luckily the only one of her new friendship group that was on the house show with her was Cameron. They spent the day together, training and getting ready for their tag match, but they didn't talk about personal things much, she was closer to Naomi.

Madison had also not been scheduled to appear on Raw, which she wasn't disappointed about, she could use the extra day to clear her mind. All weekend she had kept thinking about Roman and how he had tried to kiss her, she had always tried to keep her friendship with Roman separate in her head to what happened between them behind closed doors, it was easier that way, feelings didn't get involved. But seeing him with his daughter, and then their almost-kiss had confused her, and her feelings for Roman as a friend were starting to blur with the memories of how his fingers felt as they grabbed her hips. Everything in her head was starting to blur together and she needed a release, but she couldn't go to Roman for it. 

As she was backstage getting ready for Smackdown her phone chimed, she assumed it would be Seth checking she was there, but she saw Benji's number instead.

_I'm here, front row, can't wait for your match Madison_

Madison's heart leapt, she had missed Benji, especially as he hadn't been calling nearly as often as he usually did. She was excited to see him, and she hoped that he would be in a giving mood and she would be able to get her release.

When it was time for her match she bounded towards the Gorilla, not wanting to wait any longer to go out there and see Benji in the crowd. Her music hit and she made her way down into the ring in her usual fashion. Once she climbed in she scanned the crowd quickly and saw Benji sitting on the front row to the right of the commentary team with his arm slung over the empty chair beside him, she smiled at him and he winked back.

Naomi made her way down next and it wasn't long before they locked up and the match was underway. 

After ten minutes the match was near it's conclusion; Naomi had thrown Madison against the rope, winding her, as Madison leaned over and got her breath back she chanced a look over at Benji to see if he was enjoying the match. 

What she saw shocked her, the seat beside Benji was no longer empty, it was occupied by a skinny blonde girl, who didn't look dissimilar to how Madison used to look six years ago. That wasn't the problem though, it was the fact that Benji and this woman were entwined together and kissing passionately. 

Madison felt like she had been winded for real, she turned around and was hit directly in the side of the face by Naomi's super kick; she had been meant to duck the kick and get Naomi in a roll up for the win. Instead, her face took the full force of the impact and she was momentarily stunned, falling to the floor. Naomi took the initiative and covered Madison.

“ You okay?” She whispered, her mouth hidden by her hair.

“ Uh huh. I fucked up.” 

“ Isn't that your boyfriend over there?”

“ Yep.” Madison whispered as the ref's hand came down on three.

Madison slithered out of the ring, dejectedly. She would probably get in trouble for screwing up the ending of the match, but sometimes these things couldn't be helped.

* * *

As she reached the back she saw Benji already waiting for her, she had no clue how he had gotten back there so fast. Madison walked straight past him, she still couldn't get her head around what she had witnessed at ring side.

“ Don't fucking walk away from me Madison.” He said, grabbing her arm.

She couldn't answer, didn't know what to say, she just let him pull her towards an empty corridor.

“ Not gonna say hello? I came all this way to see your match.”

Still Madison didn't answer, she could feel anger burning up inside her, but she couldn't let it loose on Benji, she knew better than that. Alongside that anger was devastation, sure, Benji had cheated on her before and she had forgiven him, but she had never witnessed it first hand before.

“ Cat got your tongue Madison? Come on, I'm sure you have something to say.” His face was twisted into an arrogant sneer.

“ Who is she?” She finally managed to choke out.

“ She's no one Madison, not any special anyway. Do you see how easily you can be replaced? Can you feel what's it's like to be humiliated like you humiliated me? Do you get it?” He was right in her face now, anger running through him.

“ This is about the photo?” She realised.

“ Of course it's about the fucking photo Madison!” He grabbed her hair in his fist and yanked her head to an uncomfortable angle. “ You think you can make a fool out of me and I'll just forgive you? You really think I'm that weak? I'm not weak Madison, you're weak. You're nothing without me, just some little orphan girl with no real home and no family. You had it good with me Madison, I protected you. Now what? You think that Seth can protect you, think that he won't just turn his back on you like he did before? No Madison, he will turn on you at the first opportunity. No one wants you Madison, I loved you and you threw it back in my face, all I asked was that you keep away from him, was that really that hard of a task?”

“ Nothing is going on with me and Seth.” She tried to steady her voice.

“ That's too bad, because now you're all alone. I don't need you Madison, you need me, and you fucked it up. You don't get to humiliate me and get away with it, I can't believe you even really thought I forgave you. You're nothing but a little slut, a little slut who no one is ever going to want, no one is ever going to love. I hope you're happy.” He threw her backward, letting go of her hair, which caused the back of her head to come into contact with the solid wall with a crack.

“ Please Benji, don't go, I'm sorry.” She pleaded, her voice breaking as tears welled up in her eyes.

“ Too late Madison, sorry doesn't cut it. Have a nice life you little whore.”

He turned and walked away, not once looking back as Madison held the back of her head and leaned against the wall. Benji was gone, how had she been so stupid as to think he had really forgiven her? She felt the rage bubble to the surface along with the crushing reality that she really was alone now, Benji was really gone. 

The emotions were all to much for her, she let out a strangled growl grabbed a cardboard box that was on the floor and hurled it down the corridor.

* * *

Roman hadn't had a match that night, but he had come to the arena anyway, as he didn't have anything else to do after he had finished his Make-A-Wish meet and greet. He was wandering the corridors trying to find Seth when he heard a heavy object hit a wall somewhere off to his right, along with a very familiar frustrated growl. 

He found himself picking up his speed in order to track down the source of the noise and excitement ran up his spine. He knew that it was Madison, and if she was throwing things then that could mean only one thing, she needed to be calmed down. Roman realised that it was probably wrong feel glad that Madison was angry, but he found himself thinking about her more and more recently, especially after she had looked after Olivia for him earlier in the week. 

As he rounded the corner in a more deserted part of the arena and started down the corridor, he saw Madison sat on the floor, her knees up to her chest. He soon realised that this wasn't the state he usually saw her in, and when he got closer he could hear the sobs coming from her. He didn't speak as he approached her, just crouched down in front of her and placed his large hands on the outside of her thighs.

“ Madison, what's the matter?” He asked gently.

She lifted her head and her eyes met with his, tears welling up and falling freely down her face. She looked so scared and vulnerable in that moment that a surge of protectiveness rushed over him, he wanted to find whoever upset Madison and kick their asses. Her beautiful face was streaked with tears and her whole body was trembling. She didn't even seem to register that he was there, despite looking directly at him, and soon she lowered her head back down to her chest.

“ Hey Madison, look at me, talk to me.” He said, putting his fingers underneath her chin to raise her head once more.

She opened her mouth to answer, but no sound came out, just another choked sob, and all Roman wanted to do in that moment was make her feel better, there was nothing more important there and then than that. He kept his fingertips on her chin and he brought his face closer to hers, as he leaned in he thought about how he had never actually kissed her before, he had been about to in South Carolina, but when she dodged away he assumed she hadn't felt right doing anything while his daughter was in the room. 

He had been fantasising about kissing her all weekend, and with Kayla away and Olivia back with her Mom, he didn't have anything to distract himself with. He had tried to feel bad about thinking about it, he was married and she had a boyfriend, but it still didn't stop him imagining how her plump lips would feel against his.

When their lips were only a centimetre apart Roman saw something change in Madison's eyes, the vulnerability was gone and replacing it was raw unadulterated rage. She shoved him away from her, causing him to stumble before he could right himself, and she shot up to a standing position.

“ What the fuck do you think you're doing? You can't kiss me Roman!”

“ Why not?”

“ It's too real, that'll make it too real. I can't!” Her voice faltered.

“ Too real? What we've been doing ain't real enough?” He questioned, not quite sure where her anger at him was coming from.

“ Don't you get it Roman, it's fucking wrong! You have a family, a wife, a child, what kind of a man are you if you keep coming to me to relieve your frustrations?”

“ I haven't heard you complaining.”

“ That's because I'm a terrible fucking person, a little slut. You should know better, you made a vow, you have a responsibility.” She spat, and the words really hit home to Roman, he kept telling himself that he had a family to think about, but it hadn't stopped him fixating on Madison.

“ I know that. What the hell's the matter with you?”

“ Just stay away from me Roman.” She said, and stormed off back down the corridor towards the main part of the arena where the locker rooms were.

Roman was left confused, on the one hand he knew he should listen to Madison, what they had been doing as wrong, there was no two ways about it, but on the other hand, he wanted to know what had caused Madison to get in that state. Sure, he had seen her angry before, but that was something else, sobbing one minute and irate the next, it made him even more intrigued by this woman.

* * *

As Madison left the arena she felt like her whole body was burning, inside her was a mix of emotions; anger, betrayal, despair, frustration, regret, embarrassment and fear. She didn't want to feel like this, she wanted to feel nothing. 

There was only three ways she had managed to control this kind of overwhelming rush of emotions in the past; drugs, sex and physical exertion, such as fighting or busting her ass in the gym. The first one was a huge no-no, she couldn't lose her job, the one thing that she still had left. The second was a possibility, but the only person she could think about relieving her tension in that way was Roman and she had just ruined that. The third was the only viable option, she headed to the hotel so she could get in the gym quickly, before she exploded.

It was ten o'clock when she started walking the short distance to the hotel and it barely even registered to Madison that it was snowing heavily. She felt the cooling sensation on the bare skin of her face, which she welcomed, but she had tunnel vision. 

As soon as she got to the gym, still in her ring gear, she hopped on to the treadmill and cranked it up. She ran until she was sick, only just making it to the bathroom in time to puke into the toilet bowl. 

Once she had done throwing up she felt better, her head was clearer and she knew that now she would be able to sleep. 

She collapsed onto her bed as soon as she got into the hotel room, she looked at the beside alarm clock and the luminous green numbers telling her it was almost three am was all she registered before she fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

When Madison woke up, her body was sore, but her mind felt oddly calm. She thought about what had happened the previous night, but it felt like it was kind of disconnected in her head, like the events of last night weren't even real. Her heart still hurt when she thought about what Benji had said, and the fact that he was gone, but she couldn't connect any of the emotions in her brain, which relieved her. She hated to cry, and what she hated more was that she had let Roman see her cry, how was she going to face him now? 

Before she could think about what she was going to do until her flight her phone rang, as she picked it up she saw that it was already midday.

“ Hey Maddy. You about or you go home last night?” Naomi's voice carried through the receiver.

“ Nah, I'm here, my flight's at four.”

“ That's why I'm calling, look outside. The airports are all closed, and so are most of the roads, we're stuck here.”

As Naomi was speaking Madison had got out of bed and wandered over to the window, a thick sheet of white covered everything, about two foot deep. Madison vaguely remembered snow the night before as she had been walking to the hotel, but she hadn't noticed how heavy it was.

“ Great.” She answered.

“ Cam and I are going to lunch in a little while, wanna meet us in the bar in about half an hour?”

“ Yeah sure, see you in a bit.”

“ Bye.”

The brunette shed her clothes, she realised she was still in her ring gear from the night before, before jumping in the shower. As she washed off the dried sweat and make-up from her face and body, and washed her hair, she thought about what happened now. Now that Benji was gone. 

She wanted to call him, to beg him to come back, but she was too hurt for that. Seeing Benji with his tongue down another woman's throat had cut her deep inside. She thought about life without Benji, but it was too difficult, so instead she decided to focus on the immediate future. 

If he was really gone, then that meant she wouldn't have to worry about spending time with her friends, which was one good thing, she had been trying to hold back as much as she could, but feeling accepted in this group of amazing people really made Madison feel good. Instead of thinking about what she would do if Benji had truly left her long term, she would enjoy spending time with her friends without having to watch her back.

She text Seth.

_Flight's cancelled. Going to lunch with Nae and Cam. Are you in NY or did you go home last night?_

She didn't have to wait long at all for a response.

_Stuck here too. Made Dean & Ro go with me to find a cross fit gym, they aren't happy. See you a bit later?_

_Yes definitely. Have a good workout_

Madison actually found herself feeling a little excited that seeing Seth, and the rest of her friends, wouldn't have to be in secret anymore. She dressed quickly and put on minimal make-up before heading down to meet Cameron and Naomi. They were seated at a round table in the hotel bar/restaurant.

“ Wine girlies?” Cameron grinned as she perused the wine list.

“ I don't really drink.” Madison replied instinctively and Cameron gave her an incredulous look.

“ We are stuck in one of the best shopping cities in the country and we can barely get out of the hotel, I think that calls for a little wine.” She complained, Madison never really got Cameron's love of all things material, but it wasn't hurting anyone so she never said anything.

As she thought about what Cameron had said, she realised that she only didn't drink because Benji didn't like her when she was drunk. Today was all about doing things she wasn't allowed to before.

“ Actually I could go for some wine.”

When they were eating and were on their second bottle of wine, Naomi decided to bring up the subject that had been playing on her mind since last night.

“ How's your jaw?” Naomi asked, a slight look of apprehension on her face, she was worried she had hurt the other woman.

“ Sore.” Madison smiled while rubbing the skin with her thumb.

“ So, what happened yesterday, you were meant to duck that kick, it's not like you to miss a spot like that.” Madison could tell that Naomi was nervous asking this question, she guessed that the slightly older woman wasn't really sure where their friendship stood, as Madison was blowing hot and cold all the time. She didn't really want to talk about Benji, but she was pretty sure Naomi had seen what had happened, so she didn't have much choice.

“ I'm guessing you saw what happened.”

“ From where I was standing, it looked like your man had his tongue down some other girl's throat right in front of you.” Naomi didn't seem at all happy about the fact.

“ Yeah, basically.”

“ Oh no boo! What a bastard!” Cameron chimed in.

“ So, he say what the hell he was playing at?”

Madison couldn't tell the truth, because she knew that Naomi and Cameron wouldn't properly understand. They would think that Benji was 100% in the wrong, but really Madison had brought it all on herself. She decided to tell a half truth.

“ He was pissed off at me for hanging around with Seth.”

“ So he brought some other girl to watch your show? What's his problem with Seth?”

“ I used to be friend's with him a few years ago, on the Indies, and Benji thought that he was trying it on with me or something. You know how guys get, over protective.” She tried to explain it away as simply as she could.

“ Yeah, I mean, Jimmy can be over protective, but you hanging around with Seth, whether he likes him or not, doesn't give him the right to do what he did.” Naomi argued.

“ I know. Well, he's not my boyfriend anymore, if that's what you wanna know.” Madison dropped her gaze to the table, she didn't want the looks of pity that the two women were giving her, the whole mess was her fault.

“ Oh Maddy, you should have said, do you need to cry?” Cameron asked.

“ No, I did my crying, I just need to have fun with my friends.” Madison smiled and drank down the three-quarter full glass of wine she had in one gulp.

* * *

Once the three women had had their fill of food and wine they headed back to the suite that Naomi and Jimmy had upgraded to when they realised they might be stuck here for a few days.

“ I can't believe we have three whole days off and we're stuck here because of a stupid snow storm.” Cameron moaned, the weather had made her irritable and with each glass of wine she became a little more spiteful.

“ I know, we were meant to be having the kids come stay.” Naomi loved her step-kids to pieces and was annoyed that her and Jimmy were missing precious time with them.

“ Come on girls, stop moaning. We're pretty much snowed in, it's exciting.”

“ That's easy for you to say, you've got nothing to go home to.” Cameron sniped and Madison couldn't quite believe it.

“ Oh yeah, and where's your boyfriend, huh? Thought he was meant to be here this week.” Madison couldn't help biting back, she liked Cameron, but her personality was sometimes aggravating, especially once she had had a drink, she let her mouth run away from her. 

“ He's snowed in just like us. At least I have a boyfriend.”

“ Come on now ladies, there's no point fighting, we stuck here.” Naomi, always the voice of reason. It was a good job she had interfered, as that last remark had really pissed Madison off. It was barely two hours since she had told Cameron about her and Benji splitting up, and she was already throwing it in her face.

As she was brooding in her thoughts in bounced the Uso's, full of energy as usual.

“ Hey girls, we made snow angels.” Jimmy announced.

“ Good for you baby, you been drinking?”

“ There's not much else to do now we stuck here. May as well have some fun.”

“ Good idea. I'm gonna find some more alcohol and then we can relax and have a good night.”

Madison grabbed Naomi's coat from the chair and headed out of the room, not stopping to hear anyone protest. As she stepped out of the warm safety of the hotel she felt the harsh wind bite into her skin, despite the thick coat she wore. She had seen a convenience store only a couple of buildings down, but at the moment she couldn't see more than two feet in front of her. 

Despite the conditions, she made it in one piece and began piling bottles into a basket, she really should have brought someone to help carry everything.

“ Hey Madison, what'ya doin'?” She heard a crisp British accent behind her and turned to see Paige and Alicia Fox.

“ Drinks in Naomi's room, gotta make this lock down fun somehow. Wanna join?”

“ We thought you'd never ask.” Foxy grinned and grabbed a couple of bottles of vodka to join the rum and whiskey Madison already had picked out.

* * *

Jey let the three girls into the room and took the bags from them before unloading the bottles.

“ Did you get any beer or just liquor?” He grinned.

“ You said you wanted to have fun, didn't you? Besides, I got wine for the more classy among us.” Madison held the bottle out to Cameron who accepted it gratefully, she only ever drank wine.

“ Hope you don't mind that I brought Paige and Foxy.” Madison said whilst taking the plastic shot glasses from the bag and setting them on the table, filling each one with some form of liquor.

“ Not at all, Jimmy called in reinforcements anyway.”

The door at the front of the suite opened and what sounded like two, maybe three people entered.

“ S'up Uce.” That voice, like liquid silk hit Madison's ears and made her stomach lurch. Why did it have to be him? Although she shouldn't really have been surprised, they were cousins.

The brunette downed three shots, one after another, and headed towards the voices, armed with a tray full of alcohol.

“ Shots anyone?” She grinned as she entered the room, grey eyes locking immediately with her own. He seemed surprised to see her and just gave a half smile as he took a shot of whiskey. She wasn't surprised at the frosty reception, considering how she had treated him the previous day. Dean and Seth were with him, they both took shots from the tray and Seth gave her a hug.

Naomi put some music on and they all sat around chatting and drinking. Madison was talking to Paige and Alicia about Paige's upcoming visit home to England for Christmas that she had just booked as she had been given the time off, Roman sat talking to his cousins and Dean and Seth seemed to be having some sort of dance-off with Cameron and Naomi; the Pensacola native laughed as he watched his boys make fools of themselves. 

He glanced over at the beautiful brunette across the room, talking to Paige and Alicia, her eyes still looked sad and he was still curious as to why. He craved to know what had upset her so much the previous day, maybe he could do something to help. He quickly mentally scolded himself, this thing between them was purely physical, if it was even anything anymore, it couldn't go beyond that, he had responsibilities, like she had said.

“ Hey Rome!” Jey's voice finally cut through his thoughts. “ What's up with you? We're meant to be having fun.”

“ I need more drink.”

Roman noticed that everyone else in the room seemed to be considerably more intoxicated than him; he knew his cousins had been drinking earlier in the day, and the girls were probably light weights, but even Dean and Seth seemed to be on their way. He crossed the room and grabbed a bottle of scotch, chugging down a few big gulps until his throat burned, that was better.

Roman settled back into his spot on the couch where the Usos, Naomi, Cameron and Dean were starting a hand of poker. Seth had gone to sit with the other ladies in the room, his arm slung over Madison's shoulders as she leaned into his embrace.

“ You know what would be fun?” Foxy asked five minutes later, all eyes in the room looked up at her expectantly as her grin widened. “ Strip poker.” She giggled.

“ Yes!” Seth and Dean replied at once.

“ I'm in.” Paige joined Alicia to sit on the floor where the original poker game had been taking place. “ Come on Mads.”

“ But I'm terrible at poker.” She pouted.

“ All the more reason for you to play.” Seth grinned, and Madison stuck her middle finger up at him. “ I meant for practise obviously.”

She laughed and joined the rest of them on the floor, Roman also slid off the couch to join everyone.

“ I really don't think this is fair. I'm playing with my brother, my cousin and my sister-in-law. I better see some non-family boobies!” Jey moaned.

“ You just might.” Alicia teased. “ Okay, so socks count as one.”

“ And belts don't count.” Madison added, a smirk on her face as every guy in the room complained.

“ Then neither does jewellery.” Jimmy countered, but only Cameron really moaned about this rule, the other girls only had earrings on, whereas she had at least five different pieces on.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has got a flashback in, it's in italics so it doesn't get confusing
> 
> I'd love to know what you guys think of the story so far

Half an hour later everyone was a little more drunk, and a little more naked. Cameron and Jey had only removed their socks; Roman, Paige, Naomi and Jimmy had no socks or tops; Alicia had only her bra and panties and Dean had only his boxers on. Seth had on his boxers and also his hat, which he had kept on for some reason and Madison had on her bra and panties, and a vest which she was thankful she had worn.

Madison lost the next hand and was told to remove her vest. Roman watched as she she slowly, teasingly removed the item of clothing, giving everyone a peek at the black lace bra that matched the black lace boy shorts she was wearing. Taking a look around the room, the Samoan saw that all the guys eyes were watching her intently, and some of the girls. 

Madison really was a beautiful girl, he thought, and they weren't used to seeing her with so few clothes on. In the ring you could only see her arms, a hint of cleavage and about half an inch of stomach. Roman smirked as he realised he was maybe the only one in the room to have seen more of her. Even outside of the ring she didn't show off much flesh.

“ I didn't know you had a scar, how'd you get that?!” Naomi pointed out the imperfection that ran from the front of Madison's body and round to her spine. 

Another smirk came to Roman's face as he thought about all the times he had run his fingers over that very scar. He had never asked about it's origin though, and he had never actually seen it.

Madison had frozen when Naomi called her out on her scar, she hadn't even been thinking about it when she took off her vest, which was strange as she normally couldn't forget about it. 

Ever since she had started sleeping with Roman, she seemed to have less insecurity about it, but she guessed that was what happened when someone seemed to revere even your imperfections. No one had screamed in horror, so she must be okay. 

The alcohol was making her lose her inhibitions and feel more confident, no wonder Benji hadn't wanted her to drink. Madison's face flushed as she thought about the fact that now everyone had seen the scar that she had tried to keep hidden for so long.

* * *

_Madison was doing the rounds on the Indies after she had been suspended from ROH due to her habitual use of amphetamines. She wrestled under the name 'Maddy Mayhem' and was currently doing a few CZW shows. Tonight she was valeting Homicide to the ring for his match against Jon Moxley. The match was a barbed wire match, where the ropes were replaced with the twisted metal, Maddy was high as a kite and soaking in the atmosphere of blood and sweat, she loved it._

_Partway though the match Moxley had Homicide at the turnbuckle, pushing his face into the barbed wire as he punched him repeatedly. Maddy knew that she wasn't meant to interfere with the match, but the pull of the ring was too much for her. She jumped up onto the apron and grabbed at the slightly taller man's hair to get him to stop, she barely felt the barbed wire cutting into the skin of her abdomen. Moxley grabbed hold of her wrist and pushed her violently away from him, Maddy twisted as she fell, the metal rope biting into her further as she tumbled to the ringside._

_Homicide eventually won the match after delivering a flying leg drop onto Moxley as he was lying on several lighting tubes._

_Jon had found himself a quiet room backstage, away from the main locker room, in order to change and clean himself up. He was starting to get a headache and couldn't wait to get home to bed. As he was unlacing his boots the door opened and in walked the pretty little thing who had valeted Homicide to the match tonight, he hadn't caught her name. His head snapped to the side, irritated eyes meeting hers._

_“ What d'you want?” He snapped. “ Come to gloat about me losing?”_

_“ Nope.” Was all she said as she came further into the room, idly surveying the surroundings._

_Jon noticed quite a large gash that led from just under her ample right breast, across her rib cage and finished close to her spine. He realised that she must have caught on the bared wire when she had interfered with their match._

_“ You might wanna get that checked out.” He motioned to the sticky redness that was trickling down over her taut bronzed stomach._

_“ It's only a bit of blood, you're not really one to talk.” She gestured to his head, he could feel the blood already caking in his sweaty hair and clinging to the side of his face, this was nothing new to him. The girl in front of him couldn't be more than twenty and certainly didn't look like she was used to barbed metal ripping into her flesh like he was, but who was he to argue if she said she was okay._

_He eyed her as she walked slowly around the room, her movements jerky, tapping her fingers absent-mindedly on her stomach. He couldn't work out what she was doing here, but for some reason he started to find her presence more amusing than irritating. She slipped her fingers into the pocket of her incredibly short denim skirt and retrieved a small clear bag with about twenty pills in. She took one in between her finger and thumb and approached where Jon was standing, his eyes still on her._

_Even though she was wearing heels he still had a good four inches on her in height. She placed one hand on his shoulder and raised herself onto her tip-toes. Her mouth was maybe an inch away from his own, her breath tickling his lips. He smirked and she brought her hand up and held the pill in the space between their lips._

_“ Want one?” Her voice was only a whisper._

_“ I don't do that shit.” His gravelly tone so close made a shiver run down her spine._

_She shrugged and popped the pill into her own mouth, swallowing it easily. She stepped away from him, replacing the little bag into her pocket._

_Moxley grabbed a bottle of water from his bag, poured a little into his hand and rubbed it across his face. As he did so, he dropped the bottle cap, it bounced and settled on the floor, behind the blonde._

_“ Don't worry, I got it.”_

_She could have crouched down to retrieve the lid, but she didn't. She turned so that her back was to the tall blonde man, and bent over, keeping her legs straight so that her small skirt rode further up her slim legs._

_From his position he watched as the denim hitched further up her thighs and rose over the perfect curve of her ass. He smirked as it revealed her lack of underwear, her moist slit now exposed to him as she took her time in picking up the bottle top. If that wasn't a come on, Jon didn't know what was, and Jon Moxley was never one to turn down such an opportunity._

_He closed the space between them and used the tip of his finger to trace a line from the back of her knee, up her thigh, over her ass and then dragged it over her exposed pussy. He stopped and dipped the tip between her slick folds, enticing a throaty moan from her. He placed his left hand on her hip as he let the index finger of his right disappear inside of her, his cock twitching in the wrestling trunks he had not yet changed out of. He added a second finger and slowly began to pump them in and out of her, crooking them once inside to stroke over her g-spot. Her breath was now coming in pants as he teased her incessantly._

_He withdrew his fingers and she stood up, turning to face him. She reached for his hand, brought his fingers up to her lips and sucked them clean, causing Jon to groan. The sight of his fingers between her plump pink lips making him imagine how good his cock would look between them. Before he had a chance to open his mouth she dropped to her knees and released his now fully hard cock from his trunks. He watched as the swollen tip passed through the barrier of her lips, her hot tongue immediately tracing circles around it. Her finger tapped out a rhythm as she gripped onto his hip bone, giving him a clue that what she was on was most likely speed. He moaned loudly as she suddenly bobbed her head, taking as much of him into her mouth as possible._

_As she moved her talented mouth on his throbbing cock, she moved one hand to stroke his balls, and the other wandered under the cut-off t-shirt she was wearing to play with one of her own erect nipples._

_The sight in front of him was so erotic that Jon felt the need to be inside of her immediately. He tugged lightly on her hair and she stood quickly, he grinned at how obedient she was._

_He backed her against the wall and clashed their lips together, their tongues instantly meeting and doing battle. He ran his hand up her thigh and cupped her pert ass, she lifted her leg to rest on his hip._

_“ Shit! I don't have a condom.” He grunted, annoyed at himself for being unprepared._

_The blonde smile sexily and pulled a small foil wrapper from the other pocket of her skirt. He gave a relieved sigh and took it from her. The truth was, that he was so turned on right now that he would have carried on without one and thought about the consequences later. As he undid the wrapper and rolled the condom onto his thick length, she rid herself of her top, exposing her pert 32D breasts. Jon thought to himself that this girl really must have a problem with underwear. He returned his hand to her thigh and slid into her warmth._

_“ You're so tight kitten.” He smirked, he liked how well her body gripped his cock._

_As he began to move inside her, none to gently, she ran her hands through his scruffy blonde-brown hair. Her back hit against the cold, hard wall relentlessly as Jon thrust forcefully into her. Her hands now moved to fondle her breasts as he continued to fuck her, the sweaty blood from his head that was on her hands and her own blood smearing over the supple flesh, but Jon didn't mind, in fact, he found it a turn on._

_“ You look so hot all covered in blood, like a real man.” Her sultry voice broken by moans of pleasure._

_She flicked and pulled at her nipples as she felt her orgasm creeping up on her. Jon repositioned himself slightly and when he thrust into her he hit her spot perfectly. She came undone instantly, stars exploding before her eyes, her back arching as Jon thrust into her slower, letting her ride it out. With her tight walls clenching around him, Jon knew he couldn't hold out much longer. He gave everything he had into his last few thrusts before dropping his head to her shoulder as he released._

_He slowly pulled out of her and rid himself of the used condom. He pulled up his trunks as she retrieved her discarded top and readjusted her skirt so she was once again covered up, if only barely. Both of their breathing was laboured as they straightened themselves out._

_“ Thanks Mox.” She smiled lazily._

_“ No problem, my little speed demon.” He replied before capturing her mouth in one last searing kiss, gently biting her bottom lip as they parted._

_She walked out of the room as casually as she had entered, and that was the last interaction she had had with Jon Moxley._

* * *

“ Just an accident when I was young and stupid.” She said quickly as she came out of her daydream.

Her eyes glanced over at Dean, his face was showing no signs of recollection. 

“ Must have been one hell of an accident.” Dean said, his trademark smirk gracing his lips, but still his eyes gave no hint of realisation. 

She hoped to God that he didn't recognise her as the girl from CZW who was high on speed when she flounced into his locker room. She was quite a bit skinnier then, an effect of the drug, and she had blonde hair, so there was a good chance he wouldn't.

“ Yeah.” She simply said, relieved that no one pressed further.

A couple of hands later and Jey had lost his shirt and Paige her beanie hat, the temperature in the room had had to be turned up a few degrees to compensate for everyone's lack of clothes.

Roman watched as Madison leaned into Seth, she was pretty drunk by now and when she complained of being cold the Iowan had wrapped his arm around her and pulled her tight into his side. Roman didn't like it, but he tried to ignore those feelings.

“ My feet are cold.” She whined as she reached for her socks and began to pull them back on.

“ That's cheating!” Alicia complained.

“ If she puts hers on, then I'm putting mine on.” Cameron joined in.

“ God calm down! Can I keep the socks if I lose the bra?” She grinned, only vaguely aware of the heat rising to her cheeks as her brain seemed to process what she had just said.

“ Yes!” Dean, Seth and Jey all exclaimed at once.

Paige started a 'take it off' chant. Madison smirked as she caught the steel grey eyes of Roman, who seemed to be willing her not to. In her alcohol fuelled brain she was mad at him for seeing her in such a vulnerable state yesterday, even though the part of her brain that remained rational knew he couldn't have known. She was even more pissed off that he had tried to kiss her. Sure, they had never set out rules for whatever they had going on between them, but in her book, kissing meant way more than sex. That might seem like a backward way of looking at it to most people, but from Madison's experience sex was a given, kisses were earned. In her inebriated state she told herself that she was sick and tired of men trying to control her, to tell her what she could and couldn't do.

Fire burned in her stomach as his eyes almost pleaded with her not to. She moved an arm behind her back and deftly flicked her fingers to unclasp the hook, she looked down at her own chest as she shrugged the straps from her shoulders and slowly removed the material, completely exposing her full, soft breasts. She didn't really know why she was doing this, she blamed the alcohol, she had always kept herself covered up, unless Benji ordered her to strip. Madison was very careful not to meet Roman's eyes now, she wanted nothing more than to see his reaction, but she didn't want any of the others to get suspicious.

Roman watched, a scowl on his handsome face as those perfect breasts were exposed, the pink buds of her nipples already on point. He caught himself before he licked his lips at the delicious sight. He had no control however, on the twitch than ran to his cock, he was infinitely glad in that moment that he was still wearing his jeans.

His eyes bored into the top of her head as she refused to raise it up. Roman heard his unmarried cousin make an appreciative holler that these were 'non-family boobies'. He watched as every face in the room showed a little shock that this had been done voluntarily.

“ Shit Mads, are those real?” Paige said, immediately lunging forward and taking the pert breasts in her porcelain white hands; a move almost every guy in the room wished they could get away with. 

“ They fucking are!” The Brit exclaimed after releasing her friends' flesh.

Madison giggled before leaning back down into Seth's side, he once again wrapped his arm around her, making sure that his hand was on her waist and not touching her naked breasts. However, when she turned in to wrap her arms around his slim waist, it caused the hot flesh to press against his exposed torso. The two-toned superstar shifted his legs so that his knees were raised in front of him, just in case he needed to hide an embarrassing situation, should it arise.

“ Hey Maddy, you should show more flesh in the ring. I don't know why you cover up so much, your body is smokin' hot!”

Madison didn't answer Naomi, she just buried her head in Seth's neck, a blush rising to stain her cheeks red.

Roman watched the brunette hold her body against his friend and a flash of jealousy stabbed his heart. He once again scolded himself, but ever since he had found her crying in that corridor he had felt something other than lust for the newest Diva, he felt protective, he wanted to look after her. He closed his eyes briefly and tried to focus his thoughts on his wife and child.

“ Do you think your boyfriend would like you cuddling up to Seth like that?” Alicia asked seriously.

“ Oh boo! She ain't got a boyfriend no more. That ass turned up to Smackdown last night with another girl. She's free to squish her titties against anyone she wants to.” Cameron explained.

Roman's eyes shot open at this and caught Madison's glare at Cameron, rage evident in her eyes. He thought Madison was going to erupt, he had seen that first hand on more than one occasion and knew how ferocious she could be. He watched as Seth pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head, the brunette seemingly calming at his touch.

“ Sorry girl, my bad.” Cameron apologised, a genuine look of sorry on her face. As much as she loved to wind Madison up, she had a feeling she had over stepped the mark. To her surprise, Madison just shook her head and looked down.

“ I think I better head back to my room before I get any more naked.” Madison tried to show some humour in her voice, but it didn't work.

The atmosphere in the room had changed, there was an awkwardness in the air and Madison just wanted to go to bed.

“ We better be heading off too, yeah guys?” Seth looked at his former team mates expectantly. “ Get dressed and we'll walk you to your room.” Seth gathered up Madison's clothes and handed them to her as she began to dress.

“ Ever the gentleman Seth.” Dean teased as he also pulled his clothes back on.

The four were soon dressed and saying their goodbyes. As they walked slowly back to Madison's room, her leaning on Seth for support, she could feel Roman's eyes on her. When they got to the room Madison used the key card and headed inside.

“ I'll be two minutes guys.” Seth excused himself and followed his friend into her room.

“ Don't put yourself down Sethie boy, I'm sure you can last longer if you really try.”

“ Fuck you Dean!”

When Seth entered the room he saw that Madison was already sprawled out on the bed. He grabbed a glass from the bathroom and filled it with water, placing it on the bedside table. The pretty girl's eyes fluttered open and she smiled sweetly.

“ You okay Princess? We can talk about it if you want.”

“ You know I'm not the talking type, but thank you.”

“ No problem, get some sleep.” He knelt down and placed a kiss on her forehead before leaving the room.

* * *

As the three men walked back to their own rooms, Dean gently ribbed his friend about being in the drunken Divas room. Roman didn't want to get involved but he knew it wouldn't stop playing on his mind otherwise.

“ So Seth, what is going on with you and Madison?” He kept his voice light and playful.

“ Nothing. I know her from Ring of Honor, which you know, we were close back then.”

“ Close? Like, you were fucking?” Seth coloured slightly above the line of his beard at Dean's crassness.

“ No, no, just friends. She was only eighteen. I think she had a crush on me, but she was with Benji, and then she got suspended for drug use and I kinda cut all ties. I didn't want it to impact on my career. I guess I feel guilty, I just wanna look after her.”

“ I'm shocked! It's not like you to fuck over your friends on the way to the top!” Dean laughed and Seth sucker-punched him.

Roman had more important things on his mind.

“ Drugs?”

“ Yeah, speed I think.” Roman saw Seth's sad face and noticed Dean smirk, although he had no idea why this was amusing him. “ I should have noticed, but I just thought she was hyperactive. I could have helped her. She didn't have anyone looking out for her, her life was pretty shitty at that time.”

“ How so?”

“ Not really my place to say, I've already said too much. But I should have helped her.”

“ There's no use beating yourself up man, she's alright now, she made it.” Dean tried to appease his friend's worry.

“ I just wonder how much of her made it and how much got lost along the way.”

As they went their separate ways to their rooms Roman couldn't help thinking about what Seth had said about parts of Madison getting lost along the way. He found everything about her intriguing, and not all of it in a good way, he was pretty sure Seth was right, that she was broken in some way. The more time he spent with her; with their friends and the times they spent alone, the more he wanted to protect her, to fix her. He assumed that the state he had found the Diva in the previous night must have been to do with her and Benji breaking up, and he found himself wanting to comfort her, and not just physically. This was weird, he had only known the girl a couple of months.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Just a short chapter - a little re-bonding between Madison and Seth**
> 
> **In case anyone wants to know, the title is from a _Versus the World_ song, _Love Every Scar_**

The next morning everyone had a sore head, the alcohol from the night before had really taken its toll. 

It was late when Roman, Dean and Seth met downstairs for breakfast, almost eleven. They grabbed bacon, eggs and other foods that they hoped would make them feel better, along with copious amounts of coffee, before sitting down in a booth.

“ Has anyone seen Madison this morning?” Seth broke the comfortable silence.

“ Nah man, I went to the gym about nine and she wasn't there, that's about the time she'd normally be there.” Roman explained.

“ Yeah well, she was pretty damn drunk last night, she's probably sleeping off a hangover. I mean, I know I've not known her as long as you Seth, but she was acting pretty out of sorts last night.”

“ Yeah I know, I'm worried about her, especially after what Cam said about Benji. I think I better go see her. I'll catch you guys later.”

Seth left his friends and headed to the reception desk where he told them he had lost his room key and given Madison's room number to get a spare, it was surprisingly easy. Once they had given him one he headed up to her room and let himself in quietly. 

Although the curtains were still closed there was enough light for him to make out the shape of Madison's body on the bed. She was still dressed in what she had been wearing the night before, lying on her side with her back to the door, and Seth could hear the quiet sniffles coming from her and realised she was crying. 

“ Hey Mads, it's me.” He said, not wanting to startle her.

“ Hey.” She said, her voice quiet and sad.

He didn't bother asking her anything else, he just walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge behind her. He placed his hand on her hip and squeezed gently, just silently letting her know that he was there for her. She brought her left hand up and placed it over his, her body shaking slightly with the small sobs. Seth didn't know what to say, Madison had never been much of a talker, but he just wanted to comfort her. So he did what felt right, what he would have done six years ago, before anything had come between them. He lay down behind Madison and moulded his body to hers, spooning her. He wrapped his right arm around her waist and pulled her tight into his chest. He felt slightly awkward doing this, their friendship hadn't quite gotten back to where it used to be, but he felt this was probably what she needed rather than him bugging her with questions. When he felt her lean back into him, he knew he had done the right thing.

“ Just like old times, huh? You looking after me when Benji cheated on me.”

“ I'll always look after you Madison.”

“ Not always Seth.” She said sadly, and Seth knew she was referring to when he had turned his back on her. Her words had no malice or anger in them, just sorrow and truth.

“ I know Madison, and I'm so sorry for that. I was selfish.”

“ I don't blame you. You didn't need to be connected to a drug addict.”

“ I needed to be there for my friend.”

“ You're here now.”

Seth hugged her a little tighter at this statement, her crying had stopped, thankfully.

“ What happened Maddy? With Benji?” He didn't want to ask the question in case it angered her, but he needed to know.

Madison knew Seth, she knew what he was really asking, what he really wanted to know, and she didn't have the energy to pussy foot around it.

“ He was getting back at me because he saw that photo of us that Cameron put on Twitter, from the pool party.”

“ But we were just messing around.” 

“ Seth, you know how he feels about you, you know what he can be like.” Madison said, referring to only the small parts of what Benji was like that Seth knew about, that he had witnessed back when she was at ROH with him.

“ Mind games. He just loves to fuck with your head, I wish you could see that. He wants to control you.” Seth's voice wasn't angry, if it had been, Madison surely wouldn't have let his statement go; his voice was just sad.

“ I'm lost Seth.”

“ No you're not. You have me now, and Dean and Roman, and Naomi.”

“ I've lost Benji, I'm probably gonna get in trouble for botching the ending of my match on Smackdown and to top it all off I get drunk and get butt-naked in front of the only friends I have. I'm so fucking embarrassed.”

“ To be fair, you're butt was the only thing that wasn't naked!” He was pleased when he heard a small laugh from the girl in his arms. “ Plus, you have nothing to be embarrassed about, you looked hot.”

“ _Don't_ Seth.”

“ Come on Maddy, learn to take a compliment.”

“ No, I can't face anyone now, why did I have to get drunk? Can't you see why I need Benji, I need him to tell me what to do. When I'm on my own I make stupid fucking decisions like last night. I fucked up, I wish I'd never left Pennsylvania.”

“ Don't say that.”

Madison stopped talking, she didn't want to discuss it anymore, she had already said more than she intended to. For right now, she was just content with being held. The feeling wasn't something she was used to, Seth was the only person who held her like this, and he hadn't done it in six years. 

Soon she was drifting off to sleep, Seth stayed with her for a couple of hours, just to make sure she was okay, but he thought he had better leave before he fell asleep too.


	15. Chapter 15

The next day the snow had melted enough for them to leave, Madison changed her flight as soon as she woke up, she knew what she had to do. She left before the others, they had all meant to be on the same flight to Florida, but Madison wasn't going back to Florida, she was going to Pennsylvania. When she arrived at the city she had once called home she switched her phone back on and saw that she had missed calls from Seth and Naomi, and a couple of text messages from Seth.

_Maddy, where are you? We need to leave for the airport in 10 minutes!_

_Is everything okay? Just let me know you're safe._

She felt bad that she had made him worry, but she knew she couldn't tell him where she was.

_Sorry, overslept, missed flight. Had to book another. See you soon._ She replied.

_OK as long as you are safe_

Madison didn't like lying to Seth, especially after the way he had been there for her the day before, but she knew that if she told him to the truth about where she was, he would try to stop her.

It felt strange being back in Pittsburgh, she had left four months ago and not returned since. She picked up a rental car and decided to take a drive past her childhood home before going doing what she was here to do.

As she reached her old street her heart started to hurt, she missed her parents so much, even though nine years had already passed, it never got easier. She put the car in to park across the street from her house, the tree house that her father had built when she was nine was still there, looking as sturdy as ever. Madison's heart leapt a little when she saw a little girl climb down the ladder, her hair in bunches and her dress muddy, just like Madison's always used to be. The little girl's Dad was waiting at the bottom for her and scooped her up into his arms, placing a kiss on her head. Madison had to leave, she pulled the car out of the street a little faster than she should have.

Her final stop was the dingy apartment block where she had spent so many years of her life. As she ascended the three flights of stairs necessary to her destination she passed a few people she knew, mainly people she didn't really want to associate with, they exchanged polite hellos. Soon she was at the door she wanted, before she could knock, it opened and a blonde girl appeared. Madison soon realised that this was the girl from Smackdown, the girl who had been kissing her boyfriend.

“ I wouldn't bother, he's in a bad mood.” The girl informed Madison, scooting off quickly down the hallway.

Madison steeled her nerves and made her way inside. This was something she had to do, and if Benji was in a bad mood, well, maybe that was what she deserved. She walked through the dark apartment, wanting to open the blinds, but not daring to, Benji liked the darkness. 

She didn't find him in the lounge or kitchen, so she headed on through to the bedroom, _their_ bedroom. As she stood in the doorway she saw Benji sitting on the bed in just his boxer shorts, his eyes darted up to her and a sneer formed on his lips, around the cigarette that was dangling from them.

“ What do you want, you whore?” He cocked his head to the side expectantly, there was a dark look in his eyes that Madison didn't like.

“ I want a second chance Benji, I need you. I'm lost without you.”

“ You want a second chance? And tell me why I should give you one?” He stood up, but didn't make a move towards her.

“ Because I love you. Because I can be better.”

“ You think you can stop acting like a little slut? Is that what you're trying to tell me?”

“ Nothing happened between me and Seth, I promise.”

“ Wrong answer!” He shouted, throwing the television remote that he had in his hand at her, it cracked her on the side of he face, bringing tears to her eyes.

He instantly was at her side, he stroked his fingers down the side of her face, over where the object had hit her. His touch was gentle and loving and Madison longed to feel more of it.

“ I'm sorry Maddy, I didn't mean to do that. You just make me so angry, trying to make excuses for yourself. Now, answer my question.” He placed a kiss to her jaw line as his fingers cupped her chin.

“ Yes. Yes, I can stop acting like a slut.” The tears now ran freely down her cheeks, where Benji wiped them away.

“ Good. And what are you going to do to make it up to me?” He grinned at her, like the Cheshire cat, the cigarette still burning in between his lips.

“ I'll do anything.” She said, her voice quiet and unsure.

“ Right answer.” He replied before taking the cigarette from his mouth and stamping out on the soft flesh at the hollow of Madison's shoulder.

She let out a scream, but he swallowed it as he placed his mouth over hers, kissing her passionately. The pain was soon forgotten as Madison wrapped herself around him and let herself be carried over to the bed. She had Benji back, her Benji, that was all she ever needed. Madison tried to ignore the fact that the sheets already smelled like sweat and sex, she couldn't bear to imagine the blonde girl from before in this bed with her man.

Once they had reconciled, Benji took his phone from the bedside cabinet and took a selfie of them, Madison only showing the right side of her face, the side that didn't have a swollen red mark and a cut from where the remote had connected with it. Madison's hair was messed up and she had a glow to her skin, it was very obvious what they had been doing only moments before. Benji posted the photo to Madison's Twitter account with the caption _Nothing better than catching up with my man #truelove #missedhimlikecrazy”_

Madison was only aware of what he had done after the fact, and she knew that Seth and the others would see it and probably have a thing or two to say about it. Oh well, none of that mattered now she was back with Benji, she didn't have to worry about anything anymore.

* * *

Seth, Dean, Roman, Jimmy and Naomi had gone out to lunch when they got back to Florida. They were now sitting in a round booth sharing a couple of pizzas, it was cheat day after all. Cameron had rushed home to see Vincent and Jey had gone to pick up his kids from school. 

Talk got around to the night before last when they had played strip poker.

“ I was so not expecting Madison to get her boobies out like that!” Jimmy exclaimed.

“ You weren't complaining.” Naomi ribbed her husband good-naturedly.

“ Nah, but I just didn't expect her to do it, you know, it doesn't seem like something she would do.”

“ It's not.” Seth said, sharply.

“ She'd had too much to drink, we can all get a little crazy sometimes.” Dean reasoned.

“ Yeah, it can't have been easy what happened with her boyfriend.”

“ Cameron had no right to tell everyone that, I told her so as soon as you all left.” Naomi sounded a little pissed off at her friend.

“ I'm glad she said it to be honest, Madison would probably never have told me otherwise. I just wished she hadn't missed her flight.”

“ You worry about her huh?” Jimmy asked the two-toned man.

“ Yeah, she's like my little sister. I'm glad her and Benji broke up though, he's no good for her.”

“ Yeah, I don't even know the guy and I agree.” Dean added. “ Hey big man, you're pretty quiet, what's up?”

Truth was, Roman was thinking about Madison again. He wanted to talk to her, to clear the air between them after the blow-out they had had at Smackdown. He wanted her to know that he didn't blame her for hitting out at him like that, and he wasn't mad about any of the stuff she had said, after all, it was all true. He had hated to see her crying like that, saying that she was a bad person and a slut, he wanted her to see that she wasn't either of those things. He wanted to get Benji and punch him repeatedly in the face, but he knew he couldn't.

“ I'm fine, just tired.”

“ You heard from Kayla?” Naomi asked.

“ A little, she's pretty busy with her Aunt.”

Naomi knew from the tone of Roman's voice that she shouldn't push the subject further. Instead they started talking about what they were going to do with their days off. 

As they were talking Seth was checking his Twitter feed and Roman decided to text Madison, he couldn't not.

_Hope you're doing okay, hope to see you soon. Sorry that I upset you on Tuesday night. Ro x_

Roman knew it was a pretty lame text, but he didn't know what else to say. He couldn't exactly tell her out of the blue that he couldn't stop thinking about her.

“ You gotta be fucking kidding me!” Seth exclaimed loudly all of a sudden and they all looked at him incredulously.

Seth didn't explain what was the matter, he just thrust his phone forward into the middle of the table so they could all see what was on it. It was opened on Madison's latest tweet, the photo of her and Benji.

“ She didn't miss the fucking fight, she went to Pittsburgh!”

“ I don't understand why she'd do that.” Naomi sounded worried about her new friend.

“ Because she's fucking addicted to him. He's bad news. But she's been with him since she was like sixteen, he's all she knows. I don't even know why I'm surprised.” Seth was fuming with Madison.

“ Sixteen? How old's he?”

“ He's thirty. He was twenty-one when they got together, pretty weird, huh?”

“ Yeah, that is weird. Why would a twenty-one year old guy want to go out with a sixteen year old?” Jimmy asked, his face wrinkled up as he screwed it up in disgust.

“ Because she was easy prey! He can control her . . . at least that's what I think.” Seth exclaimed.

Roman was seething inside, how could Madison want to get back with him after how he had made her feel at Smackdown? He knew he had no right to tell her who she should and shouldn't be with, it's not like she could be with him, he was married. All the same, it didn't stop him wanting to kick the living shit out of that ass hole boyfriend of hers.

They all went their separate ways once they had finished eating, all of them not in the best of moods due to either worrying about Madison, or being utterly pissed at her. They only had one more day off to enjoy before it was back to work, and they wanted to make the most of it.

* * *

Luckily for Madison the text from Roman arrived when Benji was in the shower, otherwise he would have likely wanted to see the message. When Madison saw who it was from she felt a strange twinge in her stomach, almost like she had butterflies. She couldn't believe that Roman was apologising for upsetting her after all way she had acted towards him, she was the one who should apologise. As she was deciding whether or not she should reply to Roman, she heard the bathroom door open and so she quickly deleted the text.

“ Do you wanna go into town or something, I could take you for some lunch.” Benji suggested as he was drying himself, and Madison agreed quickly.

She couldn't believe how he was acting, it was almost like he was the old Benji again, who used to kiss her all the time and tell her she was beautiful. Of course, there were times when he had been angry back then, even when they first got together, but he always made up for it afterwards. Madison took her make-up out of her bag and began to cover up the cut that was on her cheekbone and the red marks around it, she didn't want people to get the wrong impression, Benji hadn't done it on purpose.

When they had had lunch and were wandering around the shops, Madison caught sight of a familiar face; Corey Graves was out shopping also, with his wife and daughter. 

“ Hey Madison. Bet you're glad to be back home after that snow storm?” Corey asked good naturedly.

“ Yeah, definitely.”

“ We're just doing some Halloween party shopping. You guys are welcome to come if you're around.” 

Madison felt Benji's hand on her lower back and knew that she had to reject the offer, even if it did sound like a lot of fun.

“ I'm pretty sure I'm in Florida over Halloween, thanks for the invite though.”

“ No problem. See you Monday.”

“ Yeah, bye.”

As they walked a little further down the street Benji pushed Madison into an alley between two shops. He backed her against the wall and pressed his body to hers.

“ Who the fuck was that?” He growled.

“ Corey Graves, he's on the commentary team.”

“ Seemed friendly.”

“ I guess so.”

“ He usually that friendly?”

“ I don't know, I don't really speak to him much. Anyway he was with his wife and kid, and I'm with you.”

“ Yeah, good job huh?” He sounded sarcastic and Madison didn't like the implication.

She wanted to remind him that that morning he was the one who was in their bed with another woman, but she couldn't. Especially as she had been cheating on him with Roman, the thought made her sick. If Benji acted how he did over one photo with Seth and was acting strange over a perfectly innocent conversation with Corey, then how would he react if he ever found out about her and Roman. She dreaded to think, she needed to keep well away from Roman, she definitely couldn't respond to his text, even though she really wanted to.


	16. Chapter 16

Roman spent the weekend thinking about Madison, he didn't know what could be going through her head to make her want to go back to someone who had been so disrespectful as to kiss someone else right in front of her, and on television. A stab of guilt hit his chest when he thought that he was being just as disrespectful to Kayla, only he wasn't being as blatant about it. As he mulled over this, his home phone rang.

“ Hello?”

“ Hey Roman, it's me.”

“ Kayla, how are you? It's good to hear your voice.” And it was true, Kayla was his wife and he loved her, he just couldn't seem to shake the feelings he was having for Madison.

“ I've been better. It doesn't look like Aunt Ellie has long left at all.” He could hear the crack in her voice and his heart broke for her.

“ Oh baby, do you need me to be there.” No matter what he had done, he would always be there for her.

“ No, it's okay, you need to be at work. I'll let you know if I need anything. I just wanted to call and say that I know things haven't been the best between us for a while, but I do love you Roman.”

“ I love you too KayKay. Are you alone up there?” He didn't like thinking of his wife all alone with her dying Aunt.

“ No, my Uncle is here, and my cousin's. My Mom and Aunt Ellie lost touch with them a while back, but I managed to contact them. It's good getting to know them all.”

“ That's good. I'm glad someone's with you.”

“ Me too. Anyway, I better get back. I'll call you soon, okay?”

“ Yeah, Love you Kay.”

“ Love you too Ro.”

Knowing that Kayla had family around her made him feel a little easier about her being away, but he still felt guilty. He didn't know what these feelings he was having towards Madison were, sure they got along, and the sex was great, raw and animalistic, but he really didn't know her all that well. Then there was Kayla, the woman he had been married to for four years, they had been really great together, and he did love her, but the spark seemed to have gone. Maybe that was all it was, because the spark had gone with Kayla he had been chasing it with Madison, maybe that was all it was. He really should try and forget about the Diva and concentrate of getting his marriage back on track.

* * *

* * *

Sunday morning came around too quickly for Madison, her and Benji had spent an amazing two days together. They had watched movies, been shopping and she had cooked for him; he hadn't gotten angry at her again and Madison had enjoyed the closeness she thought they had lost. The house show on Saturday night had been cancelled due to bad weather, but tonight's was going ahead and so Madison had a four and a half hour drive ahead of her to Cincinnati, which meant that she had to set off before midday.  
The newly reunited couple had spent all morning in bed before Madison had had to force herself to get up and showered.

“ I wish I didn't have to go.” 

“ You don't, you could stay here.”

“ I'd get in trouble.”

“ Then just quit your job, I can provide for us.” 

Madison's heart started pounding, she couldn't quit her job. And even if she didn't care so much about her job, Madison knew that she couldn't live a life that was funded by the very stuff that ruined so many others.

“ I love my job Benji. Please don't make me give it up.” There was pure pleading in Madison's eyes, she would beg if she had to, she couldn't let him take away her dream.

“ As long as you behave when you're there, then I won't.” He gave Madison's jaw a tight squeeze, hurting her slightly before kissing her gently on the lips.

“ I will.”

“ Good, that's my girl. And Madison . . . if you disobey me again, you will regret it.” Benji's words sent a chill down her spine, but she knew she wouldn't betray him again, this weekend had been too good to jeopardise.

“ I won't disobey you. I'll see you Wednesday. Love you.”

“ Love you too Maddy.” He gave her one last kiss before she jumped into the car and she was on her way.

That morning when Benji was in the shower she had received a text from Seth asking if they could talk later, she had quickly replied saying that they had got nothing to talk about and that she was fine, before deleting both messages. Since then, he hadn't replied.

* * *

Seth had arrived at the arena early; he, Dean and Roman had flown together from Orlando the night before as Dean had wanted to meet up with some of his old buddies while he was in his home town. 

They were now sat in catering enjoying an array of what food they had to offer. Seth looked up from his Piri Piri chicken to see Naomi and Jimmy walk in, their faces extremely serious, Jey and Cameron followed them in soon after.

“ What's up with you guys? You're in Cincinnati, home of the fearless, you should be overjoyed!” Dean laughed as he beat his chest.

“ I'm guessing none of you have checked Twitter today.”

“ Nope, why? What's happened?” Roman asked his cousin's wife, he had a bad feeling.

Seth also had a bad feeling, he thought the next words out of Naomi's mouth were going to be that Madison and Benji had gotten engaged, or that Madison had quit WWE to go back to Pittsburgh.

“ I can't even . . .” Naomi started, but couldn't seem to get the words out.

“ Just take a look.” Jimmy said as he passed his phone to Roman, his voice dark and serious.

Roman unlocked the phone and saw that Jimmy's Twitter page was on Madison's profile where someone had posted a link to a video, a wave of fear washed over the Samoan, but he had no clue why. He, Dean and Seth huddled together so they could all see what had gotten their friends so agitated. 

As Roman pressed play it took a while for their eyes to focus, even though the video quality was pretty good, the scene was dark. They soon realised that they were looking at a video of a bar, it seemed to be focused on two girl's dancing, but after a second of two it panned over to a couple. 

The man in the video seemed to be getting up in the woman's face, waving a phone in front of her, as though he were showing her something. Then all of a sudden he shoved his phone into his pocket and grabbed the girl's hair in his fist, slamming her back against the wall as he did so. It was then that the person filming zoomed in and all three of the men watching let out a gasp as they realised that the girl in the video was Madison and the man was Benji. 

Roman wanted to put the phone down, didn't want to see the rest of the video, but he couldn't make himself look away. Benji was shouting at Madison now, but the video didn't pick up any words, his hand came up and grabbed around her throat and they could see the terror in their friend's eyes as her air supply was cut off. After a minute or so the hand released Madison's neck, but then it was slapped across her face, her head snapping to the side suddenly. They watched as Benji moved to whisper something in Madison's ear before he grabbed her wrist, twisting it behind her back as they moved towards the exit and out of shot.

None of the friends said anything when the video ended, they were all too shocked. They had known that Benji was an arrogant ass hole, but to hit her? 

Dean was getting fidgety, as he always did when he was anxious or wound up. He really liked Madison, she was a sweet girl, a little damaged, but now he knew why. He knew he had seen something in her that made him think that she was never truly comfortable in their group of friends, she found it hard to let herself be happy, and Dean understood that. He had been there. He and Madison had a lot in common and over the last couple of months they had gotten close. Dean had done a lot of things in his life that he wasn't completely proud of, but hitting a woman was something that he had never and would never do, it was abhorrent to him. He had seen his Mom get knocked around by enough bad guys to know that it wasn't acceptable.

Roman was angry, he wanted to find Benji and beat him in to the ground more than he had ever wanted to hurt someone. He was not a violent person per se, despite what his career choice may allude to, but right now his while body was shaking with the need to hurt Benji. Fighting against that was the overwhelming urge to grab Madison and wrap her in his arms and make sure no harm could ever come to her again.

Seth felt sick. He felt sick from what he had seen on the video, he felt sick knowing that Madison had had to go through that alone, and he felt sick because he should have seen it, should have known. Sure, he had known that Benji was a prick and he had had suspicions that he tried to control Madison, but to actually physically assault her? He had thought it was a possibility on the day of the pool party, but Madison had set his mind at ease, he had believed her. How wrong he had been. Even if the others hadn't noticed, he had seen the date stamp on the video, it was the same day as that party, and Seth knew this was his fault, Madison had already told him that Benji had been angry about the photo that Cameron had uploaded. He couldn't take this, he needed to talk to Madison, even if she had told him earlier that they had nothing to talk about.

* * *

About half way into her journey Madison had stopped for a bathroom break. She had taken out her phone to check her Twitter feed and clicked on the link that a fan had sent to her. Her whole world crumbled apart when she saw what was on the video, her breathing started getting shallow and she had been shaking. Before anything else she reported the link to the administrators and switched her phone off, maybe if it was off then she could convince herself that this hadn't happened. 

After taking a few deep breaths in the crisp air, she got back into her car and drove the rest of the way to the arena. Her mind was going at a million miles an hour, she wondered how many people at work had seen it, how many fans. Had Dean? Roman? Seth? She wanted nothing more than to drive past the exit for Cincinnati and just carry on driving, but she knew she had to show her face. Maybe she could tell everyone that it had been a joke?

Soon enough her Sat-Nav was telling her to pull into the arena parking lot, the drive had flown by in a blur. As Madison parked the car she checked that her sunglasses were in place, covering up the bruise that had formed around her eye and over her cheekbone before steeling her nerves. She emerged from the vehicle and was glad that no one else was in the parking area. 

As she entered the arena she immediately saw Seth, leaning against the wall, he stood up straight when he spotted her as though he had been waiting for her. Madison hoped that this was to do with him texting her earlier and didn't mean that he had seen the video.

When she got closer to him she saw that his body was practically vibrating and his eyes looked on the verge of tears and Madison knew. She quickened up her pace and tried to walk past him but he shouted her name, and the way his voice sounded made her stop in her tracks. She turned to face him and he approached her, his hand came up to stroke across the side of her face. He grabbed the sunglasses and before she could stop him he had taken them from her and the look in his eyes made Madison want to run away; never before had she seen so much care and affection directed at her.

“ Did he do this?” Seth said, looking at the bruise and healing cut on his friend's face.

“ I can't do this Seth, I have to get ready for my match.” She pulled away from him and headed for make-up.

* * *

She was glad that none of the other Divas were getting their make-up done at that moment in time. She sat in the chair and let the ladies do their magic. When they were applying it to her eye area she winced a little, it was sore, but she needed it covered up.

“ Got it in training, wasn't fast enough to get out of the way.” She said, her voice sounding forced even to her. She had no idea if they believed her, she didn't know who had and hadn't seen the video.

Before her match a member of the production team informed Madison that Stephanie McMahon wanted to have a word with her, she was terrified. When she entered the office she saw Stephanie standing bedside her desk, looking beautiful and glamorous as usual.

“ Hey Madison.”

“ Hi Stephanie. You wanted to see me?”

“ Yes, it's come to my attention that a video has been posted of you online, as I'm sure you are aware. I need you to talk to me Madison. I can call the police right now, we have the evidence, we can make sure you never have to see this man again.”

Madison panicked, if Stephanie did call the police and they arrested Benji, then he would soon get out on bail and he would be furious with her. She had to make sure that that didn't happen, and what was a white lie or two?

“ No, it's fine. I never have to see him again anyway, I broke up with him. He knows not to contact me, and what will happen if he does.” She tried to make her voice sound strong and confident, like Stephanie.

“ Madison, I won't let someone get away with treating one of my Divas like that. He deserves to be locked up.” There was genuine concern in the boss' eyes and it made Madison feel bad.

“ I know, but to be honest, I would really like to forget about what happened and move on. I don't want to have to go through a court case. Please Steph, I just need to forget about it.”

“ Okay, I'll leave it for now, but we will probably have to release some kind of statement regarding it, now it's out there online.”

“ I understand.”

“ And if he contacts you again Madison, or threatens you, you have to tell me straight away.”

“ I will. Thanks Steph.”

Madison left the boss' office feeling a little uncomfortable, she was glad that she had already been to make-up so that Stephanie hadn't seen the marks on her face, she knew that she wouldn't have been able to explain them away this time.

Thankfully Madison managed to avoid everyone until her match. The match itself was with Sasha Banks, it was a good match, but Madison could tell that Sasha was acting differently than normal. They had never spent much time together, but Sasha seemed to be overly cautious with how she was handling Madison. She let it go, there was no point trying to bring it up, everyone had surely seen the video by now, so she could only expect people to act strange around her.


	17. Chapter 17

As soon as her match had finished she drove to the hotel that the roster were staying in, not even bothering to change out of her ring gear. She showered and removed the thick make-up she had been wearing before pulling on a black cotton dress. She lay on her bed to try and collect her thoughts, but her head was still spinning, she didn't know how she was going to face everyone at Raw; today had been bad enough and it wasn't even a full production. She found herself turning her phone back on and saw no messages or missed calls from Benji, surely he would have something to say about the turn of events, maybe he was just keeping his head down.

Despite the link to the video having been removed from Twitter, it didn't take Madison long to find it on the internet, it seemed many WWE forums were discussing it. With some kind of morbid fascination Madison found herself watching the video over and over, studying every single movement and facial expression. She looked like a scared little girl, it made her sick. She was a strong woman, a trained wrestler, and there she was frozen stiff, terrified of the man in front of her, not even fighting back. Why hadn't she done something? Everyone was going to think she was weak. The nausea she felt didn't subside no matter how many times she watched the video.

There was a knock at her door, Madison found herself opening it without even looking through the peep hole. She was relieved to see Roman there, part of her thought it might have been Benji, and the more she watched the video, the less she wanted to see him. 

Roman looked angry, but when he saw the marks on Madison's face his eyes softened and he brought his hand up to cup her cheek, running his thumb over the bruised skin. His hand moved lower and traced the skin of her exposed shoulder, over the healing burn mark from Benji's cigarette, Madison had forgotten all about that.

“ You should have told one of us.” His voice was as gentle as his touch and Madison felt herself melting.

She couldn't look him in the eye, she was terrified of what she would see there. The way he was touching her now was nothing like how he usually did, she turned around so her back was to him, suddenly afraid that he would try to kiss her again. She heard him walking towards her and felt his arms slip around her waist, pulling her into his chest. His mouth came down to her neck and started trailing open mouthed kisses over it, his lips felt like heaven against her skin. Madison knew that she had promised herself she would stay away from Roman, but this felt too good.

Roman turned her around in his arms, and she didn't protest, even when he tipped her head up with the tips of his fingers. Her eyes settled on his plump lips, slightly parted, his breaths coming in pants from between them, she could feel the expelled air on her own mouth. She thought he was going to kiss her, she couldn't let that happen, but she couldn't move away. Her eyes travelled upwards and finally locked with his, the intensity she found there was startling. Madison noticed something else.

“ Your eyes . . .”

“ What about them?” He whispered.

“ They're brown!”

The corner of his lip twitched slightly. “ I don't have my contacts in.”

The spell was broken, Madison pulled back quickly.

“ Roman I can't . . . this . . . it's too real.” She mumbled and saw the disappointment in his eyes.

“ What difference does the colour of my eyes make?”

“ I don't know, it's like it's the real you. I just . . . can't. I can't deal with it.” 

With that she pulled on some shoes, grabbed her room key and scampered from the room, leaving him all alone in her hotel room. She had no idea where she was going, only that she needed to get away from Roman. She had almost let him kiss her, she had been so consumed with the feeling of him that she had let her guard down. All she wanted to do was go back to her room and carry on, but she couldn't. Despite what she had told Stephanie, and despite his lack of contact, she was with Benji. 

She could feel the all too familiar ball of fire building in her stomach as she wandered the streets of Cincinnati alone and she needed the release before it consumed her. The memory of the video playing in her head, mingling with Benji's harsh warning from this morning and contrasting with the feeling of Roman's hands and mouth that she could still feel ghostlike on her body was making her feel totally out of control.

Up ahead Madison saw a bar, she knew she could find a release in there; drugs, sex or physicality, that's what she needed and right now, at this moment she didn't care which one. 

In a way it felt like being drunk, being so out of control but also hyper aware of every sound and sensation. She threw open the door and scanned around the area. She walked to the bar and ordered a glass of wine, once she had paid she decided to have a look around, see if she could see anyone she could get to help her in whichever way they could. As she walked through the bar a group of girls passed her and one accidentally bumped into her, almost making her spill her drink. Bingo!

“ Watch it you dumb bitch!” Madison yelled at the girl, who looked startled.

The girl was about Madison's age and seemed unnerved by being shouted at in public, she was slight and probably no use in a fight, but Madison was sure that her three friends would back her up, and a four on one situation would surely get Madison what she needed.

“ What did you say to her?” The largest of the four girls spoke up first, she was about three inches taller than Madison and a little bigger, but Maddy knew that she could still take her.

“ You heard me. You little friend needs to watch where she's walking. Wouldn't want her to get hurt now would we?”

“ Is that a threat?”

“ Do you want it to be a threat?” Madison cocked her eyebrow and the taller girl stepped forward, getting up in her face.

* * *

Dean was having a good time catching up with his old friends, it wasn't often that he got to do this. He needed to blow off a little steam after what he had found out earlier, and then he would go and talk to Madison, when he was a little calmer. Seth had been pretty upset when he had come back to them after his attempt to talk to her, and Dean didn't like his friends to be upset. He needed to talk to Madison and help her and then that would make Seth happy, then both of his friends would be okay. 

As he was drinking his third beer he heard some commotion start somewhere near the bar area, he tried to ignore it. One of his friends came back from getting a drink with a smirk on his face.

“ There's a cat fight going on down there, four on one, I'm betting on the one, she looks feisty.” He chuckled and the rest of them stood to take a look at what was happening.

Dean's heart started racing as he saw who the feisty one was, Madison.

“ Guys, it's been great, but I gotta go. I gotta deal with this.” He said, waving his hand vaguely in the direction of the soon to be fight. He had to push past a couple of people who had gathered to apparently watch and had no intention of trying to calm the situation down or break up the fight that might ensue.

“ Do you want it to be a threat?” He heard Madison say and he was a little impressed at the cocky way she spoke, he had only heard her like that before in the ring.

Dean watched as the tallest of the group of friends squared up to Madison, and just as the first fist was about to be thrown he launched forward and grabbed Madison around the waist, lifting her slightly off the floor and carrying her to the back exit of the bar.

“ Nothing to see here.” He said as he went and the spectators soon dispersed.

When he got out into the cool air he put Madison down and stood in front of her, his hands on her upper arms.

“ What the fuck do you think you're doing? Four on one?”

“ I could have taken them.”

“ Totally not the point. You're in the public eye now.”

“ I don't give a shit Ambrose, leave me alone.” He could see Madison trembling with what he assumed to be adrenaline, or rage.

“ Nah, no can do. What's gotten in to you?” He squeezed her arms slightly, hoping to reassure her. This wasn't what he meant when he said he was going to talk to her later.

“ Nothing. Leave me alone!” She pushed him off of her with surprising strength. If only she could have done that to Benji. He thought as he steadied himself. “ Dean I can't handle this right now.” Her chest was heaving with each breath, her nostrils flaring and complete and utter rage sparkled deep in her eyes. “ I can't deal with it, I cant, I just can't.”

“ What do you need?” He asked seriously, she was scaring him.

“ I need to fight, fuck or get high, now if you can't help me Ambrose, then get the fuck out of my way.” She gave him another shove, but this time when he righted himself he moved towards her and smashed his lips against hers.

* * *

As soon as their lips met Madison felt the electricity running through her, the fire in her belly burning through her veins, knowing that it's release was imminent. She didn't even know why kissing Dean was different in her mind than kissing Roman would be, maybe it was because she had done it before. She let his hands explore her body and she pushed hers underneath his t-shirt to run along the smooth muscles of his stomach. He ran the fingers of his right hand up her thigh and they came to rest on the outside of her underwear, massaging her sensitive flesh through the thin material.

Madison brought her hand from out of his shirt and grasped the bulge in his jeans, palming it and making a sensual moan escape from Dean's lips.

He slipped his hand inside of the underwear as she undid his belt and the fastens of his jeans. The fact that they were outside of a club where anyone could easily come out and find them had completely slipped out of her mind, all she was aware of was Dean, his touch, his smell, his taste. His finger pushed into her and she moaned gratefully, this was exactly what she needed. 

She pushed Dean's jeans and underwear down past his ass to let his throbbing erection loose before she slipped her own underwear down and kicked them off her legs, they landed somewhere to her left, but she didn't care. She watched intently as he pulled a condom from his pocket and deftly rolled it on before he lifted her up by her thighs and pressed her against the wall with his torso. When he slid his cock into her warm pussy she let out a groan, he filled her so well.

“ Mmm still so tight kitten.” He said as he set a steady pace.

It took Madison a second to connect what Dean had just said to anything in her brain, but then it hit her, and the feeling sparked her body with delicious heat.

“ You remember?” She asked as she looked into his eyes.

“ Of course. How could I forget the pretty little blonde that hunted me down and let me fuck her while covered in blood.”

Even though it was a part of her life that she would rather forget, hearing Dean say those words was a huge turn on. Madison closed her eyes and concentrated on the sensations that were running throughout her body, the fire touching every inch. When she came it was like the rage she had been feeling earlier was being drained from her, she wrapped herself around Dean as her body shook with the aftermath of her orgasm. He thrust into her a few more times before he too succumbed to his climax. 

He kissed her once more, biting her lip slightly as he had done all of those years ago. Madison had to suppress a giggle as she thought that that was probably one of his signature sex moves.

“ Thanks Mox.” Madison smirked as she straightened her dress, she decided to leave her underwear wherever they had landed.

“ No problem, my little speed demon.” He grinned back as he tied a knot in the condom and threw it in the direction of the dumpster. “ Now, let's get you back to the hotel.”

* * *

They walked to the hotel slowly, neither in any rush to get back, Dean wanted to take the opportunity to talk to her and make sure she was okay, but the silence between them right now was peaceful and comfortable. He took off his leather jacket and placed it over Madison shoulders.

“ You know, that was the night I decided I needed to stop.” She said out of the blue, and Dean knew exactly what night she was referring to.

“ I was that bad, huh?” He smirked and she laughed.

“ No, not at all. But after I left your locker room, I passed out, woke up in hospital covered in blood, getting stitched up.”

“ So, basically I fucked you unconscious?”

Madison giggled at the triumphant look on his face, but a sadness lurked behind her eyes.

“ Sorry, I didn't mean to make a joke, it's just kinda what I do.” Dean had noticed that it maybe wasn't the time for humour, but he couldn't help himself sometimes, it was how he reacted to feeling uncomfortable.

“ It's fine, it was the wake up call I needed. I would never have made it here if I was still taking that shit.”

“ So, what you're saying is, sleeping with me was the best decision you ever made?”

“ Something like that.” She smiled.

They fell into step beside each other, making their way back to the hotel, surprisingly there was no awkwardness despite what had happened between them less than a half hour ago. Madison pulled Dean's jacket tighter around her to protect her from the wind.

“ So how come you ended up in care?” Dean asked out of the blue.

“ How do you know I was in care?”

“ Come on, a beautiful girl all broken and damaged, not letting her guard down fully with anyone, something happened to you. Anyway, it takes one to know one.”

“ I didn't know that about you.”

“ Exactly, we're pretty similar you and me.” 

“ Is that why I find you so easy to talk to?”

“ Maybe.”

“ My parents died in a boat accident when I was sixteen.”

“ A boat? Were you rich or something?”

“ No, no, they were on holiday. They rented out a speed boat and ended up being smashed into by a group of guys on a bachelor weekend.”

“ That sucks. You an only child?”

“ Yep, so were Mom and Dad, so no Uncles or Aunts. My Grandparents were already gone, so no other choice.”

“ Then you fell in with a bad crowd, got into drugs, fell for the bad boy and the rest is history?”

“ Well, Benji came before the drugs, he's the one that started that shit, but you were pretty close. I'm such a cliché.”

“ Well, you need to put all that behind you now. You can't keep going back to him, after what he's done. You did the right thing when you got rid of him before.”

“ Technically he got rid of me.”

“ Either way, you need to be free of him. You don't need to be around that shit, especially here, it'll just drag you down. You know they don't take that shit lightly.”

“ I know.”

“ It's not that easy, huh?”

“ Exactly. But when I watch that video I just see some pathetic, weak girl, and I don't wanna be that girl anymore.”

“ You don't have to.”

“ I know.” They fell into a silence again, this one a little less comfortable, but not unbearable.

“ What was the matter with you tonight anyway? The way you stormed into that bar, I thought you were gonna shoot up the place.”

“ It's nothing. I just sometimes get this anger that I can't calm, it kinda takes over me. Like red mist I guess.”

“ Yeah, I used to get like that. Still do sometimes. You just gotta channel it into your matches.”

“ That's alright for you to say, you go against six foot whatever monsters, they can take it. I know the girls are tough, but when I go, I really go.”

“ Come train with me then, I wouldn't mind you roughing me up a bit more.” He grinned and Madison realised that they were at the hotel already.

They rode in the elevator and stopped at Madison's room.

“ Thanks for tonight Ambrose.”

“ My pleasure, really.” He winked. “ And whatever it was that got you so angry, you don't have to tell me, but going to a bar to 'fight, fuck or get high' as you so eloquently put it, probably not the best way to deal with it.”

“ Yeah I know.” She smiled.

Dean leaned forward, putting his hand on her arm and kissed her. It wasn't a heated kiss, he didn't even try and slip in his tongue, it was a sweet kiss and it made her feel safe and calm. He smiled before walking on further down the corridor to go to his room. Neither one of them noticed Roman leaving the elevator and seeing them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Oops . . . couldn't resist some more Dean smut. Hope you guys aren't mad :S**


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **More smut . . . naughty Madison**
> 
> **I'd love to hear what you guys think of the story so far**
> 
> **Thank you to mstwinpeaks for your comment, it really means a lot. I hope I don't disappoint**

Ten minutes later there was a knock at Madison's hotel room door, she thought that was strange, as she hadn't ordered room service, and it was pretty late for anyone to be calling by. She headed over and opened the door and came face to face with Roman, well, more like face to chest. He breezed into the room and shut the door behind himself.

“ What the hell are you doing? What if someone saw you?” 

“ You're fucking Dean now?” He demanded, completely ignoring her concern of him being seen.

“ _Excuse me?_ ”

“ I saw you just now, kissing out there.”

“ And that means I'm fucking him? Tell me Roman, did he actually come into my room? While you were spying out there.”

“ Well no, so what was that kiss about?” His eyebrows were raised as he glared at her, expecting an answer.

“ I did fuck him actually, but I don't see how that's any of your business.” She didn't see the point in lying to him. As she spoke she saw anger flash across his face and in that moment he looked quite scary, this huge man being angry at her. “ Do you not fuck your wife? How is this different? You don't seem to care when it's Benji I'm with.”

“ So you're _with_ Dean?”

“ I didn't say that.”

“ So, _what_?!”

“ I was angry, so I went to a bar, Dean was there. It's not like it's the first time.”

Madison wasn't really sure why she had said that, there was being honest and then there was being too honest. 

“ What do you mean not the first time?”

“ _Fuck_! It was like a million years ago, back on the Indies. I don't even know why I brought that up, I was just angry! Anyway, I don't need to explain myself to you, even if I was _with_ him, how is it any different to me being with Benji?”

“ Because Dean is my friend.”

“ So, I'm allowed to fuck around with whoever I want, as long as they aren't your friends?”

“ Yeah! . . . No!”

“ Come on, which one is it? I just wanna make sure I'm clear on the rules. Would you mind writing me a list of your friends, just so I can be sure.” She knew sarcasm wasn't the best route to take, but he was pissing her off, he had no right to tell her that she could or couldn't sleep with someone. Even though standing up to him like this was against her nature, she couldn't seemed to help it.

“ Stop it Madison. You're so fucking infuriating.” Roman stepped forward towards her and Madison instinctively flinched. “ Don't you do that, don't you treat me like that ass hole, I would never hit a woman.”

Roman took a step back now, shocked at her reaction. He hadn't thought that he might look intimidating to her.

“ I'm infuriating? How can you say that? You're the one coming in here telling me what I can and can't do. You're more like him than you know.” Madison could feel the burning in her chest once more, rage trying to break free and be let loose on Roman. She tried to calm her breathing but it wasn't happening. She could see the anger in Roman's face too, even if he wouldn't hit her, it looked like he sure as hell wanted to hit something.

“ I'm nothing like him! I'm not telling you what to do. I just wanted to know what was going on. I walk out of the elevator and see you kissing someone. . .”

“ So that's what this is about? It's not that I fucked him, it's that I kissed him?”

“ Yeah, maybe it is. . .”

Madison felt the anger kick up a level and she launched herself at the Samoan, not caring that he was about twice the size of her. But instead of tackling him or hitting him, when she reached him she crashed her lips against his. Her hands resting on his chest as she moved her lips against his.

Roman was too in shock at first to do anything, but after a couple of seconds his brain switched back on and he slipped one hand around Madison's waist and the other gripped into her hair gently as he slipped in his tongue.

This kiss was lasting far longer than Madison intended. She pushed back on his chest, a slight sting in her head as his fingers disentangled themselves.

“ Is that what you fucking wanted Reigns? You happy now?!” She shouted.

As she was saying it she realised what a mistake she had made, she now couldn't stop looking at Roman's lips, she wanted another taste. This was bad. Roman didn't answer her question, he merely stepped forward and grabbed her by the waist again, pulling her body into him and capturing her lips once more.

Madison melted into the kiss, letting Roman's tongue explore her mouth. She began to undo the buttons on his shirt, their lips still attached. He backed her towards the bed and she lay down as he shrugged off his shirt and pulled down his sweat pants, she could see where his erect cock was tenting his underwear and a shiver ran down her spine. 

She and Roman had had sex four times, and not once had she actually seen his cock. She took in the sight of him, his golden skin glistening in the dim light of the room and she couldn't even stop herself when she reached up and tugged on the waist band of his underwear. Roman took the hint and took them off too, leaving himself completely exposed to her, and what a beautiful sight it was.

Roman knelt on the bed and his eyes ran over Madison's body, she immediately felt overdressed, and when he reached over and took hold of her dress, she willingly let him pull it from her, leaving her just in her bra. This was completely new territory for Madison, if her body hadn't still been running on adrenaline from earlier on, then she most certainly wouldn't have let this happen. 

Her body tensed when she realised that his eyes had fallen on her scar, the torn flesh completely exposed to him. Even though he had seen it during the game of strip poker, this felt different, Madison was sober for one. She felt for sure that the sight would repulse him despite how often he had run his fingers over it; so she was more than shocked when he lowered his head and placed a soft kiss to it, before kissing all of the line that he could reach.

When he pulled his head back, Madison instinctively moved to turn over, so that her back was to him, as would normally happen with Benji, and how she had always made sure it was with Roman. He stopped her with his arm.

“ No baby girl, I wanna see you.”

Madison's heart started beating erratically, although she had had sex with Dean face to face only an hour or so ago, this felt different, incredibly different. She had no idea what she was doing, how she had gotten herself here, but she couldn't stop. She let Roman push her gently back so she was completely on her back. He crawled up the bed so that he was holding himself over her, and he kissed her deeply, as his tongue was exploring her mouth, he pushed his cock into her and she let out a low moan into his mouth.

His movements were slow and sensual; he brought one hand up to her face and once again ran his thumb along the bruised skin, Madison didn't know how much of this she could take, it was so gentle and loving. No more words were exchanged between them, just heavy breaths and deep kisses. Roman took hold of her thigh, speeding up his pace a little until they were both panting heavily. Madison had never felt so completely wrapped up in someone than she did at that moment, and it terrified her. 

He once again quickened the pace and Madison could feel herself building to her peak, Roman moved his head to kiss down her neck and as he reached the hollow of her throat it all became too much for Madison and she let go, letting out a half-scream as she came. Roman soon followed, his hand sliding up her body to rest on her scar, his fingers trailing across it as he too came before pulling out and collapsing alongside Madison on the bed.

For a couple of minutes Madison lay still, not thinking, not speaking. Then all of a sudden a hundred thoughts entered her brain. She shouldn't have done that, Benji would kill her if he found out, especially after he had warned her this morning. 

Guilt crept in, guilt for cheating on Benji again, guilt over Roman cheating on his wife. She was also disgusted at herself for sleeping with both Dean and Roman in less than two hours, she had slept with three men in twenty-four hours, Benji was right, she was a slut.

“ Roman, I think you should go.”

“ Seriously?”

“ Yes.” Was all she could get out, she felt tears spike her eyes.

Roman got up and pulled on his clothes as Madison did the same.

“ Madison, please look at me.” Roman said sadly when the woman in front of him wouldn't meet his eyes. “ Fine, don't. I just want you to know that you're really special, we all think so, and you shouldn't let anybody tell you different.”

“ Please just go.” Madison voice was pleading, she couldn't cope with those words.

“ Fine, but just promise me one thing . . .”

“ What?”

“ You'll talk to Seth. He really cares about you, he loves you Madison, and he can't deal with you blocking him out all the time. Just tell me you'll talk to him.”

Madison couldn't speak, she knew that her voice would betray her if she did, she just settled for nodding her head, still not looking up, she knew Roman was looking at her and saw. It seemed to be a good enough answer for him, as she heard the door shut gently and she let the tears escape.

* * *

Madison lay awake the whole night, her mind working in overdrive. A freight train of thoughts kept running round and round her head, she felt like she saw going insane. The glow of the street lights through the hotel room curtains was still too bright, the room was too hot, even if she opened the window and let the chilly air from outside in, she couldn't get comfortable no matter what position she lay in. And all the while, the thoughts were running a constant stream through her mind.

Firstly, the video. That video had a lot to answer for. How was she going to face everyone at Raw tomorrow? Would the fans say anything to her? She hadn't dared to go back onto her Twitter since that afternoon for fear of reading the comments. Most importantly, what would she say to Benji? Would he think that she had had anything to do with it being put online? He hadn't contacted her all day, she wondered what he was thinking. Despite the thought of the video making her feel physically sick, she still loved Benji. Even though he had made her act like a weak, scared little girl, she still couldn't help but want to go and see him and make sure everything was okay between them. At the same time, she didn't want him anywhere near her ever again, the thought of his hands on her body made her skin crawl. The conflicting emotions were doing battle all night long in her head.

Then there was Dean. He had calmed her down tonight, given her what she needed. She knew she had a friend she could rely on with him, she could tell him anything and he wouldn't judge her, wouldn't be mad at her, he accepted her for who she was. But who was she? Was she the confident drugged up bombshell who had propositioned him in his locker room all those years ago? Was she the WWE Diva who could do battle with the best of them and impress every time? Was she the loyal girlfriend who would do anything to make her man happy? Was she the dirty cheat who was only after what made her feel good? Or was she the scared, vulnerable woman who she had seen in the video? Madison didn't even know anymore.

Next was Roman. He had been a way to get the release she needed when she was frustrated and needed calming down, then in the elevator she had sensed that he had needed the release and she had been there for him as he was there for her. But now? Now she had crossed a line, she had kissed him, let him kiss her, she had looked into his eyes whilst he was inside of her and she had felt something, had she not? She had felt a connection, and not just the connection of their physical bodies. She had felt a deeper connection that terrified her; she had felt safe, she had felt protected. And now she found herself thinking that it was a shame she couldn't ever let it happen again.

Finally, there was Seth. Sweet, caring Seth. The concern in his eyes when he had tried to talk to her before the show had unsettled her. She had let him care for her when they had been in Ring on Honor, but so much had happened since then. Madison felt abandoned by him, but at the same time she now understood why he had had to distance himself from her, it still hadn't stopped her from feeling deserted back then though. Of course, she had forgiven him for that now, but the walls had already been built, the trust she had once completely had in him was gone and it would take a lot more than a look of concern to build it back up, if it could be salvaged at all.

Madison wanted nothing more than to be part of a family again, a family that her new friends seemed to want her to be a part of, but she couldn't let herself be. She wasn't that girl. It wasn't in her nature to be surrounded by people who loved her. The only people who had ever truly loved her were her parents and Benji, and they had all let her down. Her parents had abandoned her, left her all alone in this big, scary world. Madison knew it wasn't there fault, they weren't responsible for what had happened, but she was still angry. And Benji, Benji was the one, he always had been, but he made her feel weak and helpless sometimes. Madison wasn't stupid, she knew that her relationship wasn't normal, wasn't like other people's, but that didn't stop her going back time and time again, despite what he did, despite how he made her feel.


	19. Chapter 19

Madison was still wide awake as her alarm clock sounded at seven thirty, letting her know it was time to get ready and head to the gym; she couldn't face it this morning. She was exhausted, and she wanted to be around other people as little as possible today. She headed for the shower, hoping that it would maybe make her feel a little more alive. 

Once she was out she pulled on some PJ's and stretched out on the sofa that was in her hotel room, just as she had turned the TV on, there was a knock at the door. She dragged herself over to it and looked through the peep hole to see Roman standing outside, a coffee in his hand. Madison felt a tug in her chest and knew she couldn't open the door.

* * *

Roman stood outside Madison's room, the coffee he had bought her warming his hand nicely. Last night had been incredible, seeing the look in her eyes as she had come apart had sparked something inside him, something that he felt had been building for weeks. Every other time that had slept together she had ensured her back was to him, but last night was different, she had finally let him kiss her, well, she had kissed him. It was what he had been thinking about for a while now, and it was everything he wanted it to be, but still, there was something so sad, so vulnerable in her eyes after, when she had asked him to leave, that he had just wanted to bundle her into his arms and keep her safe.

After standing there for ten minutes he finally gave up on Madison ever opening the door. He knew she wasn't asleep, he had heard her shuffle over to the door when he had first knocked. Maybe it was too soon for him to be trying to get her to open up to him, but he really wanted to know more, she intrigued him so much.

* * *

Madison breathed a sigh of relief when Roman finally got the message and left, she couldn't face him this morning and she had decided that she needed to keep as much distance in between them as possible. To take her mind off the Samoan she decided to ring Benji, he still hadn't been in contact with her and it was starting to worry her. He finally picked up after three attempts.

“ Madison, I don't have time for this.” He said in an annoyed tone.

“ Benji, please, I . . .”

“ No, leave it Maddy. Did you have something to do with that video?”

“ How would I have had something to do with it? It's just someone after their fifteen minutes.”

“ Bullshit. You happy now? You made me look like a bad guy, they only got half of the story. It doesn't show you wrapped around another man, it doesn't show you testing my patience at every goddamn turn.”

“ I know Benji, I'm sorry. I talked the bosses out of pressing charges.” She tried to placate him, but it just made him more angry.

“ _Pressing charges_ . . . against me? Are you fucking serious?”

“ They just mentioned it, I said there was no need.”

“ Too right you fucking did. Are you trying to piss me off Madison?”

“ No Benji, I'm sorry. I love you.”

“ Nah, that's it. I've had enough.”

“ What do you mean?” The tears that had formed at the start of the conversation now overflowed from her puffy eyes.

“ I mean that I can't deal with that company Madison, I can't deal with our relationship being public fucking property. You have to make a choice. I can't be with you if you carry on working for WWE.” With that Benji hung up the phone.

Madison dropped her head to her knees, which were tucked up against her chest. How could she have been so stupid? All she had to do was behave and he had promised he wouldn't make her quit her job, her dream. Now she had gone and fucked it up. 

Madison needed to talk to someone, although it went against every fibre of her being. Really, she needed to talk to Seth, she had promised Roman that she would talk to him, but he would just be so disappointed. Instead, she text Dean.

* * *

Roman had been to the gym and was heading back to his room for a shower. He would probably go and check on Madison first, although he very much doubted he would get a response any different to the one he had received earlier. 

As he exited the elevator and turned to head right down the corridor to Madison's room, he saw that Dean was already there. His friend didn't even have to knock, the door had been left on catch so he could just open it. Roman couldn't help the stab of jealousy he felt, how could Dean be let in but he couldn't? He damn sure hoped that Madison hadn't let Dean in so that she could fuck him, as she had admitted to doing last night. The unwanted thought made Roman's blood boil, even though Dean was one of his very best friends.

* * *

As soon as Dean entered her room he pulled her into a hug, it was strange, she hadn't expected such an act of pure comfort from the Lunatic Fringe. He kissed the top of her head and let her out of the hug, holding her at arms length so he could take a look at her.

“ You look like shit.” He smirked.

“ Thanks.”

“ So, what's up? Well, I guess I kinda know what's up, but y'know what I mean.”

“ I just didn't know who else I could talk to.” She admitted.

“ That's cool. I mean, am sure there is, Seth, Naomi, Roman, but I'm glad you feel you can talk to me.”

“ Stop being nice, I like you better when you're an ass hole.”

“ And I like you better when you're screaming my name in a dirty alley behind a club, but you don't always get what you want . . . oh wait, I totally did.”

“ Fuck you Ambrose.” Madison smiled, she liked Dean better this way.

“ If only your fanboys knew that there's some of your dirty panties outside of a club in Cincinnati, there'd be a riot to get there and claim them.”

The look on Madison's face was one of pure shock at his words.

“ Let's not even think about what your fangirls would do if they found your rubber.” She shot back.

“ Eugh, that's gross. Thanks for that.”

“ No problem.” She grinned triumphantly. 

For a few seconds it was quiet between them, Dean knew that Madison had asked him here to talk about something specifically, so he was giving her the time to build the courage to bring it up, he had a feeling this wasn't easy for her. He guided her over to the couch and sat them both down.

“ Benji wants me to choose . . . between him and my job.”

As the sentence left Madison's mouth she felt a little relieved, she felt like she needed someone to talk to about this. The look on Dean's face flickered between confusion, anger and sorrow.

“ And you're seriously considering it?”

“ I don't know, maybe.” Even saying the words hurt, she didn't want to give up her dream, but she didn't know if she could live without Benji.

“ How long have you dreamed about being in the WWE, being at the top of this business?” He asked her, his face not joking around anymore.

“ Since I was about sixteen, so nine years.”

“ Nine years you've been working, sweating, putting your body on the line. And you're finally here. You're probably gonna win the Divas title in the next year, that'll make you number one in the world Madison. Number one. Now, how long have you been with Benji?”

“ The same, nine years.”

“ And in that nine years, and tell me honestly, has he made you as happy as this job had made you?”

Madison thought about it, about all of the highs and lows of her career, and about the highs and lows of her relationship; when put plainly, the answer was obvious.

“ No.”

“ Surely there's your answer.”

“ But I need him.” Madison's voice was quiet.

“ Madison, you don't need him. He needs you. He needs you under his control, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a tough guy. Nothing would feed a guy like his' ego more than having a woman like you under his control; a woman, who to the outside world is the epitome of beauty and strength. Can't you see that?”

Dean was pleading with Madison to see it how he saw it, how he knew most other people would see it. He also knew that it wasn't that easy for someone in Madison's position to accept what was so glaringly obvious to people on the outside.

“ I love him.”

“ I know you do kitten, I know.”

“ And he loves me.”

“ No, he doesn't. If he really loved you he couldn't hurt you like he has. He couldn't give you that bruise, or hit you across the face. You got people here who love you. Seth loves you, Naomi loves you, Roman loves you, hell, even I love you.”

“ No, that's not true. You can't love me, I don't want you to, 'cause that means you'll leave me, like my Mom and Dad.” Madison was crying now, tears of anger, her chest was heaving up and down with her breaths.

“ Hey, hey, calm down. I'm not leaving. They didn't leave you on purpose, I'm sure they'd be here with you right now if they could.”

“ I was meant to be there you know.” She said through the tears.

“ Be where?”

“ On that holiday with them. In that boat. I pulled out at the last minute because I wanted to go to my friend's party instead. I should have been there with them. I sometimes wish I had been.”

“ You can't think that Maddy. You didn't go for a reason, you're time wasn't up. You had more to give to the world.”

“ I would never have met Benji.”

“ True, but you wouldn't have met me either.” The cocksure smirk on Dean's face made Madison finally smile again.

Dean pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arm around her. Soon he could hear the steady breathing that indicated that she was asleep. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Seth, asking him to come to Madison's room. 

A couple of minutes later the door was pushed open, it had still been on catch. Seth walked in and gave Dean a confused look, his face screwing up slightly.

“ She needs us Seth. And you're better than me at this cuddling shit.” Dean smirked.

“ Dean, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me.” He laughed sarcastically as he swapped places with him, Madison only stirring a tiny amount, but not waking up.

“ I'm gonna head to the gym. Look after our girl, yeah?”

“ Hey, she was my girl first.” Seth gave Dean the finger before the blonde left the room.

Seth wrapped his arms tighter around Madison and kissed her on the head. He wanted more than anything for her to be okay. He wanted to protect her.

* * *

Roman bumped into Dean when he was on the way back to his room from getting some breakfast and Dean was on his way back from the gym, his hair wet from the shower.

“ Hey man, you alright?” The blonde asked, rubbing his head with the towel that was over one of his shoulders.

“ Yeah. We heading out in a couple of hours? It's gonna take an hour to get the arena.”

“ I'll be ready.” Dean smirked, knowing that his tardiness annoyed the Samoan sometimes.

Roman took a good look at Dean, his eyes seemingly trying to pierce into his brain and see what he was thinking. Ever since Madison had told him that her and Dean had had sex, and it wasn't the first time, he couldn't quite stop thinking about it. He didn't know what the hell was going on between Dean and Madison, but he didn't know what was going on between himself and the brunette either. His feelings were confusing him, and all he really wanted was to get to the bottom of what Dean felt towards her, but he couldn't just bring up that he knew they had slept together, as that would raise too many questions.

“ I saw you heading in to Maddy's room earlier. How is she?” He settled for this.

“ Not great. That jackass of a boyfriend has told her that he wants her to choose between him and her job, and I think she's seriously considering it.” Dean looked half pissed off and half upset, and Roman didn't like seeing his friend like that.

Dean's words sent a chill up the larger man's spine; Madison couldn't leave, he couldn't not see her almost every day. 

“ Really? She can't give up her dream like that.”

“ That's what I said, but who knows what she'll do, her head's pretty messed up as it is, and that video hasn't helped.” Roman was glad to see the same anger in Dean's eyes when he mentioned the video that he had in his every time he thought about it.

“ I wish we could do something, you know, like get rid of him.”

Dean laughed sharply. “ Roman Reigns, finally up for some real danger.” The blonde grinned and punched Roman softly in the arm. “ I know what you mean though . . . the things I'd do to that guy, he wouldn't know what had hit him. He'd never touch her again.”

“ Yeah, 'cause you'd probably cut his fingers off.” Roman laughed bitterly. “ You really seem to care about her.”

“ Yeah, don't you? She's like this little flower that I just wanna protect.” Dean laughed off his soft words.

“ Dean Ambrose talking about flowers. What is the world coming to? Something going on between you two?” Roman managed to keep his tone light and teasing.

They had reached Dean's room now, Roman followed him in so they could carry on their conversation.

“ Nah man, I mean . . . you can't tell Seth this, but I knew Madison a while back . . . about six years . . . I met her at CZW, well, when I say met, I mean it in the biblical sense.”

“ You and Madison?” Roman tried to sound surprised even though he already knew this information.

“ Yeah, it was only once. But anyway, like, she was fucked up, it was . . . you know how I used to be, back when I was Moxley . . . well, I don't know how better to put this, but it was Moxley sex, like perfect for who I was back then . . .”

Roman wasn't sure he wanted to hear this, sure, he knew that they had slept together, and he could live with that, but if Dean was going to start telling him details, he might have to bow out. Although, part of him was intrigued to know what Madison was like back then. Both Dean and Seth had now described her as 'fucked up' and Roman kind of wanted to know more.

“ That doesn't sound good.”

“ Depends what you mean by good.” Dean smirked. “ It's just strange, like, back then, she was this hyperactive, sexy, confident vixen, like, you have no idea. But that was the only time we saw each other. It was great, but that was it. And now, she comes here, and I meet her again and she's this quiet, self-conscious, wallflower. It's like, she's a totally different person, and I kinda feel like I wanna help her, like, help her reclaim some of that confidence or whatever.”

Roman listened to Dean's ramblings intently, even though they were disjointed at times, and he found himself loving his friend a little bit more. He hadn't ever seen this side to Dean, this caring side. Sure, when he or Seth were banged up, especially in the Shield days, Dean would look after them if he needed to, make sure they were okay, but this seemed different. Now Roman was really worried that Dean felt something for Madison, and that would be bad, because Roman would never stand in the way of his friend, but he also didn't want to have to back off from Madison, especially after last night.

“ Then I was at this bar last night, and Madison came in and tried to start a fight with these four other chicks. It was like she had her confidence back, but it wasn't confidence, it was like anger. I have no idea what caused it, but it was pretty scary.”

Roman knew what had caused it; he had, somehow the colour of his eyes had enraged her so badly that she had to go to a bar and try to get into a fight.

“ Whatever it was, it got her angry. It was lucky I was there, I pulled her away from them and . . .” Dean groaned like he didn't want to keep talking, he rubbed the back of his neck. “ Well, I kinda fucked her . . . you really can't tell Seth. I don't even know what happened, I just kinda felt like she needed me.”

“ You fucked her in the bar?” Roman was shocked, he assumed she had been to Dean's room or something.

“ Well, not in the bar . . . out the back. I'm not gonna deny, it was hot, up against this wall, just like the first time.”

“ Spare me the details Dean.” Roman finally found it too much.

“ Sorry.” Dean shrugged.

Roman was annoyed that it had seemingly been so different with Madison and Dean than it was between himself and her. She had let Dean kiss her, something that Roman had only managed last night. He found it strange to be fixated on the kiss, but it seemed like a big deal, like Madison hadn't wanted to give away her kisses, even when she seemed quite happy to give away her body. He also found himself a little jealous that Madison had let Dean be there to calm her down, when that was usually their thing. Or was it? Hell, Roman didn't know. Maybe this was just something Madison did, maybe there was a bunch of guys that Madison took her frustrations and anger out on, what made Roman think he was so special?

“ So, are you into her?” Roman was almost scared of the answer.

“ Nah, not like that. I care about her, sure, we all do. But I don't wanna be with her or anything, and it's not like she wants to be with me either.”

Roman was relieved at this, it was one less thing to feel guilty about.

“ Is she still with Benji?”

“ I dunno man, I think she is, in her head she can't live without him. I just hate how he killed her confidence.”

“ She seems more confident when she's around you than the rest of us.” Roman said out loud what he had been thinking. 

This was why he was so worried when he found out Dean had slept with Madison; they seemed to have a chemistry that she didn't have with anyone else. With the rest of them, she was more reserved, even with Seth, but with Dean, they would throw insults back and forth and it was so different.

“ Yeah, maybe. I think I just get her, we just click. She knows that I understand her, what she's been through.” Dean said seriously.

Roman felt another stab of jealousy, he wanted to be the one that Madison clicked with, he wanted to be the one that Madison trusted. 

“ Anyway, enough about my non-existent love life. How's things with Kayla?” Dean asked whilst he gathered some of his things from the table in the room and packed them into his bag.

And just like that, the guilt was back. With Kayla in Canada it was sometimes too easy for him to forget about her for a while, that's why he was fixating on Madison.

“ You know, it's strange with her being so far away. But we talk, it's actually a lot better when we talk now.”

“ So, things gonna be back on track when she comes home?”

“ I dunno, maybe.” Roman couldn't elaborate further, somewhere deep in his increasingly selfish brain he was thinking that if things got back on track with Kayla, then he would have to stop seeking out Madison, and he didn't think he was prepared for that. “ Anyway, I'll leave you to pack. Otherwise you'll never be out on time.”

Dean laughed as Roman left the hotel room and he started to pack away his clothes.


	20. Chapter 20

Seth had received a text from Roman letting him know that they needed to be downstairs in one hour, he quickly text back to reassure his friend that he would be there and that he was just checking on Madison. She was still asleep in his arms, it was a fitful sleep with intermittent little moans and sobs and it broke Seth's heart. He brushed some hair away from Madison's eyes with the tips of his fingers, and her eyes fluttered open. There was confusion in her eyes when she focused enough to see who she was lying on.

“ Where's Dean?” She rasped.

“ He had to head to the gym, but I'm here.” He once again brushed her hair with his fingertips.

“ I'm glad you're here.” She said before snuggling down into his chest. “ This might be my last Raw.” She said, her voice still thick with sleep and Seth wondered if he had heard her right.

“ Huh? Your last Raw?”

“ Yeah. I think I'm leaving. Benji says that he can't be with me if I work here.”

Seth tried to hide the sudden burst of anger that exploded in his chest, he calmed his breathing, but he knew that Madison could probably feel his chest heaving up and down a little harder than before. He wanted to kill Benji in that second, more than anything else he had ever wanted. But he also wanted to take care of Madison and he knew that getting angry was not the best way to do that.

“ Because of me?”

“ Not just that. He doesn't like that our relationship is public property now.” The way Madison explained the situation to Seth made it sound as though she thought this was all normal.

“ So, he liked it better when he could slap you around and no one would care enough to put it on the internet?” Seth couldn't help the spiteful way his words came out.

“ It's not like that.”

“ Answer me one question Mads, did he cause that bruise and cut on your face?”

“ He didn't mean to.”

“ Sure he didn't, just like he didn't mean to slap your face and almost choke you out in a packed club because you dared to have fun with your friends.”

“ Please Seth, I can't . . .”

Seth saw how much he was upsetting Madison, that was the last thing he wanted to do, so he decided to change tact, he needed to be smarter about this.

“ Okay, I'm sorry. How about this, if this is really gonna be your last Raw, we just have the best time.”

“ How are we gonna do that?”

“ I dunno. We could put itching powder in Big Show's ring gear? We could hide Cesaro's belt? We could put food colouring in Summer Rae's shampoo?”  
Madison couldn't help but laugh.

“ That all sounds great. But I think I would rather just spend time with my best friend, before I have to leave again.” Madison's voice was sad, but her eyes were filled with love, and a few tears.

“ You don't _have_ to do anything.” He pointed out, not to anger her, just to try and make her understand.

“ I need to pack my shit up.”

“ You riding with us?”

“ You're gonna make me anyway aren't you?” 

Seth grinned and pulled Madison into another hug before he let her pack, leaving to grab his own gear from his room.

* * *

Soon they were all in the lobby, all except Madison. Seth had a sudden worry that she had ditched them and gone on the arena without them, he wouldn't put it past her. Just as he was about to voice his worries to his friends the elevator door opened and Madison walked out, looking incredible. She had on tight leather look trousers and a red vest top, her hair was wavy and her make up was perfect.

“ Hey lady, you seen my friend Madison on your travels? She's about your height and build but last time I saw her she looked like a pile of dog shit.” Dean shouted across the lobby and there was a glint in the woman's eyes.

“ Yeah I saw her, she told me to give you something . . .” Madison spoke slowly as she walked towards the three of them.

“ Oh yeah, what was it? A good morning kiss?” He grinned his impish grin.

“ Nah . . . just this . . .” With that Madison closed the space between them quickly, ducking down just as she reached Dean and spearing him full pelt in the stomach. The force threw both of them to the ground, Dean winded and Madison grinning.

The hotel staff and other patrons were staring open mouthed at the scene whilst Seth and Roman were trying their hardest not to laugh.

“ Next time just say 'you look nice Madison'.” Seth chuckled at his disgruntled looking friend.

“ Next time? Nah, there ain't gonna be a next time, 'cause I'm gonna end this right here.” He leapt to his feet and grabbed Madison up by the waist, chucking her over his shoulder. 

Madison was shrieking as he carried her out of the revolving doors, somehow managing not to crack her head on them, and over to the car. Roman grabbed Dean's bags and Seth grabbed Madison's from where they had landed in a heap on the ground, before following them out.

“ Even been power-bombed into a car wind-shield?”

“ Even been DDT'd onto the concrete?” She answered, wriggling to try and get her arms wrapped around his head.

“ Ever been suplexed into a MAC truck?” He said as he carried her over to where one was parked up.

“ Guys come on, we're gonna be late, and you know how Roman gets when you make us late Dean.” Seth laughed. He almost didn't want to stop them, Madison always seemed so alive when she was around Dean, so full of joy.

Dean did as he was told and let Madison down so her feet were firmly on the ground. He ruffled her perfectly quaffed hair, causing a scowl to replace the grin on her face. He then quickly called shotgun and jumped into the passenger seat, beside Roman. Seth and Madison climbed into the back and Seth pulled her into the middle seat and wrapped his arm around her. He definitely wasn't ready to lose her again, he couldn't let that happen.

* * *

When they got into the arena and they had had their usual brief regarding the show, Madison was asked to stay behind to talk to Hunter and Stephanie. She was apprehensive, mainly because she thought they would ask her about Benji again, maybe talk to her about going to the police, but it was okay because she could just tell them she was leaving and then they wouldn't have to worry about her anymore. She knew that they would probably point out that her contract still had several months on it, but she could buy herself out of it if she really wanted to, she had money saved up, not that Benji knew that. 

Once the other members of the roster had left the room, she made her way over to the bosses.

“ Hey Madison. How are you feeling?” Hunter asked, concern evident in his eyes.

“ Not bad, thanks.”

“ Good. Now, Steph has told me all about your chat yesterday, and if you don't want to press charges then that's your prerogative. However, nothing like this can happen again, I don't want one of my Divas getting hurt, or worse. I want you to attend a couple of counselling sessions with our guy and I need you to understand that if your boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, whatever he is, steps foot in one of my arenas, I will have the cops called immediately.”

“ I understand.” Madison nodded her head to confirmation her affirmation. She had never attended counselling in her life, but if she wanted to make it here, she had to. What was she thinking? Five minutes ago she was determined to leave this company, and now she was going to put up with talking to some shrink just to stay here.

“ Good. Now, I understand this is a tough time for you, but we want to talk to you about the Divas number one contender-ship tournament . . . we want you to go over. Obviously it won't be clean, as we want to progress you as a heel, however, you will be booked strong, you have our word on that. The tournament will take place over the next two weeks of Raw, and you will get your title match at TLC.”

“ Oh my God, that's amazing. Thank you.”

“ That's not all Madison.” Stephanie cut in. “ We are planning on you winning the Divas championship in the first ever women's TLC title match. We believe you and Sasha will do an excellent job of it.”

Madison was speechless, never had she thought that she would be winning her first championship less than four months after her main roster debut, and only five months since signing her actual contract. How could she tell them she was leaving now? She couldn't. And she didn't want to. The biggest accolade in women's wrestling was finally within her reach, after eight and a half years of toiling, even though she had messed up in the past. She couldn't let this opportunity go without giving it her all.

“ I don't know what to say.” She spluttered and the McMahon-Helmsley's grinned from ear to ear.

“ You don't have to say anything at all. Just show us that we chose well.” Stephanie smiled.

“ But . . . why me?”

“ Because you've earned it Madison. You work hard every single night, even with whatever has been going on in your personal life. We want you to have something to focus on, to channel your energy into.”

“ But know this . . . this opportunity has not been given lightly, and one wrong move could mean the creative decision is changed. None of us want that to happen of course, but it is a possibility.” Triple H warned gravely

“ Thank you both. I won't mess this up.”

They both shook her hand before she left the room, feeling on cloud nine. All she wanted to do was to find Seth, Dean and Roman and tell them all the news, but she had to head to make-up and get changed into her gear before her match. Seth had a match with Neville to open the show, so she knew he would be out there now, and then Dean and Roman were tagging against the New Day. She would catch them later and tell them whilst they drove to the next show.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Okay, so this chapter is some fluff, some bonding and some heavy conversation between Roman and Madison. Enjoy!**

Madison's match was second to last on the card, she was against Becky Lynch, one of her preferred opponents and they had a fantastic match. Cesaro against Kevin Owens was the main event and she wanted to watch it on the monitors, but she really needed a shower. Once she was clean and dry and changed back into her normal clothes she went hunting down the guys. The first one she bumped into was Roman.

“ Hey, where's Dean and Seth?” She asked abruptly, not wanting to have to spend any prolonged amount of time alone with the Samoan after what had happened the previous night.

“ Dean was pissed off over a botched spot in our match and he took something Slater said to him backstage a little too personally, so he kinda stormed out. Seth went after him to calm him down or whatever and they just text to say that they've jumped in with Breeze, 'cause you know how Dean likes to do stupid shit with him. So they're probably getting drunk in some bar already. Looks like it's just the two of us.” Roman was rambling, he knew he was, but he felt like he had to justify him and Madison being left to ride to the next city together.

“ Oh okay.” Madison hoped that her smile was genuine and didn't look like she had plastered it on to hide the fact that her stomach had been infiltrated by a swarm of butterflies.

Roman took her bag from her and slung it over his shoulder, Madison fell into step beside him as they headed for the car. She really wished someone would ask to ride with them to make the three hour journey a little less awkward.

Neither of them tried to start a conversation when they set off, Roman driving. They were both trying to think of things to say, but failing miserable. The message tone went on Madison's phone, she routed it out of her bag and looked at the text, it was from Benji.

_I want an answer tonight Madison. It's pretty simple, do you love me or don't you? Tick tock, tick tock_

She wanted to throw the phone out of the window. How could she choose? On one hand was the man she loved and the other was the job she loved, her calling. But was the choice even that hard? Since she had spent the best part of a night watching the video that probably hundreds of thousands of people had already watched, the thought of Benji sickened her. Yet he still had a hold over her, she still didn't know if she could live without him. She put her feet up on the dash and rested her head on her knees, wanting to block out everything.

If it had been Dean or Seth, Roman would have barked at them for putting their feet up in the car, but this was Madison. He didn't seem to know how to act around her anymore. Sure, they were friends, they had a laugh, they also had amazing sex. Sex which last night had been different, had been more intense and stirred something deeper in Roman. That unnerved him. He had already been thinking about the woman next to him almost constantly, as if that wasn't bad enough. When she let out a sigh and her head came to rest on her knees, Roman's resolve broke, he needed to comfort her. He placed his hand on her back, rubbing it up and down soothingly.

Madison arched her back, half flinching and half because of the spark of electricity that she felt as soon as Roman's hand touched her. 

“ What's wrong Madison?” His deep voice was etched in concern.

Madison was quiet for the longest time, Roman thought that maybe she had drifted off to sleep and hadn't heard him.

“ Why isn't Dean here? I need to talk to him.” She eventually moaned quietly and Roman sighed.

“ I know that Dean gets you better than anyone, but he's not the only one you can talk to Madison.”

“ He is.”

“ Look, I'm your friend first and foremost, despite what might have happened between us, I'm still your friend.”

The thoughts going around Madison's mind were likely to drive her insane if she didn't air them soon, she could already feel that ball of anger building in her stomach, and she knew what happened with that when she was around Roman. She had promised herself she would keep away from him after the weirdness the previous night. Maybe talking a little wouldn't hurt.

“ I'm gonna win the championship at TLC.” She stated simply, somehow starting from the end.

“ That's awesome Madison! Why do I sense that that's not all?”

“ Benji has given me an ultimatum; him or my job.”

“ I see.” Was all Roman said, Madison had been expecting him to go mad, especially after how she had seen him the night before.

“ That all you're gonna say?”

“ Well, it's not really any of my business, is it? It's your life.” His calm tone was masking his internal anger and turmoil well.

“ You weren't saying that when you saw me kissing Dean.” She spat, although she really didn't want to bring up what had happened.

“ That was different. Look, I can tell you until I'm blue in the face that you shouldn't go, that Seth'd miss you, Dean'd miss you, that _I'd_ miss you, but what good will it do? I can tell you over and over that the company giving you the championship after such a short time is a fantastic opportunity that isn't just handed out to anyone, but what is it going to change? You'll still do exactly what you want. I think you'd be crazy to leave the company right now, to put all your eggs in that . . . lowlife's basket, but you aren't going to listen.”

“ You sure paint a pretty picture of me.” Madison couldn't help but smirk, even though there were tears forming in her eyes.

“ That's just the way it is. I think I know what this business, what this opportunity means to you, but if what you want is to be with Benji, then that's what you're going to do. Who am I to stand in your way?”

“ You're supposed to be my friend. You said you were my friend.” A few tears spilled over, rolling slowly over her face as she turned to look at him.

“ Is that what you want me to do? You want me to stop you?” Roman looked away from the road briefly to see the look in her eye, his heart almost broke when he saw the pleading there, he knew that she wanted him to try and persuade her to stay. “ Fine Madison . . . leaving the WWE now, especially for someone like Benji, is a stupid idea. You're an amazing wrestler, a great story teller, you're stunning, you deserve so much more. You deserve to be the Divas champ, and in a few short weeks you get that, but only if you stay. I know it'll be hard, to turn him down, but we're all here for you. If you're scared, we can protect you, you're not alone anymore Madison.”

His words hit her right in the chest and she almost couldn't breathe with the weight of them, the truth in them, the love behind them. She turned her head back to her knees and let the tears fall silently, taking in what he had said. Neither of them spoke again for over half an hour, the low sound of the radio the only noise in the car apart from their breathing.

“ Hey, you hungry? There's a great pizza joint around here somewhere.”

“ Pizza on a work night?” She grinned up at him, glad that the tension had seemingly gone for a while.

“ Come on, live a little. You only got a promo on Smackdown, just make sure they keep the camera high to avoid showing your pepperoni belly.”

“ I don't even like pepperoni.” She pouted.

“ What do you like?” 

“ I get veggie.”

“ On second thoughts, maybe I can't be your friend.” He laughed as he pulled the car into the pizza place.

They ordered their pizza quickly, both knowing what they wanted before they even sat down. Their choices were polar opposites; Roman got the meat lovers, while Madison got the veggie.   
As they were waiting they saw two kids approach them, one about seven and the other about twelve, the younger one was wearing a 'Hit Hard Hit Often' top and the older one an 'Ambrose Asylum' one. They looked a little shy as they approached.

“ Hey buddy, nice shirt.” Roman pointed out his shirt.

“ Thank you.” He grinned a lopsided grin.

“ Would it be okay if we took a photo with you guys?” They asked politely.

Roman saw Madison tense up, he thought back to what Seth had told him on Sunday about Benji getting mad at Madison when he saw a photo of her and Seth online and he realised what the problem was. If Madison did decide to go back to Benji and these kids put a photo up where they were both on it and obviously eating dinner together, she might end up in a bad situation.

“ Hey, why don't I take one of you guys with Madison and then she can take one of you with me?” he suggested and the kids agreed excitedly, Madison mouthed 'thank you' to him.

Once they had had their photos and autographs, the children went back to sit with their parents, and dinner arrived.

“ How's Olivia?”

“ She's great, she keeps talking about you and that story you read her.”

“ It was one my Dad read to me when I was growing up.”

“ Awesome. He's sounds like a great Dad.”

“ He was.” Madison said sadly.

“ Oh, I'm sorry.” Roman realised what she meant.

“ It's okay, you didn't know.” They were quiet again for a while, both eating their food intently.

Roman was watching Madison as she ate, he could still see the pain etched across her face, even now when she was seemingly concentrating only on eating. She confused him really; he knew snippets about her from what Seth and Dean had told him, but neither would go into too much detail, and she didn't offer up much information willingly. He wanted to learn all about her, to explore what these feelings he was having were all about. Were they purely sexual? They didn't really know that much about each other, she probably knew more about him, he was pretty much an open book and would happily discuss his childhood or his family with anyone, but maybe that was because his had been happy. From what little he had gathered, he wasn't sure that Madison's had been, although she spoke about her Father like it had been. 

They had hung out several times over the past four months, and sometimes Madison seemed carefree and happy, while other times, most times, she seemed reserved and guarded, even afraid. Since the video had emerged, he obviously realised that she had reason to be afraid and that angered him greatly. Suddenly her voice cut through his inner monologue.

“ You're thinking about the video aren't you?” She said simply, although her voice was low.

How did she know that? The question went unasked, as Madison seemed to know what he was thinking.

“ You got this look in your eye, the same look Dean and Seth gave me when they brought it up.”

Roman tried to ignore the stab of jealousy he felt that Madison had already spoken about these things with both of his friends, but what could he really expect? They had known her first.

“ What look?”

“ Like a million different emotions are bombarding your brain. It's like mainly anger, some pity, you know, that kinda thing.”

“ We care about you Madison, as much as you seem to bristle at the thought.”

Madison's mouth opened as though she was going to argue with this, but she closed it again before any words made their way out.

“ I'm sorry.” She finally said after a couple of minutes.

“ What? What the hell've you got to be sorry about?” Roman's face was a picture in pure confusion.

Madison picked at some of the vegetables on one of the remaining slices of pizza, flicking the sweetcorn across the other side of the plate.

“ That you guys had to see that.”

A flash of anger ran through the Samoan's body, he was getting pretty used to that when he was around this woman. He took a deep breath to stop himself from shouting at her, that was definitely not what she needed right now.

“ Are you kidding me? You have nothing to apologise for. You've not done anything wrong. In a way I'm glad we saw it, obviously not that it was put online, but I'm glad that you don't have to suffer in silence anymore. We can protect you now, I can protect you.”

The softness in his eyes was making Madison uncomfortable.

“ I don't need protecting.”

She spat and Roman didn't respond. He went back to eating his pizza, he would protect her whether she wanted him to or not, and so would Dean and Seth. They were silent for another twenty minutes, until they had finished eating, and Roman paid the check.

Once they were back in the car and Roman had turned the engine on, Madison felt like she needed to break the tension, after all, it was her fault.

“ It makes me feel sick, y'know . . .”

The way she spoke made Roman think that he was supposed to know what she was alluding to, but he wasn't quite sure, her next statement made it clear.

“. . . Watching the things I let him do to me.”

“ You didn't _let_ him do anything, he did those things to you.”

“ Whatever. I'm meant to be a wrestler, a strong woman, and that video just shows everyone how pathetic I really am.” Tears were in her eyes.

Roman reached his hand over and rested it on her thigh, not in a sexual way, just for comfort. Her eyes immediately fell to his hand as he squeezed her gently before rubbing his hand a little up and down.

“ You _are_ a strong woman Madison, you've been going through so much and you still got here, you still achieved your dream. I wish you could see that, I wish you could see how amazing you are.”

Madison managed to smile at him, reassuring him that she appreciated his words, when really she felt sick. Why was he being so nice to her? She couldn't handle this, she wasn't used to it.

“ I don't want to go back Roman, I wanna move forward.” She said finally, her weak voice belying the strength of her words.

“ I'm glad to hear you say that. You've made the right choice. And anything you need, we're here for you now, all three of us.”

“ I know, I'm just . . . scared.”

Roman once again reached to touch her thigh, not realising that her hand was already resting on it. His landed on top of hers and he was shocked when she didn't immediately move it, so he interlaced their fingers and squeezed gently, Madison only let this last for a couple of seconds before she pulled away. 

Why had she done that? Why had she admitted she was scared? Sure, he probably already assumed she was scared, but it was better that he thought that without her confirming it. Either way, it was done now. And she had made up her mind. As much as it terrified her to live a life without Benji, she needed to try, she owed it to herself, to her career, to everything she had been working for. This business was the one thing in this world she loved as much as she loved Benji, but wrestling had never once left her feeling empty and worthless like Benji had. Sure, she got hurt, she took knocks, set-backs, botched moves from time to time, but those came with the territory, she always dusted herself off and got right back in the ring. With Benji, it felt like she had dusted herself once to often, it never felt like that with her job. She knew it would be the single hardest thing she had done, but she knew that she was no longer alone to do it.

She took out her cellphone and typed a short reply to Benji;

_I choose my job. Goodbye_

It took exactly thirty two seconds before he was calling her, but she ignored it, passing the phone to Roman who placed it into the side pocket of the drivers side, not uttering a word. The vibrations carried on for the final two hours of the ride.

The rest of the way they just chatted about little things, favourite matches, favourite wrestlers, even favourite food and drink. It was normal, it was two friends filling the time on a long car ride, it wasn't two friends who had been intimate with each other and who were having confusing feelings. The journey seemed to whiz by in no time and soon they were at the next city, the next hotel. Roman grabbed both of their bags from the trunk and followed Madison to the check in desk. As they were walking towards the elevators they saw Dean and Seth approaching them, seemingly having come from the restaurant.

“ You gonna tell them?” Roman whispered, his voice close to her ear as he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, Madison nodded in response.

“ You guys took your time.” Dean pointed out.

“ We stopped for pizza.” 

“ Pizza? On a TV night?” Seth wrinkled up his face in horror, the others ignored him.

“ Anyway, we thought you'd be at some bar, Seth trying, and failing, to stop you and Breeze doing whatever the hell it is you and Breeze do.” Roman chuckled.

“ Yeah, well, he's got a new girlfriend, had to go and Skype her the second we got here.” Dean answered.

“ You seem in a better mood though.”

“ I had food and beer.” He grinned.

Madison looked over the three men around her, they were all truly beautiful people, inside and out, and her heart warmed just being near them. These are the influences she wanted in her life from now on.

“ I'm staying.” She said, pretty quietly, but she could have screamed it from how quickly Dean and Seth's heads both snapped towards her.

They took in the small coy smile on her face, half joyful, half hopeful and both of their faces cracked into huge grins. Seth stepped forward and picked her up, spinning her around much as he had done on her first day on the main roster. It was fitting, that was the day when everything started to change for her.

“ You don't even understand how happy that makes me.” He put her back down.

Dean stepped forward and pulled her head towards him, kissing her on the temple.

“ I knew you loved me too much to go.”

“ And I'm getting the championship at TLC, in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match.”

Their eyes bugged out of their heads a little at that statement.

“ Fucking hell, that's huge. Congratulations.” Dean said, fist bumping her.

Seth just pulled her into a hug, it was perhaps the tightest hug she had experienced in her life.

“ We should definitely celebrate, but maybe not when we have a taping the next day.” Roman pointed out.

They all agreed and headed up to their rooms. Madison went to bed feeling happy for the first time in a long time. Sure, she was still scared about trying to move on with her life without Benji and she was worried that she would mess up her big chance, but mainly she was happy. She had great friends, for the first time in her life, ones who truly cared about her and would support her through whatever the next few months would throw at her. Her phone was still in the rental and she was glad, she didn't want the temptation of answering one of Benji's calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Will Benji just leave Madison alone now that she has chosen her job? Hmmmmm**


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Okay, so there is another instance of domestic violence in this chapter, just a warning in case that's a trigger**

The next two weeks passed in much the same vein, Madison was enjoying spending time with her friends at shows and the tournament had gone fantastic. Madison had been the sole victor, after attacking Becky Lynch backstage before their match, hurting her left arm in the process so she was easier to beat. She had managed to keep a bit of distance between her and Roman; she was glad they had bonded some more on their road trip, but she was still having confusing feelings and was worried something might happen if they spent much time alone together. 

Benji had stopped calling after five days, but Madison still didn't feel that it would be the last she would hear from him, he wasn't one to let her go without a fight.

They all headed back to Florida after Smackdown and were looking forward to their days off before the Pay Per View on Sunday. Seth couldn't wait to get back to his dog, Dean had plans with Breeze and Cesaro, Roman's wife was coming home, and Madison wanted to spend some time with Naomi, she had been neglecting their friendship and she wanted to make it up to her.

Roman had spent the whole of Wednesday with his daughter, he took her to Disneyland and spoiled her rotten. He missed her like crazy and had to make the most of the time he did get to spend with her. He would have kept her at his house overnight, but Kayla was coming home and had said she wanted to talk to him about their future, so he had dropped her off at five and headed to the airport to pick up his wife.

Roman cooked dinner whilst she told him about her trip; her Aunt had passed away the previous week and now the funeral was over she had decided it was time she came home. Once the food was ready they sat down and a silence fell over them; they both knew that this was a very important conversation and neither really knew how to go about starting it.

“ I love you Kayla.” Roman said suddenly, feeling like he had to let her know this.

“ I love you too, but over the last year or so, I've felt like that's not enough.” She said, sadness evident in her eyes.

Roman pushed the food around his plate with his fork.

“ You knew what my schedule would be like when I got signed, you said you could handle it.”

“ It's not just your schedule Roman, it's everything. When you are here you spend all your time making Olivia feel special, and I get that, I'm not saying it's wrong, but I need to feel special too.”

“ Olivia's my daughter, I don't want her to think her Daddy doesn't care about her.”

“ I know Roman, and you're an amazing father, and you know I love Olivia to bits. It's just, when you're home, I feel like you spend the whole day with her and then at night time you do your husbandly duties and that's it. That's all I get.”

“ That's not all you get Kayla.”

“ It is Roman, and the last couple of months, it's like you're not even with me then, even when we're making love it's like your body is there, but your mind isn't. We don't connect the way we used to.”

Roman scolded himself, he admitted that there was the odd time, when he was making love to his wife, that his mind would wander and he would think about Madison, about the heat in their encounters, but for the most part, he was right there with her.

“ I know it's been hard Kay, but I'm so close to the top, so close to getting that title, my mind is sometimes cluttered.” He felt like an ass hole for making excuses.

“ So a stupid, fake championship belt is worth more to you than your wife, than your family?”

“ Nothing is worth more to me than my family, you know that.”

“ I thought I did. But maybe it's just me. Maybe you stopped seeing me as family.” There were tears in Kayla's eyes now, and Roman felt them gathering in his own eyes. “ I'm going to go back to Canada at the weekend. I need to be with _my_ family.”

“ _I'm_ your family Kayla, _Olivia's_ your family.” He stuttered.

“ I know. I won't stop seeing Olivia, but I need more time. I need time to get to know this new part of my family in Canada and to think about us.”

“ Okay. If that's what you need.” 

As Roman said this, his heart torn in his chest, his phone rang. When he looked at the display and saw that it was Madison who was calling him, he was confused. She never rang him, even when she wanted to hang out it was always Seth she contacted, and Dean was second choice, never him. And when she needed him in other ways she never contacted him to let him know, it had always been coincidence that he had been there. Not once had she ever called his phone or even text him. 

His confusion quickly changed to panic, maybe something was wrong. All of these thoughts flashed through his mind in the two seconds it took him to press the accept button on the call.

“ Hello?”

There was no answer, he could hear muffled talking in the background, a man's voice, she must had butt-dialled him when she was hanging out with Seth or something. He said 'hello' again just to check, and then a scream echoed down the receiver and his blood ran cold.

“ Kayla, I've gotta go, I'm so sorry.” He said, grabbing his coat and his car keys. He didn't even wait to hear her reply before he was out of the door.

He put his phone on speaker and kept the call connected the whole way, to see if he could hear anything else, but it was only muffled talking and the occasional sound of distress. His blood pumped faster and faster in his veins, it was hard for him to even keep his driving under control as he headed the few short miles to Madison's apartment.

* * *

Naomi and Madison had been shopping all day, their friendship was back on track and Madison couldn't have been happier. Everything seemed to be coming together in her life, Benji had even stopped calling. 

The two women had grabbed an early dinner at a restaurant in town and then gone their separate ways. It was almost seven and Madison was looking forward to a bubble bath and an early night.

She opened the front door to her apartment and had a split second to think that she didn't remember leaving the lounge light on, before something hit her head. Whatever it was didn't knock Madison out, it just stunned her, making her fall to the floor. She was half aware of the door being closed as she tried to readjust her eyes.

“ Miss me?” She heard a too familiar voice say and sickness rose in her, she felt like she wanted to puke.

“ What are you doing here?” She managed to say even though it felt like her heart was going to hammer through the walls of her chest.

“ I've come back for you Madison. I've decided to forgive you for your . . . lapse in judgement and take you home with me. You'll feel much better when you're back home in Pittsburgh with me.”

“ _This_ is my home.”

“ That's cute.” He said before landing a swift kick to her side. “ Now get up.” He demanded even though she was coughing from the impact. He took a handful of her hair and pulled her to her feet, causing her to squeal.

“ You really thought you could just leave me . . . that I'd let you?” He now had her pinned to the wall with his forearm across her neck.

“ Please just let me go.” She begged but he just pressed his arm harder into her windpipe. 

Somehow Madison found her strength and brought her knee up to connect with his groin although she barely grazed him it still gave her enough of a chance to get out of his grip. She ran to where her bag had been dropped on the floor and grabbed her cellphone, she brought up her contacts list and quickly went to Roman's name, it was the first person who came to mind, she pressed call but Benji was back on her once again. He pulled her arm hard, almost ripping it from it's socket, she dropped the cellphone in the struggle.

“ You stupid fucking slut.” He brought up his hand and punched her in the jaw, Madison couldn't help the scream that escaped her lips.

“ You see what you make me do? Why can't you just behave? We'd be so much happier. We could be together again, now just come with me.”

“ No. I won't.” 

Benji just laughed at her act of defiance. He dragged her towards the bedroom which was only illuminated by the light from the street lamps outside, he didn't turn the light on, he liked it better this way. There he continued to hit her and throw her around, Madison was close to blacking out, the pain was so bad, especially over her ribs. She didn't know how long this went on, but it felt like forever until he dragged her back to her feet and pinned her against the wardrobe with his forearm.

“ Do you really think you can carry on without me? You're nothing without me Madison, NOTHING! I made you everything you are, I took that scared little girl and I made her mine. You think you can make it without me, you can't. You think your stupid little friends will stand by you when they know who you really are? What will Tyler fucking Black think when he knows about the way you let me give you to people, so eager, so willing? You think he will stand by you then? When he knows what a little whore you are?”  
Benji was getting right in her face and Madison was trembling, she honestly thought that this could be the day she died.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **There is a lot of detail about domestic violence, drug taking and dubious consent in this chapter, so be warned**
> 
> **Longggggg chapter btw**

Roman finally arrived at Madison's after what felt like an eternity, but must have been less than ten minutes. He ran the steps up to her apartment, it was quicker than taking the elevator. When he got there he tried the door and found it open, he entered and took a look around the lounge, no one. He could hear muffled talking coming from where he assumed was the bedroom and he crept towards it, not wanting to make his presence known just yet.

“ You think your stupid little friends will stand by you when they know who you really are? What will Tyler fucking Black think when he knows about the way you let me give you to people, so eager, so willing? You think he will stand by you then? When he knows what a little whore you are?”

Roman could just about make out the figures of Madison and Benji in the dim light of the bedroom, he had her pinned against the wardrobe, his hand at her throat, his face so close to hers that it almost looked as though they were kissing, Roman would have thought they were if it wasn't for the hateful putrid words he could hear spewing from Benji's mouth. 

He took two steps into the room and reached out, grabbing the man's shoulder and spinning him round. As soon as he was turned the Samoan's fist connected with his jaw, a crack could be heard along with a whimper from the smaller man, who fell to the floor. 

Roman grabbed him by the front of his shirt, bringing him up to his feet and dragging him towards the door.

“ Who the fuck are you?” The bloodied man choked out.

“ Right now, I'm your worst fucking nightmare. I want nothing more that to beat you to death right here, right now. But I'm not gonna do that. I want you to be real smart and get the hell outta here, go back to Pittsburgh, crawl into your hovel and forget Madison even exists. You gonna do that?”

Benji didn't answer Roman, he just let out a short laugh, causing blood from his mouth to splatter on Roman's shirt. Roman landed a punch to the man's soft belly, causing him to double over.

“ I said, you gonna do that?”

“ Fuck, yes. Fine, yes.” Benji stuttered, his breathing laboured.

“ Good. I better never see you or hear from you again.” 

With that he shoved Benji into the elevator and pressed the button for the ground floor. He didn't think they would hear from Benji again, his type were cowards. They liked to assert their dominance over women, grinding them down until they felt like they owed something to the man, but when faced with someone who wouldn't back down, they would tuck tail and run.

Roman quickly re-entered Madison's apartment and headed back to the bedroom, he turned on the light and saw Madison properly for the first time that night. Her eye was swollen and her lip was split, a little blood had trickled down her chin, and she was holding her side, but otherwise she looked physically unharmed. Mentally and emotionally though, she looked a wreck.

“ Is he really gone?” She asked, her voice weak and broken by the tears that were running down her face.

“ Yes, I promise, you're safe.”

All of a sudden Madison started to shake, it started with her hands and soon spread to the rest of her body until Roman thought she might collapse, it was almost as though she was having some sort of seizure. He couldn't stop himself, he rushed forward and reached out to her, his fingers barely brushing her upper arms at first. He could now feel her trembling and so he wrapped his arms around her, enveloping her into his warmth. She stood perfectly still apart from the involuntary movement running through her body, her arms were wrapped around herself, but she didn't move away from him. After a couple of moments she moved her head forward and rested it on his chest.

“ Why did you call me? Why not Seth or Dean?” He realised this was maybe not the time to be questioning that, but he couldn't help it. He desperately wanted her answer to be what he wanted to hear, that she needed him, but he knew that wasn't likely.

“ I don't know. Don't ask me stuff like that.”

“ Fine.” Roman replied, a little crest fallen. “ What did Benji mean before, when he said how you let him give you to people?”

“ Don't ask me that either.” Madison's tone was strange, like she was spaced out, Roman was worried.

He stepped back a little when Madison moved, seemingly trying to wriggle out of his arms. He went to the en-suite bathroom and grabbed a face cloth, he ran it under the tap a little and brought it back out. He proceeded to clean to blood from Madison's lips and wiped the streaked make-up from her cheeks. She stood still and let him, when he was done she all of a sudden felt weak. Roman sensed that she was getting wobbly on her feet and so he guided her over to the bed and sat her down. He took her shoes from her feet and lifted her legs onto the bed. She shuffled herself up so she was propped up on the pillows.

“ Do you want a drink or something? Or d'you want me to give you a minute?” He asked nervously, not really sure of what he should do from here.

“ Stay.” She said, reaching out and grabbing his wrist tightly. 

She shuffled over to the other side of the bed and Roman realised she wanted him to sit with her. He took off his own shoes and sat on the edge of the bed. He looked down and realised that his shirt was splattered with Benji's blood, he immediately took it off before lying against the pillow next to Madison. He lifted his arm and rested it over her shoulder, to his surprise she immediately leaned into him and lay her head on his chest. They must have lay that way for thirty minutes, neither uttering a word. Roman was quite happy just to be there for her.

Madison's mind was blurred, she couldn't believe that Benji had come to her house, well, she could really. She knew what he was like. But why had she had to get Roman involved? Like he himself has said, why not Dean or Seth? In this situation she wished she had called Dean, he knew about guys like Benji, Roman had never had to deal with his kind before. Roman had grown up in this sheltered, loving, idyllic life and Madison had already brought so much chaos to it, why had she had to involve him in this? 

On the other hand, she didn't think she had ever felt more safe than in this moment, with her head resting against his chest and his arm around her. He wasn't trying to force her to talk to him, he was just being there for her. Madison felt that she owed him an explanation, but where to start?

“ My parents died when I was sixteen.” She felt him tense beside her instantaneously, he obviously hadn't been expecting this. To his credit, he didn't talk, just let her speak.

“ They were on holiday and got into an accident, they never came home. I was still a minor so I was taken in by a foster family, as we had no other relatives. The people were nice, but there were so many kids and I needed someone to concentrate on me, I had just lost my parents.” She took a couple of seconds to slow her breathing and regain her composure. “ There was another girl, Sarah, she was seventeen, about ready to leave, but she introduced me to this group of boys, well men really. Benji was twenty-one at the time. They were bad-boys, they had a dangerous vibe and Benji, he showed me so much attention, he would buy me gifts and take me out, it was everything I wanted." She steadied her breathing once again.

" At pretty much the same time I was introduced to wrestling, well training anyway, I'd always watched it with my Dad. I started going to training four nights a week, I told them I was eighteen. I fell in love with it, and I fell in love with Benji. After a while I realised what Benji did, he sold drugs and he took drugs. He mainly stuck with speed and cocaine, but I'm sure he tried others. When I was seventeen he forced me to try speed, he practically shoved the pill down my throat. The high I felt was incredible. It made me forget everything, made me forget how much I missed my parents. It also made me have so much energy, I was wrestling on underground promotions at that point and when I was taking the drugs I could go for so long, and I did so many crazy exciting things that people started to notice. My ring name was Maddy Mayhem. Soon I was taking the pills every day, I dropped out of school. I moved in with Benji. He treated me really well at first, but soon he turned nasty, he didn't hit me, only a couple of times, he just made me feel really bad about myself.”

Madison felt Roman's arm tighten around her, but she didn't dare look at him, she just carried on.

“ I had some bigger promotions calling me, asking me to sign by the time I was really eighteen, the one I was really excited about was Ring of Honor. I managed to stay off the pills for a couple of weeks before my try-out, 'cause I knew they'd drug test me, and I passed with flying colours. As soon as I signed my contract I started taking the pills again. That's where I met Seth, Tyler as he was back then. We became friends quickly, he sorta took me under his wing and we trained together sometimes. I had a crush on him and I think Benji noticed. Benji would always hang around training and show days, he really didn't like me training with Tyler. I think he sort of knew that Tyler didn't like him either, he would always say that I could do better, that I should break up with Benji, but I couldn't. At a similar sort of time Benji started getting into a bit of trouble with the people he was selling for, he wasn't selling quick enough, or maybe he was using too much of the product, I don't really know. I just know that he looked to me to get him out of trouble.”

She took a couple of deep breaths before this next part. She had never spoken about this to anyone, but now she had started, she found she couldn't stop.

“ He told the men that they could have me to pay off his debt, in any way they wanted . . . I was real skinny then, because of the pills, and I was blonde with big boobs, they all seemed to want me, and Benji said they could. He would take me to their places of work, usually clubs of some kind, and he would leave me with them. A couple of them beat me up pretty good, but mostly they wanted to have sex with me. I thought I had to, Benji had taken care of me when I needed him so now I had to take care of him when he needed me, I had to help him out of the trouble he had got himself into.”

Roman wrapped his other arm around Madison and laid his head on the top of hers, she could of sworn she heard him sniffle a little as though he was crying.

“ When he picked me up he told me he loved me over and over and he treated me like a princess again, like when we first got together. I tried to forget about it by taking more pills, this was about eight months after I signed for ROH. They must have noticed something was up, I'm not sure what happened, maybe I was botching too many matches, it's all kinda fuzzy. I was super angry at the time too, always getting into fights backstage and stuff like that. Either way, they made me take a drugs test and obviously I failed. They gave me another chance, tested me again a couple of weeks later and sure enough, I failed again. I couldn't stop taking the pills, because then I would have to think about what I was doing with those men. They said that I had one more chance, that I had to clean up my act or I was out. I didn't clean up. I got suspended indefinitely. Tyler, Seth, he cut all ties with me, I think he still feels guilty about that, but he shouldn't; he did the right thing. But I needed him then. I was so angry with losing my dream that I broke up with Benji, and I started working more hardcore promotions, where I thought they wouldn't care so much about drug testing.”

“ That's where you met Dean?”

“ Yeah, well Jon Moxley. I only saw him that one time. It was a crazy eighteen months, I was free from Benji but I was still taking the pills, I was kinda a ring rat. The thing about speed is that it gives you a super high sex drive too, so I would wrestle these brutal crazy matches and then go back and find one of the wrestlers to screw. But then I got injured and I realised that I needed to stop. I came off the pills, it was super hard, but I did it. But I got back in touch with Benji, I begged him to take me back, he was like my crutch now that the pills were gone. He was worse then, he always held it over my head that I owed him for leaving. He hated that I was clean, but I was determined to stay that way. I worked my ass off with other companies and eventually I got back in contact with Ring of Honor and they said they'd give me another chance. Tyler was gone by the time I went back, he was at FCW with you guys by then, so Benji was a little more relaxed about me being there. I was back there for three years, made a great name for myself and that's when WWE came calling.”

She took a break from talking then, her mouth was getting dry, but it was cathartic finally getting everything off her chest. She had almost forgotten Roman was there, if he hadn't been holding her so tightly, it was almost as though she were talking to herself.

“ Obviously it was my dream to work for WWE, it's every Indy wrestlers dream, even the ones that won't admit it. And in the back of my mind I knew I'd see Tyler again, I'd see Seth. So I signed, Benji wasn't too keen on the idea, but he knows that wrestling is the only thing that I love as much as him so he let me do it. When I saw Seth and he actually spoke to me, wanted to let me back in, I couldn't believe my luck. It was so good to be around him again, and of course I met Dean, or re-met him, and I met you, and Naomi. For the first time in forever I sort of felt like I belonged, like there were people who wanted me around, and I liked it. I let my guard down too much, especially when Benji wasn't on the road with me. Like the pool party, the photo that Cameron put on Twitter, that was the night the video was taken. The stuff on there, that's not everything he did to me. I stayed off house shows that weekend, and when I came back to Raw, I had so much make-up on my body that I was terrified it was going to sweat off. He didn't usually hurt me physically, I'm not trying to make excuses for him, but lately he was doing it more. Maybe he thought he was losing his control over me, I don't know.”

Madison was spent, she had told him everything, never before had she laid herself so bare in front of someone else. Even Seth didn't know some of the details.

“ I just thought I owed you some sort of explanation.”

There, she had said it, and now she felt . . . empty, but in a good way. She felt like everything she had been bottling up for the past God knows how long was finally gone, it wasn't a secret anymore. 

The relief only lasted a few seconds, as it dawned on her what she had actually done. She told him, she'd told _Roman_. He knew everything. Nausea rose to her throat again as she thought about what that meant. Maybe she wouldn't have felt so sick if it had been Seth or Dean, they both already knew bits and pieces of her story, but this was Roman. This was the man who she had been having confusing, disturbing thoughts about since that night less than three weeks ago. 

She felt herself start to tremble again and immediately felt the embrace around her tighten, a kiss was placed to the top of her head. Madison almost couldn't breathe from the sweetness of the gesture.

“ I'm so sorry that all of that happened to you.” Roman said, his voice cracking slightly.

Madison turned in his arms and was shocked when she saw tears trickling down his gorgeous face. It broke her heart, it was her fault that he was crying. This is why she shouldn't let people get close to her, why she shouldn't have friends, if people started to care about her then it was only a matter of time until she let them down.

“ I'm sorry, you shouldn't have had to hear any of that.” While she spoke she absent-mindedly brought her hand up to his face and wiped away the tears with the pad of her thumb.

She started to pull out of his embrace, she needed to get away from him before she could cause him any more pain. As she tried to move he instead pulled her closer to him, the front of her body was now against his side. He looked her directly in the eyes and she could see the pain he felt there, she just wanted to make it better.

She moved her head forward slightly and she could now feel his breath on her lips. He didn't make a move to close the gap, and for that Madison was grateful. She settled her breathing down, still looking into his eyes; he didn't have his contacts in and so she could see the wonderful deep brown of them. It didn't freak her out so much this time. She closed the couple of inches between them and pressed her plump lips to his. His grip on her loosened a little until he was just holding her in his arms, Madison's hands came up to rest against his chest. Neither one of them moved to deepen the kiss, for now it was enough. After what could have only been a few moments she pulled back and just lay against him, neither said a word.

Another fifteen minutes passed of them laying in silence, Roman spoke.

“ What were your parents like? Tell me about them.”

At first Madison wasn't sure if she wanted to, she made it a rule not to talk about her parents, as it just upset her. But Roman seemed so interested, and he had helped her, and listened to her, so maybe she could let go of one more of the closely guarded pieces of her life. She reached over to the drawers at the side of the bed and routed around a little before her hands came to rest on the photo she had hidden there. She took it out and looked at it, her finger tracing over lines of her parents faces, she realised she had forgotten little things about them, like the beauty spot her mother had below her right eye, and the way her father's smile was a little wider on the left hand side. Once she had studied it for a moment she passed it to Roman, the act itself tugged at her heart.

“ This is the last ever photo of them, probably only a couple of hours before they died. When the coroner shipped their belongings back, there was a camera, one of the old type where you have to get the film developed. My Dad was a camera nerd, he had so many. It took me a while to have the photos printed, it was like that was all I had left of them. That one's my favourite, they just look so happy. They were married for ten years before they had me, they'd been trying for a baby that whole time, and I was their little miracle. They worshipped me, treated me like a real Princess. I grew up around so much love, I think that's why it hurt so much when it was taken away, there was no one left to love me. My Mom used to dress me in pretty dresses and took me shopping and all those girly things, and my Dad would still let me do all those things, but I think he was sad he didn't have a son as well as me, so he got me into wrestling and climbing trees. I was a tomboy who wore dresses. I'd always have mud all over my pink clothes. My parents were both college professors, so they were super smart, they'd probably be so disappointed in me for dropping out of school. I've always wanted to go back and get my diploma, maybe get a college degree too, if wrestling didn't work out.”

“ I'm sure they wouldn't be disappointed. But you can still get those things, even while you wrestle. I mean, Xavier manages a PHD alongside his career.” Roman tried to be encouraging.

“ I guess so. Maybe that's not a bad idea. I was always reading and learning new things, I loved taking in new information. We'd go to museums and the theatre, wherever I wanted really. And then they were gone. Just like that, when I still needed them so bad.”

“ They're still with you Madison, they're the reason you have come through everything as the strong amazing woman you are.”

Madison quieted at this, not liking the compliment, they always made her feel uncomfortable. She decided that she had shared enough, she felt completely stripped bare, and all in front of this man who was causing her enough uneasy feelings already.

“ Tell me about _your_ family.” She said, feeling that if he shared a little with her it may make her feel less self conscious, although that wasn't likely.

Madison felt Roman shift a little beside her, his head was rested atop of hers and so she could feel his jaw moving when he spoke. His voice vibrated through his chest, which Madison could also feel through her own chest as it was pressed so close against him.

“ Well my family's huge, as you know. I spent most of my time growing up hanging with my cousins, the Usos, although they're my second cousins really. Rikishi's my cousin actually, even though he gets called my Uncle on TV. But the Usos are closer to my age, so we used to hang together a lot, play football, wrestle, everything, I was like the third twin. Our house was always filled with people, and food and laughter, it comes with the Samoan heritage. And my Mom's Italian so she was big on food too. We had the sun, the sea, it was great. You hear about a lot of kids whose parents are in the industry saying that they missed out on a lot, but my Dad pretty much had his career by the time I was born, so he was around a lot when I was little. He and my Uncle had started their training school and their own promotion, but it was just like a normal job, he didn't travel much. It was probably different for my brother, there's fifteen years between us, so he lost some time with Dad travelling round.”

“ I wrestled a couple of times for your Dad's promotion I think. About five years ago, just before I went back to ROH . . . I was clean then, before you ask.”

“ I wasn't gonna.”

“ Sorry. Carry on.” Madison's eyes were getting heavy, she was worn out from the shock of finding Benji in her home and from letting everything off her chest.

“ There's not much more really. I went to college, played football, tried to go pro. I didn't have that much luck so I decided to start training as a wrestler. Half of my family are wrestlers and I'd always been encouraged, so I started training with my Dad and Uncle. Then WWE approached me and signed me to FCW.” 

Roman glanced down at the woman in his arms and realised she had fallen asleep. He didn't want to wake her so he just stayed as still as he could, she had been through the ringer today and deserved some rest. 

As he lay his head back on the pillows he thought about everything that had happened this afternoon, which was a lot. First the conversation with Kayla, then getting the phone call from Madison and arriving to find Benji hurting her and finally what she had told him. Sure, he had been wanting to find out more about the mysterious woman, but what she had told him was a lot to take in. No one should have to go what she had gone through in life, it was bad enough losing her parents, but then to fall into the life that she had, it was heart-breaking. 

He found himself wondering if Dean and Seth knew all of this, maybe that's why they were so keen to protect her all the while. However, it was only tonight that Roman had found out and had he not wanted to protect her from the get-go, even before he knew a single thing about her? Her mere presence made him want to keep her safe, how she was shy one minute and feisty the next, how she always had that broken look if you looked deep into her eyes. Now he knew what had broken her, and it sickened him. How could a man do that to a woman? Treat her like Benji had? Give her to other men like Benji had? Roman was regretting not beating him to death when he had the chance.

As he was thinking he felt his eyes getting heavy and he was soon drifting off to sleep too.


	24. Chapter 24

There was light pouring through the open blinds when Madison awoke the next morning, she had a moment of confusion as to why she hadn't closed them the night before, when the events of the previous night dawned on her. She felt the warm mass beside her and realised that Roman must have fallen asleep too, she wasn't sure how she felt about that. At least she hadn't slept with him again, especially when she had been feeling that vulnerable. She felt Roman stir and decided it was best if she got up, so she moved her legs over the side of the bed and sat up, letting out a gasp when a pain shot through her side. Roman shot up in bed.

“ Are you okay?” He placed his hand on her shoulder.

“ Yeah fine, just a little sore.” She stood up and faced him.

God he looks good in the morning. She thought to herself and then cursed herself mentally.

“ Let me see.” Before she could protest Roman was sitting on the edge of the bed and was sliding the material of her vest top up. “ That's pretty bad.” His eyes were full of concern.

Madison looked down to her ribs and saw the blackened skin, Roman fingers brushing over it were sending shots of pain throughout her abdomen, she had definitely broken at least one rib.

“ You need to see a trainer.” He let her top resettle.

“ Are you kidding me? If I see a trainer they won't let me wrestle on Sunday.”

“ Maybe you shouldn't, not with cracked ribs.”

“ No Roman! I am NOT letting Benji ruin this shot for me. I can wrestle like this, I can do it.”

“ Madison you have to think about your health.”

“ I am not losing this shot. You can't tell anyone about what happened here. You have to promise me Roman.”

The Samoan closed his eyes, he couldn't believe what Madison was asking him. He couldn't let her wrestle like this, especially in a TLC match, she was bound to get hurt even further.

“ Madison. . .”

“ No, you have to promise me you won't tell anyone. Not even Seth or Dean.”

“ Why can't I tell them?”

“ 'Cause they won't let me wrestle like this.”

“ And you think I will?”

“ You have to Roman, you know what it means to me. If I don't fight and I don't win that belt, Benji's won. Don't you see. You're the only one who knows exactly what he did to me, what he made me do. You can't let him win.” There were tears in Madison's eyes now, Roman could see how badly she wanted this.

Madison's words hit him suddenly; he was the only one who knew. She hadn't told anyone but him the true extent of what that monster had done, how he had broken the woman standing in front of him. Roman knew he had to do what she asked, call him a sucker, but he was going to.

“ Fine, I won't tell anyone, but the second that match is over, you are going to see a trainer.”

“ Thank you. And thank you for last night, I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't turned up.” Tears sprung to her eyes again.

“ Don't even think about it. He won't bother you again. And even if he does, he has no idea what I will do to him.” Roman's voice came out tense and angry.

Madison watched as Roman grabbed his shirt from the floor and pulled it on, stained with Benji's blood. He sat on the end of the bed as he pulled his boots back on, when he checked his phone he saw three missed calls from Kayla, he realised he had left last night without an explanation and had never come home, that wasn't going to go down well.

“ You're welcome to use the shower if you need to.” Madison said, starting to all of a sudden feel awkward.

The atmosphere in the room was similar to the morning after a one night stand, although the two hadn't even slept together this time. Madison felt raw and embarrassed from everything she had spoken aloud the night before, she really wanted Roman to refuse the shower and leave.

“ No, it's okay thanks. I need to get home.”

Roman pulled Madison into a one armed hug before he left the apartment. Madison quickly locked the door behind him before heading to the bathroom. She took a look at herself in the mirror; her lip was busted but it would soon go down if she put ice on it and once she had lipstick on no one would notice. Other than that there was really just the bruises on her side, which would be covered by her ring gear. Provided she could still put on a good show, she didn't care about the pain. She climbed into the shower.

Whilst she was in there she couldn't help but let the tears flow once more. She thought Benji had given up when he had stopped calling almost a week ago, but obviously he was just biding his time. It made her feel even more vulnerable than she had already, she didn't want to stay living in this apartment when he could so easily get access to it. She made the decision that she would head over to the realtor's and see if she could terminate her lease and find a place new.

* * *

* * *

Sunday morning came around quickly and when Madison arrived at Seth's house she met Roman walking up the driveway. He looked solemn, although it may have just been tiredness from the early morning wake up.

“ How're you feeling?” He asked, motioning to his own ribs.

“ Sore, but I'll be fine. Promise.”

They stopped talking when Seth opened the door and out flew his little dog, Kevin. Roman immediately crouched down and the Kevin jumped up into his lap.

“ Hey buddy, I think you're a little too lively for five in the morning.” He said, whilst scratching the little guys ears.

“ Dean just called to say he's picked up the car, he'll only be five minutes.” Seth emerged from the house. “ My Mom's here by the way.”

“ You made your Mom come over here at five am when you could have dropped Kevin off last night?” Madison asked and Roman and Seth both laughed.

“ Well, well, I thought I recognised that voice.” Pam said as she walked out of the house. “ Madison Maxwell, as I live and breathe.” She grinned a wide, genuine smile.

“ Hey Mrs Rollins. How're you doing?”

“ How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?” She pulled Madison into a quick hug and the younger woman tried to hide her wince at the contact to her ribs. “ You look stunning sweetheart, dark hair really suits you.”

“ Thank you.”

All of a sudden a car swerved into the drive, its horn honking ostentatiously causing all four of the people gathered in the driveway to wince, and Kevin to rush behind Seth's legs. Dean leaned out of the window, his tongue lolling out of his mouth.

“ Your chariot awaits.”

“ For fucks sake Dean, wanna piss my neighbours off anymore?” Seth sounded pissed off.

“ Seth Rollins, mind your language!” His mother scolded him and Dean, Roman and Madison all laughed.

“ Hi Pam, you're looking lovely this morning.”

“ Ever the charmer Dean.” She grinned.

“ Leave my Mom alone Ambrose.” Seth scowled whilst throwing his bags into the trunk.

The others followed suit and once all four had said goodbye to Seth's mother, they headed off on the road, another five and a half hours to go before they reached their destination. Dean drove first, with Seth in shotgun. Roman sat behind Dean, looking out of the window glumly, Madison sat behind Seth, much in the same position as Roman. Both had a lot on their minds.

“ Hey Madison, you need to cheer the hell up, in a few hours you're gonna be Divas champ.” Dean turned to face the brunette, which caused Seth to grab the wheel and curse his friend loudly.

“ I know, I'm just nervous I guess.”

She wasn't nervous, not about the match anyway. She was thinking about Benji, about what he could do to her still. Even though Roman had scared him off and made him duck and run with his tail between his legs, Madison wasn't sure that would be the last she would hear from him. She also couldn't stop thinking about Roman, about how much of herself she had let him see, why had she told him things that she had never told another soul – she put it down to how vulnerable she had been feeling. Then there was her ribs, the soreness hadn't got any better since it happened, she knew she could fight through the pain, but she wanted to make this match spectacular and she was worried she wouldn't be able to pull off some of the bigger spots.

“ You'll be amazing Mads. I know it.”

“ I'm glad you have so much faith in me Seth.”

“ What's up with you Rome? You look as moody as Madison.”

“ Just tired bro, nothing to worry about.”

But was it something to worry about? When Roman had returned home on Thursday morning he and Kayla had had a huge fight. She had accused him of all sorts, and really, wasn't he guilty of it all? Maybe that night he hadn't slept with someone else, but there were nights when he had. And wasn't he having feelings for another woman? After Wednesday night, Madison was all he could think about, how she had bared her soul for him, and only him. Either way, he had denied all charges that his wife was throwing at him, said he had been helping out a friend, and that had been the truth. At least part of it. 

Despite his protestations, she had left for Canada two days early, and Roman was alone again. He was confused, he loved his wife, he really did, but he didn't feel a connection with her anymore. And Madison? What did he feel for her? Even he didn't know. It was a unique situation. Sure, he had been attracted to other women in the past, since he had been married, but never once had he been tempted to cheat on his wife, even when they hadn't been getting along so well. And then Madison turned up, and his world turned upside down.

“ Well Seth, this has been a thrilling couple of hours, but I think I'm gonna take a piss break and then grumpy one or grumpy two can drive.” Dean said loudly, causing both back seat passengers to flip him off.

Once they were back on the road, Roman took over the driving for the rest of the trip.


	25. Chapter 25

Madison was changed, make-up'd and ready to go, and she felt sick. This was it, this was her time, she couldn't mess this up. 

She had spoken to Sasha when they had arrived at the arena, and they had talked each other through some of the spots they wanted to do, the rest they said would happen as it happened. Now she was waiting in her private locker room, a ball of emotions was in her chest; excitement, trepidation, pride, fear, all rolled into one.

As she was bouncing up and down waiting to go down to Gorilla, Dean waltzed into the locker room swaying from side to side like he did when he was making his entrance.

“ Hey sweet thing, remember last time we were in a locker room alone together?” He winked.

“ Yeah, how could I forget Ambrose, best night of my life.” She said sarcastically.

“ Fuck you Maxwell. Now I was gonna come in here and wish you luck, but maybe I shouldn't.”

“ Oh please wish me luck.” Madison pouted her bottom lip out and made herself look sad, Dean leant forward so his face was almost pressed against hers.

“ Stick that lip out at me again and I'll bite it off.” He reared back a little and took her face in both of his hands, placing a kiss on her forehead. “ Knock 'em dead Princess.” 

Dean left the room and Madison had a couple more minutes of bouncing around, trying to focus all of her energy, before the door opened again and Seth walked in.

“ You ready Maddy?”

“ Just about.” She grinned back at him, this was when she felt most alive, when she was about to go out and do what she was born to do.

“ This match is gonna kick ass, you and Sasha are gonna be perfect.”

“ I'm gonna be more perfect though, right?”

“ Of course. Now go win that title.” He pulled Madison into a tight hug, which almost made her cry out from the pain.

When Seth left, Madison sagged against the wall, trying to get her breath back. As she was pulling much needed air into her lungs, Roman Reigns walked in. He immediately rushed over to her side and wrapped his arm around her back.

“ You okay?”

“ I was until Seth bear hugged me!”

“ Let me see.”

Reluctantly Madison let Roman pull up the material of her ring top, showing the purple-black bruising still covering her side. He shook his head a little as he ran his fingers over the delicate skin, making Madison shiver slightly.

“ Lemme tape you up a little, might relieve some of the pressure.” 

Madison passed him the tape and he made quick work of winding it around her slim waist before cutting it with his teeth and pulling the top back down to cover it. All the time he was working on the tape Madison kept her gaze fixed on her bag, trying not to focus on the feeling of his fingers gently brushing her flesh or his hair tickling her arm.

“ There you go, you're all set.”

“ Thanks Roman.” 

“ No problem, now go throw yourself dangerously through some tables or some shit.” The way he said it showed his disapproval of her competing tonight, especially as Seth and Dean were none the wiser as to what had happened.

“ I'll be fine, I've told you. I've been through worse.” 

Madison had meant this as a flippant off-hand comment, if she had said it to Dean he would have made some joke back, but this was Roman. She had almost forgotten about what she had shared with him, well she had at least pushed it to the back of her mind. But now, the way Roman looked at her with impossibly sad eyes, she knew he had taken her comment more seriously than it was intended.

“ You deserve this shot Madison, go take it.” He placed a kiss to the top of her head and followed her out of the locker room to Gorilla position.

* * *

* * *

The match had been going for twenty-eight minutes already, both women were exhausted. In total three chairs had been used, five tables obliterated and two pairs of ladders rammed into supple flesh. The girls had agreed to work stiff, to make this match the best it could possibly be, but they knew they would regret it in the morning. They were both re-cooperating on the floor, among the debris of two broken tables on which they had landed from the top of a fifteen foot ladder.

Madison was up first, she righted the ladder and started towards the top slowly, once she got there, the title was within her reach, all she had to do was grab it. She looked down at Sasha who winked, Madison knew what she wanted her to do, the big finish they had talked about. They had said before the match, that at this point, if they were both too exhausted that Madison should just grab the belt and finish it, but, on the off chance that they still had more to give, they had discussed a big finale. 

The pain in Madison's abdomen was almost unbearable, she was surprised she hadn't passed out yet, especially after taking a pair of ladders to the gut about ten minutes ago, but seeing the look on Sasha's face was all it took. The look that said, 'I'm game if you are', although Sasha was doing her best to hide it from the crowd. Madison looked down on her fallen opponent from the top of the ladder, she pointed skyward, this was for her parents, and then she leapt, spinning as she went, and landed an almost perfect Phoenix splash onto Sasha.

Both women cried out in pain, but the reaction of the crowd told them both that it was worth it. Madison shook the stars from before her eyes and pulled herself up, using the ladder for leverage. As she climbed each rung the crowd's chanting was growing and growing until it was just a cacophony of noise, all building in her chest to bring her the most incredible feeling. 

As she reached the top, she looked directly at the treasure, that belt of silver that signified that she had made it, that she was good enough. As she reached out and took it, unclasping the fasten and let it fall into her waiting arms, she couldn't help the few tears that fell from her eyes. Then her character took over, she pulled her face into an arrogant snarl and looked down at Sasha, knowing that the elevated camera would be trained on her face. 

“ It's about time, it's all about me now, bitch.” She shouted down to the still lifeless body of The Boss.

Madison jumped down from the ladder and slid from the ring, not slapping hands with any of the crowd, even though she wanted to grab each one of them into a hug. As soon as she was backstage she was surrounded by people, she felt three people grab hold of her, pulling her into a huge group hug, and she immediately knew it was her boys. She could barely make out a word they were saying, so she tried to come back down to reality.

“ You're fucking crazy, you know that?” Dean said happily.

“ Sweet Phoenix splash, put me to shame.”

Madison heard other people congratulating her; Naomi and the Usos were among them. Then she saw the curtain move and Sasha walk in, she detached herself from the guys and ran over to the smaller women. The second they reached each other they pulled each other into a huge hug, not caring that every part of their bodies hurt.

“ We nailed it!” Madison grinned.

“ You nailed it.” Sasha replied.

“ Nah, we both did.”

“ Okay, I'll take it.” They were laughing and crying all at once and were both surprised when a huge round of applause sounded around them, almost the whole roster had congregated to congratulate them. 

This was it, this was the moment that Madison felt she had truly made it; surrounded by her peers, all congratulating her on a job well done. She had never been happier that she chose the job instead of Benji.

* * *

Once she had been congratulated, hugged and slapped on the back what felt like a thousand times she slunk back to her dressing room, hoping no one would notice. When she shut the door behind her she fell against the wall, her back hitting the cool cement before sliding down to the floor, the belt still in her hands. She held it up and let her head drop against it, tears falling silently down her sweat-covered face. She needed these few moments to herself, everything was getting to be too much. All of a sudden it seemed that the adrenaline from the match left her body and the overwhelming aches and pains took over, the worst being the sharp stabbing pains in her ribs, obviously exacerbated by the match. The door swung open and several pairs of feet shuffled in across the tiled floor.

“ Look at our girl, our little champion.” Dean cooed in an overly sweet voice, usually Madison would have made a sarcastic remark back, but right now her heart swelled at being called their girl.

She didn't look up at them, but she could picture them all standing around her looking down at her with joy in their eyes, she couldn't have coped with seeing that. 

“ I feel like I got hit by a truck.” She moaned.

“ Serves you right for that unnecessary Phoenix splash off the top of the ladder, Sasha was down for the count, it was just showing off at that point.”

“ Did it look good?”

“ I can't believe you even have to ask, it looked sick.” Seth sounded so proud.

Madison pushed herself up, still leaning her weight against the wall. She winced as she straightened out, the pain in her ribs reaching new heights. She gasped to try and get air into the lungs that once again felt empty. All three men wore looks of concern.

“ Lemme see.” Roman stepped forward and slid the material of Madison's top upwards to reveal the tape on her ribs, Seth and Dean looked at each other curiously, since when had Roman and Madison been this close that she would let him touch her like that?

As Roman deftly unwrapped the tape from around Madison's abdomen, the look in the other two men's eyes turned to concern and horror. The blue-black bruising was fierce against the soft tan of the girls flesh, redness surrounded it from the match.

“ No way is that all from the match.” Dean said suspiciously.

“ Benji turned up at my apartment.” Madison's voice was calm and steady, although inside she was cursing Roman for showing the others her bruises.

“ Are you fucking kidding me!? What happened? Well, I can see what happened. Why didn't you call us, why didn't you tell us?!” Seth was pacing now, Dean was stood stock still, which was juxtaposed to their usual conditions.

“ He was in my apartment when I got back from shopping with Naomi on Wednesday. It's sorted now, don't worry about it.”

“ Don't worry about it!? For God's sakes Madison. You should have called. He could have done anything, he could have killed you. Where'd he go?”

“ Probably the hospital with a broken jaw and a couple of cracked ribs.” Roman interjected as he sensed Madison getting uncomfortable. “ I was dropping off something that Madison had left in my bag when I heard the commotion inside. I dealt with it, it's done.” He felt bad lying to his friends, but he knew that if he said Madison had called him first then they would get suspicious, after all, the both of them were closer to her than he was.

“ Thank God. You shouldn't stay home alone though, just in case he comes back.”

“ I got a new place. Moved in on Friday, he won't find me.”

“ Still, I'd feel better if one of us were with you, what're you doing for Christmas?” Seth wouldn't let it be, she knew it.

“ Nothing, was just gonna chill at home, watch a couple of movies.”

“ Well, my parents are gonna be away visiting my brother so Dean and I were gonna hang out, you can come with us.”

“ Hell nah, what about me?” Roman stated.

“ I figured you were with the family.”

“ Nope, my parents have gone to Samoa for Christmas this year. Olivia is spending Christmas with her Mom, I get her the day after, and Kayla's gone back to Canada.”

“ I thought her Aunt died? How come she's there?” Dean asked, a little insensitively.

“ So I suggest that you all come to my house and have a proper Christmas, I already got most of the food and stuff in the freezer, just need the turkey.” Roman ignored Dean's question and no one wanted to push it, so it was left alone.

“ Guess that's Christmas sorted then.” Dean added. “ Roman's cooking is definitely better than take out and video games.”

“ You in Madison?”

Madison hesitated, was she really going to spend Christmas with Roman? That was too weird. But as she looked at the expectant looks on her friends faces, she knew that they wouldn't drop the subject until she agreed. She was annoyed at Roman for letting the cat out of the bag regarding her bruises, if he hadn't felt the need to check on her then she could enjoy a quiet Christmas in her new flat, sure, she would most likely have been terrified that Benji would somehow find her, but it beat socialising all weekend.

“ Sure, why not.” She tried to keep her smile genuine. “ Now, you guys mind leaving so I can shower. I'll meet you back at the hotel, I'll get a ride with Naomi or Cam.”

The guys left and Madison headed to the shower, cleaning off the sweat and make-up from her battered body. As the beautifully warm water cascaded over her, she once again slid down to the floor into a crouch position. She had no intention of riding back with anyone, she needed the walk to clear her head. It had been a crazy week.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I'm not gonna lie, this chapter is pure smut . . . enjoy ;)**

It was close to three in the morning when Madison got back to her room, the chill December air had helped ease her mind. She had the championship belt safely stored away in her suitcase, after the fiftieth time of admiring it. She had changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top and was totally ready for bed, her body needed a rest. As she exited the bathroom and was about to turn off the light there was a light knock at the door, she plodded over and opened it without looking through the peep hole. Roman was on the other side of the door, his hair slightly damp from a shower and he was wearing sweatpants and a plain blue t-shirt.

“ I just wanted to check on you, you know, see how you were feeling after the match.” He said, although Madison didn't really know why he had needed to check of her when they had already seen her after the match and she had sent a message on their group chat to let them know she was back at the hotel safe. Roman stood there awkwardly, Madison just looking at him blankly until she stepped out of the way to grant him access to her room, after all, she couldn't have him standing outside her door all night.

“ I told you, I'm okay, just sore.”

“ You're bound to be sore, even if it was just the bumps from the match.” 

“ Why did you need to show the others my bruises, now they're not gonna leave me alone. They'll be constantly asking if I'm alright.” Madison looked pissed off, and Roman didn't blame her, she had asked him to keep quiet about what had happened and he hadn't.

“ I'm sorry Maddy, I was just worried. I wanted to know you hadn't done more damage.” His eyes were impossibly soft and Madison was unnerved by them.

“ I don't need mollycoddling Roman, I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself.”

“ I just wanna help, I wanna be there for you.”

He stepped forward, getting into her personal space and Madison felt her breath hitch in her throat. His closeness was intoxicating and terrifying all at once, she froze to the spot, letting him move ever closer. He lifted his hands and placed them on her upper arms as he leant in for the kiss, Madison quickly dodged out of the way of it. Roman took a surprised step back.

“ What's the matter?”

“ Look Roman, I'm sorry about the other night, I didn't want you to have to see me like that, I shouldn't have told you what I did. I can't change that now, but it doesn't mean anything's changed, it still doesn't mean you can do what you want.”

Roman looked taken aback, of course it didn't mean he could do what he wanted, he would never make Madison do something she was uncomfortable with; he just thought that maybe, after how close he had felt to her that night, that maybe she had felt the same.

“ What is it with you and kissing, huh? Why is it so difficult for you to kiss me?”

“ You're married Roman.”

“ Yet you still fuck me.”

“ Please don't go there. Don't.” She warned, her eyes all too serious.

“ I just don't get it, I don't get you. It's like you don't let me look at you while we're doing it and you don't let me kiss you, but then that night, four weeks ago or whatever it was, you can't tell me it wasn't great. I was there Madison, I know what I felt.”

“ Roman, please stop.” Roman could tell Madison was getting a little panicked, but he couldn't let up on this now, it was one of the only things left that remained a mystery to him about this woman and he really wanted to get to the bottom of it.

“ No, I wanna know why you won't kiss me again. Why you can have sex with me, but not kiss me.” He was getting frustrated now, he wished she would just talk to him.

“ FINE! If you wanna know that fucking bad. After what Benji made me do, with those other guys, sex kinda stopped meaning anything to me, it was just something that men did to me, or something I used to get rid of my frustration if drugs or fights weren't an option. When I got to WWE, that's where you came in, you were my release. That's all it was. Meaningless. Clinical. Necessary. Kissing's different, kissing means something. Benji wouldn't kiss me all the time, I had to earn it, it meant something. It meant I was his and I was good. Before that night with you, I had only ever kissed Benji and Dean, and it was different with Dean, I don't know why, that's just how it is with me and him. And the other thing, that I wouldn't let you look at me, that's just how it's always been. That's the way Benji likes it, he doesn't want to see my face, he doesn't want me to see him, I guess it makes him feel vulnerable. It's about power, if the guy's behind me, if I can't see him, he can control me, he can do what he wants. Again, the only other person who it was different with was Dean. But then you came along and you fucked it all up. You touched me in ways that no one ever has, you touched my scar, it was like you wanted to, as though you liked it. I let myself get carried away, I let myself kiss you, I let myself look at you, I shouldn't have, it was wrong. I'm sorry.”

Roman stood with his mouth agape, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He could see a few tears rolling down her beautiful cheeks, she was genuinely sorry about kissing him, about looking at him, she honestly thought it had been wrong. He stepped forward, almost scared of reaching out and touching her.

“ Madison, you don't have to apologise.”

“ Well, now I've told you, is there any other pieces of me that you wanna take, there's nothing left Roman, you've taken it all, you know it all.”

Her small body was racking with sobs now and Roman's heart was breaking. He stepped closer and put his finger under her chin, lifting it slightly so she would look into his eyes. The vulnerability he saw there was astonishing, it was like she was stripped completely bare and he guessed she was in a way.

“ Madison, listen to me, you need to stop apologising. You've not done anything wrong. It wasn't wrong to kiss me, it wasn't wrong to look at me, I wanted you to do those things. And I do like touching your scar, I like the way you react to it, I like touching every part of you. I like kissing you, I liked seeing you come undone. That night Madison, when you let me kiss you, when you let me look at you, it was fucking perfect, you were perfect.”

His finger was still under her chin, her eyes blazing into his and Roman couldn't tell what he saw in them now, it had certainly changed. She was responding to what he was saying, she was listening to him and maybe, just maybe, she liked what she heard. He took one more step closer and leaned down, pressing his lips softly against hers.

Madison couldn't believe what was happening, what she was letting happen again. But those words, those words were like a balm, they soothed her mind and even her body wasn't hurting like it was before. She felt Roman's hand wrap around her waist, carefully avoiding her injured ribs and she relaxed into the kiss. What was she doing? After everything she had just said. But it just felt so good. And his words had been so good.

Roman slowly pulled Madison tank top over her head, she lifted her arms and allowed him to remove it, she wasn't wearing a bra. Instantly Roman's mouth fell to her exposed nipples, Madison couldn't help but moan at the sensation as he took one into his mouth, no one had ever done that to her before. She arched into his touch and she didn't even notice that he had removed all but his boxers. He backed Madison towards the bed, his fingers running along the waistband of her shorts. When he didn't meet any hesitation, he slid them down her slender legs, only then realising she wasn't wearing underwear either. He let out a delicious moan as he once again attached his lips to hers.

He gently pushed against Madison, trying to urge her to lay down on the bed, to which she obliged. She was looking intensely into his eyes as he removed his boxers, leaving them both completely naked. Madison lay back on the bed when Roman motioned for her to, and he climbed beside her. He trailed his fingertips down her body, making sure to graze over her scar before continuing down towards her aching core. 

Her legs parted for him, to which he groaned appreciatively, slowly sliding a finger inside of her. The noises she made were fantastic, Roman wished he could listen to them forever. He placed a kiss on the tender flesh just beside her right nipple, before tracing them down her abdomen, over her bruises and her scar before he was finally settled between her legs.

Madison hadn't seem to register that he had travelled down her aching body, her eyes were shut, enjoying the pleasure of his fingers inside of her. Only when she felt a kiss to her thigh did she open her eyes, finding the Samoan slotted between her legs, his smile wide and his lips inching closer to her core.

“ Roman . . .” She began, she had never had this done to her before either, she was hesitant, her eyes wide.

“ It's okay baby, I got you.”

Madison didn't know what was happening to her, his words, his mouth, they were destroying her, in the best possible way. They were breaking down the person she thought she was, giving her new experiences and sensations that she wasn't used to, wasn't worthy of. She gasped loudly at the first lick of his tongue on her sensitive bundle of nerves, it was so much different to a finger. Soon he had her writhing beneath him, the sensations becoming too much, she just needed her release.

“ Please Roman.”

“ Please what, Madison? Tell me what you want, I want to hear it.” 

Could she really do this? Could she really demand what she wanted, and he would listen?

“ I want you inside of me.” She managed, her voice quaking.

Roman crawled up her body, leaving lazy kisses on her flesh every now and then. When they were face to face she placed her hands timidly on his hips, wanting to feel him inside of her, something familiar instead of all of this newness. He kissed her strongly on the mouth, his tongue barely breaching the barrier of her lips as she pressed on his hipbones, trying to urge him forward.

“ No baby girl.” He said before rolling over and lying on his back next to her. He reached over and grabbed her wrist, pulling her over to him. “ You're in charge tonight Madison.”

Madison was kneeling on the bed now, Roman took one of her legs and pulled it over him, so she was straddling him.

“ No Roman, I can't . . . I mean, I've never . . .” The fear in her eyes was tangible.

“ It's okay, I told you, I got you.”

She looked into his eyes and knew he wasn't lying, he'd got her, he would make sure she was okay. He placed his hand at the base of his cock, lining up with her; with his other hand he took hold of her hip and guided her down onto his length. They both let out a pleasured moan. Madison was staring down at Roman, still scared, she didn't know how to do this, didn't know if she could. But now he was fully seated inside of her he placed his other hand on her hip also, gripping just enough to be able to guide her movements. But ultimately he wanted Madison to be in control, so once they had set a steady pace he let go of her hips, his hands rubbing her thighs as she bounced on his cock. He watched as her large breasts bobbed up and down with her movements, enthralled by the sight, God she was beautiful. 

“ That's perfect Madison.” He praised and now, when she looked down at him, he could see the faint trace of a smile on her lips.

The panting and moaning coming from the Goddess above him was music to his ears, he could tell she was enjoying the stimulation from the new position and soon enough he sensed she was close. As she succumbed to her orgasm her movements began to stutter and soon she had lost all rhythm she had set, so Roman took over, once again holding on to her hip as he now began to thrust up into her, letting her ride out her orgasm. 

All too soon he could feel his own building and he let his hand trail up to her scar, running his fingertips up and down the flesh as he released inside of her. Madison collapsed on top of him, her skin glowing. Roman manoeuvred so he could pull out of her before wrapping his arms around her.

He could tell Madison was exhausted, after all she had already been injured, then taken place in a brutal match-up and now enjoyed an extremely hot sex session. He ran his fingers up and down her smooth back as he listened to her breathing even out. They both must have drifted of to sleep pretty quickly.


	27. Chapter 27

Madison awoke and saw the green luminous digits on the alarm clock on the bedside table, informing her that it was a little after seven in the morning. She went to roll over, but became aware of a vice like grip keeping her in place, for a second she was confused. She pulled her head up a little and saw that she wasn't laying on her mattress at all, but a 265lb Samoan. 

Panic set in. 

She wriggled to get out of his grip, eventually succeeding as Roman began to stir. As soon as his embrace loosened enough she all but ran towards the bathroom, locking the door behind her and letting her back fall against it. How had this happened again? How had she let herself do this?

Memories of last night kept flashing through her mind, every one of them amazing, making Madison's flesh prickle with heat. She heard movement from the bed and footsteps headed in her direction, she squeezed her eyes shut, wishing it all away.

“ Hey Maddy, you okay?” His voice, his amazing sexy voice that she really didn't want to hear right now came drifting through the door.

“ Yep.” Was all she said, her voice clipped.

“ Come out please, talk to me.”

“ Please just go Roman, please.”

“ I can't Madison, I wanna make sure you're okay.”

“ ROMAN! PLEASE! I can't, please, just go.” Tears were springing in her eyes. Why did she keep doing this to herself, why couldn't she just leave him well alone?

She heard some more movement, hoping that it was Roman getting dressed and leaving.

“ Fine, I'm going. But you can't keep running from this Madison.”

His voice was strong and confident, Madison felt just the opposite. When she heard the door to her room close she unlocked the bathroom door and ventured out, thankfully the room was empty. She quickly took her phone from the bedside table and sent a message to her group chat with the guys saying she was going to rest up for Raw and letting them know not to disturb her, she would make her own way to the arena.

She sat on the bed, pulled the sheet around herself and felt her body start to shake. Last night had been nothing short of incredible, she had experienced things, done things that she never had before and each one was great. But she didn't deserve any of them. Or did she? When she was with Roman she felt like maybe she did deserve it, maybe all the praise he gave to her body was what she was entitled to, as a woman, as a person. But then Benji's ugly voice reared up in her head, telling her that she was worthless, that she was disgusting and she was used to those words, to those feelings, not the ones that Roman made her feel.

What did Roman make her feel? Desired? Wanted? Needed? Loved? . . . Maybe. She didn't know exactly what all those things felt like, she thought she had some of them with Benji, but nothing she felt with Benji compared to what she felt when she was with Roman. She felt safe, protected, she felt worthy. Madison wanted to smack her head hard against a wall, anything to get these hundreds of thoughts from running around and around her brain at a million miles an hour. She wanted to feel nothing, to feel numb.

* * *

Hell only knows how she managed to make it through Raw, she barely had any recollection of her promo, but everyone kept telling her it had been great. Luckily she hadn't had a match tonight, the bosses had thankfully given her and Sasha the night off from fighting, after the brutal physicality of their encounter the previous night. Madison now found herself in a bar. She apparently had been back to the hotel, showered and changed, but she didn't remember any of it. But it was okay now, she was with Dean and Seth, and they could make it better. They could make the pounding in her ears go away. Once they were seated in a booth her vision and hearing seemed to return to her and focus back in. That was better.

“ Is everything okay Mads? You seem a bit weird, a bit distant.” Seth sounded and looked concerned.

“ Everything's fine now, I'm with my guys. I'm okay.”

“ You had us worried today, you didn't seem yourself.” Dean interjected.

“ Just exhausted. Nothing a couple of drinks and you guys won't cure.”

They chatted easily for around half an hour, mainly about the show and the pay-per-view the night before. A couple of other members of the roster who hadn't been around last night stopped by the table to congratulate Madison on her win, she politely thanked them all. It seemed she would have to get used to the compliments.

“ Where's Roman?” Madison asked, out of the blue. Why had she done that? Why did she care? She couldn't answer those questions, she only knew that she wanted to see him, wanted to see his impossibly handsome face.

“ With the Uso's. They'll be here soon.”

Paige and Alicia Fox joined them a little into the night, Seth and Paige sitting extremely close together and touching more than necessary. Madison smiled to herself, she had been so preoccupied with herself lately that she hadn't even noticed this little attraction start up between her two friends. Alicia eventually wandered over to where Wade Barrett and Sheamus were talking at the bar, all but draping herself over Wade. Dean and Madison headed over to the pool table to give Seth and Paige a little privacy.

A little while into their first game Madison noticed the door to the bar open and when a ruckus of noise was carried in, she knew that the Uso's had arrived; Roman, Naomi and Cameron in tow. They all said loud hellos as they rid themselves of their coats, it really was cold outside now. Roman scanned over the room, giving Madison and Dean a slight wave and Madison found herself thinking 'that's it? That's all I get?', but then again, she had all but kicked him out of her room this morning. Dean potted the black and won the game, gloating as he set up for the next one.

When on their third game Madison took another look around the bar, she saw that Seth and Paige were now playing tonsil tennis in the booth they had occupied all night, the Uso's, Naomi and Cameron seemed to be in a heated debate over whatever sports game was on the tele, and Roman . . . she couldn't see Roman at first, but then she spotted him at the bar, with an incredibly beautiful, tall blonde. Madison felt something unfamiliar in her gut, a pang of emotion . . . was it jealousy?

Surely it couldn't be, what did she have to be jealous of? She wasn't jealous of the way Roman was leaning into the woman, seemingly enthralled with whatever she was saying; she wasn't jealous of the way that the woman nonchalantly stroked her hand down the Samoan's arm while they spoke, or the way that he was laughing with her, that amazing honey like laugh of his. No, she wasn't jealous of any of that, was she? She couldn't be, because that would mean she had feelings for Roman, and that was impossible. That couldn't be true, couldn't happen. Despite everything, her love remained with Benji, and Roman was married. 

Dean once again potted the black and did a little victory dance, which Madison let herself smile at. He could always make her feel better. She glanced over at Roman again, her body started to shake, the same uncontrollable shivers that she had had this morning, that told her she was losing control; luckily Dean didn't seem to have noticed.

“ I'm gonna get some air Ambrose. Had just about enough of getting my ass whooped for one night.” She tried to smirk, not sure if she made it believable.

“ Well, you know where I am if you feel the need to get it whooped again. Or whatever else your sweet ass needs.” He leered and she couldn't help but let out a genuine laugh.

As she left through the front door she noticed Dean wander over to Renee Young and Summer Rae, she had always thought that Dean and Renee would make a cute couple.

The cold wind of the night bit into her skin through the light sweater she had on, she had neglected to pick up her coat when she left the bar. She didn't really care, she could block out the cold, she had more important things on her mind, like that sweet release. She couldn't stop picturing Roman with that woman, that incredibly beautiful woman, he was probably in there kissing her right now, the same way he had kissed her last night. Madison soon realised it was definitely jealousy that she was feeling, and that revelation was terrifying. She need to make it stop, to make it all stop. She quickly headed towards down town.

* * *

* * *

She was now sitting at the table in her hotel room, her bruised body perched uncomfortably on the stiff plastic chair. She couldn't really remember getting back to the hotel from where she had ended up, couldn't remember if she had got into a taxi or walked, but she was here now and she had what she needed. Her fingers were absent-mindedly playing with the five little circles in front of her, moving them around the table one by one into different formations. Why was that all she could do? Was it really so hard to pick one up and pop it into her mouth? After all, she had done it so many times before, it was actually really easy. But she just couldn't.

She thought she could vaguely hear her name coming from somewhere, but couldn't focus on it, could only focus on the little tiny pills. The light in the room shifted, had she not shut the door behind her? Must have been the wind.

“ MADISON! WHAT THE FUCK ...” She was shocked from her arranging of the tablets by a loud voice.

She looked up slowly, but the tears in her eyes stopped her from seeing who this intruder was. She tried to focus, blinking over and over.

“ Please tell me you didn't take any.” The voice belonged to Dean, even if she couldn't make out the face.

He took a hold of her jaw, squeezing roughly to get her mouth to open, he seemed satisfied that it was empty and let her jaw go, instead placing his hands on either side of her face.

“ Mads, can you hear me?” He sounded panicked, terrified even.

“ Yes.” She whispered and finally her eyes cleared as the tears released and ran down her face.

“ Did you take any?” He repeated his earlier question, Madison could tell he was afraid and her heart broke for him, he really shouldn't care about her that much.

“ No.” She managed before her body broke into sobs, she felt Dean's arms go around her.

He held her for a long time, Madison had no idea how long, but when he pulled away and held her at arms length she felt exposed.

“ What happened Madison? What made you feel like you needed this shit again?” His voice was soft, too soft for Dean Ambrose.

“ I can't deal with it Dean, I just wanted it all to go away. I just can't deal with it, I can't deal with him. I can't deal with how I feel about him.” She babbled.

“ You can't help how you feel Madison, you were with him a long time, it's not gonna be easy to get over. Has he tried to contact you?”

Dean thought she was talking about Benji, that was okay, it was better that Dean thought that.

“ No.”

“ Good, but this isn't how you deal with your feelings Madison, not anymore. You have a family now, you have us. We're here for you, you can't go down this road again.”

“ I know, I couldn't even take them. I just can't deal with it Dean, he's in my head, he's always, always in my head.” She hit her clenched fist against her temple several times.

Even though they were talking at cross purposes, the mere fact that Dean was there was helping her, was making her feel a little more like she could deal with it.

“ I know baby, I know.”

He held her again for a long time, her muttering on about wanting to get him out of her head, Dean believing she was talking about her abusive ex-boyfriend and not one of his best friends. When her sobbing had stopped he stood up and took the pills from the table, flushing them down the toilet before returning to his friend.

Eventually he guided her towards the bed, taking his shoes off before laying down on top of the covers, fully clothed. He pulled Madison down to rest against his chest and hugged her close.

“ I'm here Madison, you got family now, you got everything you need.” Dean spoke constantly, trying to fill her thoughts with good things instead of that ass-hole Benji. “ You got the full package. You got me, I'm like the head, I get you, you know that. I understand you, we click, I know you feel that too, it's like we're totally on the same wave length. Then you got Seth, he's the heart, you got history with him and he loves you to death, although right now he's probably preoccupied with screwing Paige, but he loves you best.” He was happy when Madison let out a giggle at this. “ Then you got Ro, he's definitely the body, I mean, have you seen him, he's like a Samoan God. You can just look at his pretty face when you get bored.” Dean wasn't aware of the pang in Madison's chest at the mention of Roman. “ We're the whole package babe. Then you got Naomi for all the girly shit. What more could you need in life? We're always gonna be here for you now Mad Max, whether you get sick of us or not, we'll always be around now. You don't need no shitty little pills, you just need us, you need your family.”

Madison had drifted off to sleep while Dean chattered on, he stayed with her the whole night, eventually drifting off too.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **So sorry I've been slow on updates this past week, I've been back and work and not had much time.**
> 
> **Hopefully these few chapters will make up for it**

When they woke in the morning they didn't speak about the night before. Madison packed her bag ready for Smackdown; they were heading home straight after the show so they could enjoy the Christmas break. Dean then took her hand and they walked to his room to collect his things before meeting Seth and Roman at the car.

There was no fun and games in the car today, Dean drove, with Madison in the passenger seat and Seth and Roman in the back. Seth was exhausted from the previous night, most of which he spent awake with Paige, plus he was a little hungover. Roman was lost in thought and Dean and Madison were enjoying the sense of peace between them from the previous night, barely even noticing the others were there. No one complained and they were soon at the arena and getting ready for the show.

* * *

“ Hey Ro, can I talk to you for a sec.” Dean grabbed Roman's wrist when he passed him in the corridor a little while later, the Samoan looked confused but followed his friend into one of the offices.

Dean was twitchy, twitchier than usual and it worried Roman, he was only this way when he was really anxious about something. Roman laid his large hand on his friend's shoulder which seemed to calm him a little, at least enough to speak.

“ I need your help with something, I kinda walked in on something last night and well, I want you to tell me if I should tell Seth or not. I mean, I know Seth's like one of my best friends and everything, but I just don't know what he'd do if he found out, but I feel like maybe he should know.” Dean was babbling and he knew it.

“ Look, if you walked in on him and Paige, I'm sure he wouldn't give a shit, we've seen his ass plenty enough times.” Roman laughed, trying to ease some of the tension he felt.

“ It's not that, if I'd have walked in on that I'd of just thrown some cold water on 'em! . . . It's Madison.”

Roman tensed up, what could Dean possibly have walked in on that he thought Seth would react badly to? He really hoped it wasn't another guy, he already didn't like that he felt like he was competing against Dean on that front.

“ What's up with Madison?” He tried to keep his tone even.

“ I don't know how much you know about the shit she did in the past, like drugs and stuff . . . but like she was being weird in the bar last night, well, all day yesterday actually. Then she left right after we were done playing pool, it was still pretty early, she just said she needed air. But then it was about two hours later and I noticed she wasn't back, and then I saw her coat was still on the hook, so I went back to the hotel looking for her. She was in her room, safe and everything, but she had some pills. They were all lined up on the table, she was like moving them around with her fingers, just sorta playing with them, she swore to me she didn't take any.”

Roman was super tense now, was this something to do with him? Had he somehow managed to push Madison too far, far enough that she thought she had to resort to drugs?

“ Did she say anything else?”

“ She was just babbling about Benji pretty much, saying that he was in her head, that she couldn't deal with her feelings for him or some shit. She said he hadn't tried to contact her though, which is good. I calmed her down and got rid of the pills. I stayed with her 'til this morning.” Dean explained.

“ Good. I'm sure she needed that.”

“ Thing is Ro, I just feel so responsible for her, I don't know why. I mean . . . I'm gonna tell you somethin' and I ain't never told anyone before, but . . . that scar that Madison has, that big one all across her torso . . .”

Roman waited with bated breath to hear the end of that sentence.

“ . . . I gave her that scar.”

Roman couldn't breathe. “ I don't understand.”

“ Not like on purpose or anything. It was in CZW, you know we used to have these crazy matches, well, this particular one was me and a guy called Homicide and it was a barbed wire match, like where you have barbed wire instead of ropes.” Dean ignored the slight horror on Roman's face, he was used to that look when he spoke to most people about his time in the hardcore promotion. “ We were in the middle of this huge feud, and for this particular match he had a valet, for no real reason other than they liked to parade pretty girls around wearing very little clothing. So, this one match there's this thin blonde chick, big rack, beautiful. So me and the guy are going at it, and at one point I got him against the wire and this chick, she jumps up on the apron and grabs my arm, tries to get me off of him. I can tell she's fucking high, her eyes are all big and glazed over, but I'm in match mode, I can only focus on what's going on in the ring, so I pushed her off me. She gets twisted up in the wire, not for long, she gets free pretty quick and she stays out at ringside so I figure it's all good. I lost the match and headed to an empty locker room. Then this girl bursts in, all twitchy and blood all down her side, I was used to the blood, I mean, I was covered in it too, it didn't really ring any alarm bells. Anyway, one thing leads to another and I'm fucking her against the wall in the locker room, she's got her blood, my blood, fucking smeared all over her, rubbing it in her tits and shit . . . anyway, long story short, it's Madison.”

“ Can you please tell me why I needed all that graphic detail, what's your point?” Roman felt a little ill from imaging Madison like that.

“ Sorry dude, got a little carried away. Anyway, a few weeks ago, the night me and her . . . you know, again . . . well, she tells me that when she left my locker room, she passed out, woke up in the hospital and that's when she decided to get clean, to give it up. Don't you see? I was there at her fucking lowest point, I _was_ her lowest point, I fucking scarred her Roman, I have to protect her now.”

“ I'm sure Madison doesn't see it like that, she loves you.”

“ I know, but _I_ see it like that. I saw that scar on her, when we were playing strip poker and I knew, I knew it was my fault and that's with her forever. A reminder of who she was back then, I don't want to ever let her be that person again.”

“ I get it.”

“ So, do I tell Seth about the pills? I mean, he's like the closest one of us to her. I told her last night, he's the heart, I'm the head, you're the body.”

“ Dean, you lost me. I'm the body?”

“ I dunno, it's all just fucking with my head. I was just trying to make her feel better, I told her that we're her family, that we're all she needs, the whole package. I'm the head, 'cause I get her and we sorta click or whatever, Seth's the heart 'cause they go way back and he loves her to death, and you're the body 'cause you're so Goddamn beautiful.”

Roman laughed, despite himself. “ Oh yeah, and how'd she take that?”

“ Dunno, she fell asleep, think it made her feel better. So, do I tell Seth?” Dean was getting impatient and even more fidgety.

“ She didn't take any, right?”

“ Nope.”

“ Then I wouldn't bother him with it. He'll only worry himself to death over it. If it happens again, then we tell him, okay?”

“ Thanks Rome.”

“ It's okay. You know, you're a sweet guy Ambrose, looking after her like that.”

“ She's our girl, right?”

_Yeah, she's our girl, she's **my** girl_. Roman thought. 

He gave Dean a bro-style hug and they headed out into the arena. Dean seemed to have a weight off his mind, talking with Roman really seemed to have helped. Roman on the other hand had a whole new weight on his mind, and he needed to talk to Madison as soon as possible.

* * *

Roman headed straight for Madison's locker room, with her now being the champ she got her own private one. He needed to talk to her to find out if he was responsible for her almost dabble with drugs last night. The mental image that Dean had given him of how Madison used to be was disturbing to say the least and he didn't ever want to think about her ending up like that again, especially not because of him. 

When he reached the small room he steeled his nerves and calmed his breathing before he pushed open the door and stepped in. He realised that Seth was already here, which dashed any hopes of having a private chat with the brunette.

He saw that the woman in question was standing in front of Seth wearing what would have looked like only a towel had it not been for the thin green straps he could see over her shoulders. Neither had yet noticed his presence. For an awful moment he felt like he may have interrupted an intimate moment between his friends, but was soon reassured when he heard what they were saying.

“ Come on Maddy, just show me, it can't be that bad.” Seth spoke and Madison hesitated. “ Come on, I've seen you almost naked before.” He laughed.

“ Fine. It's ridiculous what they want me to wear, I thought it was meant to be all about women's wrestling nowadays?” Her voice sounded annoyed as she dropped the towel to reveal her required ring attire.

Roman took in the tiny green shorts that, from his position to the side of her, he could see showed at least half of her ass cheeks, the green bra top that gave an amazing view of her impressive cleavage and to top it off, the green knee high ring boots that had little bells on the toes. All three items had a red trim and had Roman almost drooling as he took in the sight. He noticed Seth's eyes almost pop out of his head on seeing her, but he quickly regained his composure and had a small smirk on his face.

“ It is all about the wrestling, but Christmas is a special time of year, which obviously is more about the tits and ass.” He replied sarcastically. “ Anyway, looks like it's having the desired effect.” He gestured towards where Roman was standing at the door.

Madison spun around, her belled toes jingling with the motion, when she saw it was Roman at the door her eyes widened in shock, but she didn't want Seth to sense anything was wrong so she settled her face on a smile. Roman noticed that her hand was covering the front of her scar so you couldn't tell it was there if you didn't already know. He stepped further into the room and sat on the bench next to Seth.

“ It's bullshit is what it is. I thought they had respect for us these days!” She was ranting.

“ Is it because of the bruises?” Seth offered.

“ Like I give a shit about some bruises. It's bad enough that they want me to wrestle like some slutty elf, but do you really think I'm going to go out there with this thing on show?” She moved her hand for a second to let them two men know what she was talking about.

As she was ranting she didn't notice Dean slip into the room, Roman did however.

“ If I go out with my scar on show I'd scare the kids and make half the adults sick and probably get fired if I didn't die of shame.”

After what Dean had confessed to Roman not twenty minutes previous, Roman watched out for his reaction to Madison's words. The look he saw on his friends' face almost made his heart break in two. He was about to say something to hopefully make both of his friends feel better, but Seth beat him to it.

“ Madison, your scar is just as beautiful as every other part of you. And even if it wasn't, if you went out there dressed like that I can guarantee you that it wouldn't be your scar anyone was looking at. You'd be the hottest chick in the ring.”

“ Don't let Carmella hear you say that.” Roman quipped.

“ Or Paige.” Madison grinned, calming a little, as a blush rose on Seth's cheeks. 

When Roman next looked at Dean he saw that he had visibly relaxed and for that he was thankful, he even had his usual mischievous smirk back in place.

“ How's my favourite seasonal prostitute?” He grinned as Madison's head snapped around to glare at him.

“ See? I told you I look awful.”

“ Hell babe, far from it. If I didn't have the utmost respect for you, I'd pop a boner right here.” He laughed.

“ You're fucking gross Ambrose!”

“ But you love it!” 

Madison launched herself at the blonde, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his head in a sleeper hold. 

“ Rubbing yourself up against me like that is really not gonna help.”

Madison tightened her grip and Dean struggled against her, unable to unlock the grip she had on him. He turned around and pressed Madison's back against the wall so that he could try and prise apart her interlocked ankles. Roman had an all to real glimpse of how it must have looked the two times Dean and Madison were together, and he didn't like it. 

Madison happened to make eye contact with him accidentally over Dean's shoulder and immediately untangled herself from the other man. Roman couldn't tell from her expression what she was thinking or feeling, she was completely unreadable to him.

“ I'm gonna get changed. I'm the champ, they can't tell me what to wear.” She said, shooing them out of the room. “ I might keep the boots though, I kinda like 'em.”

They were all laughing as the three men left the room, the atmosphere between the friends was better than it had been for a few days now and all of them felt glad about that.


	29. Chapter 29

They all chucked their bags into the taxi after they'd showered and changed from the show; they were flying back to Florida, as no one had offered to take on the eight hour drive back home this close to Christmas. The twenty minute drive to the airport was quiet, they were all tired from their matches and were very much looking forward to their five days off; no one could quite believe it when they had been told there were no house shows this weekend.

They checked in hurriedly, only having to stop for a couple of photos, and soon they were in the VIP lounge. All four felt a little bad for hiding out in here, but they were all too exhausted to be talking to fans constantly as they waited for their flight. As they sat down on the comfy chairs around one of the tables in the lounge and ordered their drinks they let out a collective sigh. It felt good to not have to be back at work until Monday.

“ So, did anyone say anything to you about not wearing the elf getup?” Roman asked as their drinks were brought to them.

“ Carrano came to me after my match trying to bitch at me.”

“ Mads, does the company even know about your scar?” Seth asked.

“ Not as far as I know. As soon as it happened I started to wear longer tops to wrestle and it's not like I show much skin out of the ring anyway. Hell, if I hadn't got drunk that night at the hotel, even you wouldn't know I had it.” Madison directed that last comment at Seth, because obviously Roman would know, and Dean would have probably assumed it had scarred, even if he wouldn't have known the full extent of it.

“ Maybe you should tell them, then you wouldn't have to worry all the time.”

“ Are you freaking kidding me? They don't want their divas to be damaged goods! I just showed Mark the bruises on my ribs and told him that they were from the match with Sasha. He bought it.”

When Madison spoke about being damaged goods Roman saw Dean scoot a little further away from her on the small sofa they were sharing.

“ Anyway, I'm glad you're spending Christmas with us.” Seth chimed.

“ Me too. As much as I don't like being babied, it beats sitting around at home wondering if my psycho boyfriend is gonna come after me.”

“ _Ex_ -boyfriend.” Seth's face was worried but stern, Madison looked at the floor, a far away look in her eyes.

“ Yeah, I guess I need to get used to that.” None of the guys could tell if she was relieved or sad. “ I just wanna thank you guys for looking out for me, even if you do make me feel like a kid sometimes.”

“ We'd do anything for you Madison.” Seth's voice was serious, it brought a tear to the woman's eyes.

“ Yeah, even give up a week of shitty video games for Roman's amazing cooking.” Dean had a cute grin on his face and Madison wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered, 'thank you for last night' in his ear, he responded with a kiss to the side of her head.

Their flight was announced soon after.

* * *

On the plane, Seth and Madison were seated on one side of the aisle, with Roman and Dean on the opposite side.

“ You feeling okay today? You've been a little off these last couple of days.” Seth said as his eyes scanned over her face.

“ I'm okay. It's just been a long week for me, with Benji and then TLC.” _And Roman. And the almost relapse._ She added silently.

“ I know, I'm just glad you're safe. It's lucky Roman was there when he was.”

“ Yeah, lucky.” Madison was still struggling with what she was feeling towards the Samoan, and she felt bad for calling him rather than one of the other two on that fateful evening. “ Y'know, this is gonna be my first proper Christmas since my parents . . .”

“ You and Benji never celebrated it properly?”

“ Nope. He'd be out usually, selling or drinking. I'd be home alone.” As she spoke softly, she laced her fingers with Seth's and laid her head on his shoulder. “ Remember when you invited me to your house for Christmas that year? That must have been, what, like six years ago?”

“ Yeah, I remember.”

“ I wish I'd have gone.” She sounded wistful.

“ Me too, but at least we get to spend it together now little sis.”

“ I like it when you call me that.”

“ Good.” He kissed her hair and stroked his thumb over the back of her hand.

Soon both had fallen asleep.

* * *

“ Dean, you need to stop beating yourself up about the scar. I see how you react every time she mentions it, it ain't healthy.” Roman interrupted Dean who was scanning the snacks menu.

“ You've heard the stuff she says, she hates the thing. I did that to her.”

“ She only hates it 'cause it's been drilled into her head that's it's disgusting. That bastard made her think that.” Roman was getting heated, he always did when he thought about Benji.

“ Woah, chill dude. What makes you the expert on Madison 101 all of a sudden?” 

Roman realised he may have spoken out of turn, and he didn't want Dean to catch on to anything.

“ It's obvious isn't it? I mean, it's no like her scar's that bad. Plus, she's always hinting that she's chubby, and killing it in the gym constantly, and last time I looked she ain't got an ounce of fat where it's not supposed to be.”

“ You been looking, huh?” Dean grinned and wiggled his eyebrows.

“ No man, I just . . .”

“ Seriously dude, chill. Looking ain't against the law, Kayla won't get mad 'cause you were taking in the views, it's impossible not to, especially when the view's as good as Maddy.”

“ You sure there's nothing more going on between you two?” Roman had to ask again, if only to reassure himself.

“ Yeah man, I mean, she's beautiful, ain't no doubt about that. But that's all, I get on with her too well to try and be with her, we're too similar.” He laughed, but it didn't put Roman's mind at ease too much.

The conversation was over and Dean went back to the menu; he never ordered any food on these flights, but he always spent at least an hour going through the menu. Roman took out his book and began to read, although his thoughts were on Madison (they were, more often than not these days) and the conversation he was desperate to have with her about the previous night. He realised he was still staring at the same page in the book when Dean tapped him on the elbow and motioned over to where Madison and Seth were asleep snuggled into each other.

“ You sure it's best not to tell Seth about what happened last night?”

“ Yeah, it'll only worry him unnecessarily. Look how happy and relaxed they are together, it's best if we just leave them to it rather than risk a big fall out.” Roman reasoned, and Dean knew he was making sense, but he didn't like keeping things from his friends.

* * *

When they arrived back in Orlando they jumped in a taxi to Dean's place so that he could pack some clothes and grab his car. Once he was done the next stop was Madison's, she had to direct Dean as none of the guys knew where her new place was. When they entered they saw a few boxes in the front room, and that was all apart from a couple of items of furniture.

“ You sure do travel light.” Roman pointed out.

“ Yeah, never was one to collect much stuff, never needed it.”

“ It's better to collect memories, that's my philosophy.” Dean agreed, his place was also not cluttered with belongings.

“ Yeah, well I haven't collected many good ones of those either.” She said sadly.

“ You better start then.” He grinned at her and his dimples showed through, making her smile.

“ Yeah, I think I'm starting to.” She agreed before routing in a couple of the boxes to pull out some clothes. She swapped the dirty clothes in her case with the fresh ones and she was done. Her toiletries were already packed.

They next headed to Seth's, who was super excited to be greeted by a tail-wagging Kevin when he got through the door; his mom had left a note saying that she had dropped him off an hour ago, along with a box of presents, which Seth eyed excitedly. He packed his bag quickly and they were soon all back in Dean's car, Kevin was in a travel cage, but he didn't seem to mind.

When they were at Madison's new apartment, Seth had promised her that they would make this Christmas extra special for her, as she hadn't celebrated it in so long. Now, they were sat in the back of Dean's car with Madison feeding pieces of biscuit to Kevin, and talking about what they would do.

“ Can we watch Home Alone? . . . And Die Hard?” She asked.

“ Yep.” Seth chuckled.

“ Can we eat candy canes and drink hot chocolate by the fire?”

“ Yep.”

“ Can we sing Christmas carols?”

“ Yep.”

“ Can we leave out milk and cookies?”

“ Of course.”

With each suggestion from the woman beside him, Seth's smile grew. He loved seeing her so animated and with a genuine smile on her face. She let out a little giggle at his last affirmation and Seth couldn't help but pull her into a strong hug. Madison winced a little at the pressure on her ribs, but she wrapped her arms around him all the same.

“ What are you guys getting all excited and giggly about?” Dean inquired while looking at the through the rear-view mirror. “ Oh God Rome, they're getting all mushy and cute back there.”

“ We're just talking about the Christmas-y stuff we're gonna do.”

“ How's that exciting? Same shit, different year.” He sounded like a Scrooge, but the sparkle in his eye gave away the fact that he actually loved it.

“ It's my first real Christmas for almost a decade. I haven't celebrated it since my parents died.” Her voice sounded small and apologetic.

Roman turned around slightly to look at her and the glassy appearance of her eyes made his heart leap.

“ Well in that case, we'll have to make it extra special.” Dean grinned and Madison's face broke out into a huge, bright smile.


	30. Chapter 30

When they got to Roman's house about twenty-five minutes later they were all pretty tired. There were three guest bedrooms in Roman's huge house, as well as his own and Olivia's. Madison had noticed the way Roman had been looking at her in the car, and had a feeling that he wanted to talk to her about something. Whether it be what had happened between them on Monday night, or God forbid, Dean had told him about last night, it was a conversation that she didn't want to have.

“ Seth, I don't wanna be on my own, can I bunk with you and watch a Christmas film on your tablet?”

“ Yeah, of course, as long as you don't mind Kevin joining us too.” He smiled softly as he let Kevin out of his cage.

Madison was sure she saw a flash of annoyance across Roman's handsome face, but he didn't say anything, just busied himself with making sure the door was locked before they all headed upstairs.

* * *

Seth had fallen asleep after the first half hour of The Grinch, Madison was lying on her side with her back to him, his hand was rested on her hip, and Kevin was curled up between Seth's parted knees, snoring softly. The final credits of the film were rolling and Madison realised she needed a drink, she hadn't heard a single noise throughout the house in over an hour so knew everyone was asleep. She carefully removed Seth's hand from where it rested on top of her pyjama bottoms, and slid noiselessly out of the bed, managing to not even disturb Kevin. Slowly, she crept across the landing and down the stairs, hoping there were no creaky floorboards, luckily there wasn't. As she reached the kitchen she grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and rested her back against the counter top as she began to sip it.

“ Hey.” The voice coming from the darkened hallway startled her at first, and when she realised that it was Roman, a sense of mild panic came over her.

“ I thought everyone was asleep, sorry if I woke you.” 

“ Couldn't sleep.” He said plainly as he stepped into the room, Madison could see the conflicted look on his face and realised that he still wanted to talk to her, her panic grew.

“ I better head back up, Seth'll be wondering where I am.” 

She started to head back towards the stairs, praying to a God she didn't believe in that Roman would just leave her be, she didn't think she could deal with this tonight. She passed by Roman, making sure that her body didn't brush his as they crossed in the doorway. Her breathing was controlled as she stepped onto the first step, thinking that she had gotten away without having to talk to him about something she wasn't ready to.

“ Dean told me.” He said to her back and a cold shiver ran down her spine.

“ He had no right to.” She said, not turning around to face him, but her body was frozen with one foot on the floor and one on the first stair.

“ He's worried.”

“ It's _my_ business.” She tried to keep her voice harsh, but inside she was quaking as she finally turned around to face him and saw the pained look in his eyes.

Madison, we're your friends, we just wanna help.”

" I don't need help.”

" The Hell you don't. Answer me something . . . was it because of me?” 

“ Why would it be because of you?” She spat, hoping to get him to back off, he was much to close to the truth for Madison's liking. 

“ I don't know, because of what happened on Sunday night. Did I push you too far? Ask for too much?” 

“ It's all too much Roman.” Her heart was hurting, she was begging for this to be over, all she wanted was to be back in bed. 

“ What d'you mean?” 

“ Nothing. It doesn't matter.” 

She tried to walk away again and head up the stairs, but he caught her wrist in his hand, he kept a firm but gentle grip on it. 

“ Roman, _please_.” 

“ No Madison, I told you, you can't keep running from this. Talk to me.” 

Madison let out a long drawn-out sigh, but changed direction and headed for the lounge. Roman followed her and closed the door gently behind him. He stood watching the woman in front of him, she wasn't pacing, but she wasn't still either. Her arms were crossed defensively over her chest and her fingers were tapping on her elbows, it reminded him of Dean. He was right, they were very similar. 

The expression on her face was pained and he felt bad for causing it, but that didn't mean he was going to let her get away without talking to him. He soon realised that she wasn't going to speak, so he decided to break the silence, still keeping his distance to let her have some space. 

“ What d'you mean 'it's all too much'?” His voice was gentle and caring. 

“ Please Roman.” There were tears in her beautiful eyes and her voice was only a whisper. 

“ Please what? What do you want me to do?” 

“ Stop trying to make me talk.” 

“ I just need to know if what you almost did last night was because of me, and how I can make it better.” 

“ You can stay away from me.” The tears began to flow down her pretty face and Roman felt a tug at his heart strings; he wanted to go over and pull her into his arms, but he knew that would not help at the moment. 

“ I'm sorry Madison, I don't think I can.” He spoke honestly, and her eyes flicked up to meet his. “ Please just talk to me, make me understand.” He chanced taking a step closer to her, but didn't reach out to touch her just yet. She was silent again for a good few minutes before she let out a ragged breath. 

“ It's too much Roman, it's messing with my head. I don't know what to think, I don't know what to feel, I've never been in this situation before.” 

“ What situation? Having an affair?” Because, no matter how much he tried to deny it, that was in effect what they had been doing. 

“ No, well, yes . . . but I just mean . . . everything. Like, I've never actually enjoyed sex before, it was just about getting what I needed, or giving someone else what they needed. But you make me feel things, do things, that I never have before.” 

“ That's good though, I want you to enjoy it.” 

“ But I can't handle it, the way you touch me . . .” 

“ So that is why you went out and bought drugs? Because of Sunday?” 

She turned away, as though trying to hide her face from him, he wasn't sure whether to take this as confirmation or not. 

“ No.” 

“ Then what?” 

“ I can't . . . don't look at me.” 

Roman turned his head away from her, hoping that this was what she needed to open up to him. There was only the sound of Madison's ragged breath, but Roman didn't dare look up at her in case she was looking at him and it would make her back away. 

“ After . . . what happened . . . on Sunday, I know I freaked out . . . it was . . . it was because I couldn't handle it. I mean, we slept together, I mean, actually _slept_ together. It just felt . . . weird. And that was bad, because it didn't feel bad, it just felt . . . weird. Do you know what I mean?” 

Roman didn't really know what she meant, but he made a sort of humming noise that sounded as though he was agreeing with her, but just hoped that she would carry on. She started pacing, but he still didn't dare to look up. 

“ I felt safe . . . and good. Then it hit me, like those first few moments after you wake up, when you're not really processing what's going on, then reality hits you and . . . I panicked. I know it wasn't fair to just kick you out like that, but you have to understand that I never had that before, I've never woken up in someone's arms before . . . not like that anyway. All morning, all day, I was thinking about what happened that night, the things you showed me, the things you gave me, I couldn't stop them running through my head. The feelings you brought out of me . . . eugh.” 

Roman looked up now, he couldn't help himself. Madison's skin was flushed as though she was embarrassed to be talking about these things, her cheeks were shining where the tears hadn't yet dried against her flesh. She had her arm up by her head, hitting herself on the forehead with the heel of her hand. It seemed as though she was trying to knock those thoughts and feelings out of her head. All he wanted to do was touch her, but he didn't move or speak, he felt that she still had more to say. 

“ I have no idea how I got through Raw, I don't remember any of it, not even my promo. And then we were in the bar, and I found myself wondering where you were, and then you came in with Jimmy and Jey and I was glad. I like, I wanted to see your face. It sounds weird, I know. Then I was playing pool with Dean and I look over and you're at the bar with this . . . woman. I'm sure you remember her, she was tall and blonde and gorgeous.” 

Was Roman imagining things, or did Madison sound jealous? He still let her continue. 

“ I saw you, I watched you, talking with her, laughing with her. She kept putting her hand on your arm and . . . it pissed me off. I don't even know why. It made me angry, thinking that you were probably gonna take her back to the hotel, that she was gonna be with you . . . like I was with you. I didn't want to think about it, but it just kept flashing in my mind. So I went down town and I got the pills to shut my stupid head up.” 

Roman couldn't believe it, it really did sound like Madison was jealous, it made him smile a little, but the agonised look on the brunette's face made him quickly rescind the smile from his face. 

“ I didn't go back to the hotel with her, she was a fan, I was just chatting with her and then she went back to her friends. Maybe she was hitting on me or whatever, but I wasn't interested.” 

“ You don't need to explain yourself to me Roman, I don't deserve your explanation. It wasn't right for me to have those feelings, it wasn't right for me to think those things.” She was pulling at her hair a little and Roman finally moved and took her into his arms, she resisted at first, but he kept a firm grip around her and she soon relaxed and laid her head on his chest. 

“ Of course you deserve it Madison. And your feelings, whatever you're feeling, it's not wrong, it could never be wrong.” 

Madison was sobbing in his arms once again. 

“ It is wrong. I felt possessive. That's not right. I have all these confusing feelings inside of me and I don't know how to deal with them. It was just meant to be sex, it was just meant to ease the tension, the anger, how did it get to be this? Why does it make me feel like this?” 

“ Hey come on beautiful. You're not the only one who's having feelings that they aren't sure about.” He hoped this would reassure her, but it didn't really have much of a calming effect; she just looked up at him with a confused look on her face and he couldn't help it, he leaned down and kissed her. He was happy when she kissed him back immediately, his arms tightened around her a little. When the kiss broke he looked into her red-rimmed eyes and his heart broke at the confusion and pain there. 

“ Maybe I should stay away from you . . . at least in that way. You need time to sort your head out, your relationship only just broke up, and then with what Benji did, you need time to heal Madison.” 

“ Yeah, I think so.” 

“ Okay. Good. Thank you for talking to me though.” He kissed her forehead. 

“ I'm sorry Roman.” 

“ For what?” 

“ For thinking all this shit. You're a married man, I fucked up so bad.” 

“ Hey, come on. Just try and calm down, and stop apologising. Let's head back to bed and tomorrow we can start having an amazing family Christmas, yeah?” 

“ Yeah, thank you.” 

They walked slowly back up the stairs and parted ways at the top, Madison headed back to the room she was sharing with Seth. When she crawled back in to bed Seth's arm immediately wrapped around her waist, and Kevin shuffled up so he was lying in front of her stomach. 

“ You okay Mads?” 

“ Yeah, just kinda sad. Seth, why can't you just be my boyfriend, it'd be so much easier, just me, you and Kevin.” 

“ 'Cause that'd be weird 'cause you're my little sister.” He said, his voice sleepy. 

“ Well, surely it's weird that you're spooning your little sister in that case.” 

“ Nah.” He stated simply and pulled her closer to him, she just giggled softly, feeling a little better already. 

As she was drifting off to sleep she thought about the conversation she had just had with Roman. She had been honest, too honest and he had been so accepting and caring. As much as it freaked her out to be having the feelings she was, having shared it with Roman made her feel like a little of the weight had been taken off her shoulders, and he hadn't blamed her or been mad at her. Maybe she could be happy in this new little family. 


	31. Chapter 31

The next morning Madison woke up and she was still in Seth's arms, but Kevin was no longer with them. She felt Seth stirring behind her and smiled when she felt a kiss being placed on the back of her shoulder.

“ Morning little sis. Happy Christmas eve eve.”

“ Morning Sethie. But Christmas eve eve isn't a real thing.” She turned around to face him and laughed when he kissed the tip of her nose.

“ I smell bacon, what d'ya say we go get on that?”

Madison agreed and they both went to get washed up; Madison in the en-suite and Seth in the main bathroom. When they made it downstairs they found Dean cooking breakfast, while feeding little bits of bacon to Kevin.

“ You're gonna make my dog fat.” Seth scowled at his friend.

“ Well he shouldn't be so damn cute and then I wouldn't feel the need to feed him.”

“ I'm cute, can I have bacon?” Seth fluttered his eyelashes.

“ Nah, you're not my kinda cute. Madison gets bacon though.”

Madison smiled and stuck her tongue out at Seth, before heading over to Dean and wrapping her arms around his waist from behind.

“ You're very huggy this morning, what's gotten into you?”

“ I'm just happy.”

“ Well, you'll probably be even more happy if you go and see what Roman's up to in the front room.” He smiled. “ Seth, help me plate up breakfast.”

Madison was curious as to what Dean meant, so she headed into the other room while the two men set the table and put the food out. When she opened the door she saw a few boxes and a huge eight foot Christmas tree, and she felt a surge of excitement. Roman turned around to face her and saw the beaming smile on her face and his own grew to match it. The sparkle in her eyes was incredible, he didn't think he'd ever seen her eyes look so alive.

“ We really get to decorate the tree?”

“ Of course, we gotta have a tree, don't we? You can even put the star on.” He chuckled as the small brunette launched herself at him and threw her arms around him in a tight hug. He returned the gesture and they heard Dean calling them to let them know that breakfast was served.

* * *

There were times in Madison's life, many in fact, when she wondered what the point was. What was the point in waking up everyday if she was just the same old Madison? What was the point in busting her ass in the gym if she still couldn't attain the perfect body? What was the point in putting her body on the line every time she stepped into the ring, for other people's entertainment? What was the point in forcing herself to speak to others and try to forge relationships when people always leave? And then, there were times, like right now, when the three smiling and laughing faces in front of her were all the answer she needed. 

This was her family now, these three men who had made such an impact on her life, who wanted her in theirs. It was odd to her that anyone other than her parents would actually want her to be part of their world. And God, her parents had wanted her so badly, and had cherished every moment of having her until they were cruelly ripped away. Then came Benji, she knew, if she really let herself think about it now, that she was just a convenience to him, a trophy, but she didn't let herself think about it. She had loved him, let him have whatever he wanted, and she had thought that was all normal, that it was good. And then these three men came along and showed her what caring really was, what loyalty really was, what love really was.

She felt something hit her head, it didn't really hurt, but it brought her out of her musings. She focused back on the room and saw Dean smirking, with more baubles ready to launch.

“ I thought you wanted to decorate the stupid tree, not stare at it.”

“ Sorry, just thinking.”

“ 'Bout what?” He stuck a candy cane in his mouth.

“ You three.”

“ I hope it was dirty.” He winked and leered at her.

“ Nope. Just thinkin' that, you know, I love you guys.” She blushed heavily.

“ Way to ruin Christmas Madison.” He grinned and came up to give her a hug, she had gotten used to hugs nowadays, she didn't shy away from them like she once would have, and she even gave them out rather frequently. “ You sure? Even Seth?” He whispered loud enough so that the man in question could hear.

Seth retaliated by throwing an armful of tinsel at the pair, who both just giggled.

The next couple of hours were spent decorating the tree, with a few little breaks when Dean would grab Madison and dance around with her when any Christmas song he particularly liked would come on. When they were done, Roman picked Madison up on his shoulders so she could place the star at the top.

* * *

After they had decorated the tree, they had headed to the store to pick up the last few things they would need for their Christmas dinner. They were now all on the couches, watching Die Hard. Madison had complained earlier in the day that it was too hot in Florida for Christmas and was sad that they couldn't have a fire roaring, so Roman had cranked the AC up to full and started a fire in the log burner that he'd never before had call to use.

Madison had had an amazing day, there'd been so much laughter and happiness. Now, her and her three favourite people (and her favourite dog) were sat, curled up, sipping hot chocolate and watching Bruce Willis kick some ass. What could be more perfect?

As the credits started rolling and Roman got up to put the next movie on; Home Alone, Madison's phone started ringing. A look at the screen told her that it was an unknown number, this panicked the woman, as she could only think of it being Benji. She had thought it strange that he hadn't tried to get in touch with her in the week since Roman had scared him away from her home. Benji wasn't one to give up that easily. She stood and walked out of the room into the hallway, not fully closing the door.

“ Hello?” Her voice was hesitant.

“ Madison? Thank God, I didn't know if you'd have the same number.”

It was like a ghost from her past had appeared before her, her former best friend, if she could really be called such. The girl that had brought her into a bad crowd, had introduced her to Benji, whom she hadn't even heard from in over four years.

“ Sarah? Is that you? Erm . . . how've you been?”

“ This isn't a social call Maddy, I'm not ringing to reminisce about old times. It's Benji.”

There was a pregnant pause on both sides of the call. Why would Sarah be calling after all this time to talk to her about Benji? As far as Madison was aware, Benji hadn't been in contact with Sarah for the same amount of time as her. Was this some kind of message from him? In the eternity that it took Sarah to speak again, Madison hadn't noticed her entire body begin to tremble.

“ He's dead Maddy, I'm so sorry. I know you guys were having problems, but I know how much you love him. They think it was drugs, but there were signs he'd been in a fight . . . Maddy?”

Madison barely heard anything after he initial blow. She stumbled back a couple of steps, as if to distance herself from the news. When her back hit the solid wall and she could retreat no more, her legs gave way and she slid down the wall, almost cowering on the cold wooden floor. Her mind couldn't process anything that was happening, all she could think were those three words on repeat; _he's dead Maddy, he's dead Maddy, he's dead Maddy._

“ What signs?” She said finally, her head swimming.

“ Oh, erm, some bruising to his face and abdomen, and a head injury.” Sarah sounded sad on the other end of the line.

“ When did . . . when did he . . . it happen?”

Sarah seemed to know what Madison meant.

“ He was . . . found yesterday, but they think that . . . it happened on Saturday most likely.”

“ Where?”

“ In your apartment.”

_Their_ apartment, she hadn't thought of that dingy hell hole that way in several months. But the thought of Benji laying there alone, cold . . . dead, for three whole days made her stomach turn.

“ Maddy . . . I . . .” Sarah tried.

“ NO! No, no, no, no, no.” Madison dropped the phone and wrapped her arms around her knees, bringing them up to her chest, protecting her.

She was vaguely aware of the door being pulled open and three worried faces looking down at her. One of them, maybe Roman, picked up her phone and brought it to their ear, but Sarah was gone. Someone else, Seth, was kneeling in front of her, to comfort her. 

“ No, no, no, no.” She kept repeating.

How could she have been here, enjoying herself with these men when Benji, _her_ Benji, was lying dead in their apartment, maybe in their bed. When she was being thrown through tables by Sasha, he was dead. When she had climbed that ladder and taken her title, he had been cold. When she had been in bed with Roman, having her breath taken away, he hadn't had any breath left. He had been alone when she had been surrounded by people. When she had been putting up Christmas decorations and eating candy canes and dancing, he had been on a slab somewhere. She was filthy, she was disgusting, she was a whore.

She felt comforting hands rub her legs, and the white hot anger that she felt at herself grew inside her chest. She lashed out viciously and shoved Seth back, he hadn't been expecting it and almost hit his head on the floor before righting himself. She shot to her feet, but was fenced in by the three large male bodies. She was pacing, like a caged animal, still repeating that single syllable over and over, not able to hear the words of comfort she knew they were uttering, trying to find out what was wrong.

Then someone stepped forward, Dean, he walked towards her, pinned her body to the wall with the length of his, and put his hand on the side of her neck. Both Roman and Seth were shocked, they thought he was going to kiss her, and Madison wanted that, for him to make her forget. But not in front of Seth, never in front of Seth, he might walk away from her again. And not in front of Roman either. Dean didn't kiss her, instead he pressed his forehead against hers, forcing her to look at him.

“ Maddy, tell me.” His voice was commanding, the light pressure on the length of her body and the hand on her neck were grounding her. Because, this was Dean, he knew her, he understood her. “ Was that Benji? What did he say?”

Dean's eyes were boring into hers, full of concern. He could see the anger and pain in her eyes, he had known it himself. It wouldn't hurt to tell Dean.

“ He's dead.” She whispered and it caused Dean to take a step back. Madison took the opening and fled upstairs, into the room that she was meant to have been staying in, after grabbing her belongings from Seth's room.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **So yeah, Benji's dead!!! I wonder how Madison is gonna react?**

There was no lock on the door, which Madison wasn't happy about, but she hoped that none of them would come after her, surely they knew better than that. She paced around the spacious bedroom as though she would be able to find a pathway out of this nightmare, but of course, no pathway existed. This was all her fault, she had killed him. If she had just gone back to him when he had asked, then he would probably still be alive, she felt responsible. The fire inside of her was burning bright, possibly brighter than it had ever burned before, she almost couldn't bear the pain in her chest. What was she going to do? She wanted to fight, nothing else would be able to ease the fire inside of her, apart from drugs, and to get those she would have to go downstairs and perhaps face the others, and that was not an option.

Benji was dead. He was dead. Gone. She would never hear his voice again, never see his face again, the face she loved. But then again, she would never have to hear him tell her how disgusting she was again, never have to feel his boot collide with her soft stomach again, never have to feel his harsh grip on her hips as he mercilessly pounded into her again. And she felt, empty, sad, alone. Benji had been her first love, and she now knew that he hadn't exactly been good for her, her new friends had made her see that, but she had loved him goddamnit. Then again, maybe he _had_ been good for her, maybe her friends were being selfish and just didn't want her to be happy because they didn't like that she had spent so much of her time with Benji. Had they sabotaged her relationship? Surely not . . . but maybe.

This was useless, trying to blame other people for what she had done. Of course it was her fault, she was worthless, she was nothing, it was all her fault. He was dead because of her, because she had gotten too big for her boots, had let these men downstairs instil some sick form of confidence in her that made her think, if only for a brief moment, that she was too good for Benji.

It was all too much, he was really gone. Now the tears started, pouring down her face like waterfalls, she let out an anguished scream before throwing herself down face first onto the bed. The sobs escaping her body were loud and made her small frame rock with the force of them, it hurt her, but she relished the pain, at least it meant she still felt something. She still had something to hold on to.

* * *

Downstairs the three men had returned to the lounge, but were not watching another film. Roman was sat in the big armchair, his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands, his fingers massaging his temples as he tried to think of what to do. Seth was curled up in front of the sofa, his back against it, his arms wrapped around his legs, much the same as the position they had found Madison in not half an hour ago. Dean was pacing, he was never one to sit still when he had something on his mind, and boy did he have something on his mind.

“ I'm glad, you know. I'm fucking glad he's dead. Means that prick'll never lay a finger on her again.” His voice was coming out in short staccato bursts, much like it did in his promos, the energy the same.

“ Please don't let her hear you say that.” Roman pressed. “ That wouldn't be a good idea.”

“ She should be fucking glad too. Fucking prick.” He spat, his hand raised and fingers tapping furiously on his collar bone.

“ Rome's right Dean.”

“ Fuck you.” Seth knew that Dean didn't mean the insult, he was just wound up.

“ Look Dean, Benji was a huge part of her life, the only part of her life for nine years. It basically defines her, the time she spent with him, without him, she's lost.” The two-toned man tried to explain as best he could what he thought was going on in Madison's mind.

“ But she was just starting to get better, to forget about him, she was smiling so much, she was so _happy_.”

Both Roman and Seth's hearts warmed at the love they could hear in Dean's voice, he really wanted to protect her so much. The three men stayed silent for a long time, Dean was right, Madison was just starting the really enjoy herself, without looking over her shoulder every five minutes. She had started to become more affectionate and let her hair down, and now this.

“ What do we do?” Seth's voice was small, out of all of them he probably cared for Madison the most.

Roman looked towards his friend, his big brown eyes were glassy, the tears having a hard time not unleashing themselves. He reached over and placed a large hand on the two-toned man's shoulder, hoping to bring him some comfort; Seth leaned into the touch.

“ I don't know little bro. I really don't know.”

“ I'll go up and talk to her.” Dean offered.

“ No!” Roman answered quickly, partly because he thought she needed to be alone right now, and partly, the selfish part of him, because he couldn't be sure that Madison wouldn't want Dean to calm her down, and Dean wanted Madison to feel better so much that he would oblige. Roman didn't want to think about that eventuality. “ She needs some time. We'll talk to her in the morning.”

None of the three men felt like sleeping just yet, even though it was after midnight, and so officially Christmas Eve. They could still hear Madison pacing around upstairs and the occasional bang, as though she were throwing something or punching something.

After two more hours, they were all fighting sleep. For the last hour and a half there had been no more movement upstairs, although they had been able to hear Madison's loud sobs throughout the house. Now there was only silence. They decided to head to bed, Roman locking the doors and taking the key up to bed with him so that she wouldn't be able to leave the house in the night, Dean and Roman had agreed on this silently, they didn't want another repeat of Monday night. As they reached the top of the stairs, Roman cracked open the door to Madison's room and saw her passed out on the bed, her breathing heavy. All the crying must have worn her out, they were glad that she was at least getting some rest. They all headed to bed, each of them keeping their doors open so that they had more chance of hearing her if she got out of bed.

Each one of them had a reason to worry so much about her, to care so much about her, to want to keep her safe. Dean because he felt bad that he had caused the scar that disgusted her, that made her lose confidence. Seth because he still felt like he owed her for turning his back on her all those years ago. And Roman, well, Roman had feelings for her that he wouldn't let himself acknowledge fully, not yet.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A little later on the update that promised, sorry about that. Enjoy**

The next morning Madison woke up in a strange bed, taking a look around the room, her eyes adjusting to the bright light from the open curtains, she soon realised that this must have been one of Roman's guest rooms.   
Her first thought on waking was about the previous morning, decorating the tree, and the fun they'd had, it had been amazing. Then the inevitable happened and reality reared it's big, ugly head. **Benji**. Her heart ached. She closed her eyes and pictured his face, one of the good memories - when he had taken her out for dinner after he'd made a surprise early visit to Orlando. Her brain failed to remind her that was the night where he had beaten her to a bloody pulp, terrifying her and leaving her bruised, the night that the video she so hated had been filmed.

She looked at the clock on the wall and realised that it was almost midday, had she slept for over ten hours? She stood and surveyed herself in the mirror, her eyes were red-rimmed, she must have been crying in her sleep. Looking at her face in the mirror, the anger returned, blazing bright and hot right in the middle of her chest. She could hardly bear to look at herself, she was disgusting, she had caused the man she loved to die. As she watched a single tear rolled down her face she sneered at her own face in the mirror. _Why are you feeling sorry for yourself? You brought this on yourself, it was all your doing, you wanted to be free from Benji and now you are. You should be happy you filthy whore._ She didn't even register that her fist had risen and smashed into the mirror, shards of glass embedded in her hand, she couldn't feel the pain.

She did, however, register the door opening in her peripheral vision and saw the raven haired Samoan looking concerned in the doorway. He seemed to notice her hand and rushed towards her, trying to reach out for it, but she backed away quickly. His face registered shock, God he was handsome. Maybe he could help her, maybe that was what she needed, after all, she was a whore, why not act like one?

“ Roman, help me.” She whispered.

“ I'm trying, let me see your hand.”

“ No, Roman, I need you to _help me_.”

“ I don't think that's a good idea, not in the state you're in.”

Her anger boiled harder at that statement.

“ The _state_ I'm in? What's that supposed to mean?”

“ Look Madison, you're hurting, you're upset. Besides, Dean and Seth could be back any second. I said I'd stay away from you for a while.”

“ I'm _upset_? Is that all this is?! 'Cause I'm pretty sure I've been _upset_ before Roman, and it didn't feel anything like this.” Then she thought about something, something that Sarah had said. “ This is your fault.” It dawned on her.

“ What?”

“ Sarah said that there were signs he'd been in a fight, that he had a head injury. You killed him. It was you!” She shouted.

“ Madison, think about what you're saying. I didn't kill him, I didn't even hit his head.” Roman looked horrified at the suggestion, and that was good, he should be horrified.

“ How do I know? You could have smashed something over his head when I was out of the room.”

“ Then surely he would've died in Florida, I'm guessing he didn't, 'cause I haven't heard about any bodies being found nearby.” The Samoan was getting a little angry now, and Madison liked it.

“ DON'T CALL HIM THAT!” How dare Roman refer to her Benji as a 'body'. “ You might have done something. He might've flown back to Pittsburgh and gone back to the apartment and gone to sleep and died because of something you'd done.” She was shaking now.

“ Madison, think about this. You know I didn't do that. Please try and think rationally.”

“ I can't Roman, my head's spinning. I need you to help me.”

“ No Madison, just try and calm down on your own.”

Madison was suddenly aware of the dull ache in her hand, she brought it up to her face and saw that there was blood flowing from at least three of her knuckles and a couple of pieces of glass embedded in her skin. She smiled at it, the pain was good, it was grounding her.

“ Fine. I'll wait until Dean gets back, he'll help me. He loved having me slammed up against the wall, pushing his dick into me over and over, he's _so_ good at it too.” She smirked at the Samoan and she knew that it had worked.

As much as Roman thought that this was a bad idea, he wasn't about to let her sleep with Dean again. He knew that she would make good on her threat and get Dean to help her, and as he had thought last night, Dean would do it because he wanted to help Madison in any way he could. Yeah, maybe it was selfish, maybe it was stupid, but he had to give Madison what she wanted. He stepped forward and took her hip in his hand and rested the other one on the side of her face. His lips brushed hers softly, and she responded, if only briefly.

“ No Roman, I need it . . . like I'm used to.” Her voice was slow, almost embarrassed, Roman knew what she was asking for.

“ No Madison, I won't treat you like that, I won't treat you how they did.” Roman didn't know exactly the 'they' he was referring to, he doubted that Madison even knew names, but she knew who he meant. After what she had told him about how she viewed sex, how it had been for her for so many years, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

“ Roman I _need_ it, please. I need you to . . . treat me like a whore.” Her eyes were begging, God, she was so beautiful.

“ I can't, I won't be like them.”

Madison had had enough. “ You are like them Roman, you take me, behind your wife's back, sneak around, making sure no one'll find out about your dirty little secret. I make you feel good about yourself, that's what I did to those men, I made them feel good, I could make you feel so good Roman. Just please give me what I want.”

Roman let out a growl, his frustration emanating from his skin. He pushed Madison gently towards the bed, standing behind her and pressed down on her shoulder so that she bent in half. He pushed down her sweat pants and underwear, a little ashamed that he was already rock hard even with the uncomfortable nature of the situation. He released himself from his pyjama bottoms and ran his hand up her slit, finding that she was already wet for him. Despite everything, this pleased him. He pushed his cock into her slowly, relishing in the tight heat, he loved being inside of her. His hold on her hips was gentle, but firm.

Madison was glad to finally have something physical to focus her energy on, Roman felt so good. But it wasn't enough, the fire inside of her burned too brightly to be put out by the way Roman was slowly fucking her, she needed more.

“ More Roman, I told you, treat me like a whore.” She begged, but Roman just brought his hand up to caress her back. “ Fuck Roman, you can do better than that. Make it worth it. What would your wife think if I told her that you fuck me, that you're fucking me here, in her house? Would she be mad Roman? What about if I told her that you killed someone to protect me, that you smashed another man's head in, took his life from him, would she still love you then? What about Olivia? You think she'd still love her Daddy if she found out he was a murderer?” The pressure on Madison's hips grew, she knew she had cracked him.

" Don't fucking talk about Olivia that way."

Roman tried to control his anger, he really did, he didn't want to be another name on the list of men who had treated Madison badly. However, her hurtful words were enraging him, he didn't doubt that that was her intention, but he couldn't help reacting. How dare she talk about Olivia like that? Roman knew he would most probably regret it, but if she wanted to piss him off to get him to react then that was what she was going to get. He gripped her hips tightly as he pounded into her, no longer acting as though he wanted to savour the moment, he just wanted to fuck her through the bed, to make her shut her mouth. As he forcefully thrust deep into her tight heat, he heard the throaty moans that it elicited from the brunette's mouth, and hell if that didn't turn him on even more.

“ Pull my hair.” She gasped.

He grabbed the majority of her hair in one of his big hands and yanked on it, causing her neck to crane back and he could see the bliss in her eyes. After a few minutes of relentless pounding he could feel his climax building, much faster than he wanted. Despite the fast and furious nature of their session, he couldn't stop himself from sliding his hand up her top and finding her scar with his fingertips. Once again, as though it was a trigger, when he reached the scarred flesh he felt Madison's walls clamp down around him as she let out a half-scream, half-growl from her mouth. He followed soon after with his release, all the while tracing little patterns on the flesh of her side.

When he pulled out of her, she collapsed onto the bed, looking fully sated and hopefully, a little calmer. He felt a little angry at himself, and at her for getting him to do it like that, it wasn't something he wanted to be a part of anymore. If they were going to have sex again, he wanted it to be like the last two times, where he could tell he had given her more than anyone else ever had. She looked at him through the eye that wasn't hidden in the comforter.

“ Thank you.” She said plainly.

“ Get a shower, I'll be back in ten minutes with the first aid kit and you're gonna let me patch that hand up. No arguments.” He commanded and she nodded slightly. 

The Samoan stepped out of the room to give Madison her privacy while she showered and dressed. This whole situation was fucked up, how had she been able to accuse him of killing Benji, he was sure he hadn't hit him on the head. Obviously he didn't know when Benji had actually died, but he did know that it wasn't his fault. He needed to speak to Madison properly and get the details out of her, but who knew when she would be ready to talk about it, especially to Roman.


	34. Chapter 34

When Dean and Seth got home from the gym, Roman was downstairs preparing the turkey to put in the oven to eat the next day; he wasn't really sure why he was doing it, surely after the news they had received they would not be sitting down for Christmas dinner. Madison had let him bandage her hand, but she hadn't spoken a single word to him as he did it. That was an hour ago now and he hadn't heard a peep from her since, it worried him, but he really didn't know what to do in this situation other than leave her to it and be there if she needed him.

“ You manage to talk to her?” Dean asked as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

“ Not talk exactly. She smashed a mirror and I taped up her hand, there wasn't any talking though.” He answered sadly.

“ At least she wasn't stubborn enough to bleed to death.” Dean tried a touch of humour, but none of the three men laughed.

“ What're you up to? You still gonna cook Christmas dinner?” Seth interjected as he entered the kitchen, Kevin at his heels.

“ No point wasting food, we gotta eat.” Roman pointed out while stuffing the bird.

“ True. Let me help.” Seth washed his hands and began peeling potatoes and vegetables, Dean headed upstairs quietly.

* * *

Madison was pacing, it was all she seemed to be able to do, she couldn't stay still and she didn't want to head downstairs. What had happened between her and Roman had calmed her down a little, it had stopped the raging anger inside of her, but it couldn't make her forget, or stop blaming herself.

There was a soft knock on the door, so soft that Madison almost didn't register it, but the door began to creak open quietly and she readied herself.   
When Dean entered the room he saw Madison in a fighting pose, as though she were ready to attack at any point. It would have made him smirk in any other situation, but the look on her face wasn't just anger, it was broken, confused and so very, very sad.

“ How'ya doin?” He asked, although it seemed a stupid question and he already knew the answer.

Madison didn't dignify the question with an answer, how was she supposed to answer it when she couldn't even pinpoint what her feelings were?

“ Sorry, that was stupid. You wanna punch me?” 

Madison smirked at this, a small humourless laugh escaping her lips. She shook her head slightly, she didn't want to hit Dean. They stood looking at each other for a couple of minutes, neither moving, neither speaking, just observing the other. Madison moved her gaze to look Dean directly in his eyes, and he saw her pain.

“ He's dead Dean.” She said and her eyes overflowed with moisture.

“ I know, I'm sorry.” He said, moving forward.

He placed his hands on the woman's hips and she let herself fall into his embrace. He wrapped his strong arms around her and let her cry. 

“ Actually Madison, I'm not sorry. I'm not, I'm glad he's dead. And you might hate me for saying it, but I don't care.” Dean had to level with his friend. He held her at arms length and saw the look of confusion and realisation on her face. “ He hurt you Maddy, probably more times than you'll ever tell me and I hate him for it. You gotta understand that I'm not saying this to upset you, but I'm happy that he'll never get to hurt you again. And you should be happy too, not now, but eventually, you'll realise.”

He realised he was rambling and so he stopped, maybe he shouldn't have been so honest with Madison so soon after she had received the news, but he couldn't help it, he wasn't the type to pussy foot around things.

“ You gotta tell me what you're thinking Mads.”

The brunette closed her eyes slowly, the final few tears running past her dark eyelashes and down her soft cheeks. She looked at Dean and knew he was telling the truth, he hadn't said that to upset her, he would never do anything to upset her. It was a strange thing to think, but she had begun to really believe that these three men in her life would never do anything to intentionally hurt her, this was all new to her. She settled herself back against Dean's chest before she spoke.

“ I don't know. It just hurts, so bad.”

Dean's hold on her tightened slightly, wanting to comfort her.

“ You got that anger you told me about?” He pressed.

“ No, that's gone. I punched a mirror.” She held up her injured hand and Dean ran his fingers softly over the bandage, causing Madison to flinch slightly. She wouldn't tell him the real reason her anger had subsided, that he didn't need to know. “ You can ask me, you know?”

“ Ask you what?”

“ What you really wanna know? If I'm gonna go out to score again.” Her voice was flat and depressed.

“ Am I that obvious?” Dean asked and Madison raised an eyebrow. “ Well, are you?”

“ What do you think? I couldn't even take them last time.”

“ But this is different, isn't it? Last time you were just _thinking_ about him. Now . . .” Dean didn't really want to finish that sentence in case it set Madison off crying again. “ I'm just worried Madison, after how I found you last week I have a right to be, don't you think?”

“ I guess, but you need to stop worrying about me.”

“ Not gonna happen kid, sorry. I just don't want to see you throw away your dream because you make one little mistake, I won't let that happen. Last week, when I found you, I was scared, and I don't get scared that often. I was scared you'd taken some and you'd get random tested and fired, just like that, championship gone, dream gone.”

“ I didn't Dean, and I'm not going to, please drop it. I don't want Seth finding out about it.” She hissed, wanting him to drop the subject.

“ Don't want me finding out about what?” Both Dean and Madison froze when Seth entered the room, just how much had he heard?

“ Nothing man, don't worry about it.” Dean tried to placate his friend.

“ No, no, I wanna know what you guys are keeping from me.” His voice wasn't exactly threatening, but there was certainly an edge to it that meant he wouldn't give up until he found out.

“ It's nothing Seth.” Madison pleaded, not knowing what to do, she was terrified. If Seth found out about her almost taking drugs again, then he would leave. It would happen all over again and she didn't think she could take that on top of everything else.

“ Look, Maddy's tired, let it go, we'll do this another day.” 

“ You can't get out of this that easily, just fucking tell me.” Seth was getting annoyed and worried all at the same time, he didn't understand why his friends wouldn't just tell him what they were talking about.

The tension in the room was palpable and it seemed everyone was silent for a long time, but it couldn't have been more than thirty seconds before Dean let out a long sigh.

“ Fine Seth, but you're not gonna like it.” He breathed.

Madison's whole body stiffened as her head shot to look at her blonde friend. Why was he going to do this to her? 

“ We slept together.” Dean looked down to the floor as if this was a huge secret that he had just got off his chest. 

Madison was finally able to breathe. She wasn't happy that Dean had told Seth about this, but it sure as hell beat him finding out about the pills. Seth's eyes grew wide as he looked between his two friends; he didn't look mad, just confused.

“ What? When?”

“ It was in Cincinnati, the night we saw the video.”

Seth and Madison both visibly shuddered at the mention of the video, but Dean stared resolutely into Seth's eyes, trying to tell what he was thinking.

“ Why?” Was all he asked.

“ I dunno, I was in a bar with some friends and next thing I know Maddy's there, almost getting into a fight with some chicks. I took her outside to cool off and you know, it kinda just happened.”

“ Outside a bar in Cinci?”

“ Yeah.”

Madison had sat down on the bed now, the relief of Seth not finding out her dark secret had made her legs weak. 

“ I'm kinda relieved to be honest, when I heard you say not to tell me I was thinking of a lot of worse things than that. I'm not fucking happy about it though. Outside a fucking club? Honestly Dean, you're an animal.” Seth's face was disgusted and Madison couldn't stifle her laugh.

Seth's gaze shot around to her and when he saw her with a genuine smile on her face, albeit for only a second before it faded back into the sadness he had seen when he entered the room, he felt his heart swell. Madison was going to be okay, he knew it, even if she didn't.

“ I thought you had better taste than that to be honest Mads.” Seth joked.

“ Hey!” Dean protested.

“ Really? You've never approved of my taste in men Seth.” Only after she had said it did Madison realise that she was talking about Benji, and the pain in her chest came back again.

“ Could you guys please go, I just wanna be alone a while longer.” She said, not sounding harsh, just sad.

Both men nodded and headed out of the room, Dean placed a hand on Madison's shoulder and squeezed it briefly before he went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Oops, now Seth knows!  
>  I'm hoping to be able to get another chapter up today, but it depends how long it takes me to write up**


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Okay, so I finished that a lot quicker than I expected. Enjoy**

Madison needed air, she needed to get out of this bedroom, out of this house, she needed to run. It had been two hours since Dean and Seth had left her room and she had just been sitting on the bed, staring into space. She knew that if she went downstairs then Seth, Roman and Dean would all fuss around her, or leave her be completely, and she couldn't cope with either of those. She routed in her bag for her work-out clothes and got changed quickly, she splashed her face with cold water in the bathroom and headed downstairs. As she reached the bottom she heard the conversation in the kitchen stop, silence prevailed and she closed her eyes and let out a deep breath.

“ I'm going for a run.” She announced, popping her head into the room, the smell of turkey making her stomach rumble slightly, but she couldn't think about food right now.

All three sets of eyes showed deep concern, they were torn between not wanting her to go and wanting to let her handle things in her own way.

“ Madison.” Roman simply said, looking glad to see her downstairs, his eyes boring into hers and she couldn't hold his gaze, how could he still care so much about her after what she had said to him?

“ Want me to come with you?” Seth asked, his eyes pleading.

“ No, I need some time, I need some air.”

Dean stepped forward, blocking her view of the other two men, he took her hands in his and looked into her eyes, searching for an answer. Madison knew what he was looking for, despite what she had told him upstairs he still wasn't one hundred percent sure that she wasn't leaving the house to score. She tried to show him with just her eyes that she had been telling the truth, but she knew he needed verbal reassurance.

“ I just need to run Dean, clear my head.” She promised.

He didn't say anything to her, just kissed her forehead softly, she knew he still wasn't sure, or that he thought she would run and not come back.

“ I'll take Kevin with me, he could do with a run, all the bacon you've been feeding him.”

Dean smiled at that, even though Madison couldn't manage a smile herself. All she wanted was for these three men to be happy, and for some reason they seemed to be happy when they were around her; she would never understand that, but she knew that right now, she was bringing them all down. She liked to see smiles on their faces, not frowns or their eyes full of worry. The best thing right now would be to get out of the house, let them spend sometime without her big black cloud over them, and she needed to think. 

Madison took Kevin's harness and leash and attached them to the little dog, who was wriggling around, excited for his walk. They left the house and set off down the street. Madison didn't know this area too well; Roman lived about half an hour away from her place, but she didn't really need to know where she was going. With Kevin being so little, she couldn't run at the speed she wanted to, but that was probably a good thing, as she tended to overdo it when she had something on her mind.

* * *

Back at the house, the three men were still in the kitchen; the vegetables and potatoes were sat on the stove in pots of cold water so they wouldn't spoil overnight, and the turkey was in the oven. They sat around the table, drinking beer but not saying much. Dean broke the silence.

“ Will you quit looking at me like that Seth?” Dean had noticed the strange glances that his friend had given him ever since he had confessed to sleeping with Madison.

“ Sorry, I just . . . outside a club?”

“ What's the matter, you jealous?” Dean sniped, the three of them had been affected by the situation more than they would like to admit.

“ No, no, I just can't imagine Madison with you.” He paused and turned to look at his other friend. “ Rome, Dean slept with Madison, can you believe that?” Seth looked to his friend for some back up.

“ Yeah, I know about that.”

“ How come you know and I don't?”

“ Why does that matter? Is them having sex really the most important thing right now?” Roman asked, his eyes moving between his two friends.

“ Well no, but . . .”

“ You _are_ jealous!” Dean laughed.

“ I'm not!” Seth got defensive. “ Honestly, I'm not, I don't see her like that. I just . . . you know what you're like Dean, you've been leading Renee on for months now, I don't want Madison to be another conquest to you. She needs someone to look after her.”

“ Hey, hey, I am not leading Renee on, I like her. I like the cat and mouse shit between us. And you know full well that Madison could never be just a conquest to me, I fucking love her, just like you do. I didn't fuck her just to check her name off some list, she needed me and I was there for her, I _was_ looking after her.” Dean was getting pissed off that Seth would think he would use Madison like that.

“ Come on guys, what are we even arguing about? Dean and Madison slept together, it happened, it's over. It's not a big deal. What is a big deal is that Madison is hurting right now and we need to be there for her, not bickering amongst ourselves.” Roman was once again the voice of reason, and he also really wanted to stop talking about Dean and Madison being together.

* * *

Madison and Kevin had been running for an hour before the former realised that she should probably stop and get Kevin some water, the poor little thing. It was then that she also realised that she had taken nothing with her when she left the house, save for the dog that was now trying to jump up her leg. They were now at a car park by the beach, and luckily there was a tap at the far end of it, most likely for people to wash the sand from their shoes, but at least Kevin could get a drink. She led him over to it and turned it on, he lapped happily at the flow for a couple of minutes.

Once he seemed to have had his fill, they walked onto the beach, Madison took off her shoes so that she could feel the sand between her toes. It was strange, she had lived in Orlando for a while now, and she had never once ventured to any of the beaches. The weather was good for December, around 25 Celsius, but the beach was understandably empty, most normal people would want to be at home with their families on Christmas Eve.

“ But I'm not normal, am I Kevin?” Madison spoke and the dog yapped.

They walked towards the sea, Madison let Kevin off his leash, she knew he wouldn't run away. The pooch immediately ran and fetched a stick, which Madison obliged to throw for him. They spent about half an hour doing that before the dog seemed to get a little tired. The woman sat down on the beach, leaning against some rocks, Kevin curled up by her legs. The sun was just beginning to set now, the temperature would drop soon enough, but Madison finally felt like she could breathe.

“ Come here Kevin.” She spoke softly and the dog crawled into her lap where she stroked over his fur and nestled her face into his back.

“ What am I gonna do buddy? I know that what Dean said was right, that Benji can't hurt me anymore, and I know that's a good thing. Is it wrong that I'm sad? I can't help it, it's like a real pain in my chest, like something's been wrapped around it and it's constricting me. I dunno little guy, I just feel guilty; maybe if I was better then he wouldn't have needed the drugs. I should have been better.” 

A few more tears crept their way down her face and Kevin jumped up and licked them from her cheek, the gesture made Madison giggle.

“ You think I made the right choice, not going back to Pittsburgh?”

Kevin yapped again and wagged his tail vehemently, Madison took this as affirmation.

“ Yeah, maybe you're right . . . I wish I could make it all go away, I wish I could be glad he's dead Kev, like Dean said, but I can't. It feels like I lost a part of me. I love him Kevin, I loved him.”

She rubbed the pup's belly as he rolled over in the sand.

“ I'm just telling you the truth little guy. But I don't wanna be sad. I wish Sarah had never called me, then I wouldn't know. I had such a great day yesterday, and now it's all ruined. And I've made everyone sad, I never wanted that. I should just leave.” 

Kevin growled lowly, pulling on the fabric of Madison's jacket sleeve.

“ Sorry, I know, I can't run away with you, Seth would never forgive me. I know Dean thinks I was going to, it's probably what he'd do.” She laughed, it was strange how similar her and the Lunatic Fringe were.

“ Life was so much less complicated when I didn't have so many people to care about. Do you think it'll get better, it'll hurt less?” Kevin licked her hands and gave a cute little bark.

* * *

Back at the house, Seth, Dean and Roman were getting worried; Madison had been out for over three hours now, and it was almost dark outside. They had realised she had left her phone behind only after they had tried ringing it several times.

“ She's not taken her money or cards, so that's a good thing I guess. Least she's not gone off somewhere.” Dean stated, appearing from upstairs where he had obviously been checking Madison's room.

“ Is it a good thing Dean? She's kidnapped Kevin!”

“ Don't be so dramatic Seth, she's not kidnapped him you idiot.”

“ Calm down guys!”

“ It's not me who needs to calm down.” Dean spat in the Samoan's direction. “ Princess here was going to call the cops and report a fucking kidnapping!”

Both Seth and Roman couldn't help but laugh at this.

“ Come on now, she'll be home soon enough, just give her time.” Roman said, his voice strong and authoritative.

The three men sat down and began to watch television, if only to distract their minds a little from the matter at hand.

* * *

Madison had found a few dollars balled up in the pocket of her jacket, she bought a hot dog from a cart and gave the sausage to Kevin, she ate the bread herself.

“ I know it's probably not as good as the fancy stuff Seth buys you, you spoiled little pooch, but we'll head home soon, promise.”

Kevin didn't seem to mind, he gobbled down the sausage quickly and then proceeded to bounce around the feet of the brunette until she stood. They headed out towards the sea, the water was cool, but not unpleasant. They splashed around for a while, Kevin finding another stick to play with, until Madison felt ready to head back. 

She noticed that Kevin was walking slower than usual, so she leant down to pluck him up into her arms. Once he was there he wriggled to get comfortable and turned his face to look up at her.

“ I guess I've worn you out, sorry.” They walked a while in silence, Kevin falling asleep in Madison's arms. 

“ I _am_ glad Kev. I'm glad that he can't hurt me anymore, that he can't touch me anymore.” Kevin woke up briefly and licked Madison's hand again. “ You know Kev, you're a much better counsellor than that one they had me seeing at work. Now, maybe you can help me with my other issue . . . what should I do about Roman?”

Madison giggled a little as Kevin laid his head back down and closed his eyes again.

“ Yeah, I guess one problem at a time, huh? I'd need to get you a few more sausages to deal with that one.”

* * *

It took Madison another forty-five minutes to get back to Roman's house, luckily she had remembered the way. The door was unlocked when she turned the handle and they headed inside. Madison headed straight to the kitchen and filled Kevin's bowl with his real food and filled up his water bowl, before she made her way to the lounge. She thought it was strange that none of the three men had come to speak to her yet, maybe they were out.

Her thoughts were proved wrong when she pushed open the door to the room and heard the television; as she peered in she saw that all three men were asleep. Roman and Dean were on the two arms chairs, Dean's foot bobbing even in sleep. Seth was on the sofa, sitting up at one end and Madison found herself walking towards the sofa, laying down and resting her head in Seth's lap, she immediately felt his hand move and tangle gently into her hair, but he didn't wake. Once Kevin had finished his dinner he trotted into the room and jumped onto the sofa before settling himself next to Madison's legs.


	36. Chapter 36

Roman was the first to wake, and when he saw Madison and Kevin were back and the former seemed to be sleeping soundly with Seth, he felt his whole body relax. He hadn't realised how tense he had been since she had left the house that afternoon. He decided against disturbing her, so instead he went upstairs so that he could Skype his daughter and then get an early night.

When Dean woke up and his eyes found Madison, he breathed a sigh of relief; a small part of him had started to believe that maybe she had kidnapped the dog. He stood and walked over to her, leaning down he placed a kiss on the top of her head. He looked up slightly when he heard a mumble above his head; his eyes met Seth's, who had a worried look on his face.

“ Well, this is awkward.” Dean said with a sly smile on his face, as he realised that Seth had just woken up to find Dean's head in his crotch.

Dean pulled his head back so that Seth could see that he had been merely kissing Madison's sleeping head.

“ Thank God for that, for a minute I thought I'd woken up in the middle of one of those fanfictions our fans love to write so much.” Seth whispered so as not to wake the girl, and he and Dean shared an amused smile.

“ You can call off the police search Sethie boy, Kevin's home.”

“ Fuck you Deano.”

“ I'm gonna head to bed, see you tomorrow.”

Seth spent the next ten minutes or so gazing down at the sleeping beauty in his lap, his fingers carding through her hair gently. She looked so peaceful when she slept, but he knew that her heart was breaking. Her eyes fluttered slightly, although they didn't open fully.

“ I'm sorry Seth.” She whispered breathily.

“ What are you sorry about?” He was confused.

“ Everything. I'm sorry for being so selfish and stupid and for getting you all involved in my personal shit and I'm sorry for making Kevin eat a hot dog for his dinner.”  
Seth couldn't help but laugh at that last comment, even though the first few things made both his blood boil and his heart swell. 

“ I'm sure Kevin will be okay.”

“ I gave him his proper food when we got in.” She smiled slightly, although her eyes were still closed.

“ It's fine Maddy. And as for that other stuff, don't be so ridiculous, you're the opposite of selfish and stupid. And we want to be involved in your life Madison, good, bad, whatever, we'll be here for you. Whatever you need us for. I wish you could see that.”

Madison opened her eyes and Seth saw the un-shed tears that were hiding there, he wrapped his arms gently around the woman's waist. He didn't really know what to say, he had never been in a situation quite like this. What was the right thing to say to a friend who had only one day previously found out that her boyfriend of nine years had died.

“ You shouldn't be so nice to me Seth!”

“ Stop saying things like that Maddy.”

“ It's true, you won't always be here for me, no one can put up with me for too long.” He could tell she was getting more wound up, but he didn't know what else he could do.

“ Please Maddy, calm down.”

“ I can't. I'm no good Seth!” She was quiet for a few moments, and totally still, Seth thought that she might have gone back to sleep, until she spoke again. “ Dean lied about what we were talking about earlier.”

“ What do you mean? You didn't sleep with him?”

“ No, that was true, but it wasn't what we were talking about. He lied to protect me, because I couldn't bare to lose you again.”

“ You won't lose me Madison, no matter what.” Madison had sat up now, and Seth pulled her close to him.

Her breath started to become quicker, and more ragged. She really didn't want to do this, but she needed to make Seth see what she was really like. He was starting to believe that she had changed, that she was a good person, but she was still the same filthy whore who only cared about herself that she always was.

“ I bought some pills the other day.” She said finally, her voice shaky and barely above a whisper.

Immediately she felt Seth's arms stiffen around her and she knew she had been right all along, he was going to leave her again. A lone tear rolled down her warm cheek.

“ When?” His voice was also low, and filled with disbelief.

“ After Raw, after I left the bar.”

“ Why?” She hated how cold and hard his voice sounded to her ears.

“ I needed . . . I dunno, I had too many thought going through my head, I just wanted it all to go away.”

“ You know this could jeopardise everything?” Seth paused for long enough for Madison to nod her head slightly. “ Why didn't you tell me how you were feeling?”

He pulled away from her and the dam inside of Madison broke. It was already happening. He was going. A sob tore itself from her throat as she turned to lock eyes with him.

“ _This_ is why I didn't Seth. I didn't want to lose you again . . . I can't . . .”

Seth's face changed to one of surprise, and his eyes softened.

“ Lose me? For God's sake Madison, I only just got you back, I'm not leaving again, no matter what. You silly girl! We can sort this, we can get you help. I'll look after you.”

His words had her gasping for breath. He wasn't leaving? He really wasn't. All of a sudden Madison realised what she'd left out, and it almost made her laugh, almost, if she had had it in her to.

“ Oh God! I didn't take them Seth! I couldn't bring myself to. I . . . just thought you should know the truth, who I really am, still the same fucked up girl you knew back then.”  
Seth let out a long breath, the relief was evident in his face.

“ I'm so glad, obviously, but even if you had started using again, I won't desert you, not again.” He pulled her close once again and Madison relaxed slightly in his warm embrace. “ And yeah, in some ways, you are the same girl I knew back then; you're beautiful, sweet and . . . fragile. But you're also so much more than that. Now, you're so strong and courageous, even if you don't believe it, I mean, it took a lot to tell Benji that you chose your career. And I know what's happened must really, really hurt right now Madison, but you're gonna be okay. I can promise you that, because you have a new family now, and I know we can never replace your Mom and Dad, but we'll be here for you, helping to build you back up, making sure you're okay.”

Madison's tears were flowing freely now, she'd lost count of how many times she had cried in the last twenty-four hours, but these weren't sad tears, these tears came because she couldn't remember anyone ever speaking words like this to her.

“ I fucking love you, little sis.”

“ I love you too.”

“ But I think you killed my dog.” Madison looked over to the rug where Kevin had moved to when Madison had sat up. He was lying on his belly, with his four little legs splayed out around him and his tiny pink tongue hanging out of his mouth. Madison couldn't contain her small giggle.

“ I think I just over-exercised and over-fed him.” She reasoned. “ Kev, baby, are you alive?”

The pup answered with a slow wag of his tail across the plush rug.

“ See, he's fine.” She turned to Seth. “ Where're Dean and Roman, by the way?”

“ They headed up to bed.”

“ It's only eight-thirty! . . . Although, I could probably sleep right now.”

“ Come on then, let's head up, but first we gotta get the milk and cookies for Santa.” Seth winked as he headed towards the kitchen.

“ I totally forgot it was Christmas tomorrow! I think Santa deserves something a little stronger than milk.” She pulled a bottle of whiskey from the liquor cabinet and poured a double measure. Instead of setting it down on the tray that Seth had provided, she knocked the contents back in one, her throat burning pleasantly. Seth raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

“ Don't forget Rudolf.” He advised, pulling a carrot from the fridge.

Madison smiled softly when he placed it on the tray beside the alcohol and cookies, before she took the offerings into the lounge and set them down on the coffee table close to the tree. She then picked Kevin up from his spot on the rug, she really had worn him out, before following Seth up the stairs.

Seth changed and climbed into bed, his head reeling from everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. If he was honest, he was glad Benji was dead too, although he didn't like wishing death on anyone. But now, Madison had revealed about the drugs, and that wasn't even the part that had affected him the most, it was the fact that she honestly expected him to abandon her again. He hadn't realised the true extent of how much he had hurt her all those years ago.

He was very glad when his door creaked open to reveal the brunette, dressed in pyjama pants and an oversized 'Uso Crazy' shirt. He immediately lifted the covers for her to slip in beside him, and pulled her close to his body.

“ I'm sorry I hurt you back then Madison.” He spoke softly, close to his ear.

“ I told you before, I understand. It's okay.” Although, the break in her voice let him know it wasn't okay, not really.

“ I don't care that you understand, it was a shitty thing to do, I was a shitty friend. But I will never leave you again, I swear to you.”

Madison couldn't answer, she was too choked up and she didn't want to cry again. Instead, she squeezed her hand around his forearm that was around her waist. They were quiet for a few moments, the only sound their breathing and Kevin's shuffling around to get comfy at the bottom of the bed.

“ Are you mad at me for being sad about Benji?”

“ No, not at all. You were with him for a really long time, you're allowed to be sad.”

“ Even though you hated him?”

“ I hated him for what he put you through Madison, but I know you loved him. It's okay to grieve.”

“ Are the others mad?”

“ No sweetie, we're just worried about you.”

“ Do you think it'll ever stop hurting?”

“ I promise it will, eventually.”

“ Good.”

They settled down again, just enjoying the feeling of being this close.

“ Do you really think I'm beautiful?” She said meekly and Seth tightened his embrace around her body.

“ I can't believe you even have to ask. You're stunning Madison. You should see in the guys locker room, I have to stop myself punching some of them when they talk about you.” He chuckled.

“ You're lying!” She wriggled in his grip, his words were making her uncomfortable.

“ I wish you could see yourself how everyone else does.”

“ Benji used to say that I _could_ be really pretty if I lost weight and didn't have my scar, he liked me how I was back then, when I was blonde and thin. I tried to lose weight, but I wanna be strong too, I wasn't strong back then. And there's nothing I can do about my stupid ugly scar.”

Seth knew that Madison was referring to physical strength, but he couldn't help himself but to also see the difference in her mental strength from who she was back in the Indies. He was so proud of how far she had come, and he hated Benji so much more for almost taking that away from her, almost destroying who she was completely.

“ You have an amazing body, don't ever let anyone tell you differently. If anything, you could stand to gain a few pounds.”

“ I fucking have gained a few pounds since I've been hanging around with you guys, with Naomi's fried chicken, and Roman buying me pizza, and Dean always having sweets. I swear, you guys are making me fat.”

“ We're making you happy.”

“ Yeah, you are.” She relented, even if, right now, she was hurting and grieving, she couldn't deny that the friends she had made in WWE had made her happier than anyone had.

“ And as for your scar, there's nothing wrong with it. It's not as bad as you think it is. It shows how strong you are, and how far you've come.”

Despite Madison's instinctive reaction to her scar being one of disgust and horror, if she really thought about it, she couldn't hate it as much as she once had. That was because, every time she now thought about her scar, she thought about Roman's hands on her body, tracing every inch and the kisses he had placed across it. In fact, thinking about her scar made her shiver with delight, those memories were some of the best she had. Maybe it wasn't as ugly as Benji made out, if a man as gorgeous as Roman wasn't repulsed by it, could it really be that bad?

“ I guess.” She finally agreed with Seth. “Goodnight Seth.”

“ Goodnight Madison.”

Although Madison's chest still felt hollow from the loss of Benji, the time on the beach clearing her head, and talking to Seth had made her feel a whole lot better. She knew that she wasn't going to have the perfect Christmas she had wanted, but she vowed to herself that she wouldn't ruin it for the others any more than she already had.


	37. Chapter 37

Madison woke up with a warm furry butt in her face, she repositioned herself so that she could actually breathe, before bringing her hand up and giving Kevin's back a good scratch. He seemed delighted that she was awake and began smothering her in wet kisses. As she wriggled to get away from the decidedly stinky onslaught, she heard a chuckle coming from behind her and realised Seth had woken and was now pinning her down so that she couldn't escape his excited pooch.

“ This is totally not fair!” The woman screeched.

“ Kevin's just excited to open his presents.” Seth pouted and Madison gave him a glare.

“ Let me go so that I can wash this dog breath off of my face.”

Seth finally relented, letting Madison up and out of the bed, Kevin didn't seemed to mind, he just jumped onto his owner instead.

When Madison was in the bathroom, she looked at her face in the mirror above the sink. Her eyes were puffy and a little red, and her skin had definitely looked better, she would have to fix that. She took a deep breath as she towel dried the water from her face and stared her reflection down.

_Come on now Madison, you have got to hold it together, for the guys. You can't ruin Christmas for them._

She returned to the bedroom to fetch some clothes and her make-up bag, before stepping into the shower. The probably too hot water felt great on her skin, it was melting away all the tension that had set itself in her shoulders the previous day. As she washed her hair, her thoughts inevitably turned to Benji, but she quickly pushed them out of her mind. The only way she was going to be able to get through today was if she pretended like none of it had happened. She tried to talk herself in to believing that Benji was in the apartment right now, probably still asleep from a late night of drinking and drug taking, before he would get up and spend Christmas day visiting his customers who couldn't even get through one day without their fix.

Once she had showered and dried her hair, she went back to the mirror to apply her make-up. When she wasn't at the shows, she didn't really bother with it too much. Benji used to accuse her of trying to get other men's attention when she wore make-up on a day-to-day basis, even though that was never her intention. As she finished her eyeliner and applied mascara, she appraised her face in the mirror, and she was quite happy. She was used to seeing herself bare-faced or completely caked in make-up for the shows, it was so long since she had seen herself in a normal amount. The cat-like flick of black eyeliner really brought out the forest green of her eyes, and the blush she had on made her cheekbones look great. Being happy with her reflection in a mirror was not something Madison could say that she had experienced in the last few years, but right now, that was what she was feeling. Perhaps hearing Seth so emphatically say she was beautiful last night had left a lasting impression. She pulled on her tight blue jeans and a black vest top before exiting the small bathroom and finding Seth already dressed and tying his hair back. He looked up and a smile grew on his handsome face.

“ You look beautiful.” He said, stepping forward and pulling her into a hug. “ Merry Christmas.”

“ Merry Christmas Seth, and thank you.”

“ You know, I think that's the first time you've properly just accepted a compliment from me since you came back, instead of ignoring me or telling me to fuck off.” His embrace on his friend tightened.

When they both wandered downstairs, they found Dean sitting cross-legged by the tree, feeling and shaking the presents that were under it.

“ Caught red handed.” Seth said in an accusatory tone, and Dean froze mid-feel.

He slowly turned around, his hands held up in a mock surrender, both Seth and Madison could tell he was in one of his silly moods, and they smirked knowingly. When he saw that Madison was with Seth, and she wasn't crying or yelling, a huge grin broke out on his face and he jumped to his feet. His mischievous smirk grew as he approached them and neither knew what to expect. Dean knew that asking Madison if she was okay, or anything along those lines was not the way to go, he wanted her to have a good Christmas, even if it was going to be harder than expected.

“ You're looking good Madison.” He winked. “ And now that Seth knows our little secret, there's nothing stopping us from fucking right here, right now.”

Dean laughed at the scowl on the two-tones man's face, as he kept advancing on the brunette.

“ You ain't getting anything from me Ambrose, that was a one time thing.” She retorted, and when Dean raised his eyebrow she smirked. “ Fine, two-time, but that's it.”

“ Two time?!” Seth exclaimed. “ Actually, I don't even wanna know.” He sat down on an armchair and scooped Kevin up for a cuddle, completely ignoring his friends, he was just happy Madison was messing around with Dean, like normal.

“ Best two times of your life Princess.”

“ That's debatable.” She grinned at his hurt expression.

“ Come on, just a kiss then, you just look so damn tasty.”

“ Not even a kiss.”

“ Ha! You have to kiss me, I have mistletoe.” He produced a sprig of the plant from behind his back and gave Madison a victory smile.

The girl just giggled and grabbed Dean by the front of his shirt and pressed a chaste closed-mouth kiss to his lips, before pulling back.

“ Oh my God! You have whiskey breath!” She exclaimed loudly. “ Does that mean you're Santa?!”

Both Dean and Seth laughed, the latter hadn't even noticed that the glass of whiskey and cookie had disappeared from the plate, along with about half of the carrot.

“ I don't know about that kitten, but I would definitely empty my sack for you.”

“ You're a fucking pervert!” She slapped him on the chest before all three of them broke out into giggles.

Once they had regained their composure, Madison realised that one of their party was missing and she wasn't going to allow that.

“ Where's Roman?” She directed her question at Dean, as he had been the first one up that morning.

“ Not heard a peep from the lazy bastard. You think he'd be first up at Christmas, what with him having a kid and all.”

“ I'm gonna go get him.” Madison stated before heading up the stairs.

* * *

Dean and Seth looked at each other, still smiling, both glad that Madison was more like herself this morning.

“ Well Sethie boy, I don't know what you said or did last night, but I'm glad we got our Maddy back.”

“ I didn't really do anything man, but I'm glad too.”

“ She's gonna be okay, right? I mean, I know this show she's putting on this morning is just a mask or whatever, I'm guessing she's just blocking it all out, but, I mean, she's gonna be alright?”

“ We're here Dean, that's all we can do. And yeah, she'll be fine.”

Seth was about eighty-five percent sure of his answer, but he made sure he sounded super confident, as he knew how unsure Dean could still sometimes be. Madison reminded him of Dean in a lot of ways. When they had first met in FCW, Dean had been a loner, putting out a spiky aura to try and stop people getting close to him, but over time himself and Roman had managed to claw their way inside and take up residence. And now, Dean was open and loving, sometimes to a fault, he cared so passionately for the things he loved and Seth loved that about him. He could see Madison's safety barriers slowly being chipped away, but he had been worried that they would all go back up once she heard the news about Benji. He knew that it could still happen, especially with what Dean had said about Madison hiding behind a mask, but he hoped beyond hope that she didn't block them out again.

* * *

Madison was standing outside of Roman's bedroom, she craved to see his face, to see something in his eyes that wasn't the pure concern or confusion that she had seen the day before. She knew she should apologise about what she had said to him yesterday, but she couldn't do that without talking about Benji, and that was an off-limits subject today. She couldn't believe how nervous she was feeling just standing outside his bedroom door, correction, Roman _and his wife's_ bedroom door. That thought almost made her turn around and head back downstairs, she really felt like a shitty person for the thoughts that were running through her head about another woman's husband. The only thing that stopped her from retreating back downstairs was the fact that she would have to make up an excuse to the others about why she hadn't woken the Samoan, and she really didn't want to start Christmas on a lie.

She finally pushed open the door, and her breath hitched in her throat at what she saw. Roman was asleep, the covers halfway down his body, leaving his bare chest exposed, his tattoo and beautiful caramel skin was on show, the light from a crack in the curtain falling across his body. His face was peaceful and still and his hair was splayed out over the pillow. It really wasn't fair how gorgeous this man was, Madison thought. How was she meant to stop herself from running her fingers across his cheekbones, down his thick neck and across his sculpted pecs and abs? She realised she was in some sort of trance, which would be bad if Roman woke up and caught her.

She took a couple of steps closer to the bed, it felt wrong just being inside the bedroom he shared with his wife, but she pushed that out of her mind. She was only here to wake him up and get him to come downstairs so that they could begin their Christmas, that was all, that was most definitely all. She watched helplessly as her hand reached out and pushed a lock of hair from off his face before tracing down and running a finger over his plump lips. Finally her mind snapped back to reality and she removed her hand, just as he stirred. His eyes twitched, but didn't open and Madison's heart beat harder in her chest. She needed to get a grip of herself.

“ Hey Roman, how is it that you have a six-year-old kid, yet you're asleep at ten on Christmas morning?” She said, gently pushing on his shoulder.

“ One, my kid isn't here, so I get a pass on eating cookies and pouring half-spoiled milk away, and two, when she is here, I usually am forced awake by her launching herself onto the bed.” He smirked, his eyes still not opening.

“ Well, Santa got lucky this year, and got whiskey instead of milk. But it turns out Dean's Santa anyway.”

“ Dean's Santa? huh, who knew?”

The Samoan's eyes finally opened and locked with Madison's, he sat up in bed and looked her up and down, something unreadable flashed across his eyes. He reached out his hand and took Madison's smaller one, rubbing his thumb across the back of it slowly, sending all kinds of shivers through her body. 

“ You look incredible.” He said, his voice still husky from sleep.

The compliment had a completely different effect on her than the one Seth had paid her this morning, her heart started beating faster, her whole body on the verge of trembling. He brought her hand up to his mouth and placed a kiss on it. Madison was frozen on the spot, she wanted nothing more right now than Roman to rip her clothes up and give her what she really wanted for Christmas, but it once again flashed up in her head that this was Roman _and his wife's_ bedroom, and it was bad enough that she had made him take her in the guest room, never mind their marital bed. No, it was best they stayed away from each other, like Roman had said, and let their thoughts and feelings sort themselves out.

“ I'll tell the others that you'll be down soon.” She said finally, breaking the intense eye contact and pulling her hand away from his before leaving the room quickly.

* * *

Roman got out of bed and headed into his en-suite, turning the shower to cold, he was glad that Madison hadn't seen the effect her mere presence had had on his lower regions. He stepped under the spray, hoping to calm himself down. Why did things have to be so complicated? It had been complicated before, and now, with what had happened to Benji, it was ten times worse. What Madison had said to him the day before was still playing on his mind, he was ninety-nine percent sure he had played no part in the other man's death, but she had planted the seed, and now it was starting to sprout in his head.

When he had woken to see the brunette looking so incredible, standing over him, he had to fight the urge to pull her down on to the bed with him and show her exactly what he wanted this Christmas, but he had to let her heal. Even if she wasn't crying and smashing things like she had been the day before, it didn't mean it had all just gone away. Plus, it would have been very wrong to have done that in his marital bed, where he and Kayla had slept together for many years. Kayla! He guiltily realised that he hadn't even given her a single thought since they arrived back at the house on Tuesday night, other than when Madison had been using her to try and make him angry the day before. That was bad, he thought that he should perhaps give her a call, see how she was doing, it was Christmas after all, but he really wasn't in the mood for an argument, and that was what would inevitably happen. He wanted to go downstairs and enjoy this day, with three of his favourite people, until they had to go back to reality.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Sorry it's been a while, we had a family bereavement, so have been busy.  
>  There isn't too long left of this now, probably about five chapters. I'll try not to keep you waiting too long**

When Roman entered the lounge about twenty minutes later he saw Seth on one armchair; coffee in one hand and the other lazily stroking Kevin, the younger man gave him a happy grin when he saw him. Roman looked to the right and his eyes focused on Madison, who was curled up on the far end of the sofa; coffee n hand and her beautiful face beaming and laughing at Dean who was, well, being Dean and dancing some weird Dean-dance in the centre of the room, bobbing along to a medley of Christmas music that was on the TV. His eyes stayed fixed on Madison, the joy in her eyes at that moment while watching Dean was incredible, heart-warming, breath-taking. It was such a jarring contrast to the pain that had been there the previous morning. The Samoan couldn't look away, the sight he was taking in at that moment was just so perfect; if he could wake up every morning to this site, he would be a happy man. He inwardly cursed himself for wanting something so unattainable, so impossible. 

It was then that Madison turned her gaze towards him, their eyes locked and for Roman, the world stood still. How was it fair that she was so beautiful? The smile that had adorned the brunette's face fell, her lips slightly parted. It felt like an eternity that they were looking at each other, but neither Dean or Seth made any comment, so it couldn't have been too long. 

With a small upturn of her lip that could have been construed as a half-smile, she turned her attention back to Dean. Roman was left feeling guilty, even though she was smiling right now, it wasn't fair for him to be pushing, wanting more. He was being completely selfish, as usual, he had been selfish from the outset of whatever this was with Madison, having his cake and eating it, as it were. He shook himself off, shook these thoughts out of his head. He had to leave Madison be, he had to. He retreated into the kitchen to get himself some coffee and to start some breakfast.

* * *

Madison felt a little down now that Roman had left and gone into the kitchen. She had been watching Dean goofing off, one of her favourite pass times, and had felt his gaze on her. When she turned around the intensity in his eyes had taken her breath away. Madison wasn't stupid, she knew what it was; anger. He was totally pissed at her for what had happened the day before, what she had asked of him, what she had said to him. None of it had been fair, Roman didn't deserve that, she was being selfish, as usual. She had to make it up to him somehow, or maybe it was best if she just stayed away, so he could fix things with his wide.  
She turned back to Dean's one man show, and he soon had her smiling again.

* * *

Once they had eaten breakfast, they opened presents, they hadn't gone overboard, just got each other bits and pieces. Madison's favourite present was one that Seth had given to her; a photo collage in a frame. Most of the photos were of him and her, some from their Indy days and some from now. Then there were a few that had Dean, Roman, Naomi, the Usos, Cameron, Foxy and Paige on. Madison didn't even know when most of the photos had been taken, but it brought tears to her eyes all the same. It was a physical representation of her new life, the one she wished she could just move on with once and for all.

“ Hey, shall we go for a dip in the pool before lunch? Try and burn a few extra calories to prepare for the millions that Rome's gonna be feeding us?”

“ You know full well that you won't burn off anything, 'cause it'll just be you and Dean trying to drown each other. You won't be doing laps of anything.” Roman retorted.

“ What's Christmas without trying to drown your friends, huh?” Dean laughed.

They all agreed to go out to the pool while lunch finished cooking. Madison of course had a cover all on over her swim suit, she wasn't about to go without one even though it was just her three friends here with her. When she walked outside, she saw something flash across Roman's face; disappointment maybe? Who knows what that was about.

“ Hey Madison, put some of this on Dean, his pale ass is gonna burn even at this temperature.” Roman called out as he threw a bottle of sun screen towards the woman. Catching it easily, she noticed Dean was about to speak, probably to protest, before Roman gave him a look and he shut his mouth. What she missed was Dean's flash of confusion; he didn't know what Roman was up to, but he trusted him enough to not question it.

Dean scooted forward on the sun lounger that he was sitting on so that Madison could sit behind him. The woman had no clue what Roman was up to either, but she knew he was up to something, surely it wasn't hot enough to require sun screen. Roman usually seemed annoyed, even if he tried not to let on, when Madison got too close to Dean; she remembered vividly the look on his face when she had been wrapped around Dean in the locker room while dressed as an elf. So why he was actively encouraging it was beyond her. Either way, she busied herself doing what Roman had asked. 

As she poured some of the cream into her palms and began rubbing it over the expanse of Dean's back, she noticed something; scars. She had never really been this close to the man's back before to notice the array of small lines, most probably from years of being dropped onto lighting tubes and the like. Once she had rubbed the majority of the cream in, her fingers began absent-mindedly tracing the scars, watching as some joined to others. She felt Dean twitch under her ministrations, he had obviously realised what she was doing.

Dean felt Madison's touch change from rubbing to tracing and it all suddenly clicked into place in his head; Madison was tracing his scars. He now knew what Roman was trying to do, and it made him smile at the Samoan, who smiled back, one eye still on the woman.

Madison was fascinated with the blemishes on her friends' skin. She really should have realised that he couldn't have got away scot-free from his extreme Indy career, but she had never really spared a thought on it before. As she used her right hand on Dean's back, her left moved up to her own body and rested on her ribcage, on her own scar. It was then that she figured out what Roman's plan had been.

“ All set.” Madison patted Dean on the shoulder and immediately he shot up and jumped into the pool, directly onto an unsuspecting Seth. 

Once she saw them both resurface safely, albeit spluttering, she smiled to herself before making her way into the kitchen.

She busied herself refilling Kevin's water bowl and then got out four wine glasses to place on the dining table that Seth had been setting earlier.

“ You okay?” She heard that silky smooth voice behind her, and her whole body tensed.

“ I know what you were trying to do out there, y'know.”

“ Good.” Was his reply.

“ I's not gonna work.” She turned to face him, not realising that he had taken a few steps closer.

She took one step back, finding herself pressed against one of the dining chairs; Roman took another step, their bodies mere inches apart now.

“ We all have scars Madison, inside and out.”

As he spoke, his hot breath brushing the woman's cheek, he took her hand and first of all brought it to his tattooed arm, where his scar lay beneath the ink, Madison hadn't even known it was there. Next he guided her hand lower, toward his care torso and traced her fingers over his hernia scar, Madison had known about this one.

“ It's not the same.” She whispered, the tension palpable.

“ Of course it is. Look at Dean's scars, he got most of them in similar ways to you.”

“ How do you know how I got my scar?” The girl narrowed her eyes at the handsome man, she was pretty sure the only thing she had said was that it was an accident when she was young and stupid.

“ Dean told me, okay? What does it matter?”

“ So, that's what you do, is it? Talk about me? Compare notes?” Her tone was a little annoyed now.

“ Come on Madison, you know it's not like that. All I'm saying is, when you were looking at Dean's scars, what were you thinking? Did it disgust you?” He said, still impossibly close to her.

“ Well, no. But it's different.”

“ You know how bad Dean feels about that scar? Thinks it's his fault. Every time you say something negative about it, it hurts him, you know? Gives him another tiny scar on the inside.” Roman was intense, his eyes boring into hers, causing something inside of her to stir.

“ He shouldn't feel bad, it's not his fault. I was high, I jumped up onto the apron, tried to get involved.”

“ I know, I'm just telling you. Dean's scars tell a story, so do mine, so does yours. They tell us how we got here, how hard we tried, what set backs we encountered. But at the end of the day Madison, we made it, you made it.” His breath was hitting directly on her lips now, all she had to do was move about a centimetre and their lips would meet.

Madison realised her hand was still on his hernia scar, his warmth leaching into her, she felt him trace his hand up her side and his fingers graze her scar, her whole body trembled. She looked directly into his eyes, his beautiful, intense eyes, and she started to close the small gap between their mouths.

“ Guys, Dean's not playing fair, you need to come and tell him.” Seth's voice cut through the tension, disrupted the moment and made both Roman and Madison jump back from where they were pressed against each other, their lips never meeting.

They both laughed awkwardly at the situation as Seth entered the kitchen acting like a whiny child. He stomped in and stood with his arms folded, looking at them.

“ He keeps ambushing me and dragging me under water, and he never gives me chance to recover and make it a fair fight.” He sulked.

“ Seth, we ain't Mom and Dad you know, you're grown ass men.”

The three friends made their way back out to the pool, where Dean was attempting an under-water hand stand.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Finally another update, hope you enjoy**

The rest of the day was spent eating too much, drinking some, and having a lot of fun. There were no more moments of tension or almost-anythings between Roman and Madison. Both parties were both glad and annoyed that they had been interrupted earlier, but neither would talk about it again for the rest of the day. 

That night, when Madison was getting ready for bed, at around eleven, her phone rang. She hadn't looked at the device since the call from Sarah two days ago, hadn't even thought about it, but the obnoxious ring tone now made her freeze. Her first thought was that it would be Benji, pissed off at her for not going back for Christmas; her denial of his death to ensure she had not ruined the day had obviously worked a little too well.

Before she knew it she had missed the call. She picked up her phone and saw that it had been from a private number, dread welled up in her stomach, she didn't know if she could handle talking to Sarah again. There were four text messages also on the device, she looked at those instead of thinking about the call. They were all variations on 'Merry Christmas' from Naomi, Cameron, Paige and Alicia Fox. She quickly typed out a reply and sent to all.

As she hit send, the phone once again came to life, once again a private number. Her hand was trembling slightly as she took a deep breath and answered. The unexpected voice was a welcome sound, all confidence and power.

“ Madison, hi, it's Steph. I hope you are having a great Christmas.”

“ Erm, yeah I guess.” She stuttered out, suddenly apprehensive about why her boss was calling her so late on Christmas Day of all days.

“ I just heard the news about your ex. I wanted to check on you, see that you were okay, well, as okay as can be expected. You're not on your own, are you?”

Madison was so taken aback by the concern in Stephanie's voice that she barely spared a thought as to how the boss had found out in the first place.

“ Erm, no, I'm with . . . I'm with some friends.” She wasn't sure why she didn't name them, but she didn't all the same.

“ Good. If you need a few days, then don't worry about Raw or Smackdown, we can . . .”

“ No!” Madison interrupted, the last thing she wanted was to become expendable at work. “ With all due respect, I think work will help.” She quickly backtracked, not wanting to get into trouble.

“ Okay, that's fine, just let me know if you change your mind. Can I ask you what the circumstances of the death were?”

Madison wanted to be annoyed that Stephanie would ask such a question, that she would try and make Madison talk about something that she didn't want to even think about, but she found that she wasn't. Maybe it was the fact that there was no prying tone in the woman's voice, just business and sympathy. Maybe it was the fact that she had had such a nice relaxing day.

“ Erm, it was drugs. Like, an overdose I guess.” There was worry in the younger woman's voice; would this affect her career, to be associated with something like this?

“ Right, okay. Thank you for being honest with me Madison. I just want to let you know that this will in no way affect your place at work, or your place as Diva's champion. We are behind you one hundred per cent, and if you need anything, you only have to ask.”

Madison choked up; Stephanie was actually laying waste to her biggest fear. The best moment of the young Diva's career so far was winning the championship that she had been dreaming about for so many years, and she didn't want something like this to mess that up for her. If Stephanie, Hunter or Vince wanted to, they could use her connection to her drug-dealing ex-boyfriend to bury her and make sure she never made it to the top again, and Madison had been terrified that that was what was going to happen. To hear the other woman, her boss, allay those fears was making tears well up in her eyes.

“ Thank you Stephanie, that means a lot. And I promise I won't let you down.” Her voice was choked and broke towards the end, but the other woman understood.

“ That's good to hear Madison, and I'm sorry for your loss. Whether or not you guys were together, it must have been awful to hear, especially so close to Christmas. I hope you can enjoy the rest of your break. See you on Monday.”

“ Thanks. See you Monday. Merry Christmas.”

The call was disconnected, and all Madison could do was sit on the edge of the bed with silent tears rolling down her cheeks and dripping onto her legs. Now that someone else knew besides those in her little bubble at Roman's house it made it seem all the more real. She had done such a good job of ignoring it all day, and the guys had been switched on enough not to mention it, but now she couldn't ignore it. Stephanie surely had many ways and means of finding our information that other people didn't, and Madison wasn't sure how she had found out, but if Stephanie knew, who else might know?

The brunette brought up the internet on her phone and searched for the name Benji Tomkins and sure enough, the first thing that came up was a news article from the Pittsburgh Herald. Therein was written that the body of the thirty year old male was found dead in his Pittsburgh apartment, he had been dead for some days, and the cause of death was stated as suspected drug overdose. There was no more information, and the article had been from the previous day. There was a photo of Benji looking handsome, it was from a few years ago, but Madison can't recall when it was taken.

Sickness rose in her stomach; it was there in black and white, there was no ignoring now, even if she really wanted to. Next she logged on to Twitter and sure enough, there were a few messages regarding Benji; some naming him as the man in the video that was uploaded and stating that they were glad he was dead if he could do this to their favourite Diva. This made Madison mad, as much as she knew that these fans were just sticking up for her it still annoyed her that these people thought they could wish death on another human, someone they had never met, and now never would.

Madison thought that the anger bubbling inside of her was inevitable, she was waiting for it and thinking about what the best plan of action would be. She couldn't smash Roman's house up; she had already broken a mirror which she needed to pay for, she couldn't go into any of the guys for sexual comfort; she needed to stop doing that, and drugs was a definite no-no. Exercise would be her only option. But the anger didn't come. That familiar burning rage wasn't building in the pit of her stomach; she just felt sad, and sad was not an emotion that Madison was used to dealing with. All she could think of doing was cuddling, being pulled close to someone and feel their heat at her back, their strength keeping her safe. She left the confines of her bedroom to seek out Seth.

It was only when she was already inside the other bedroom that she realised she hadn't sought out Seth at all, she was in fact in Roman's room. She couldn't even remember when she had made the decision not to go into her best friends' room, but her feet and head were obviously not on the same page. Despite everything in her brain screaming at her to turn around and find Seth, her traitorous feet moved closer. She could hear the Samoan's breathing heavy and even, and was glad that he was asleep and wasn't privy to her inappropriate behaviour. As she moved ever closer to the bed, she found herself thinking how good it would feel to be in those big strong arms right now, to feel that searing heat that Roman always brought against her back. Before she knew it, she had peeled back the covers and was sliding into the open space next to the sleeping man.

Roman didn't wake, thankfully; Madison didn't know if she could handle the embarrassment of explaining to him why she was in his bed. Despite their moment earlier, Madison knew that the man had not forgiven her for the events of the previous day. As she settled down with her back close to his chest she felt a strong arm circle around her and pull her close, her breath caught in her throat as the front of Roman's body was plastered to her back, she couldn't have gotten closer if she wanted to. 

When Roman didn't make a sound and Madison was sure he was still asleep, she let herself relax, and she felt a thousand times better than she had when she had been alone in her own room. His strong, albeit unconscious, form behind her was comforting, gave her strength to not think about Benji. His face nuzzled into the back of her neck and Madison realised that this was all she had ever wanted, someone to be there for her even when they weren't awake. With all the tension gone from her body, Madison felt herself drifting off, and she really wished she could just stay here forever.

* * *

Roman twitched awake, he wasn't sure what had woken him, but the darkness behind his blinds told him that it was some time in the middle of the night still. He smiled and wrapped his arm tighter around the sleeping woman in his arms, listening to her soft breathing, soothing him. _Hold on . . . sleeping woman?_ Roman's sleep fogged mind cleared a little and he realised that there shouldn't be a woman in his arms, his wife was in Canada. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he made out the delicate features of Madison and his breathing hitched. _Why was she here? Was she really here?_

He softly brushed the hair from her shoulder to the other side and placed a kiss on the soft skin he had uncovered. Even in her sleep, Madison made a mewling sound that Roman thought was amazing. He moved his hand around the supple body and sneaked it under her vest top, running his finger over the now-familiar scar, pulling a shiver from the other. The Samoan thought that he could really get used to this, and in his half-asleep state, he didn't even bother to rebuke himself for his treacherous thoughts. Instead, he placed another kiss to the back of her shoulder and closed his eyes, hoping and praying that this was not all a dream.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Sorry this one's so short, I just wanted to start moving the story on again. There should be another, longer, chapter out today too. Enjoy**

When Roman awoke on Boxing Day morning, he had a smile on his face, even before he opened his eyes. When he tried to tighten his arm around the beautiful woman in his bed, he was met with empty space. His forehead crinkled in confusion, was she ever actually there? He was sure he could still feel the ghost of the imprint of her back pressed perfectly against his chest, the feel of her soft hair against the side of his face as he gently nuzzled into her neck. He ran his hand over the sheets in front of him, they didn't hold the heat of a recently departed person; if she had ever really been there, then she had left some time ago.

He let out a frustrated growl as he got out of bed and padded towards the en-suite; for the second time in as many days he would frantically get himself off in the shower like a horny teenager.

When he had dressed, he headed down and into the kitchen where he found Madison and Dean, both dressed and sat at the table with mugs of coffee. They informed him that Seth was out walking Kevin. Once he poured himself a mug of the hot liquid he sat down with them and turned to Madison.

“ How're you finding that guest room? My brother always complains that the mattress is too hard.” It was a lie, his brother had never actually stayed in that room, but Roman wanted to see the woman's reaction, see if there was a flicker of something in her eyes that would let him know that last night had not been a dream.

“ No, it's super comfy, great views too, I slept just fine.” The brunette hadn't even flinched, no sign of embarrassment or recognition of any kind. Maybe it had just been a dream.

“ That's 'cause you like it hard, don't you Mads?” Dean leered and stuck his tongue out between his teeth.

“ Not as hard as you like it up the ass.” She retorted and Dean stuck his middle digit up at her. “ Yep, that the one you like to sit on, Ambrose?”

All three of them were laughing when Seth returned and served them all a bowl of fruit salad he had prepared earlier on.

As they were eating, there was a knock at the door, which was a little strange with it being the day after Christmas.

“ That be Olivia?” Seth asked, his mouth full of watermelon.

“ Nah, I'm picking her up.”

Dean jumped out of his chair, excitement in his eyes as he bounded towards the door like a puppy, muttering to himself the whole time.

“ Could be carollers, or presents, or carollers with presents . . .”

The other smirked and heard him exchange a couple of sentences with whoever it was (obviously not carollers, with or without presents) before his footsteps got nearer once again.

“ Some special delivery dude, just a letter for you Ro.” He held out the large brown envelope to the home owner.

“ Just put it over there somewhere.” Roman replied, waving the dirty blonde off.

“ You're not gonna open it? Come on Rome.” Dean's eyes were wide, he was obviously intrigued.

“ Nah man, just set it down.”

“ But it could be something cool, like . . . a Christmas card from Samoa, or a big ol' cheque from somewhere.” He was bouncing around now, on the balls of his feet.

“ I _said_ just put it down Dean.”

Roman's tone was becoming increasingly more snippy, but Dean was in one of his playful moods and wasn't giving up.

“ I know if someone took the trouble to send _me_ a special delivery at Christmas, then _I'd_ wanna know what it was.” His tone was teasing, but both Madison and Seth noticed the warning flare of the Samoan's nostrils.

Roman stood quickly, his hand slamming onto the table top, and faced up to Dean who now looked a little sheepish as it dawned on him that maybe he had pushed too far.

“ You wanna know Dean? You wanna know? They're divorce papers, express delivery from Canada, Merry-fucking-Christmas to me. Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go fetch my daughter, feel free to open them up and read at your leisure if you're _so damn interested_!”

The anger coming from the large man shocked all three of them, Madison especially, as she had never seen Roman so angry before.

“ Ro . . . I . . .” Dean stammered, but the other man was already at the door, car keys in hand, and then he was gone, the door slamming violently behind him.


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Longer chapter here for you guys :)**

“ Fuck.” Dean flopped back down into the chair that he had been occupying earlier. “ I wasn't expecting that one.”

Seth leaned over to put a hand on Dean's shoulders, obviously aware that his friend was upset.

“ I don't think any of us were Deano, I mean, we knew they were having issues, but I never thought they would break up. He always said he didn't want to put Olivia through it, I mean, she was too young to be aware when her Mom and Dad broke up, but now she isn't.”

“ I know, I thought things were sorted between them, but I mean, with her being in Canada over Christmas, maybe we should have suspected it wasn't okay.”

“ Come on Dee, there's no point beating yourself up about it, you didn't know.” Seth soothed him.

“ I know . . . d'ya think he's really really mad at me?” Dean looked sad, like a little boy.

“ Nah man, he'll be fine, you know Ro, he can't stay mad for long.”

Madison was barely listening to what the two men were talking about, she felt bad for Dean, he was obviously upset that he had upset Roman, but the woman had more urgent matters on her mind. Divorce papers? That meant Roman would no longer be married, that he would be free to be with someone else, to sleep with someone else (not that he hadn't been doing that one already), to find someone else. What if he got a new girlfriend and then he didn't want to carry on whatever he and Madison had going? Would that be okay? Would that upset her? She didn't know how to feel. The burning question at the back of her mind, that she refused to acknowledge; what if he wanted to be with her? What then? She couldn't think about that, things were fucked up enough already without that. Throughout this thing with Roman, whatever you wanted to label it, there was always the safety blanket of knowing he had his wife to go back to; Madison knew that was skewed thinking and probably made her a terrible person, but it kind of helped that he was married. If he was married he couldn't want to much from her, more than she could give. If he was married, it didn't matter what confusing feelings she was having inside of her head, she could never act on them. If he was married it meant that she was safe. If he _wasn't_ married, what did it mean for them? 

Madison felt nauseous, there were too many things going on, too much had happened over such a short amount of time. She found herself wishing that Benji was there, that she could go running back to him, no matter how much it would piss off her friends. Benji was her safety net, her comfort blanket, despite the fact that he wasn't all that comforting. She knew what she had with Benji, where she stood. And now he was gone. It finally hit her full force, Benji was gone. No matter how much he had hurt her, how much he had brought her down, he had been someone she could always go back to, to run to for shelter. And now he was gone. And she was alone. Alone in a room full of people. She hadn't even realised she was crying until she felt both Seth and Dean crouch beside her and wrap their arms around her. Even Kevin got in on the comforting, stretching his front paws up her leg as far as they could go so that he could lick at her kneecap.

“ What's wrong Madison?” Seth's voice was soft and comforting.

“ It's too much, there's just so much going on, so much happening.” The sobs that were racking the woman's small frame were making it difficult for her to talk and breathe at the same time, but the men could just about tell what she was saying.

“ I know babe, but it's gonna be okay.” Dean tried.

“ You don't know that, you can't.”

“ We do. Roman'll be fine, he'll calm down and we'll be here for him if he needs us, just like we're here for you. I know it sucks Mads, that Benji's gone, whether we liked the guy or not. But we can't change that, we just have to get through it, you know we're here if you need us. We're 'Aiga.”

“ 'Aiga?” She sniffled.

“ It's Samoan for family, Ro's obviously rubbing off on him a little too much, thinks he's Samoan half the time.” Seth laughed.

“ Hey, Momma Reigns calls me son, just 'cause you attacked her baby with a chair and got disowned doesn't mean I did.” Dean protested and it made Madison laugh.

“ She still loves me, she's just mad.” Seth defended himself. “ You think she'd have got over it since she knows it's not real and it was over a year ago.” He explained to Madison, whose tears were drying up and was giggling at the argument.

“ My Gramma loves you both. She just loves Uncle Dean more, same as me.” A small voice called through from the hallway, they hadn't even heard the door open.

“ There's my girl!” Dean chuckled as the small brunette ran and flung herself into his arms.

“ You know Livvy, you could really upset a guy like that.” Seth pouted.

“ Sorry Uncle Seth, I love you too. You wanna come see my presents?” 

She grabbed Seth's hand and began leading him towards the door, just before she reached it, she seemed to realise something; she ran back in and threw her arms around Madison.

“ Hi Madison.” She hugged her tight. “ Don't be sad, it's Christmas.” She stated as she wiped a tear from the older girls' cheek before bounding back towards the lounge to show Seth her spoils.

* * *

Roman appeared at the kitchen door, he gave Madison a concerned look, but then turned to Dean and gestured for him to follow him into the hallway. Dean did as asked and Madison was left alone at the table, staring into her coffee cup. When Dean got to the hallway he saw Roman leaning against the wall, looking apologetic.

“ Hey Deano, I just wanted to say I'm sorry, you know, for going off on you before, I just . . .”

“ Come on man, you don't need to apologise. I should be the one 'pologising, it was obvious you wanted me to shut the hell up, but you know how I am, I can't let sleeping dogs lie sometimes.” He smiled his lopsided grin and Roman couldn't help but smile back.

The larger man pulled Dean into a hug, each patting the other on the back.

“ You're my Uso Dean, I shouldn't have taken it out on you.” He said, letting the other go.

“ S'okay, I am kinda a jackass.” He laughed. “ So, you okay? I mean, with Kayla and that? You wanna talk about it?”

“ Maybe another time man, you know how it was, we weren't the couple we used to be. We just fell outta love or whatever. I guess it goes like that sometimes.”

“ Yeah I guess, I'm here if you need me though Uce.”

“ I know man, thanks. Hey, what's up with Madison, was she crying?” Roman asked casually.

“ Yeah, think it's just like the Benji thing, and then she's sad that you were upset or whatever, there's just a lot happening at the minute for her. She'll be okay, you should give her one of your super-Samoan hugs, they always work, 'specially on the ladies.” 

Dean grinned at Roman, before they heard a demanding little voice call from the living room that she wanted her Uncle Dean to come see her new Princess outfit.

Once Dean had gone into the lounge, Roman walked to the kitchen where he found Madison sitting staring into her probably-cold cup of coffee, seemingly lost in her own thoughts.

“ Hey. You okay?” He said gently, so as not to startle her.

“ Yeah. I'm erm . . . sorry to hear about your divorce Roman, that must suck.” She said, turning her head up to look at him.

“ Hey, you don't need to worry about that, you got enough going on.” He placed his hand on her arm and gently pulled her so that she was standing in front of him.

“ I know, but you're my friend, and I don't want you to be sad, and I just feel so bad . . .”

Roman placed a hand on each side of the brunette's face and looked into her eyes.

“ It's not your fault Madison, don't start thinking that. My marriage has been over for a long time now, even before I met you really.”

“ I'm sorry Roman, I shouldn't be getting all upset when you're hurting too.”

Roman pulled Madison into his chest, wrapping his strong arms around her body; she returned the hug, just resting against his broad chest.

“ You're gonna be okay Madison, we both are.” He placed a kiss to the top of her head.

“ Daddy! Madison!” A little voice called and the two of them laughed as they released each other from their embrace.

* * *

After lunch, which of course consisted of leftover-turkey sandwiches, Olivia decided she wanted to go and play in the pool, so they had all gone to change into their swim-suits. Madison was in her room, she could hear the three men and the little girl already outside splashing around in the water. All afternoon Roman had looked sad, even when he was putting on a smile for his daughter, she could see the sadness behind his eyes; probably the same as he could see in hers, that all three of them could. As with reading about Benji's death in the newspaper article the day before had done with her, perhaps actually having the divorce papers physically in his possession had made the situation seem real; no longer able to be ignored or denied. As much as Madison was worried about what Roman's divorce would mean for the two of them, she couldn't help but want to cheer him up. She knew that climbing into Roman's bed the night before was probably a mistake, that's why she had been so glad that he had still being fast asleep when she awoke; they were meant to be staying away from each other, but she had needed the comfort, and she had got it.

She pulled on her teal coloured bikini, she had loved this bikini when she saw it online, the model had the same skin tone and hair colour as Madison, so she knew it would suit her; if only she could show it off like that model had. As she grabbed her cover-all, she found herself moving towards the bathroom, the bathroom that had a full sized mirror. It had been years since Madison had looked at her reflection in a full length mirror; she could never bring herself to do it, frightened and ashamed of what she might see. Even at work she avoided the mirrors, just pulled on her ring gear and let the make-up Divas deal with her hair and face, and she never watched her matches back, or spent any more than a split second looking at any of the promotional photos they had taken. But now her feet had guided her to right in front of the mirror, wearing just her small swimwear. At first she didn't look directly at herself, staring somewhere around the reflection of her calves, but then she took a deep breath and decided to go for it.

It was a testament to how her confidence had grown that she didn't immediately throw up on seeing herself, she actually couldn't look away. She placed her hand on the side of her neck and then traced her fingers down, across her chest, over her stomach and hip to her thigh. She was in fact, pleasantly surprised with what she saw; full breasts, flat stomach, strong but slim arms and legs. She turned to the side and looked at her butt, it was quite nice, not too big, not too small. The realisation that she wasn't hating what she saw was making it difficult for Madison to breathe. How was this possible? She had always hated herself.

Now for the true test; Madison moved the arm that she had instinctively raised to cover her scar. As it came into full view she steadied her ragged breathing; she used her fingers to graze across the flesh, causing her to shudder at the sensation. In the past few months she had often thought that her hatred of her scar was lessening, maybe having someone tell you something was ugly every single day made you believe it without thinking, and in the same way, maybe having people tell you the opposite made you think differently again. She thought about the times that Roman had worshipped the very flesh that she hated, that he had caressed it with his hand, with his mouth; she thought about Seth telling her that her scar was just as beautiful as the rest of her; she thought about what Roman had told her the previous day, about how it affected Dean when she said negative things about it, how he blamed himself for it. She couldn't say that she thought her scar was beautiful, but she wasn't repulsed by it either, she found, looking in that mirror, that she didn't really feel anything towards it. It was a part of her, it would always be a part of her, just like Roman's and Dean's scars would always be a part of them, and she still thought the both of them were beautiful, for want of a better word.

Letting her cover all drop to the floor, she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself before taking a deep, calming breath and walking downstairs. As she exited the house through the kitchen the others glanced her way, but didn't really pay her much attention – that was good. 

_Am I really going to do this?_ She thought to herself. Well, if she was ever going to do it, the best time would be now, in front of three people who she trusted completely. She dropped the towel, like ripping of a band aid, now it was done and she couldn't take it back.

All three men's gazes spun towards her, their eyes popping out, not really believing what they were seeing. Madison didn't look at them straight away, but could feel their gazes on her, piercing her. She busied herself tying her hair back into a ponytail, which only emphasized the fact that her scar was on show, as she held her arms up and everyone had full view of the once-hidden mark. Dean was the first to speak.

“ You really shouldn't be doing things like that without warning us Madison, I'm having all kinds of impure thoughts over here.” He shouted; Madison glanced to make sure Olivia wasn't looking her way before sticking her middle finger up at Dean.

It was then that she saw their faces, each one smiling, and for the first time since that morning, the smile on Roman's face was genuine. He winked at her and she couldn't help but smile back; she had cheered him up even without really trying. Madison hadn't noticed Olivia pull herself out of the swimming pool and make her way over to her. When she felt a small, gentle touch on her scar, she flinched a little and looked towards the curious child.

“ How'd you get this?” The child asked, her fingers running idly back and forth over the sensitive flesh.

Madison saw Roman move, about to tell Olivia to stop being nosey probably, but Madison just smiled.

“ You wanna know how I got it? You sure?” She teased, and she saw the apprehension in Dean's face – Roman hadn't been lying. Olivia nodded excitedly.

“ Okay.” Madison said and stalled for dramatic effect. “ Shark attack!” 

The little girl's eyes widened dramatically, as did the three men sitting by the pool. Dean chuckled and seemed to relax, which Madison was happy about. Seth and Roman were both smiling to themselves.

“ Really?! That's so cool! How big was it?”

“ It was huge, probably the size of the whole of this pool.” Madison smiled happily, Olivia was obviously enjoying the tall tale.

“ That's amazing. How did you get away?”

“ Well, I wrestled it of course! I got it in a headlock and then gave it a few knees to the gut, it soon swam away.” Both females giggled.

“ You are so brave Madison! Can we play shark attack? You be the shark and I'll be you.” Olivia asked as she jumped back into the pool.

“ Okay, but you gotta remember that a sharks weakness is if you get behind it, it can't see you. So what you gotta do, is swim as fast as you can behind it and lock in a sleeper hold – you know how to do that? - yeah – okay, so you do that, and then it can't get you.”

Olivia was looking so adorably excited that Madison forgot all about how nervous she had been about showing her scar. She jumped into the pool beside the little girl.

“ Okay Madison, so I'll be swimming, then you have to sneak up on me and try get me.” She grinned. “ Then Daddy can be the shark next and get Uncle Seth and Uncle Dean.”

Madison nodded as Olivia began swimming slowly, waiting for the impending attack. She took a look up a the guys who seemed to be enjoying watching.

“ I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have told your daughter to choke me out in a pool, not my best idea.” Madison aimed towards Roman.

“ It's okay, her sleeper ain't strong yet, you'll be fine. She can lock a sleeper in about as well as Seth.” Roman and Madison both chuckled at that.

“ Jokes on you Ro, you're the shark next and I'm gonna choke you out for saying that.”

As they began to bicker, Madison started to swim over to Olivia, who kept casting glances back to make sure the woman hadn't forgotten about her. When Madison reached her and nudged into the girl's side with her head, the child let out an ear-piercing scream before turning around in the water and jumping on to the woman's back, wrapping her arms around her neck and shouting.

“ I'll get you, you stupid shark. I'm from the Samoan Dynasty! No one can beat me!”

All four adults started to laugh at that, Olivia obviously very proud of her heritage. Madison was laughing so much she accidentally swallowed a bit of water and started spluttering, but she soon gained control of herself.

“ Pretty sure you should shout that before you spear someone Ro, instead of your roar.” Dean laughed as the three men jumped into the pool to join in the fun.


	42. Chapter 42

The rest of Boxing Day was spent having light-hearted fun, making sure Olivia had the best possible time. Nothing 'heavy' or troublesome was mentioned, no one drew attention to the fact that Madison had willingly revealed her scar – they just enjoyed each others' company and made the most of their last full day off. 

When it was time for Olivia to go to bed, later than usual as it was a special day, the others could hear her cries and knew Roman had told her than he and Kayla weren't going to be together anymore. He hadn't wanted to do it now, not at Christmas-time, but he wanted the news to come from him, and he would be back on the road the next day. It took him about half an hour to calm her down and get her settled enough to go to sleep.

Once he returned downstairs, at around ten-thirty, he looked forlorn and so Dean suggested that he made everyone a hot chocolate and then they should all head to bed, they had a long day ahead of them.

Dean went into the kitchen, and Madison followed, wanting to talk to him in private. She wasn't sure how to start of the conversation that she wanted to have with him, but when Dean spoke, she didn't have to.

“ Decided to put some clothes on, huh?” Dean smirked as he warmed the milk in the pan, Madison knew that this was his way of bringing up the subject that she had wanted to talk about anyway.

“ I figured you'd have all had enough of my skin for one day.”

“ Never!” He said in mock surprise. “ In all seriousness though Madison, that was cool, you know . . .” He trailed off, maybe feeling a little uncomfortable, if Roman had been telling the truth.

“ Yeah, thanks.” The woman busied herself with getting the marshmallows from the cupboard. “ Dean, you know, Roman said something to me yesterday . . .”

“ Did he? Was it pervy? Want me to knock him out?” Madison thought that maybe Dean had some inclination as to what Roman might have told her, and was trying to avoid the subject, using humour as a defence. He had turned away from her again, stirring the chocolate powder into the pan.

“ Nah, he told me that you blame yourself for my scar.” May as well come straight out with it.  
The woman watched as his shoulders sagged a little.

“ Is it true?”

“ Well . . . yeah. I mean, I was the one that pushed you. If I'd have been more careful then you wouldn't have been hurt.”

“ Hey, look at me.” Dean turned around slowly at her request and Madison placed one hand on his shoulder gently. “ You don't think that maybe me jumping up on the apron was the problem? Or hell, even going out there in the first place, in the state I was in?”

“ Well, yeah, I know. But you just hate it so much, and get upset about it, and I was the one who pushed you.”

“ Dean, listen to me – it wasn't your fault. And anyway, I kinda don't hate it anymore. It's just . . . I guess it's just a part of me, like yours are for you.”

Dean smiled at this, he brought his hand up and slid it under Madison's top, resting it on the ragged flesh, his warmth seeping into her.

“ Perfectly imperfect, that's us.” He smiled again, running his fingers across the scar before moving his hand away, he didn't miss the shiver that ran through the woman's body. “ You gotta be kidding me?! This some kinda erogenous zone for you now? Now wonder you don't hate it anymore! Duly noted.” He winked and laughed as Madison slapped his hand away.

“ Duly noted fucking nothing, you asshole!”

Dean had turned away now, pouring the chocolate mixture evenly between four mugs. Roman entered the kitchen, Seth following behind him, with slight concern on their faces.

“ What's going on in here? Don't you know there's a kid sleepin' upstairs?” Despite his stern tone, the dark-haired man wasn't too annoyed, in fact he was just happy that Madison was still smiling.

“ Sorry Ro, I just found out that Mad Max here gets turned on by people touching her scar now. It's like one extreme to the other.” He grinned.

“ I do not! Leave me alone Ambrose.” She protested as she passed a mug to Seth and one to Roman.

As she handed Roman his, she noticed the knowing smirk on his lips that so obviously said _Oh yeah you do_. She just flashed him a scowl, but just his recognition of it made a burning want glow inside of her.

As she knew she could in no way act on it with Olivia in the house, and because she had vowed to keep her distance (did that vow even mean anything now that things with his wife were past the point of reconciliation?), she settled for following the others quietly into the lounge.

* * *

The next day they had to be back on the road – or in the air to be more precise – as they had an almost eight hour flight to Portland, Oregon. Roman dropped Olivia off at her Mother's house at around noon while the others went home to pack some clean clothes, before they all headed to the airport. They would arrive just after nine at night and had promised to meet up with Jimmy, Jey and Naomi for drinks, because they wanted to catch up, as they had spent the holiday season in California.

Roman hated having to give his daughter back, if he had his way he would keep her with him constantly, but life on the road was not fair on a six year old. As he drove to the airport, where he was meeting the others, he though back over the last few days. Of course, there were some really bad parts, like Madison finding out that Benji was dead, and his divorce papers arriving on Boxing Day of all days, but all in all, he thought they had made the most of the time they had. Thinking of the moment when Madison dropped her towel at the poolside to reveal that she was wearing only a bikini put a smile on his face; it was his favourite memory of the holiday. In some way he felt a little proud, like he had been part of the reason that she had felt comfortable doing that, but he didn't know if that was true in any way. Then seeing her interact so well with his daughter was also amazing, they got on so well, and he found himself wondering if Olivia would mind if Madison was around a lot more. _Fucking stop it Roman!_ He chided himself quickly, he had to stop thinking like that. Madison was grieving, and he was only one day removed from signing the papers that Kayla had sent.

As he parked his car in the airport parking lot, he rubbed his face, trying to clear his head. He needed to focus on work – there was only four weeks until the Royal Rumble, when he would face Cesaro for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship – that was what he needed to concentrate on.

The flight was uneventful and long, when they finally left the plane, their legs were stiff and in need of a good stretch. It didn't take long for their bags to arrive and they headed towards the rental car desk. Madison offered to drive, but Seth took the keys - they never let her drive.

“ I don't know about you guys, but I say we head straight to the bar, I could do with a drink.” Dean laughed as he threw his bag into the trunk.

“ Don't you wanna go change first?” Seth questioned.

“ Hey, we barely drank anything over Christmas, and it's not like we didn't have reason to. At least half of us had great excuses to get shit-faced and forget the world, but we didn't, so I say we earned a drink.”

“ Fair point.” Seth conceded and headed towards the bar.

Luckily the one that Naomi had chosen was within walking distance of the hotel, so it wouldn't matter about leaving the car. When they had entered and found a booth, Dean and Roman went to the bar. Seth leaned over the table and took Madison's hand, the woman was a little startled, but she smiled at her friend all the same.

“ Mads, I just wanted to say I'm proud of you. I didn't get the chance to say it before.”

“ Proud of what?” She scoffed, not sure what Seth was getting at.

“ Of everything, I mean, I know this week musta been pretty shitty for you, what with the news about Benji, but you handled it. And yesterday, with your scar, I'm just so proud of you.”

“ Thanks big bro, I guess.” The sweet words choked Madison up a little.

“ I love you sis.”

“ I love you too.”

“ And I love sambuca!” Dean and Roman had arrived back at the table with the four drinks, plus four shots.

“ Shots Dean, really? You do realise we have TV tomorrow?” Seth reprimanded him.

“ One's not gonna kill you Sethie.” He said, handing out the small glasses. “ Now come one, let's raise a toast to our crazy, unconventional, but helluva sexy family!”

They all laughed and knocked back the shots, feeling the burn in their throats.

“ You gonna be okay tomorrow?” Roman asked Madison a little later, the woman immediately knowing what he was asking; if she could handle going back to work so soon after the news about Benji.

“ Yeah, I'll be fine. I can't wait to get back actually. Stephanie offered to give me some time off, but I didn't want it.”

“ You spoke to Stephanie?” 

“ Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys. She called me on Christmas night, saying she heard the news – hell knows how – and checking if I was okay.” Madison forgot about that, she had been so relaxed when she woke up in Roman's arms that it had fallen from her mind.

“ The McMahon's know everything! It's nice of her to do that though.” 

Roman thought back to Christmas night, when he had been sure that Madison was in his bed with him, maybe it had been because of the call from Stephanie. One thing was for sure, he was going to find out if it had been a dream or not.

“ Nice of who to do what?” Jimmy's voice broke through their conversation.

All four of the people sitting at the table were silent, not knowing how to answer. They were staring up at the three expectant looking faces with blank looks, it must have looked comical, because Jimmy began to snicker.

“ Y'all look like I just asked you to solve some algebraic equation or somethin'.”

Madison snapped out of the trance first, she realised that the guys weren't saying anything because they didn't know what, if anything, she was going to tell people. She really didn't want to say the words again, but these people were her family now, she had to do this.

“ Benji's dead.” She said bluntly, and it was the other three's turn to look dumbfounded.

The three of them sat down; Naomi and Jimmy on the side with Madison and Roman and Jey with Dean and Seth.

“ Shit Mads, are you okay?” Naomi asked, wrapping her arms around her friend.

“ I dunno, I will be.” She answered truthfully; surrounded by her friends, she had really begun to think that she would be.

Thankfully Naomi and the twins didn't ask many questions regarding Benji, which meant that Madison could relax and enjoy herself. After a few drinks they all moved on to the non-alcoholic kind so that they were fresh for Raw the next day.

* * *

Madison had slept well that night and she awoke in the morning feeling fresh and ready to hit the gym hard. The four of them hadn't overindulged too much over the holiday, but they had certainly eaten plenty and the woman felt like she needed a really good session in the gym to make herself feel even remotely ready for TV. She was glad that her stomach didn't really show in her ring gear, as she felt a little bloated. 

Once she was dressed, she headed down to the hotel fitness suite and smiled when she saw Roman was already there, working with some dumbbells. When he noticed her arrival he smiled and greeted her, taking in how good she looked in her tight leggings and loose fitting vest top.

“ Don't ya really hate the first show back after Christmas?” Madison grumbled. 

“ Not really, why?”

“ I just feel all bloated and horrible, s'all the hot chocolates Dean made.” She smiled and Roman laughed at that.

“ I'm pretty sure I recall it was _you_ who requested we had hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows, because it's what people _do_ at Christmas.”

“ It _is_ what people do at Christmas, but then most of said people don't have to go throw themselves around on TV in front of millions of people with their Christmas bellies.”

Roman laughed a little louder at this.

“ You don't have a Christmas belly, you look great, as always.”

“ No need to lie Reigns, just 'cause some of us aren't blessed with the sculpted physique of an Adonis.”

“ Hmmmm I like it when you call me that.” Roman noticed the blush that ran up Madison's face, he walked over to her and grabbed hold of her wrists, making her face him. “ And I wasn't lying. You look good, just like you did on Saturday, you have no idea how amazing you looked in that bikini.”

“ At least my scar didn't make anyone throw up.” She smirked, mostly only joking now, although before, that had been a real fear at the thought of anyone seeing her scar.

“ I liked being able to see it, reminds me of all those times I've touched it, kissed it.”

His voice was a deep rumbling whisper now and Madison could practically feel it vibrating through her whole body. She had no idea why he was being this sexy, he said he was going to back off, but she certainly couldn't pull away when she saw his mouth closing in on hers.

When their lips touched their was a spark, and Madison immediately wanted him to take her, right there and then – not like it would be the first time they'd done it in a hotel gym. But Roman wasn't rushing this, he moved his lips slowly against hers, teasing the seam of them with his tongue until she parted them to allow him entry. His tongue was lazy in it's movements against hers, savouring every taste, every sensation. When his hands moved from her wrists to her lower back she couldn't help but press her body up against his, and was proud of the groan it elicited from him.

It was the sound of the door that broke them apart, both jumping back a little, afraid that it was one of their co-workers about to catch them. Luckily it was just a staff member going in to check the changing rooms. The moment however, was over, the two of them stood only a foot apart, staring at each other, wide-eyed. Neither spoke, but their breathing was heavy. Roman smiled, Madison returned it, before they both headed back to their workout, neither knowing what to say to the other. Madison began stretching, which was when Roman apparently found his voice.

“ Hell nah, you can't be doing that during the daytime.” He sounded amused and somewhat amorous.

Madison had been on autopilot, doing her normal warm-up routine, but when the other spoke she realised she was doing her wheelbarrow stretches; the same as she had been doing when he had first touched her in the gym all those months ago. She had to bite back a smile at the memory, instead she turned her head so she could see the Samoan who was stood watching her, with a dumbbell idly at his side.

“ Sorry, am I distracting you?” She asked innocently, and inwardly asked herself when things had become so easy between the two of them. They never really used to flirt, and even when they conversed it had always been laced with sexual tension, but this was just so natural and simple now.

“ You've been distracting me for the past four months.” He replied, too honestly.

Madison froze, not sure how to respond to this, so much for the easy flirting. Thankfully it was then that Seth and Dean decided to join them, and with the presence of the other two, things once again became easy and relaxed. Despite the way that they all bantered and laughed between the four of them, Madison's mind couldn't help but keep casting back to that mesmerizing kiss which had only succeeded in leaving her wanting more.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Okay, I'm going to apologise now, this is a filler chapter, and I'm not really that happy with it. Having said that it had to be done to lead in to the next couple of chapters, which should be good. Hope you enjoy anyway**

As the quartet entered the arena for Raw at around one, Madison found herself getting paranoid, much as she had done on the day that the online video of Benji hurting her had been released. She wondered how many people knew about what had happened over the Christmas break. No one seemed to be staring, but she couldn't be sure, especially as she kept avoiding eye contact with people, and barely said 'hello'. A runner approached the group and told Madison that Stephanie wanted to see her in her office and so she headed off on her own.

The meeting was standard, just the boss checking and double checking that Madison was okay to compete tonight and reassuring her that it wouldn't be held against her if she decided not to. Madison once again stated that she couldn't wait to get back into the ring, and she thought it would help. The compassion was appreciated, but it was starting to grate on her that she had to keep repeating herself, she just wanted to wrestle. Twenty minutes of discussion later, which included Stephanie suggesting that Madison once again pay a visit to the company counsellor, the boss seemed to get the hint that the Divas champion was going to compete tonight come hell or high water.

After that meeting, the brunette had to go to wardrobe to go over some new sketches and give any ideas she had for her new ring gear. That meeting was a lot quicker, and Madison was soon in the make-up chair being beautified. Naomi arrived ten minutes later and checked to see if Madison was okay, before heading to the locker room.

Madison match that night was with Becky Lynch, one of her favourite opponents; they were given fifteen minutes which they used to their full advantage and put on a very impressive match. Afterwards Madison felt rejuvenated, this was definitely what she needed. As she changed in her private locker room, her phone rang – a private number. With shaking hands she pressed the call accept button and brought the device up to her ear, muttering a barely audible 'hello'.

“ Hey Maddy, it's Sarah. How're you doin'?” The woman on the end of the phone sounded nervous too, which wasn't surprising based on how their last phone call ended.

“ M'okay. You?”

“ Yeah, hanging in there, as always. Listen, I'm sorry about the other day, I just thought you would have wanted to know. Anyway, I was just ringing to let you know that the funeral is on Thursday, eleven a.m. It's at Glendale Baptist Church, you know, round from where we lived.”

It sounded so strange to hear those words coming from Sarah's mouth – 'where we lived'. Those times seemed like an age ago, and Madison didn't want to reminisce about them, even inside her own head.

“ Yeah, I know where it is.”

“ Okay, so I'll see you there . . . or not.”

“ Yeah, thanks for letting me know.” 

Madison didn't confirm or deny that she would attend and Sarah hung up the phone, the Divas champ was left in silence, save for her rapidly beating heart. It may have been stupid, but Madison hadn't even thought about a funeral, of course there would be one, how could she not have thought of it. Now came the dilemma of whether she should attend. Would she be welcome? Did she even want to go? Too many questions to answer and Madison was too worn out to begin to sort through them, so instead she headed for the shower and then straight back to the hotel. She messaged the guys letting them know she had headed back for an early night, they didn't have to leave for the next town until the morning as it was only a couple of hours drive.

* * *

The Smackdown taping went without a hitch, that was, until Madison arrived through the curtain from her match with Naomi. As she grabbed a bottle of water and headed towards her locker room, she was stopped in her tracks by the arrogant, nasal voice of Eva Marie.

“ Good match Madison, a lot of energy.” The brunette was almost fooled that Eva was being friendly, until her next words. “ Sure you didn't take anything to, you know, give you some extra _speed_.” She emphasized the final word and Madison's hackles raised.

The brunette turned around slowly, her knuckles turning white as she gripped onto her championship belt.

“ What was that?”

“ You know, we were just wondering, if you'd taken anything to give you the edge, seeing as you're the expert on that kind of thing.” Eva sniggered, along with Summer Rae.

“ And what makes you say that?” Madison shouldn't have been surprised that this information had come backstage, after all, it was easily found on the internet, but it still bothered her that one of her colleagues would use it to goad her.

“ Well, I heard there was a time you liked to get high and get fucked by as many of the roster as possible, like the little ring rat you are.”

Madison took a step closer to the red head, out of he corner of her eye she could see a few people tense up, as though readying themselves to break up a fight.

“ You may think you know me Eva, but you don't know anything about me. And as for this . . .” Madison gestured her hand in a vague manner towards the other woman. “ if this is you trying to make me fight you, then I'll fight you, but not here. I'll fight you out there.” She pointed back through the curtain. “ And what's more, I'll absolutely decimate you, I'll make you beg for me to stop. And no Eva, it won't be for my championship, 'cause you sure as hell don't deserve a shot at it.”

With that the brunette turned on her heels and walked away, ignoring the muttering that followed her, she just wanted a shower. She steadied her breathing as she rounded the corner, what was happening to her? She had felt the embers of that white hot flame begin to glow in her belly when Eva started bad mouthing her, but as soon as it was there, it was gone. She was confused as to why her body hadn't reacted how she was used to, she would usually have to be pulled away kicking and screaming.

* * *

Roman had been stood with Naomi, congratulating her on her great match against the champ, when Eva had called out to Madison. He readied himself to separate the pair, almost ashamed that the idea turned him on, he was all too aware of what had happened last time Eva had started something with his friend. Naomi had seemed to be on edge too, ready to step in and defend her girl if necessary, but it hadn't been. The pair were astounded when Madison responded to Eva in an extremely calm, albeit threatening, manner and simply walked away. That was not the Madison they knew, and Roman couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

“ What the hell was that?” Naomi questioned, her brow raised in shock.

“ I don't know, I was sure she was gonna hit her, I would've done if I was her.”

“ Something ain't right, she's been too calm over this whole Benji thing, I'm gonna go check on her.” The ebony haired beauty decided.

“ Okay, but will you do me a favour? Drop me a text to let me know how it went, if there's anything I can do?” 

“ Yeah, of course, no problem.” Naomi hugged her cousin-in-law and made her way to the Divas champs' locker room.

When she sheepishly pushed open the door she found Madison sitting on the bench, head in hands, breathing evenly. It didn't look like she was crying, she was just very still and it unnerved Naomi. Cautiously she approached her friend and placed her hand on her shoulder, causing the brunette to flinch, she obviously hadn't been aware of the other's presence.

“ Hey Mads. You okay?” She sat down beside her, their legs touching.

“ I don't know.”

Madison was shaking slightly, almost trembling, and Naomi found herself taking one of her friend's hands in hers and squeezing it tight.

“ Talk to me, what's up? What happened out there? I was sure you were gonna pounce on that bitch, but you just walked away . . . not that that isn't a good thing, but . . .”

“ It's just not me? I know. That's the problem. I feel lost. Or numb. I used to get this weird anger, like a flame inside of me, and I'd just snap, but it's gone.”

“ Isn't that maybe a good thing?” The older woman tried to reassure her friend.

“ I don't know. I just feel like I lost myself. I . . . I can't . . .” Without any warning, the flood gates of Madison's eyes broke, and she began sobbing hysterically.

Naomi pulled her friend into an embrace and held her close as she wept. She figured that this was all the emotion from what happened to Benji coming out, and she was more than happy to be there for her; her and Madison had grown close in the past months. Once the tears had stopped Naomi suggested that Madison ride to the airport with her and the Usos so that they could have girl talk, to which she gratefully agreed.

* * *

Once she had washed her make-up off and showered, Madison felt a lot better, she was almost embarrassed that she had cried so much. Perhaps the call from Sarah the previous day had affected her more than she had let on. She hadn't made up her mind yet on whether or not she would be attending Benji's funeral, she should probably talk to Seth or Naomi about it, but she didn't really want to. Maybe she was scared that they would talk her into going, or talk her out of it, she really didn't know where her head was at. 

Everything felt wrong at the minute, except for the matches, the matches felt as right as always, but everything else was topsy-turvy. In moments when she was expecting to feel her all familiar anger, she felt calmness, sadness, vulnerability; she wanted to cry and be held, and that was not the type of person Madison was. Maybe it was just closure she needed, maybe going to the funeral, seeing it for herself, was all that she needed to feel like herself again.


	44. Chapter 44

The drive to the airport didn't consist of much talking, which Madison was quite glad about if she had to be honest; as much as she wanted to be able to have girly heart-to-hearts like the other Divas had, she just couldn't seem to manage it without it seeming awkward or forced - luckily Naomi seemed to understand and didn't push. Jey and Jimmy seemed to be acting as goofy as possible, probably to try and distract her, and she loved them for it.

Once they got to the airport they met back up with Dean, Seth and Roman; as they were all on the same flight back to Orlando.

“ Hey Mads, heard you had another run in with Eva. Did you smack a bitch?” Dean shouted from the other check-in desk, and Madison blushed as the attendant gave her a strange look.

“ Didn't Ro have to drag you away last time?” Seth added. “ You did, didn't you Ro?”

“ Mm hm.” Roman agreed half-heartedly.

Madison looked over to where Roman was standing behind Dean in the next queue, and saw a small blush on his cheeks, this made her think back to when they had been in the utility closet together – their second time. The woman felt heat glow in her lower abdomen, and immediately had to look away from Roman, who had just looked up and met her eye.

“ She didn't smack a bitch actually Dean, she just offered her a match, all calm and whatnot.” Naomi answered for her friend, who was remaining silent, trying to control her thoughts.

“ That's no fun.” The blonde-brown moaned as they walked to the boarding gate.

* * *

Madison wasn't sat next to any of the others on the plane, she seemed to be quite far from any of them in fact, which suited her right now, she just wanted time to herself to think. It wasn't clear in her head whether or not she should go to the funeral, she could think of several reasons not to go, and several the opposite. Her brain was hurting from all the stress, so she decided to shut her eyes briefly, hoping that the steady hum of the planes engines would sooth her, and that no one would have screaming kids on board. 

The last thing she thought of before she drifted off was the blush on Roman's face at the check-in desk, it reminded her of the flush that rose in his cheeks just as he came. _I should NOT be thinking about that!_ The girl scolded herself mentally, but the smile on her face told a different story.

_Madison opened her eyes and found herself looking up at a hotel room ceiling, nondescript and slightly stained, her upper body tried to life off the bed, but a large hand rested on her stomach and pressed her back down to the soft mattress. She squirmed as the sensation in her lower regions started back up, the tongue brushing across her clit as the strong, long fingers moved expertly inside of her. A low moan escaped her lips and she felt the mouth that was against her pussy smirk. The hand that wasn't holding her body down to the bed wrapped itself around her thigh and spread her legs impossibly wider. She finally took the time to look down and her eyes met the beautiful chocolate brown orbs, tinged with lust. Roman winked at her as he sped up his ministrations and her moans became louder as her climax approached._

_Finally the dam broke and Roman continued his tongue work on her clit to take her through her orgasm, leaving her a shaking, quivering mess. When the tremors had left her body, Roman crawled up so that he was laying beside her; he pulled her up against his big frame, so that her back was pressed against his muscular chest. His hand crept around to her front and his large fingers laced with hers, she didn't pull away as he squeezed her hand in his._

_“ I love you Madison.” He admitted, his voice silky smooth and delicious._

_Madison's face broke out into a wide smile, although Roman couldn't see it from where he was laying._

_“ I . . .” As she was about to respond, the grip on her hand changed, it was no longer the sweet caress of her Samoan lover, it was stronger, almost crushing her knuckles._

_“ You're a joke Madison, no one will ever love you, you whore.” The voice she had not heard in what felt like an eternity, that she never thought she would hear again.  
She froze, her body stiff, as she felt Benji push her onto her front and slide between her legs. She thought this wouldn't happen again, this wasn't supposed to happen, it wasn't supposed to be like this anymore. Her heart started beating faster; in fear not lust, as he forced her legs open, his fingers rough on her, nothing like Roman._

_“ Please don't . . . please.” She sobbed._

_Just as he was about to force his way into her, she felt something shake her shoulder, and her eyes flickered open from where they had been squeezed shut._

“ Excuse me Miss, we've landed.” The air hostess was standing over Madison now, her eyes a little concerned.

Madison's brain finally registered that she was in fact on the plane, having landed in Florida, all the other passengers had already left the cabin. She couldn't form words, her heart was still beating ten to the dozen, her breathing ragged; she just hoped she hadn't said anything in her sleep that would have given away her dream. She gave the hostess a small smile, hoping that she wouldn't think she was being rude by not talking, before grabbing her luggage and exiting the plane.

When she entered the arrival lounge, she saw the others waiting for her. She wished that she could just walk past them and go home; her dream/nightmare had left her feeling uneasy and nauseous, and she really didn't want to make small talk. She also didn't want to see Roman, why on earth had she been dreaming about him telling her he loved her? That was just plain weird. Unfortunately for Madison, she couldn't just walk past her friends, as Roman was giving her, Seth and Dean a ride home.

“ Last one off Madison, you fall asleep?” Jey laughed as he piled himself up with luggage so that Jimmy was free to search for his car keys.

“ Yeah.” She answered shortly, rubbing her temples as her head was starting to hurt.

They headed to the car in relative silence, all seemingly tired and wanting to go home.

“ You guys wanna grab a beer before home?”

“ I'm getting a headache, I think I just need to lie down.” The woman answered her best friend, the nausea and pain making her not care if she sounded snappy.

“ Okay, I'll take you home first.” Roman said softly and Madison smiled a tiny smile, trying to thank him without having to talk.

“ What you up to tomorrow?” Seth pushed.

“ I was gonna spend the day with Nae. I'll see you guys on Saturday for the house shows?” They didn't have a house show on Friday because it was New Years Day.

“ Yeah course.” Seth answered, sounding a little dejected.

“ We not doing anything for New Year?” Dean asked.

“ Paige invited me to a party, I think Renee was gonna ask you to go. Haven't decided if I'm gonna go though, depends what you guys are doing. Mads?”

“ I'm sorry, but can you ask me tomorrow or something, my head is killing me. You go to the party, I'll talk to you later.” Madison tried to sound as though she wasn't about to throw up, but it wasn't working.

Roman had pulled up outside of her apartment and Madison jumped out of the car quickly, throwing a wave over her shoulder at the three men in the car. She hurried into her house and to the bathroom, immediately throwing up into the toilet. She could still hear Benji's taunts from her dream echoing around her head and feel his rough grip on her thighs, even though she knew full well that it hadn't been real, and that he couldn't hurt her again.

* * *

It was late on Wednesday when Seth rang Dean, his voice full of concern. Dean had been texting Renee, carrying on the flirty game of cat and mouse that they had been playing for months, he thought that maybe it was time that they stopped the game, but he would have to leave that decision for another time, Seth sounded like he needed him.

“ Yo Sethie, what's up man?” He said, stretching out on his couch, scratching his belly.

“ It's Madison; I was gonna see if she wanted to go to this New Years Eve party tomorrow . . .”

“ The one that Paige invited you to?” Dean teased.

“ Yes Dean, but that's not the point. Madison's phone's off . . .”

“ Maybe it just ran out of battery.” He offered, hoping to calm his friend a little.

“ That's what I thought, so I went to her apartment, and she's not there, but her car's there. And then I rang Nae and Rome to see if they've heard from her, and they haven't. Yesterday she said she was going to spend today with Naomi, but she hasn't seen her or heard from her, and she had told her that she was spending the day with me.” Seth's voice had been going panicky and it didn't sound as though he was stopping to take breaths.

“ Okay, okay, calm down. It's okay, she's a grown woman, she'll be fine.” Dean reasoned, although there was an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“ What if she isn't, Dean? She was being weird last night when we dropped her off.”

Dean let out a steady breath, he needed to think, surely he could figure out where she'd be, but he couldn't do it with Seth panicking on the other end of the phone.

“ You with Rome now?” He asked.

“ Yeah, he just got here.”

“ Okay, come over to my place and we'll work something out. Try not to worry Sethie, she'll be okay.”

Seth hung up the phone, not even bothering to say goodbye, he was obviously extremely on edge. Dean started to pace, trying to think what he would do in Madison's position, after all, they were very similar. He headed over to the kitchen and poured himself a measure of bourbon; it always helped him to think. As he knocked back the contents of the glass and felt the burn in his throat, he looked at the smartphone in his hand. _Of course!_

As he came to his epiphany, he heard the door open. Peering up he saw Seth and Roman enter his apartment; he held up one finger to let the others know to hold on a sec. His fingers tapped at the small screen, before coming to a halt. Dean looked up at Seth, his brow furrowed.

“ What's Benji's last name?” He asked.

“ Erm . . . Tomkins? Yeah, yeah, Tomkins.”

He tapped the screen again and scrolled down at the results, his face set into a scowl until he found what he wanted.

“ Bingo!” He said, a smile appearing on his face, he was feeling pretty pleased with himself. “ His funeral's tomorrow in Pittsburgh, I'm thinking that's where she'll be.”

Dean looked up and saw both his friends' faces were mixed between confusion and relief. 

“ You really think that she's gonna go to his funeral? After everything?” Roman asked, his deep voice laced with concern.

“ Yeah, I mean, it's what I'd do. Y'know, get closure maybe, or maybe just to make sure the fucker's dead.” His voice was stoic, obviously he couldn't care less about Benji being dead, truth be told, none of them could.

“ So what? Are we supposed to just let her go alone? Let her handle it alone?” Seth exclaimed, his voice high and panicky, and he obviously wanted someone to reassure him.

“ Fuck no! There's a flight in two hours. I'm gonna book three tickets.” Dean tapped some more at his phone, only glancing up to see that his friends were both nodding at him, agreeing that they would go and find her.


	45. Chapter 45

Madison stood on the grass outside of the church gates, it was cold and the ground was still hard from the frost that had spread the previous night. As she looked up at the people entering the building from where she was stood, hidden from anyone looking back behind some trees, she pictured her and Sarah laying on this grass aged sixteen. She remembered how Sarah had pointed out the group of older guys hanging around across the road, and asked Madison if she wanted to meet them. Madison, being sixteen, newly orphaned and craving some kind of attention, someone to care for her, agreed. That was the beginning, and now, this was the end.

She had spent the night in her and Benji's apartment, _Benji's apartment_ , which had been a horrible idea. She hadn't slept at all, not able to bring herself to lay on any surface, each time she did she would think _'is this the spot where Benji died?'_. She ended up sat at the small table in the kitchenette, looking over trinkets from her previous life. There weren't many photographs, but the ones that she had found, they had looked extremely happy. It was only because she knew, that she saw the way she would hold her head to the side in some, to shield a black eye, or have a long sleeved top in the height of summer to hide hand print bruises. The knowing made her cry, she felt sorry for the girl in the photos, and knowing that the girl was her tore at her deep inside.

Maybe coming wasn't the best idea, but she wanted closure, she wanted to finally put this part of her life to rest. She took two steps towards the church, but her body refused to move any further. She watched as the coffin arrived in the hearse, minimal flowers covering it, the pall bearers slid the wooden box from the vehicle and waited for the family to appear from the car behind. Madison recognised Benji's parents, only from photographs, Benji had lost contact with them years ago. They weren't crying, their faces were stony and set, giving away nothing, and Madison didn't blame them; Benji had been awful to them. Next came Benji's brother, Brice, and his wife and sons; Madison had met Brice a couple of times before, when he had come to help his brother out, or try to. Benji had never been grateful for the help and had said too many disgusting things about his brothers' wife and children to be forgiven. Brice wrapped an arm around his wife's back as they walked into the church; not even the children were crying. It seemed harsh that none of his family seemed broken hearted at his death, but also, Madison couldn't blame them, in life Benji had caused them nothing but pain and anguish.

As the last of the mourners, it seemed strange to refer to them as that, given the situation, entered the building, Madison took a shaky breath; it was now or never. Never before had she felt so alone, so unable to even put one foot in front of another, her body seeming to be screaming at her not to go, but her head needed to see, needed to know it was really over. Whilst the struggle in her head was ongoing, Madison had failed to hear footsteps behind her, the first she became aware of was when a hand landed on her waist. Her first instinct was to flinch away from the touch, terrified as to who from her old life had found her hiding here, but then words were spoken softly into her ear.

“ Thought you might need some support.” It was Seth, and never before had his voice been more welcome. She had thought this was something she could do alone, but she now knew that she didn't have to do anything alone anymore.

As she turned, she saw that Dean and Roman were also there, all three dressed in dark suits, all three looking incredibly handsome. She threw her arms around Seth's neck, pressing her face into his shoulder as he returned her embrace.

“ Thank you guys.” She whispered.

“ You really think we'd let you do this alone?” Dean chuckled as he ran his hand down her arm in a comforting gesture.

“ How'd you know where I'd be?”

“ We had Detective Ambrose on the case.” Roman replied, running the back of his hand across her cold cheek.

“ Well thank you, I needed you guys.”

Seth took her hand as they walked towards the church, Roman and Dean on either side of them. The service had only just started as they entered and quickly sat down at the back, not disturbing anybody.

* * *

Once the service was over, they headed outside, along with the other attendees, waiting for the coffin to be loaded into the hearse and be taken away for the burial. Madison wanted to sneak off, but there was no route out which wouldn't mean passing by the hearse. People were giving their condolences to the family, Madison watched as people she recognised walked past, not even giving her a second look. 

A man that Madison recognised caught her eye, one of Benji's drug dealers who owned a club down town, he had been one of the ones who Benji had given Madison to, for payment in kind. As he walked past he winked at Madison and gave her an appreciative look up and down, the woman instinctively grabbed for one of her friends, her hand finding Roman's. Roman glanced over and saw the predatory look that this middle-aged bald tough guy was giving Madison and immediately rose to his full height, pulling Madison behind him and letting out what can only be described as a protective snarl. The man smirked and walked on, leaving Madison trembling. Roman's grip on her hand tightened for a second as he leaned down to whisper into her ear.

“ He's not gonna hurt you again, no one is.”

His words made Madison's heart swell, it felt so good to be protected, really properly protected by people who really gave a shit about her. As Roman went back to talk to Seth, Madison spotted Sarah, who spotted her at the same time. The slightly older woman walked over, Madison saw that she was still thin as a rake, and her eyes looked wide and bloodshot, she was obviously still using something.

“ I didn't think you'd come.” Sarah said, her voice scratchy in her throat.

“ Nor did I.” Madison replied honestly, her heart ached for her once friend, seeing her still stuck in this lifestyle. “ You should really take care of yourself Sarah.”

“ That's alright for you to say, there ain't a silver lining for all of us Maddy. You look good though.” Her eyes were kind, even though she had begun to scratch at her arms, as though something was crawling beneath her skin.

“ You need to get off that stuff Sare, or you're just gonna end up like _him_.” Madison gestured towards the coffin, and as she did, she met Brice's eye, something she was trying to avoid.

“ Maybe that's for the best.” Sarah said before walking off abruptly, Madison didn't know what to feel.

There wasn't much time for her to dwell on how bad Sarah looked, because Brice was on his way over, having left his twin boys with his wife. Seeing another male approaching Madison, the three men behind her moved closer, ready to step in if necessary. As the older man approached he smiled at Madison, a friendly, warm smile, and her bodyguards' hackles seemed to relax a little, sensing no immediate danger.

“ Madison? Is that you?” Brice looked the same as when she had last seen him, three years ago, with just a few extra lines around his eyes, and a couple more grey hairs sprinkled amongst the brown.

“ Yeah, it's me. Hey Brice.” She answered shyly.

“ Hell, I didn't think I'd see you here.” He ran his hand through his hair. “ You look great. I'm so glad you managed to turn your life around.”

“ Yeah, me too.” Madison laughed softly. “ Your kids are cute. How old are they now, like six?”

“ Yeah, they will be in a couple of weeks. You wanna say hi?”

“ No, I'd better not. The last time they saw me wasn't exactly fun for them, probably best I don't bring back any bad memories.” Madison smiled guiltily.

“ None of that was your fault Mads, none of any of it was your fault.”

“ I know that, I just think that it's best if we all move on.”

“ Yeah, it's probably best. I'm glad I've seen you though, doing so good.” Brice gave Madison a quick hug before starting to walk away, but the woman grabbed his arm lightly.

“ Can I ask you something?” Madison's voice sounded nervous, even to her own ears.

“ Sure, go ahead.”

“ Did the coroner come to a conclusion on . . . you know . . . the cause of . . . well, you know. Only, Sarah said that there were some injuries, like there'd been a fight.”  
Madison felt a hand on the small of her back, giving her support, she somehow knew just from the touch that it was Roman. He knew what Madison's fears were about Benji's death; she leaned into the touch slightly.

“ You know what Sarah's like, well, you saw her just. Basically, he'd been away for a couple of days, came home with a busted jaw and bruised ribs, said he'd been attacked, but that was on the Wednesday or something. He called me up, asking me for money, that's how I knew. Sarah likes to dramatise things, especially when she's using, you know that. The coroner's report said straight accidental overdose, a mix of stuff and alcohol. It was nothing to do with any fight, or attack or whatever. He had a head wound that was caused by him collapsing, hitting his head on the beside cabinet, but that didn't kill him, it was the drugs, just like we always knew it would be.” Brice looked sad, but Madison didn't think it was because Benji had died, she figured it was more because of who his little brother had become, someone who wouldn't be missed, that must hurt.

“ Thanks Brice. Go be with your family, I'm fine.”

“ Okay, take care Madison.”

He left and Madison felt a weight off her shoulders, although there was a gnawing guilt eating away in her stomach, remembering the words she had spoken to Roman less than a week ago.

She watched Brice return to his family, kissing his wife tenderly and ruffling his sons' hair; why couldn't Benji have been like his brother, she found herself wondering, then it wouldn't have had to come to this. Mrs Tomkins leaned up to whisper something in her eldest son, now her only son's, ear. The two of them looked in Madison's direction and she felt her stomach flip over; why would Benji's mother be asking about her? When Brice nodded, both Mrs and Mr Tomkins broke away from the group of well-wishers and headed towards where Madison and her friends were.

Quickly she glanced behind her to check where her friends, her support, her lifelines, were. She saw that Dean and Seth had been caught up by a couple of boys aged about ten, asking questions about why they were hanging out together when they hated each other on the TV; she forgot sometimes that they were well known. Roman wasn't talking to the children though, Roman was standing patiently a few steps away, when he saw the mild panic in her eyes he stepped closer and once again rested his hand on the small of her back.

“ You okay?” He leaned down and whispered close to her ear, his hot breath tickling her skin and causing goosebumps to rise on the sensitive flesh of her neck. Even in this strange situation, he still managed to have a tremendous effect on her.

“ Benji's parents.” She said, her voice merely a breath, as the two middle-aged people approached them. Roman's hand never left her back.

“ Madison, isn't it?” Mrs Tomkins said, her voice kind and soft.

“ Yes ma'am. I'm sorry for your loss Mrs Tomkins, Mr Tomkins.” She kept her voice steady, the trembling under control for now.

“ Madison, sweetheart, Brice pointed you out, I hope you don't mind.”

“ We wanted to meet you, well, we wanted to apologise really, we were recently shown the video of you and our son that was put online. We saw what he did to you, our boy, and I can't tell you how much it sickened me, how sorry we are that you had to go through that.” Mr Tomkins finished for his wife, who had tears in her eyes.

Madison couldn't breathe, she couldn't believe what was happening right now. These two, seemingly nice, respectable people were apologising to her for what their son did to her; their son who they had not spoken to for nearly eight years. Once she had managed to get over the initial shock, she found her voice.

“ With all due respect sir, ma'am, you had no idea what was going on, there is nothing that you should be apologising for. You didn't make your son do the things he did to me, say the things he said to me, there was no way you could have known. If anything, I should be the one to apologise, because I could have stopped this from happening. I could have come back to Pittsburgh with him when he wanted me to, I should have tried harder to get him to stop with the drugs when I did.” Her voice was rising, the emotions becoming to much.

Roman took another step towards her, the right half of his body now pressed against her back, she knew he was doing it to support her, both physically and emotionally, and she had never felt more affection towards him than in that moment. There had been a low, displeased noise that had escaped his lips when she had spoken about coming back with Benji, but the other people around them hadn't seemed to notice it.

“ Madison, you need to stop blaming yourself for what Benji did, you couldn't have helped him anymore than we could, the only person who could help him was himself. Brice told us about you, how you stopped taking drugs and made something of yourself, how you stayed with Benji even though you were clean, even though he was hurting you. You don't know how sorry it makes us to know that you went through so much pain at the hands of our flesh and blood. Even though we don't know you, we are proud of what you made of yourself, and what's more, your parents would have been proud too.”

The brunette's resolve broke at that moment, hearing these people who had just lost their child say such nice things to her, say that her parents would be proud, it was too much. Tears rolled down her cold cheeks and her shoulders began to shudder.

“ Sorry, we didn't mean to upset you.” Mrs Tomkins apologised softly.

“ You haven't upset me, I just didn't expect you to say all those nice things to me.”

“ We'll leave you be Madison, we're glad you have someone to look after you now.” Mr Tomkins gestures his head towards Roman, who was still pressed against her back. “ Take care of yourself Madison, have a good life. You deserve happiness, go find it.”

With those last words the couple returned to their son and made their way into the car, Madison was left awestruck. She couldn't stop replaying their apologies in her head, their well wishes, how could such warm-hearted people be related to the man who had hurt her for so long? As the hearse and funeral car left, along with some of the other attendees who were going to the cemetery, the young woman turned around, Roman's arm still protectively around her, she collapsed onto his chest, his other arm came and wrapped around her and he embraced her comfortingly.

“ Can we go now?” She asked, her voice weak and muffled slightly by the material of his suit jacket.

“ Of course.” He answered, placing a single kiss on top of her head. “ Seth, Dee, come on, we're leaving.”

Seth and Dean gave the children they had been talking to throughout Madison's encounter high-fives before they followed Madison and Roman who were already walking back to where the guys had left the car earlier.

* * *

They had headed to a bar, all having a single measure of Johnny Walker's to take the edge off. None of them spoke about the funeral, they didn't really say much at all. All four were still dressed up in their formal wear, sitting in the booth, nursing their drinks, when Madison realised something.

“ It's New Years Eve!” She stated suddenly.

“ Yeah, and?” Dean glanced up, his brow furrowed slightly.

“ Don't you guys have a party to get to? If you leave now you'll be back in plenty of time, the flights are pretty frequent.”

“ We're not leaving you now Mads, besides we wanted you to come with us. You up to it?” Seth asked, hope in his eyes.

“ It's fine honestly, I don't really feel like partying. You guys have to go; Seth I'm sure you have a midnight date with a certain anti-Diva, and Dean, I'm pretty sure New Years is the perfect time to actually tell Renee how you feel about her.”

Dean laughed at that, he hadn't known his feelings were that obvious.

“ You know, if I did do that, it'd mean that this . . .” He gestured his fingers between the two of them. “ . . . us, couldn't happen again.” His grin was teasing.

“ I'm sure I'll live Dean, you ain't all that.” She winked as Dean put his hands over his heart and made a pained face as though she had really hurt him.

“ And Roman, pretty sure New Years Eve is the best time to find someone to take your mind off things at home, and a party full of hot Divas is probably a sure thing.” She teased the Samoan, even though the thought of him with anyone else made her feel more sick than when Benji's parents had approached her at the church.

Roman just pressed his lips together in what could possibly be construed as a smile if examined closely, but could just have easily been a grimace. 

“ Besides, I need to pick up some stuff from the old apartment, there's not much there that I want, but there's some stuff, and you'll all just get in my way there. Yeah, you should go to the party and I'll see you tomorrow.”

Dean and Seth were looking at Roman expectantly, they obviously really wanted to go to the party, but didn't want to leave Madison either, they were looking at Roman to agree to go to the party with them, to let them know that it was okay. The Samoan looked between his two friends and then back at Madison, her eyes misty and sad, even though she was trying her best to hide it.

“ I got a better plan, you two go to the party, go get your girls, and I'll stay here, with our girl. I'm sure just one of us won't get in your way too much, besides, I don't like the thought of you doing that on your own.”

“ But what about the party?” Madison voiced quietly.

“ I don't think a meaningless fuck is gonna do me any good right now, I'd rather be with you.” He placed his hand on her knee under the table.

Seth and Dean both smiled at the sentiment behind their friends' words, Madison however, read more into it. The way he had looked her in the eyes when he said 'I'd rather be with you' had made a shiver run up her spine and a tingling start in her lower abdomen. She smiled softly and pressed her leg into his.

“ That's settled them, Maddy, are you sure you don't mind if we go?” Seth asked, still unsure.

“ Not at all, but I want all the gory details tomorrow.” She grinned at the devious smiles on the two of their faces.

“ Come on then, we'll drive you to the airport.” Roman said as they all finished their drinks.

As he walked to the car, Madison watched the way he moved, so strong and sure of himself. Her brain was full of a thousand different emotions from the day, or the past couple of weeks to be honest, but right now, all she could see was Roman.


	46. Chapter 46

They had driven the others to the airport and said their goodbyes; Madison had received huge hugs from both of them, both still reluctant to leave her, but knowing that Roman would look after her. When they left, Madison gave directions to her old apartment, her embarrassment rose in her cheeks as they entered the less salubrious part of town. She chanced a look over at the driver, but if he had noticed the run-down state of where they were now, he was showing no outward reaction to it. When she told him to pull over as they reached the apartment blocks, he did so quickly and then unbuckled his seatbelt.

“ You stay here, I won't be long.” She said, attempting to stop his movements to get out of the car, but all she achieved was him giving her an incredulous look.

“ I told you, I'm not gonna let you do this alone.” His voice was firm and Madison knew not to push him on it.

He followed her out of the car and towards the building, when they got to the entrance Madison was a few steps in front, which meant that she rounded the corner of the stairwell before Roman. As she did, the Samoan heard someone address her.

“ Hey Maddy, now that Benji's kicked the bucket, how's about you come up to mine and I'll take your mind off your grieving?” The voice was sleazy and unkind, Roman sped up.

“ How's about you back the fuck off.” He said as he appeared behind the brunette, pulled up to his full height and giving the scrawny man his most intimidating glare.

The man's eyes widened impossibly and he gave a little fearful squeak before scurrying past the two of them hurriedly and leaving the building. Roman placed his hand on Madison's hip and squeezed it gently. She turned to him and smiled sweetly, her eyes sad and slightly fearful.

“ Thank you for that.”

“ Always.” He said softly and the words sent a shiver up Madison's spine, the sincerity in them weighed on her heart.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, Madison paused before she opened the door to the apartment, wanting to delay the moment when Roman saw the way in which she used to live. She took a deep breath, and then turned the key. As they entered the small apartment the woman watched as her friend scanned the rooms that he could see, still no reaction.

“ You're probably not used to seeing places like this.” She said, her voice low and timid.

“ Hey, hey, don't do that. Don't feel bad about where you came from, all that matters is where you got to.” He turned Madison around to face him and held her at arms length, looking into her eyes. “ You don't ever need to be embarrassed to show me anything about yourself Madison. I'm not gonna judge you.”

Madison smiled and pulled out of his grip, making her way to the bedroom. Roman didn't follow, but he did move further into the lounge in case she needed him to carry anything for her. In the bedroom Madison pulled out a duffle bag from under the bed, in it was a collection of her old ring gear and merchandise. She scanned the rest of her room and realised that there was nothing else here that was of interest to her; sure there were items that she could have taken and sold, but that didn't interest her, she would rather move on. When she left the room and went back into the lounge she grabbed the bag she had brought with her from Orlando with her clothes and toiletries in. Roman held his hand out and she passed him the two bags.

“ Okay, let's go.”

“ This is all you're taking?”

“ Yeah, that's it.” As she was speaking she pulled a key from the ring in her handbag, placing it on the table in the kitchenette.

Roman nodded and followed her out of the door, as she closed it behind them she took a deep breath and lay her forehead against the painted wood. The Samoan placed the bags down and gathered the woman into his arms, holding her tight against his chest.

“ I'm proud of you Madison, we all are.” His lips once again pressed against the top of her head.

They walked to the car silently once again, but this time Roman had his hand in the middle of Madison's back, trying to let it be a constant reminder that he was there for her should she need him. As they got into the car Roman turned to his friend.

“ Wanna go grab some food, I'm guessing you haven't eaten today?”

“ Yeah, that sounds good.”

“ Okay, we'll get changed and head out, what hotel you staying at?”

Madison looked down at the floor, a slight pink tinge rising on her cheeks.

“ I didn't stay at a hotel.”

“ Where'd you stay then?” As he said it, understanding seemed to dawn on him, when Madison spoke she confirmed his suspicions.

“ Here.” She gestured to the building that they had just left.

Roman sighed softly. “ That wasn't really a smart move Madison, not when there's people like that guy earlier around here.”

“ I lived here for about eight years Roman, I can handle myself around here.” Her voice had a snappy tone.

“ You're right, I'm sorry.”

Roman started driving, Madison didn't ask where they were headed, she was annoyed that he was acting as though she couldn't take care of herself. Well, when she actually thought about it, it was kind of nice that he was worried about her, that he cared enough to want her to be safe. Then there was the underlying sense of guilt she was feeling; how could Roman still feel so protective over her when she had basically accused him of manslaughter? She needed to make it up to him, but she couldn't bare to bring it up, to remind him of her vicious words.

* * *

Madison was still daydreaming when the car came to a stop in a hotel car park, she glanced over at the driver who offered a small smile, maybe he was afraid he had upset her and that was why she had been silent for the entire ride. It wasn't, she was just trying to think of a way that she could apologise to him for what she had said to him at his house, a way that wouldn't make her want to curl up and die of embarrassment for even letting the thought cross her mind. Roman turned the key and the rumble of the motor ceased.

“ I'm pretty damn hungry, so I figured we could just get changed here and then we can sort your room later. Hope you don't mind.”

“ Nah, that's fine.” She tried to smile at Roman, but all of a sudden there was an awkward atmosphere around them.

Madison followed Roman silently to the elevator, watching the easy sway of his hips as he moved, catlike, strange for such a large guy to move so gracefully, but it was captivating. He was still carrying Madison's bags, and when they reached the room he placed them on the floor as she shut the door behind them.

“ You take the shower first if you want it.” He said, ever the gentleman. “ I can . . .”

“ Roman.” She interrupted, fed up of the tension and needing to say something now if she was ever going to do it.

Roman turned to face her and saw the conflict in her eyes. Ever since they had left the apartment her mood had changed, there was an air of tension and awkwardness around them and for the life of him he didn't know why. He hoped it was just left over emotions from the funeral and not because of anything he had done, or said. She was silent for a few seconds as she stared at a spot on the carpet, Roman studied her face, the beauty marred by unease and self doubt.

“ What I said to you at your house, you know, after I'd found out . . . and broke the mirror . . . you know, when I . . .”

He could see how much this was bothering her and truth be told, it had bothered him, until Benji's brother had allayed his fears at the funeral. It hadn't crossed his mind that this would be what his friend was dwelling on, what was so obviously driving her crazy. He moved towards her and brought up his hand, about to touch her arm, but stopped when she flinched away.

“ Madison, don't.”

“ No Roman, I can't not. What I said to you, it was fucking awful, I shouldn't have ever thought that, not about you.” Her eyes filled with tears, but none flowed over the threshold.

All Roman wanted to do was take the woman in his arms and hold her, let her know that he didn't hold it against her, that it was forgiven, but he saw the uncertainty in her eyes and knew that she wouldn't accept his closeness now. Instead he tried to convey in his eyes what he felt, but she wouldn't meet his gaze.

“ Madison, listen . . .”

“ No, just let me . . .”

With that, she dropped to her knees in front of him, and Roman was too blind-sided to even process what was happening. It was only when her deft hands had unbuckled his belt and were working on pulling down the zipper on his dress pants that his brain kicked in. His body still refused to react, well, all but one part, his nether regions were already starting to show an interest. There was a shock of cool air around him as she freed his rapidly hardening cock from his underwear, which was when he finally found his voice.

“ What are you d . . .”

He once again was at a loss for words at the first touch of her on him, a soft kiss placed to the head of his almost fully erect member, causing it to swell to full hardness. His brain was wiped clean of all words, lost in only sensation as her tongue came and licked across his balls and from the root of his shaft to the very tip, circling it and sending a spark of heat all the way through him. A low groan emanated from his mouth as she began to slowly suck him.

Madison had lost it, she realised that, otherwise she wouldn't be on her knees in a hotel room in front of the Samoan who had been invading her thoughts for weeks now. All she knew was this was the way to apologise to him, in a way that meant she didn't have to talk, this kind of apology had always worked with Benji. But she should have known that Roman wouldn't be like him, she knew from the moment she took the whole length of him in her mouth, when he didn't immediately force himself further as her previous lover had always done. She had never done this before, never been in control in this kind of situation, she almost wanted him to take charge, to choke her with his cock, at least then she would know where she stood. She placed a hand on the back of his thigh to try and encourage him to move with her, but he resisted. Even though she wanted to know what look was on his face right now, she knew better than to chance a glance at the man's face, what if it put him off like Benji and he got mad at her.

Roman was in a daze over the current situation, not once could he ever have imagined that this is how the afternoon would turn out. Sure, he had hoped that they would go out, grab some food and then, maybe, at midnight, he would kiss her. If he hadn't been lost in sensation then he probably would have huffed a laugh at his sappy thoughts. As it was, he couldn't think of anything past the feel of Madison's tongue continually running up and down his hardness. He really should stop this, he knew that in some weird way this was her way of apologising for what she had said to him, and that wasn't right. She shouldn't feel like she had to do any kind of sexual favour for forgiveness, but he was only a man and she felt so good on his cock.

Instead he brought his hand up, as soon as he had regained any kind of control of his body, and ran the backs of his curled fingers across her cheek. Her eyes were focused on her task, not once flicking up to his face. His hand moved to brush his fingers through her hair, wrapping her brunette locks around his fingers and giving the tiniest amount of pressure.

Madison was doing her best to show how sorry she was for her actions, taking Roman fully into her mouth and hollowing her cheeks, running her tongue across every inch as she drew backwards. She hoped this was good enough, that he would forgive her after this, but she didn't have any experience doing this herself, always having Benji dictate the speed and force with which she sucked him. All of a sudden she felt his fingers stroke across her face tenderly before tangling in her hair and giving her a delicious amount of pressure. She almost looked up, it was almost too tempting, but she refrained, this was for Roman, she didn't deserve to see Roman's gorgeous face right now. He brought his other hand up to the other side of her head and Madison could feel the atmosphere change once again, to something much more intimate, ironically.

“ Madison, look at me.” 

His voice was much deeper and gruff than usual as he gave a slight tug to her hair, trying to get her to look at him. There it was, the change in atmosphere, the invitation that she had not even known she wanted. As she took him into her mouth as far as she could once more, she lifted her eyes, as she had been so tempted to do all along, and met his gaze. The lust-filled look in his eyes sent a shiver and jolt of lust through her body, as did the amazingly sexy groan that left his mouth as their eyes locked. Now she had seen it, she couldn't look away.

“ You feel so good Madison, you look so beautiful.”

His words did something to her that she couldn't explain, there was longing, want, pride, shock, happiness and so much more washing over her as she sped up her actions. Her spit was all over his rock hard cock as she sucked him strongly, their eyes never parting now that they had met. Roman gasped as her tongue flicked over the head and she couldn't help but smirk at the jerk that went through his body.

At the sight of her upturned lips around him, Roman felt himself start to let go. The fire that had been building in his belly ever since Madison had dropped to her knees in front of him was begging for release. He smoothed his thumb over her cheek and saw the flash of desire along with something else in her eyes, uncertainty. He couldn't hold on any longer.

“ I'm gonna . . .” 

He tried to pull back a little, not wanting to force her to swallow him, but she grabbed his hip, her nails digging in and sparking the delicious heat in him once again as he fell over the edge to bliss. Madison smiled around him one more time as she took him deep into her throat and started to swallow his release.

“ So fucking amazing.” He gasped as his seed shot down the throat of the woman in front of him.

Madison swallowed everything Roman had to give her and then pulled back, wiping her mouth on the sleeve of her dress. His hand was still in her hair, his thumb moving softly over her face when it hit her, what the fuck had she just done? It had started as an apology, a way to let Roman know how sorry she was for accusing him, in a way that she knew any man could understand, but then he had changed it, made it into something else when he asked her to look at him and created a connection between them. A strange shiver ran over Madison, this wasn't supposed to happen, it wasn't supposed to go like this.

As Roman was still floating in the aftermath, Madison stood quickly, grabbed her bag which held her clothes and toiletries and quickly ducked into the bathroom, muttering a quiet _sorry_ as she went. Roman was left confused, staring at the locked bathroom door and wondering what the hell had just happened.


	47. Chapter 47

In the bathroom Madison braced herself over the sink, not daring to look at herself in the mirror for fear of what she would find hidden in the reflection of her own eyes. Her breathing was heavy and the tell-tale heat between her legs was telling her exactly how erotic she had found what had just happened. Why did everything with Roman feel so much different than with Benji? She wasn't used to this. She thought that with Benji she had everything, she was totally devoted to him, that was what love was, right? The flutter in her chest as she closed her eyes and recalled the look on Roman's face in the moment that he came into her eager mouth, his jaw slack and his eyes almost completely black, unnerved her. Finally she looked up into the mirror, seeing that her pupils were also hugely dilated, emanating lust from deep within her, add to that the sheen of saliva that was around her lips and chin, she looked well and truly wrecked.

Having calmed her breathing she undressed quickly and jumped into the shower, letting the water flow over her and wash away the unease of the day. She had tied her hair up so as to not get it wet, she wanted out of this hotel room as soon as possible, she didn't need to worry about drying her hair, and the cold outside meant she couldn't leave it wet. As she covered herself in body wash, she was tempted to let her fingers wander further and help her to release the frustration she was feeling, but she couldn't do that, not with Roman on the other side of these too-thin hotel walls. She quickly washed and dried herself and pulled on a pair of skinny grey jeans, a black vest top and a DA hoody from her backpack. It only took her a minute to fix her make-up in the steamed-up mirror, and now she had to face the music.

* * *

Whilst Madison had been in the shower Roman had sat on the end of the bed, his brain not being able to fully comprehend the situation. He knew full well that the incredible blow job he had just been the recipient of had started off as a way for Madison to apologise to him, almost definitely a remnant of her past relationship that Roman wished he could erase from her brain. When she had finally looked up at him he felt the shift in mood, to one he was much more comfortable with. Ever since his divorce papers had been sent off and he didn't have to worry too much about the consequences, he had gotten used to the idea that he had feelings for Madison that went beyond the physical. When she had met his gaze as his cock was engulfed by her pretty mouth over and over, he had seen the lust in her eyes, knew that she wanted him just as much as he wanted her, but then it all changed again. After the amazing sight of her swallowing around him, she had run away, as she so often did. He had told her she couldn't keep running from this, but evidently that had not sunk in with her yet. With Madison it always felt like he took one step forward and two steps back. He knew that he was going to have to work hard to get her to come out of the shell that she will have surely retreated back into, but he was willing to put in the effort.

Roman heard the bathroom unlock and he brought his gaze up from the floor to watch the reaction of his friend. As she emerged from the small room, fully dressed, Roman thought she looked as though she was going to throw up. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and tell her that she could stop worrying, but he knew he couldn't.

“ Mad . . .” He began, but was quickly interrupted.

“ I . . . I'll, erm, meet you at the car.” With that she quickly exited the room, once again running from him.

Roman took solace in the fact that she had said she would meet him at the car instead of something like she would see him later, which at least meant that he would have the chance to fix this. Also, she had left her bags in the room, which pleased him, at least she wasn't lying and planning on taking off.

* * *

Madison leaned on the hood of the rental car that Roman had parked here less than an hour ago, her breaths leaving puffs of white steam in front of her. She was really trying to be better, talk about things more, like Seth, Dean and Roman were always telling her to do, but she always found it much easier to run. Surely it was personal growth that she had only run as far as the car, and not skipped town in her bid to avoid an awkward conversation. Despite everything she tried to think about, she couldn't stop picturing the look she had seen on Roman's face, knowing that she was the sole reason for the pleasure she saw displayed there was equal parts empowering and terrifying. This wasn't normal, she wasn't used to it, but she was at least trying.

It was only ten minutes later that she saw Roman emerge from the revolving doors of the hotel, Madison noticed that he looked both surprised and happy to see her standing there, as she had told him she would be. She also noticed that he tried to hide the smile that seeing her there had brought to his impossibly handsome face. In that moment she wished she had just agreed to go to the party with Seth and Dean, at least that way Roman could have been distracted by some other girl, and Madison could have sat in the corner drinking. Once again she noticed the sense of disgust and slight anger that she felt at the thought of Roman with another woman, and once again, the feeling didn't sit easy with her.

He pressed the button on the key fob to unlock the car and Madison slid into the passenger seat, turning up the heat immediately; waiting outside hadn't been such a good idea. She watched from the corner of her eye as Roman got into the drivers side and glanced over at her, she thought he was going to try and talk about what happened, and her whole body tensed up. Obviously sensing her reluctance, he instead settled on starting the car and backing out of the space. When they were back on the road he turned to her.

“ So, where's good to eat around here?” He asked casually and Madison felt relief flood her body.

For a few long seconds she was silent, letting the fact that he perhaps wouldn't mention what had happened, sink in. Roman thought that Madison was completely giving him the silent treatment, until she finally spoke.

“ There's a pretty nice diner about four blocks from here, a lot of places'll be crowded already, with it being New Years Eve and all, but this place should be fine.”

They once again fell into silence, with Madison shouting out a few directions every now and then to keep them on track. When they pulled into the parking lot they hurriedly made their way inside and sat in a booth near the back, neither really wanting to be recognised with the tension that already lay so heavy between them.

“ Can I get you guys drinks?” A pretty young waitress asked, smiling widely at the two of them.

“ Yeah, can I get Coke?” Roman said politely.

“ Erm, strawberry shake please.” Madison's voice was quiet and timid, Roman didn't like to hear her sound like that.

“ Sure, coming up.” The waitress, Jessica, left them to it.

As Madison was scanning the menu, Roman took a moment to study her face. At Christmas, at his house, with the guys, he had thought Madison was really taking huge steps to move on with her life, gaining confidence in herself, even so much as to wear a bikini and proudly display her scar and talk about it with his daughter. But now, she seemed to have regressed, her demeanour was timid and unsure, like it had been when they first met. In a way he wished he could take back what had happened in the hotel room, as it seemed that was when she slipped back into being her old self.

“ How're you feeling? You know, with the funeral and all?”

_And all? What a leading phrase._ Madison thought, she decided to ignore the 'and all' part.

“ I'm glad it's over.” She said simply, her face set into a calm expression.

“ You're allowed to be sad, y'know.”

Madison's eyes flicked up to meet Roman's, she hadn't been expecting him to say something like that, but the gaze she received back was soft and kind and it made her heart flutter once again.

“ I know I am, but I'm not, not anymore.” She stopped as the waitress returned with their drinks and took their food order, Roman thought that had brought an end to their discussion, but once Jessica had left again, Madison spoke. “ Staying in that apartment last night, surrounded by my old life, the people, the everything, it made me sick to my stomach that that was some place I used to feel comfortable, I used to call home. I used to fit in there, with those no marks and low lifes, all worrying about their next fix, or what they can steal to get money for enough food to keep them going between hits. The smell of that place, musty, stale alcohol and smoke, that used to be what my life smelt like, I never used to notice it. The stuff around that apartment, old food wrappers, dirty dishes, used condoms, empty bottles, crack pipes, cigarette butts; I was used to all of that being around, I never questioned it, never really noticed. But being there, last night, I felt like I was a prisoner, in my old life, I felt trapped and I couldn't stand it.”

Roman wanted to speak, the way Madison spoke about how she used to live made him incredibly sad, but if she was willing to open up this much to him, especially after he thought she had shut down completely, he wasn't going to interrupt her.

“ And then earlier today, when I was standing outside those gates, watching all those people line up to attend the funeral service of a man that ninety-nine percent of them never actually cared about, all those people that I used to know, that I used to call friends. It was surreal, none of them noticed me standing there, but I felt like if they did, they would act like nothing had changed, like I'd always been there. That's how it is in those circles, no one gives a shit about anyone else, they're only interested in their next fix, or their next sale, you just keep those people around you so you don't realise how terrifyingly, overwhelmingly alone you really are. And in that moment, I felt like if I had of walked down there, it would be cementing me back there, I wouldn't have been able to leave. And then you guys showed up and it was like the pretence shattered, I realised that I wasn't alone, that I wasn't trapped in that life, because I have you three. You've all spent so much time keeping me afloat, not letting me slip back to who I was, and it hit me, you know, that this is where I'm meant to be now, not there, with them.”

When Madison looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with barely contained tears, Roman felt his heart seize in his chest, he wanted to open his mouth and vow that he would never let anything or anyone hurt her ever again, that he would always be there to protect her, to watch over her, but he knew that if he spoke any of that aloud right now, he would have lost her. It hit him then, was this, was this . . . love?

They stayed still, their eyes locked together, Madison's breathing rapid as she was trying to will herself not to cry, Roman's was calm and slow, trying to convey everything he was feeling in just a look. He reached across the table and took one of her trembling hands, stroking his thumb across the back.

“ You're right where you belong Madison, never doubt that.” He said, his voice quiet and deep. 

Madison parted her lips to speak, but at the same moment the waitress turned up with their food, the friends parted their hands and allowed their plates to be placed in front of them. Bacon cheese burger and fries for Roman and chicken burger and fries for Madison, they had agreed that their last meal of the year should be a cheat meal.

As they began to eat, the atmosphere around them cleared a little, became lighter as they chatted about their dream matches for the following year. Madison was embarrassed about her little outburst, but she always felt so comfortable opening up to Roman, even if afterwards she regretted it. When they ran out small talk, Madison decided to speak, wanting to be a good a friend to Roman as he was to her, and let him talk about his troubles.

“ How are you feeling, you know, with the divorce?” She asked, placing a fry into her mouth.

“ Erm, I'm okay. No, really, I am.” He confirmed when he saw Madison raise her eyebrow in question. “ I mean, we weren't happy, not for a long time, we were just going through the motions and it was easier to do that than break up our family. Obviously I'm away a lot, so it's not like we had to be around each other twenty-four seven, if we had, then I think things would have ended a lot sooner. We could manage to be a family for the day or two I was at home, and I didn't want Olivia to have to go through something like that. When her Mom and I separated, I mean, we were never married, but when we split up, she was still a baby really, so she didn't know any different, but now, I mean, you know, she's a smart cookie and I knew something like that would really upset her.”

“ How is she dealing with it?” The concern in Madison eyes over his daughter warmed the Samoan's heart.

“ She's coping pretty well, obviously Kayla's in Canada now, so Livvy isn't gonna see her as much as she'll probably want to. But, I mean, Kayla's been up there for a while now, so Olivia kinda got used to her not being around so much, I guess she's used to that with me. She's kinda used to parents not being around.”

“ Hey, don't say stuff like that. Olivia adores you, anyone can see that. She understands why you have to go. Like you said, she's smart.”

“ Yeah, I know. When I speak to her on the phone she says the most grown up things, like she knew I wasn't happy before and she just wants her Daddy to be happy.” A wide grin broke out on Roman's face and Madison couldn't help but smile too.

“ She's freaking adorable.”

“ She asks about you, you know, she wanted to know why you were sad at Christmas.”

“ What did you tell her?”

“ The truth, for the most part, I told her that someone you used to be really close to died. I hope you don't mind.”

“ No, not at all. So, have you heard from Kayla since?” Madison wanted to give Roman all the chance to talk that he needed.

“ Only once, when her lawyer got the divorce papers, she called me to try and sort out a settlement without going through the courts. I mean, we signed a pre-nup because my Dad said it would be a good idea, that said she didn't get any claim on my future earnings or anything to do with WWE and all that crap, so I guess she was trying to see where she stood.”

“ That kinda stuff's none of my business, but I thought that if she was the one who filed for divorce then she couldn't contest anything.” Madison didn't know much about marriage law, but she had picked up a little from TV shows.

Roman suddenly stiffened and shuffled in his seat as though he was uncomfortable, and Madison felt a wave of dread wash over her as to what Roman would say next. He didn't meet her eyes when he spoke, just focused on the fry he was running through the sauce of his plate.

“ You're right, except . . . that on the papers, she stated the reason for the divorce to be, you know, my . . . infidelity. And I didn't contest it.”

Madison's heart dropped, infidelity, what a weighty word, it meant so much more than she had ever thought about when it came to her and Roman. In truth, there was only a couple of times that they had been together that she had even given a second thought to him being married, and that made her feel dirty and worthless.

“ So, it _was_ my fault.” She stated simply, her voice devoid of any emotion. Roman once again worried that he was going to make her shut down completely.

“ No, Madison, it wasn't. Like I said, we hadn't been right for a long time, even before you came to the company, before I knew you even existed, you can ask Seth and Dean if you don't believe me. I just . . . when I spent that night, at your apartment, she accused me of having an affair, but I denied it. We didn't speak about it again, but she obviously didn't believe me, and when the papers came through and it was written there in black and white, it didn't feel right to contest it. I couldn't deny it anymore, I couldn't deny . . . us.”

A weight seemed to fall on both of their shoulders with that one word, 'us'. Roman didn't dare look up for fear of what he would see in the brunette's eyes, and Madison was in shock at his words. The situation had gone so much further than she ever thought it would that night in the hotel gym when she had thrown caution to the wind and let Roman fuck her for the first time. The pressure on her chest was a little overwhelming so she decided to change the subject.

“ You reckon the guys are having a good time at the party?” She asked, hoping to lighten the mood.

Roman looked at his watch, it was nine-thirty and the part had been arrange to start at eight, as everyone would be too drunk to carry on much after midnight. He knew that Madison was leading the conversation to somewhere she felt more comfortable, and for now he was okay with that.

“ Yeah, I bet they're already six drinks down and getting wild.” He chuckled as he sipped his drink.

“ You reckon Seth and Paige'll get together properly after tonight? Instead of just messing around.” Madison smiled around her straw and it made Roman's mind flash back to when she had smiled around his cock, God how he wanted to take in that sight again. He shook his head briefly to rid himself of that image.

“ I dunno, perhaps. Would you be okay with that?” Roman knew that Seth and Madison were close, and he knew that Madison relied on Seth a lot for support, when she needed someone to talk to. He had wondered more than one whether there was anything more between them, even though Seth had told him there hadn't ever been and Madison had only admitted to having a crush on him back when they first met.

“ Yeah, of course. I want him to be happy.” She smiled genuinely.

“ Have you and Seth ever, you know?” The curiosity was getting the better of him.

“ No, never.” Madison laughed. “ I mean, I told you before that I had a crush on him when I first joined Ring of Honor, but I was only eighteen, and I was with Benji. He's always just seen me as a little sister, and that's how I see him now; my big bro. It'd just be weird for anything to ever happen between us now.”

Roman smiled, admittedly a little relived. Now Madison seemed relaxed once more, seemingly forgetting the tension his earlier words brought on them, he decided to test the waters a little further.

“ How about Dean? How would you feel if him and Renee get together tonight?”

There was no hesitation before Madison spoke again, which Roman took as a good thing, if she didn't have to think about it.

“ I'd be happy. I want them to get together, he needs to stop playing games with her and get a grip. I love Renee, she's funny and smart and kind, they'd be perfect together. I know why you're asking, because of what's happened before with me and Dean, but that isn't going to happen again. I love Dean to death, he gets me better than anyone else, but even if he did want to be with me, which he doesn't, we'd really piss each other off. We're too similar to work together. Him and Renee on the other hand, would be great, I just hope he grows a pair and tells her how he really feels, 'cause I know for a fact that she really likes him.”

Talking about her friends had improved Madison's mood greatly, these men made her so happy, as did the other friends she had made since joining WWE.

“ I'm sorry you're stuck here with me instead of enjoying yourself with them.” 

Roman's mouth twitched into a little smile and he shook his head slowly, there were so many things he could say to Madison right now, but none of them would be right, so instead he just kept quiet. Madison knew that Roman was holding back his response and she was glad in a way, sure that it would be something that would make her feel unnerved. 

As Roman went back to eating his meal she studied his face, the handsome features that she knew fit perfectly around the kindest, most genuine and passionate eyes she had ever seen. Whenever she looked at Roman it gave her butterflies, which turned into a hurricane in her gut when he smiled at her. It meant a lot to her that he had stayed behind with her when he could have been partying with his friends, but she didn't know how to voice it properly. She wished she could react better to things than she did, she wished she hadn't reacted in the way she had back in the hotel room earlier that evening, but she couldn't take it back now. She knew that she had probably hurt Roman, running away like that, again, but she couldn't think of anything worse than the awkward conversation they would have had if she had stayed.

“ It still hasn't gone away, you know.” 

Madison spoke out of the blue, as through continuing a conversation they had already been having, Roman wasn't sure what she was alluding to, but he would try and catch up.

“ What hasn't?”

“ Everything with Benji, how it affected me.”

“ No one would expect it to Madison, it's not gonna happen overnight.”

“ I know, but I just wanted to . . .” She sighed as she saw the worried expression in her friends eyes, but what she wanted to say wasn't coming out right. “ Like, I think I'm getting better, you know, with being close to people, even just silly things like hugs. And when people say nice things to me now, I don't get angry. I don't really get angry at all now, like with Eva Marie the other day, part of me wanted to punch the smirk off her face, but I just didn't feel that anger I usually get.”

“ That's probably a good thing though, anger isn't the best way to deal with things.” Roman knew the anger of which Madison spoke about, he had witnessed it many times, he had quelled it many times, but he knew it wasn't healthy for her to feel like that.

“ But for a long time it was the only way I knew how to deal with things, and with that gone I don't know how to, you know, deal with things.”

In between those words Roman thought he heard her message, that without the anger behind their encounters, being the excuse for why they happened, Madison didn't know how to understand them, to deal with them. His heart swelled as he realised she was trying to explain things to him, and maybe even apologise for earlier.

“ It takes time Madison, there was a lot of things you were used to with Benji that you shouldn't have had to be used to, that you don't have to be used to anymore. I know that must be scary and confusing, being out of your comfort zone, but it'll get better. And like I've said before, we're all here for you.” He tried to be gentle with his words and he saw the soft smile grace Madison's beautiful lips.

“ I know. I just, I was so used to being told what to do and for decisions to be made for me, that I don't know how to handle it when I'm given control, I don't know how to make those decisions for myself.” Her eyes were sad, and Roman may have been reading too much into her words, inserting meaning that he was hoping to hear, but he was pretty sure the message was for him.

“ No one is rushing you Madison, you have all the time you need to make your decisions.” He watched as another smile flickered across her face, and he knew he had spoken the right words.

Yet again they fell into a silence, this one much more comfortable than the others, as they finished off the meals that had pretty much gone cold by now. When they were done, Madison looked up to her friend, happy with how relaxed things now seemed between them, despite the weight of their evening's conversations.

“ Roman?” She asked gently.

“ Yeah?” He looked up and saw a playful expression on her face, her eyes sparkling and a smirk playing on her lips, he couldn't help but smile at how beautiful she looked.

“ Can we have brownies?” She fluttered her eyelashes and in that moment he would have given her the world, so a few brownies certainly weren't a stretch.

They spent the next hour enjoying a ridiculous amount of the sweet treat, covered in chocolate sauce and ice cream, both agreeing that should the world end at midnight they should certainly be stuffed full of delicious dessert, and if it didn't, they would hit the gym extra hard in the morning. The conversation was easy once more, and they were both glad of the turn around, not wanting to spend the last hours of the year having heavy, tense discussions. 

“ You wanna go find a bar and get a drink to call in the New Year?” Roman asked.

“ With a belly full of chocolate and ice-cream, you wanna drink alcohol? You are a machine!” She grinned, but was already pulling on her jacket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Oh Lordy, only one more chapter and the Epilogue left, this makes me sad :(**
> 
> Enjoy!


	48. Chapter 48

They took the car back to the hotel and walked to the nearest bar, which of course was over-crowded, but that was to be expected at eleven pm on New Years Eve. The music was loud and people were dancing and chatting all over the place. There was a sea of people all dressed in glitzy outfits and high heels, Madison looked down at her own attire appraisingly, frowning slightly.

“ I think I'm a little under-dressed.” She turned and said to Roman, her voice loud so that he could hear her over the music.

When she turned back she felt him lean down so his mouth was by her ear.

“ And still you look twice as beautiful as anyone in here.” He said, his breath hitting her face and his hand on her hip as he walked behind her, guiding her through the people towards the bar.

The words sent a shiver of delight from her toes to the top of her head, her whole body wanting to bask in the sentiment. Instead, she leaned into his touch slightly, and the pressure on her hip grew tighter for only a second.

They made it to the bar finally and ordered their drinks, for now happy to lean against the solid wood and watch other people, who had obviously had too much to drink already, attempt to move to the music. Roman watched Madison as she watched the crowd, he was glad she hadn't clammed up at his words on their way in, he felt a little more confident of saying that kind of thing when they were in public and the fact that it was pretty dark in here helped. He found himself wondering if they would kiss at midnight or if that was too far to push her.

There wasn't too much talking between the two of them now they were in here, they just enjoyed their drinks and enjoyed people watching; they didn't get to do it much in their profession, always being the ones being watched. Every so often they would point out a particularly funny drunken dancer or overly amorous couple and share a laugh.

At around half eleven Madison had gone off to the toilet and Roman had continued to people watch. He almost didn't notice when a pretty red-head approached him, she was taller than Madison and curvier, but no match to her beauty, at least in Roman's mind. When she placed her hand on his forearm and leaned up to say 'wanna buy me a drink handsome?' in his ear, Roman felt bad that part of him wanted to use this as a sort of test for his friend. She had admitted to him once that she was jealous when she thought another woman had been flirting with him, and he wanted to see what her reaction would be now, but he was also scared that it would make her run away again. 

Despite the guilt he felt at testing her, his curiosity got the best of him, so he signalled to the bar-tender to get the lady a drink. The smile on her face grew when she realised he had agreed, she moved a little closer to him, her leg was touching his now, and her hand was still on his arm, although now she was beginning to trace her fingers up and down the flesh there. He had absolutely no interest in this woman, and felt kind of bad that he was letting her think he had, but seeing Madison's reaction was much more important to him right now.

* * *

Madison finally left the bathroom after waiting forever in line, she smiled as she made her way back to where Roman would be waiting for her. She was enjoying how this night was turning out, even though it had been a roller-coaster of a day, spending time with Roman was making her happy. When she had fought her way through the crowd and had a clear path to the bar, she saw something that made her stomach flip and her fists clench; Roman stood at the bar, with a slutty looking red head half draped over him.

Her feet were moving faster as she closed the distance between them and her, she had every intention of knocking this woman's head off. When she was five steps away, she remembered how Dean had told her she couldn't make scenes like this in public anymore, so she tried to calm down a little. It was a good job that Roman's back was to her, otherwise he would have seen the rage in her eyes. It wasn't like the hot ball of anger she used to get, this was a bubbling sensation in her guts, a feeling that was practically screaming 'hands off' to this other woman.

As she closed those final few steps she wasn't even thinking about what her feelings or actions right now meant, how she shouldn't be letting herself feel this . . . possessive over the Samoan, her body was just driving on forward. When she reached them, she saw the flirtatious smile on the woman's face and she had to stop her fist flying forward.

“ Sorry, my drink.” She explained as she inserted herself between the two of them to retrieve her drink from where it was sat on the bar.

The reaction in the woman's eyes was one of pure surprise, obviously not knowing what to make of this random woman interrupting her flirting session.

“ Hey! Do you mind!” She screeched over the music.

Madison ignored her words, but cast a look at her that clearly told her not to mess with her. She couldn't look at Roman, didn't want to see if he was pissed off that she had stopped this little love-in he was having. Instead, she just grabbed his wrist.

“ We're leaving.” She said simply, moving towards the doors and Madison was glad that she didn't feel any resistance from the man behind her.

She carried on marching, pulling him along, across the road and into Roman's hotel. Not once did she speak a word or glance back at him as she pressed the button for the elevator. Luckily the doors opened immediately and she pulled him in behind her. Only when the doors closed behind them did she turn around to face him, seeing a little shock, a little surprise and a lot of something else in his eyes . . . satisfaction maybe?

“ Madi . . .”

She didn't let him finish that thought, smashing her lips against his with a force that was probably a little too much, but it felt necessary to her. Roman responded by wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her back with equal passion and she felt him smile into the kiss. When they got to the right floor, they backed out of the lift and stumbled towards Roman's room, not once breaking their make-out session. Roman pulled the key card out of his back pocket and let them into the room, the door had barely closed when he pressed her back up against it and his hands began to explore the lines of her body.

Through their lust-filled haze they almost didn't hear the ringing of the phone that broke the silence in the room. After a few rings Madison managed to pull the device out of her pocket and looked at the screen to see a photo of Dean pulling a ridiculous face that let her know he was calling her.

“ It's Dean.” She mumbled against his lips.

“ You better answer it then.” He said, moving his kisses to her neck as Madison brought the phone to her ear.

“ Hey Madison!” Dean's happy voice rang through the phone and Madison couldn't quite believe that she was taking this call while Roman lips were attacking her neck and his hands were all over her.

“ Hey Dean! You okay?”

“ Yeah, I just wanted to call you before the phone lines get all clogged up, to say Happy New Year and tell you I love you. And Ro.” Dean was obviously a little drunk, he was always a bit sing-songy when he'd had a few.

“ Happy New Year Dean, we love you too.” She smiled as he back arched into Roman's touch. “ Did you speak to Renee yet?”

“ Well, I told her I'm gonna find her at midnight, so that's kinda the same thing.”

“ No it isn't Dean.”

She listened to his chuckle on the other end of the line and heard him exhale loudly. Despite the extreme distraction of Roman, she needed to ask him something.

“ Dean Ambrose, are you smoking?!”

“ Yeah, but don't worry, am gonna give it up in the New Year.” He laughed again.

“ It doesn't work like that, you can't just start smoking on New Years Eve so you can use it as your resolution.”

“ Can. What's yours?”

“ My resolution? I haven't thought about it.”

At that moment Roman bit her neck lightly and then flicked his tongue over the mark, Madison couldn't help the gasp that escaped her mouth, but she quickly tried to hide it with a cough. She felt Roman's lips smile against her skin as he began to undo the fasten on her jeans.

“ Whatever, hey, is Rome there? Tell him that he's gotta kiss you at midnight. Can't have our princess going kiss-less at New Year.” He obviously hadn't noticed the noise she had made.

Madison smiled and look down at Roman who was now on his knees kissing her stomach

“ Rome, Dean says you've gotta kiss me at midnight.”

His eyes sparkled as he grinned.

“ I think I can manage that.” He said as he tugged her jeans down her legs. Madison realised she needed to end this call quickly.

“ Where are you guys? It's awful quiet, and why're you outta breath?” Dean sounded confused.

“ We're in a club, we just stepped out to take your call. And I'm outta breath cause of dancing.” She didn't like lying to Dean, but she couldn't really say 'we're in the hotel and I'm outta breath 'cause I'm incredibly turned on and about to be fucked by your best friend'.

“ Fair enough. I'll let you go now, get back before the fireworks. Am sure Seth says Happy New Year too, but he's otherwise engaged, seeing this year out with a bang, as it were.” Dean laughed.

“ Okay, bye Dean. Happy New Year.”

“ Bye.” Roman shouted as he nipped at Madison's hip bone.

“ Bye guys.” Dean finally hung up.

Madison threw her phone onto the desk and looked down at Roman who had a wicked glint in his eye as he ran his tongue back up her body, coming to stand in front of her again.

“ You're evil, it's lucky Dean was half drunk.” She chided, but soon shut up when his mouth was once again on hers.

They hastily stripped each other of their clothes before Roman took Madison's hands in his and took a step back, looking over her completely naked body approvingly. Unlike other times, Madison didn't want to shy away from his gaze, was happy he was looking at her with that desire in his eyes instead of that stupid red-head at the bar.

“ So fucking beautiful.” He whispered as he led her to the bed.

He let Madison lay down and he crawled slowly between her legs, leaning down to kiss and suck at her nipples as he made his way up her body. Once they were again face to face they just looked at each other for a few moments, their hot breaths being exchanged by mouths that were barely a centimetre apart. The fingers of Roman's left hand began to run up and down her side, over her scar repeatedly and she could feel the wetness between her legs grow. He smirked at her as if to say 'see, I knew it turned you on'. Madison brought her hand up to Roman's face, he turned and placed a kiss into her palm. 

Everything was different, and yet, everything was exactly the same. The atmosphere between them was something stronger, more than it had ever been before, like this was the crescendo that their encounters had been building towards. Madison felt her body trembling with an overwhelming desire to have him deep inside of her. They both knew that this was not a night for foreplay, none was needed anyway; Madison was already dripping wet, had been since she had sucked Roman's cock earlier in the day, and Roman was rock hard, hard enough that he thought he might explode at the slightest touch, but he wouldn't let that happen.

Their lips still didn't meet as he slid slowly into her, making sure she felt every inch. The moan that rose from Madison's lips was almost too sexy, almost made Roman want to cum there and then. When he was seated to the hilt he dropped his head forward and finally brought their lips together. They stayed like that for a little while, slowly kissing with Roman's cock deep inside of her, not moving an inch. 

It soon got too much for Roman and he had to move, he kept his thrusts strong and slow as he relished in the whimpers he was hearing from the woman underneath him. He had hoped that they would kiss at midnight, but this was so much better. He was thankful that his little plan at the bar had worked the way he had hoped, he knew Madison felt something for him, she was just too afraid to admit it.

After a while Roman rolled onto his back, earning a distressed cry from Madison at the loss of him inside of her. As he pulled her over to straddle him, he saw the flash of desire and excitement in her eyes and knew that she was happy to take control here, like he had showed her before. Madison sank down onto his length, taking everything he had to give her, and the sight of her sat up on him, filled with his cock, with her body stretched out and one of her hands tangled in her hair, the other playing with her own breast, was the most erotic and breath-taking scene he had ever witnessed.

She began to bounce on him, using her strong thigh muscles to full effect. It felt so good to have him inside of her again like this, washing away the memory of the last time they were together, and the things she had said to him then. Her body was overwrought with sensation, from his cock, from his hands, even just from his eyes. Those eyes that held so much promise, promise that she wanted to explore, but was utterly terrified of at the same time.

They were both nearing their climaxes as Madison leant down to connect their lips once more. Roman wrapped his strong arms around her and began to thrust up powerfully, matching her with every movement of his hips. Their moans were the only things that could be heard throughout the room as they got lost in the pleasure that was overtaking their bodies. Roman sensed when Madison was close and tightened his hold around her, bucking up faster into her willing body, his hand on her side running up and down the length of her scar. He felt as her resolve broken and she let go, her inner walls gripping his cock tightly as she moaned loudly.

The noise she made went straight to his cock, making him desperate to cum. She kissed him passionately as he continued to thrust up into her, letting her ride out her orgasm. Less than two minutes later he felt his balls become tighter and he placed his hand fully over Madison's scar as he let go and felt his release pump into the beautiful woman on top of him. Once he had finished, he manoeuvred so he could pull his cock out of her, but let her lay her head back down on his chest.

He placed a kiss on her head as he absent-mindedly stroked his fingers up and down her back, making her squirm slightly at the touch. He felt Madison's lips press to his tattooed pectoral in a kiss and he smiled widely. He brought the sheet up over them, protecting them from the slight chill in the room. As they were laying there, they heard the first fireworks go off, to signal that it was midnight and the new year had begun. Madison leaned her head up and kissed Roman, he returned the kiss, letting his tongue slide into her perfect mouth. It was the first time they had kissed after sex.

“ Dean said you had to kiss me at midnight.” She explained as they parted.

“ I always did like that guy.” Roman smiled and pulled Madison tighter to his chest. “ So Madison, what is this? New year, new start?” He was almost afraid to ask, but even if she just agreed to a new start away from her life with Benji, that was enough for him for now.

Madison sighed as she began to trace the lines of Roman's tattoo with her fingertips, paying extra attention to where his hidden scar was.

“ I can't promise anything Roman.” She breathed onto his skin, and Roman smiled gratefully, it was probably the closest to a 'yes' he was going to get right now.

“ I'm not asking you to promise anything Madison, all I'm asking is that you stop running from it, from this. Can you do that?”

Once again he was afraid he had pushed to far, but if he didn't do this now he probably never would, and he was fed up of not knowing where he stood.

“ Yes.” She said finally, barely more than a whisper. “ I'll make it my New Year's resolution.” She looked up then and met his eyes, smiling.

Roman leaned down and kissed her once more, tasting those sweet words on her tongue, that almost promise. He didn't think he had been happier recently than he was right now. He decided not to voice the fact that his New Years resolution had become to make her the happiest woman in the world, this wasn't the time for that, he had already gotten so much more than he expected out of tonight, he didn't want to push his luck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **That's all folks! Well, except for a little epilogue to see how the little cuties are getting on.**   
>  **I hope you enjoyed my story. I appreciate all of you who have read, left kudos or left comments throughout**


	49. Chapter 49

**Epilogue**

It had been three and a half weeks since New Years Eve, three and a half amazing weeks and tonight was Royal Rumble, the night where Roman was going to win his first WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Over the past twenty-four days Madison and Roman had grown much closer, they hadn't told anyone about what was going on between them, hadn't even labelled what it was. But for now, for Roman, it was enough. They went out for dinner, or watched movies at one of their houses and the sex was phenomenal. No one had raised any suspicions that there was anything more going on, but both Roman and Madison believed there was only so many times they could make excuses for being at each other's houses without having asked Dean or Seth to join them, or for being out to dinner, just the two of them when Naomi and Jimmy had been at the same restaurant.

As for Dean, he had taken the plunge and told Renee that he wanted to be with her, and they were blissfully happy, probably a big part of the reason that he hadn't been paying as much attention to what his others friends were up to. Seth and Paige were still just messing around, but that suited them just fine.

Before they came to the show Madison had been coaching Roman, getting him pumped for his match, he had really wanted to fuck her, but she told him he needed to save his energy for the ring. They drove to the arena with Dean, Renee and Seth, all chattering excitedly about the pay-per-view, Dean and Seth eager to put on a impressive performance in the Rumble, even though they already knew that Bray Wyatt was going to win.

At the arena Madison and Renee had headed off to make-up and left the guys to get changed and psyche themselves up for their matches. Madison let Renee into a little secret about her new ring gear, which got the friends excited. Renee went off to get set up for the pre show and Madison headed to her locker room where she knew Naomi would be waiting for her. They were fighting against each other tonight, for Madison's championship, but they were still close friends outside of the ring. The champ changed quickly and paraded around so that her friend could see her new look.

“ You look amazing Mads.” She hugged her before leaving the room to make her entrance.

As soon as Naomi left, Roman slipped into the locker room, luckily Madison had pulled a robe around her before he came in, so he didn't ruin the surprise. He immediately pulled her into a sweet kiss and wrapped his arms around her small frame.

“ You shouldn't be in here.” She chided, although she still leaned in for another kiss.

“ I couldn't resist. I just wanted to wish you luck.” He pouted and she couldn't help but grin at him.

In the past three weeks he had instilled so much confidence in her that she couldn't quite believe it, so much confidence that she was about to go out in front of thirty-thousand people and conquer her once greatest fear.

“ Good luck for your match too, in case I don't see you.” She placed one last kiss on his lips, she knew she probably wouldn't see him, because by the time her match was finished, he would already be up at the back of the arena ready to make his entrance. 

With one last kiss he left her and went to find Dean and Seth who would be gathered around a monitor somewhere to watch their girl retain her title.

* * *

As Madison's music began, Roman found his friends; there was Dean, Renee, Seth, Jimmy and Jey, all sat around a monitor in one of the back stage rooms. Naomi was already in the ring, bouncing around, excited for the match. When Madison appeared at the top of the ramp, there was an audible gasp in the room, and Roman had to suppress an aroused groan at the sight on the screen. Instead of her usual silver and gold almost cat suit, Madison had on skin-tight shiny black tights with a purple 'M' emblazoned across her perfect ass, and a shiny black bra-top that made her breasts look amazing. As the camera zoomed in on her, they could all see her scar, out and proud, and the look on Madison's face was one of pure joy. Roman smiled at the thought that he had hopefully given her the confidence to go out there and show her scar to the world, him along with the other people in this room with him, and the one in the ring waiting for her.

“ Holy Hell, she looks smokin'” Renee voiced what they were all thinking.

“ Mmmm I like that my girl can appreciate a fine looking woman.” Dean growled and pulled Renee into a quick kiss.

“ I can't believe she actually did it, I didn't think she'd ever get to this point.” Seth laughed, but the smile on his face showed how proud he was of his best friend.

“ Well, looks like she doesn't hate the scar anymore.” Jey agreed.

“ Yep, in fact, I think she kinda likes it now, it's what makes her her.” Roman said finally as he placed his hand on Dean's shoulder, hoping to finally quash any residual guilt that the other man had over Madison's scar. Dean turned his head to the side, a smile on his face, and winked at his Samoan friend, knowing exactly what he was doing.

They all watched the match, a great fifteen minute fight between the two incredibly athletic women. Roman had to leave before the end to make his way up to the back of the arena, but he knew his girl was going to win. _His girl_. He liked the sound of that. Sure, they hadn't exactly discussed what they were, but they were most definitely something, and one day he was going to be able to call her his girl without a shadow of a doubt in his mind.

* * *

Roman's match was an epic, brutal twenty-five minute brawl, he and Cesaro took each other to the edge so many times that the crowd didn't know who was going to win. It was with one final, body breaking spear that Roman finally pinned the Swiss superman for the one, two, three. The crowd roared and Roman drank it in, he celebrated a while in the ring, getting up on the turn-buckles and raising the belt into the air, before finally getting out of the ring and heading to where his parents were sat at ringside with Olivia. He pulled his little girl out of the crowd and hugged her close to him, laughing when he heard her complain in his ear that he was too sweaty.

He passed his daughter back to his father and made his way into the back. Cesaro was there to congratulate him first, having already made his way back stage. They shared an embrace before he made his way over to his friends. His body was screaming at him to lay down, but the adrenaline was pumping hard in his veins. He welcomed the hugs and well-wishes from his friends, but the whole time his eyes were zeroed in on one person, who was standing with the others, still in her incredibly sexy new ring gear. 

Once he had been hugged by everyone but her he made his way over, she opened her arms for a hug, much as the others had done, but that wasn't going to cut it for Roman. He grabbed her face in his hands and crashed their lips together, Madison responded to the kiss immediately. He was vaguely aware of the gasps and cat-calling from his friends and other people back stage, but he was lost in the moment. When he pulled back he saw the shock and mild panic in Madison's eyes. She looked behind her at the others briefly before taking off towards the locker rooms. Roman let out a frustrated groan, ignoring his friends' questions behind him, before he followed after her at jogging pace.

* * *

When he entered her locker room, he found her leaning against the wall, her head back and her eyes closed.

“ I thought you were going to stop running.” He growled.

“ I'm sorry Roman, I just wasn't expecting that, not in front of everybody.” She caught his eye.

“ I know, I'm sorry, I just really needed to kiss you.”

“ Well, we're alone now.” She smirked at him, pulling away from the wall slightly.

Roman smiled and stalked towards her like a lion after it's prey, he placed his championship down on the bench, alongside hers before he placed his hands on her hips and pressed her back into the wall as he kissed her. Their kisses quickly turned passionate, and although Roman's body was beyond sore, he didn't hesitate to pull Madison's legs off the ground to wrap around his waist, supporting her body against the wall. She pulled feverishly at his vest, almost ripping it off him in her haste and soon she had him topless. His hands moved to grab her ass as she ran her hands up and down his back. Neither of them heard the door open until it was too late.

“ What the fuck!” Seth's voice almost screeched.

Roman and Madison turned their heads to look at the intruders, and sure enough, Seth and Dean were standing in the doorway, Renee not far behind. Roman glared at them, warning them to leave.

“ Something tells me it's not old Romeo's first time at this particular rodeo.” Dean grinned and Madison threw the nearest thing she could grasp at him, which happened to be Roman's vest.

“ Will you get the fuck out of here!” She yelled.

“ Okay, okay. Just be thankful we didn't bring Olivia back here yet.” Dean grinned. “ We'll go get her now and show her around, you've got fifteen minutes, tops.” 

“ And then you can explain what the fuck's going on.” Seth added, shock still across his face.

They finally left, and Roman wasted no time in carrying on where he left off. He quickly stripped Madison of her ring gear and pressed himself into her, feeling her familiar warmth around his cock. His pace was frantic and eager, the adrenaline from his match still coursing through his veins, making him want to take every sensation as quickly and strongly as he could. They both climaxed quickly and Roman carried Madison into the shower cubicle.

He quickly washed, dried and dressed do he would be presentable when Dean and Seth brought Olivia into the room. Madison was still in the shower when she heard voices and knew everyone was back. She thought she would feel more panicky at the thought of the other discovering her and Roman's secret, but it didn't bother her all too much. It was at this moment that Madison realised how much she had changed in the past half year.

She dried quickly and pulled on some sweats that she had left in here earlier, before walking out to meet the others, her cheeks burning red a little at the lecherous look that Dean was giving her, whilst wiggling his eyebrows in an overly comical way.

“ Hey Livvy, why don't you tell Madison what you were just telling us.” Roman asked his daughter in his sweet Papa-Bear voice.

The little girl turned around to Madison looking a little sheepish, Madison smiled at her and held her hand out. The child took it and smiled a big grin up at the woman, obviously overcoming her nervousness about what she was going to say.

“ I said that now Daddy's the champion too, you should be his new girlfriend.” The sweet innocence in her tone completely wiped away any shock that Madison should have felt at those words.

She smiled at Olivia, before looking up at Roman and raising an eyebrow at him.

“ You heard the girl Madison, so what d'you say?” He grinned and Madison looked to the side of him to see Dean, Seth and Renee all waiting with bated breath. It almost made her giggle.

“ I say that just because you have the most adorable daughter in the entire world, it doesn't mean you can use her to manipulate me.” The smile on Madison's face gave away that her words were only teasing.

“ That might be true, but I didn't make her say that. And you didn't answer the question. You wanna be WWE's new power couple?” He winked at her and her resolve broke.

“ Yeah.” She said, barely above a whisper.

Roman ignored the little cheers from his friends as he stepped up to Madison, _his girlfriend_. He took her mouth in a soft but passionate kiss and wrapped his arms around her. He felt Olivia wrap her arms around both of their legs and Madison laughed a little against his lips.

Tonight was perfect, he had his friends, his daughter, his championship, and _his girl_!


End file.
